Beginnings
by itswhatido
Summary: It seem almost as if everything is a cruel test to see if the Curtis family and their friends have what it takes to adapt to life after the passing of their parents. Each member is pushed to their own limitations. *Continued after a long time hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: I do not own the outsider, I was only Inspired by the work of S.E. Hinton.My eyes opened and I cursed myself for being awake. It was hard for me to sleep. Especially during the week, so I always counted on being able to catch up on the weekends.

I knew there was no point in laying in bed. Once I was awake there was no chance I was falling back to sleep.

I walked as silently as I could to the light switch and back to my bed, but it always seems like everything was always so much louder when I was trying to be quiet. The last thing I wanted was to wake someone up.

Soda went out late with Steve, I was sure he would sleep until noon if no one bothered him. Pony had, had a rough week. I helped him study several times and I even think Soda pitched in, but he would deny it if you asked him. Darry, of course he always needed sleep. He was always pulling things in his back and shoulders. Sleep would benefit him the most.

He woke up for everything though! Every cry, scream, or bad dream he heard everything. My mom was the same way.

I sat on the ground reading my biology text book until my foot began tingling. It was completely asleep.

I laid on my back and put my foot on the bed wiggling my toes as I turned to the next page. Biology was going to be the death of me. That class was like nails on a chalk board.

As I finished the chapter I noticed that the sky was beginning to brighten. I looked to see if I could see the sun rise, but I couldn't. Pony had a soft spot for sun rises. He mentioned them every once in a while, but only to me.

I was nearly finished studying when I had to change positions to be able to take notes on what I had read.

It's never enough just making us read a chapter you have to make us take notes on it too.

I flipped back and fourth a few times through the pages, but it didn't take long for me to finish and move on to math.

Math was always annoying. Because you can understand the concept in class then get home to do the work, and no longer remember how to do it. Then, you are screwed.

I was better at math than most people would believe. I owe that to my mother. She was a wiz at math. She would help me with my math every day when the boys where playing ball with my dad.

Everything I know I owe to her.

It didn't take all that long for me to finish my math considering the amount we had.

I was just about finished when there was a tap on my door.

"Morning," I responded glancing up from my work, but resumed right after.

"You're up kind of early aren't you?" He asked with his hair shooting out of ten different directions.

"No, it's nearly 8:30." I looked at the clock.

"How long you been up though?" he rubbed his eyes.

"Not long." I bent the truth. He knew I was too. He had a way of knowing things.

"I'm making coffee, I'll call you when It's ready." He explained walking out of the room.

I finshed my math and was well on my way through my history assignment when I heard Darry, "Mary coffee!" He called.

I got up and made my way to the kitchen. I poured a cup and sat on the counter to enjoy it. I needed a break for a few minutes.

"You know I don't like you drinking that often, Mar." he told me not looking up from yesterday's paper.

I didn't respond.

"Use a chair," he instructed still not looking up.

I moved to the chair at the opposite end of the table. I felt like the reason Darry and I didn't have many conflicts was because I left him alone. When he went off on some rant about something, I just kept my mouth shut and got out of the way.

Pony doesn't. He fights back. He doesn't mean too, he's just defending himself, but one thing I learned a long time ago was that in an argument with Darry, you won't win. So, just go ahead and assume you are wrong.

I finished my cup and left for my room to finish my work. I completed my history assignment and started my essay on an english book that I barley read. I skimmed through a few pages as Pony came barging in.

"What's up pal?" I asked softly as he plopped into my bed.

"Everyone's so noisy!" He whined pulling the covers over his head.

"Don't drool on my pillows Mr!" I told him then I left him alone and finished all that I could of my essay. I would be one of the few to even do it so it wasn't like the teacher was going to grade to harshly.

"Morning Mar!" Soda came in her room whistling. Pony sat up threw a pillow at Soda then laid back down.

"What's all that about?" Soda laughed

"I've been trying to sleep but you woke me up when you left the room, then you came back in three times, then I heard the shower, and Darry took a shower! I came back here for peace!" Pony sat back up.

"Well, don't get your panties in a wad!" Soda tease tickling Pony slightly.

"What are you doing today?" He asked.

"I'm working the lunch rush."

"You gotta work?" Soda's tone sounded disappointed.

"Linda's working." I told him.

"Oh, I haven't come by to see her in a while!" Soda laughed. She had such a crush on Soda it was insane.

I smiled as I folded up the last bit of laundry before leaving to change. Soda followed me out of my room.

I came out of the bathroom hair fixed, make up on, and uniform in place.

"Darry, do you want me to drive, or do you need the truck?" I asked walking into the kitchen where he was fiddling with something on the stove.

"When do you get off?" He asked me.

"Three."

"You can drive. Be careful." He threw me the keys.

I was off. I got to work in less than ten minutes. It was an easy drive. The diner wasn't busy yet. There was a down time from when breakfast left before the lunch came.

"She's here!" LInda sang like I had just come home from war. "I have just so much to tell you!"

"You're early," the boss noticed walking by, "Linda, learn from her!"

"So my mom and I really got into it on tuesday," She started telling me a story and continued to tell it as the boss walked over and informed me of what tables I needed to take care of and her handing me a menue. She stopped only when I was walking away to get someones glass and continued to tell it when I was refilling the glass.

"My mom was like you can't just come and go as you want! I was like I'm going to work you can't stop me," Linda then stopped when I walked away to return the drink.

It stayed like that for an other hour or so. Weren't too many orders just little things here and there. I heard a lot of a story from Linda that really had no point.

Business was beginning to pick up a bit and I walked over to wait on a man that came in often.

"Good morning sir, it's good to see you again," I smiled as I walked over to him.

"Well hello Marry, looking as beautiful as ever!" He compliment. He was hands down the nicest man ever.

"How are you doing today?" I asked him. He was one of the few people I asked and actually cared about their response.

"Its been a fine day." He told me

" Well, I'm glad to hear that. Will it be your usual today?," I asked him and waited for his answer.

"You know me too well." he laughed.

I walked back to the kitchen rang the bell and yelled the order. I was pouring his tea as an unexpected unwelcome visitor walked in.

"I believe I heard you say more to that man than you have said to me in my whole life." He sat in a chair at the counter.

"Are you here to order, or just to make my life more complicated." I responded in a hushed tone leaving to return the older man's drink.

"You put all that make up on, wear the short skirt, and put your hair like that I'm sure you get all the tips." He looked at me in a weird way.

If we were at home I would have ignored him and walked away, but my job was a stake her.

"Either order or get the hell out Winston," I put him foot down.

A/N I hope you liked it, I have a plan on where I think this story should go but feed back is always helpful.


	2. Chapter 2

Man she could be so fiery. It's strange because everyone acts like she's a mute child . I knew better. Clearly they had not seen her at work. She was a completely different person. Obviously you had to be if you were going to get the tips.

I still of course would have more than just a little fun making fun her face. Her face could turn three different shades of red. Especially when the place got really crowded and I was making fun of her.

Steve always had fun watching and even good ole Tow-bit would pitch in

Soda and Darry never came by. Soda would if the rest of us insisted.

"I don't appreciate the service here blondie." I laughed leaning more on the table letting her know I wasn't going anywhere.

"What'll it be Dallas." She said monotone.

"I don't know baby, what if i wanted you."?" I winked quietly.

"You don't see me on the menu do you?" She slightly played along.

"I don't know, can you make me a special order?"

"Yeah, I'll be sure to get you something extra special." She returned my wink and went back to the kitchen.

"I'd figure she was asking for her lunch break and we'd go take a smoke break, even when I pissed her off she' still go for a smoke.

What can I say its not even 2:00 yet, there's no real action going on.

She came back out ten minutes or so later and dropped a burger on to the table with so fries and left with out even saying a word.

"Guess they wouldn't let her leave,"I thought to myself The place was getting noisy and crowded, I suppose they needed her help.

I took a bite into my burger and it tasted like complete shit. I spat it out loudly all over the counter demanding water making a scene. Mary had this wide ass grin on her face looked scary like Soda's at that minute. I wanted to knock it off her face.

"You little shit!" I walked over to her. She was politely waiting an other table.

"Dirty little trick you got there." I told her getting real close to her face. I failed at trying to intimidate her.

"Get out of here Dallas." She told me again apologizing to the people she was waiting on.

"Yeah, maybe I will just go on to the Curtis house and tell them how you tried to poison me!" I threatened still steaming.

"Please do," She encouraged opening the door for me.

"Dumb broad" I yelled leaving catching everyones attention.

"Jesus Christ!" I spat on the side walk walking back to the Curtis house.

"You'll never guess who I just encountered at the diner!" I yelled walking in the Curtis house.

"I've got a pretty good guess," Soda piped up.

"Yeah your right, you sister tried to poison me!" I pulled open the fridge getting a beer.

"Being a tad dramatic aren't you Dal?" Darry walked in the room from the back of the house.

"She put all kinds of shit in my burger!" I growled at him.

"LIke what?" Johnny seemed the most interested.

"Some kind of spicy shit!" He yelled once again.

"That's hilarious! She probably learned it from me! She makes me proud!" Two-bit was cracking up in the couch.

He wasn't just laughing gently like the rest of them he was going all out hysterically.

"Doesn't sound like Marry to me!" Pony disagreed.

'You don't know her all that well." I pointed at the kid.

"You pissed her off first didn't you," Darry confirmed.

"Not too much, just a few comments that she too way to seriously." I told him going on to mumble a few more words describing Marry getting Darry in an up roar.

"Calm down Dally!" He responded not pleased with what I had been saying.

I stopped talking and had a seat next to Steve.

"Deal me in," I growled.

Looked like it was going to be a regular day, at least until the evening.

A/N Any one reading? Drop a comment, let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

"How many times am I going to have to tell you that this is a family place, Mary?" My boss scolded me. I had heard it many times.

"Sorry, sir."

"You say that ever time he comes in here, I've about had it. Control him, " he looked at me then back to the cash register.

"Order thirteen!" One of the guys from the back yelled louder than necessary.

"Hey, do you want the whole wide world to know the order's ready?" He growled from the register and I picked it up from the window and smiled sympathetically at Larry.

"Here are your burgers sir, is there anything I can get you guys?" I kneeled so I was not hovering over them. I learned that my first summer at the same eye contact level served multiple purposes. It keeps both you and the customer focused so there was less chance for a mistake in the order, and it also made the customer feel like you are able to connect more and not just as a waiter. It also brought the tips in.

They dismissed me and I went on to refill multiple glasses. I walked behind the counter and pushed the coke button.

I turn around real fast to get back to the table and come face to face with John.

"Damn it Curtis," he whispers breathing in my face.

"You're just lucky I have excellent balance, or you'd be wearing these." I did a circle and went around him.

"Here you go guys, name's Mary, just holler if you need anything." I ruffled the kid's hair handing him a straw.

Rush hour would be winding down soon and it's a good thing. I sure was ready for a break. The other waitresses had already taken a break of some sort.

One went out back to smoke, but she wouldn't be back until most of her pack was gone. Another had just come out of the storage closet with her blouse being buttoned wrong. My imagination wondered who was waiting in the closet for a clean break away. The third joined a customer at their booth flashing her long eye lashes and using the work uniforms to her advantage.

One by one customers left. I'd buss the table and put the tips in my pockets before someone else would walk in.

I was like a robot. I didn't even think any more. I'd been working here so long I just knew every thing.

"Curtis, you're off the clock!" my boss called. For once I was glad to hear him call me.

I bussed my last table took the tips and headed over to him.

He acted like he didn't know what I was standing there.

"What can I do for you today?" he asked not giving me the time of day.

"Sir, today's pay day." I told him even though I knew he knew.

"Right, here you go, " he winked at me.

I hurried out to the old truck waving to Judy who promised me she was on her last cancer stick.

My stomach growled as I put the old truck in reverse and began to tear down the dirt road.

I contemplated going home to a bunch of loud teenagers or finding my friends who would likely be hung over, whinny, barfing teenagers. It was a loose loose.

I let out a loud sigh pulling into the drive way. I buttoned my sweater higher and pulled my skirt down. The last thing I wanted was one of the guys making a fuss over me.

I pulled the screen door open and closed it slowly and gently. That door was a time bomb on when it was gonna either explode or fall off the hinges from people slamming it so hard.

"MARY!" Two-bit shouted. "I heard you tried to poison my buddy here!"

I raised one eye brow at him and rolled my eyes walking into the kitchen.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, I'll get her back." Dallas threatened me. I didn't know if he was kidding or not. I knew he'd never hurt me, but I also knew that he had no problem with pushing boundaries.

"I'll protect you Goldilocks," Two-bit sat up real tall in his chair flexing to show us him muscles.

I laughed gently walking closer to them.

I sat on the arm of Steve's as him Dallas and Steven played intensely in their card game.

"I'm kicking your ass Pepsi!" Steve hooted. Soda laughed along, but I knew he hated being beat my Steve.

I looked at Soda winked at him to get his attention. I leaned across Steve to get Two-bits beer.

"Damn it, Mary!" Steve muttered leaning back. It was too late, I had already seen his hand.

"Darry will have ass if he sees that anyway," Steve warned. I knew it wasn't for my own good. He just liked to be a pain.

"Don't get in such a hussle," I sighed standing up with the beer.

Soda's eyes followed me when I stood directly behind Steve. I showed a number of fingers for the number and did my best to act out the suite. Pony and Two-bit were laughing there asses off.

Steve was still in the dark. I pointed to my chest for a heart, made my hands into a diamond, swung like I had a golf club for club, and I was lucky he had no spades.

I then left them be and went to the kitchen.

Two-bit followed me to get an other beer out of the fridge.

"I was almost out anyway, next time we'll fight for it." He tried to sound serious, but Two-bit didn't have a serious bone in his body.

"I'll try to remember that." I pushed myself onto the counter enjoying my last few sips.

"There's a huge party at Buck's tonight," he told me looking for a bottle opener.

"Yeah, about like every other night in the week." I told him not impressed.

Two-bit almost found my lack of interest as a challenge.

"Some of Tim's boys got out. It'll get extra crazy!"

"Yeah, until the cops bust it and send all of your asses away again!" I fought back still not interested in this party.

"But then it'd be a huge party once we all got out again! It's the circle of life." Two-bit successfully found a bottle opener.

He opened an other one for me too. I thought briefly before I took a sip. I knew that Darry was around here somewhere, and I knew he wasn't pleased with the idea of me drinking. The true fact was I was almost legal anyway. Just a matter or weeks.

Six months ago right before my parents died my dad would even let me have a few sips of his ever now and then.

"I'm pretty sure Darry has a rule against us kids going to the forbidden residence of Buck." I twisted the ending of some words to keep Two-bit on his toes.

"First off, you ain't that much of a kid anymore," he paused taking a sip and joined me on the counter, "and second off, you ain't as if you haven't been there before."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "You can't keep nothing from me, you ain't as innocent as everyone thinks!" He whispered. "I saw you with a bunch of your girly friends!" He tried to refresh my memory.

"You're drunk Two," I told him leaving him alone in the kitchen.

I tapped on Darry's door waiting for a sound of acknowledgement.

"Uh yeah, come in."

I put the money from the last two weeks on him dresser, and then pilled the change up from my tips next to it.

"Thanks," he looked up from his papers.

He made it kind of uncomfortable when I gave him the money. It was almost as if he were embarrassed by the fact that I also paid some of our bills. That made no sense to me. I was the second oldest, I should be second in paying the bills, not Soda. I also had been working for a while even before mom and dad died, so I had no idea why giving Darry the money was an uncomfortable situation.

"Work go okay today?" He asked making small talk.

"Yeah, Dar. Don't worry about it. Where's Pony and Johnny?"

"They went down to the drive in and they'll make their way to the library on their way home." Darry told me

"Good, that's good," I nodded my head.

"Yeah, he was driving me crazy this morning after you left. Picking at his food, laying around, I worry about him." Darry started. I felt like the way he talked about Pony sometimes was just a habit.

"He seems pretty okay for a fourteen year old boy who lost his parents less than six months ago," I tell Darry leaving his room and going back to mine. I changed out of my clothes and sat on my bed in a huff.

I sure was glad tomorrow was Sunday. I couldn't handle school just yet. It sounded lame, but it was so much harder to get through the days. It took all of my energy.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed. Let me know what you liked, or what you would like to happen or be fixed. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

I sat on the couch watching Darry pace back and forth around the room. I couldn't tell if he were more nervous or angry.

I knew Pony was okay. He was with Johnny, nothing was going to happen to them. Together they had more brains than the rest of us combined.

I looked his direction knowing better than to say anything. When he was like this there was no right thing to say.

"If he's not back in twenty minutes, I'm calling to police." He finally spoke up.

"You know that won't help any." I disagreed.

"Then what do you recommend?" He growled at me. When I didn't respond he sat down in his chair for a few minutes, but then stood right back up. He had more energy than a kid at Halloween.

Next thing I saw was Marry walking down the hallway.

"We wake you up?" I smiled patting the seat beside me.

"No, I was studying."

"Sure you were," I laughed ruffling her hair. Sure, she was older than me, but she was tiny and her personality fit her appearances.

"I was trying."

"We were being too noisy so you decided to sleep instead? You sound just like me!" I laughed out loud. Darry almost smiled a little too.

Twenty minutes passed and Darry was close to pulling all of his hair out.

"You guys split up. He's around here somewhere. You know where he'd be more than the cops. Go find him." She suggested.

Darry thought about it for a minute before grabbing his keys.

I followed a few seconds after.

I woke up with a jerk. I was dreaming about something and my body jolted waking me with a start. I let out a sigh looking at the time.

"Oh damn," I yelled tapping Johnny as I stood up.

His yellow green eyes sparkled in the dark like a cat's eyes.

"I fell asleep!" I shouted.

"I'll say, you woke me up shouting three times!" Johnny stood up chasing after me.

"Why did you let me sleep? We were just suppose to play cards until your parents got home!" I was still frantic.

"I assumed they would have come home by now drunk and yelling," he shrugged.

"Darry's going to skin me Johnnycakes!" I shrieked.

He followed me silently. It took less than a minute to get to my house from his. It was right across the street. That's why we often heard Johnny's parents yelling.

I remember my mom use to always turn the TV up louder and make noise to shield us from what was being shelter.

Looking back on it now it wasn't so much her trying to prevent us from hearing and realizing what was going on, but more so her trying to keep us as far away from the danger as she could. I remember she would always send my dad over with cookies or with the paper to break up the fight for a little while. He would often bring Johnny home with him when he returned.

I think when my parents died it effected Johnny just as much. He no longer has a safety net. Yeah, I know anyone of us would go knocking down walls to protect him, but my dad had a way of being more subtle.

It almost seemed like Johnny's parents got even more mean since mom and dad died. I never would have thought that was possible.

"I can come it with you Pone, tell him it was my fault." Johnny offered. Good ol` Johnny always looking out for me.

"No, I'm okay. You come back when your parents get home thought okay?" I asked him stopping at the steps. He looked at me doubtfully.

"Don't look at me like that, Darry will be done letting me have it by then. I hope so anyway," I mumbled the last part. There was no reason to worry Johnny. He had enough on his plate as it was.

With that Johnny disappeared into the dark. I walked up our porch steps and saw someone with a cigarette.

"Mar?" I questioned. She didn't speak. It wasn't like her to get mad at me, but it wasn't like her to take my side either.

"I feel asleep playing cards at Johnny's house, it was a complete accident." I told her like I had rehearsed.

She still didn't speak.

"Are they here?" I asked looking in the window. When I didn't see anyone I moved on to my next question. "Are they out looking for me? Do we need to go find them and tell them I'm okay?" I was beginning to panic and she was just looking out into no where's land.

I waited on her to speak. I thought maybe she was just trying to stay calm. Maybe I upset her more than I thought.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" I yelled getting angry.

There was a final pause before she opened her mouth, "Here, you can have my cigarette."

I let out a sigh and sat on the swinging bench beside her.

"I really messed up Myra," I whispered. Myra was my dad's nick name for her. It was her name scrambled, but it meant quiet song in latin. He had read it off some advertisement and he called her that for years.

No one had said it since he died. I wondered if it was because they had forgotten or if they were still trying to forget.

"Pone, we've all done much worse." she told me and I leaned into her. It might have sounded wrong, but Mary was the closest thing I had to a mother.

She had some characteristics that mom did, but she was more a mix of both and then some extra.

We sat in silence for a little while before it ended far too quickly.

"Well there you are Pone!" Soda smiled coming over and squeezing in the middle of us both.

"I'm glad everything's okay." he draped his arm around me. If I didn't have Soda, I wouldn't have a reason to live.

"PONY!" Darry put his hand to his forehead letting out a hard breath.

"Where were you!" He finished.

"After the movie and the library we went back to play cards at Johnny's." I started wondering if I should keep going or if her would get the point.

"Well," Darry motioned me to keep going.

"I fell asleep Dar, I figured that I would hear his parents come in around dinner time and we would both leave, but his parents never showed."

"You know I don't like you at Johnny's house. You also know you were suppose to come straight home, and you also know that you are to call if you are going somewhere you aren't suppose to be , or if you end up someplace you shouldn't be." Darry was mad, but he wasn't full out yelling. I could tell he was tired. I guess he really had been looking all over.

Although, if I were him, one of the first places I would have looked for me would have been at Johnny's

"You gotta let me know where you are! What if the state would have come by and I wouldn't have been able to tell them where you were! It would have made me look so bad!" He scolded me. His last sentence ate at me like a dog and his bone.

"I didn't mean to make you look bad," I responded partly because I was being a smart aleck and the other part was because he was being rude.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Darry pointed his finger at me.

"Dar, we're all really tired and we're not gonna get anywhere tonight, lets talk about it at breakfast okay?" Soda suggested.

"Don't make any plans for tomorrow Ponyboy," Darry added slyly before leaving the porch.

"He has to be the bad cop Pone, its part of his job." Marry tried to comfort me.

"It was an accident," I told them both sadly. I wasn't too upset about being stuck at home, I was more upset that Darry made it a big deal.

A/N I hope that I fixed the problem with the changes in characters.

I googled to find common punishments in the 60's and 70's to get some idea's on what would be understandable, but I had a hard time finding one.

Obviously he is not going to spank Pony, but I also didn't know is "Grounding" was the right term for being on house arrest.

Suggestions, comments, concerns?


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up before the sun did. I had no idea what the time was. The last time I had a working clock was weeks ago before the boys started wresting and knocked it off my night stand. It was either the middle of the night and I just thought I had fallen asleep, or it was just too early for the sun. I thought about it for a few minutes, but gave up and began to study instead.

I often envied Soda for not having to deal with the whole school shit that I had to. It wasn't like I was going to go to college anyway. I wasn't that smart. I studied my brains out for the sorry grades that I made. I knew my job at the Diner would more than likely be my job for a long long time.

I put my biology text book on the bottom. I was about done with that class. It was a pure pain in the ass.

I read through several chapters of the book assigned for English. I had already read it but remembering every detail for a test required more than just skimming the pages. Plus, I had to write this essay on how the book related to my life. That had to be the most annoying topic ever. Teachers are convinced that every piece of literature can be related to our lives. They couldn't be more wrong. So, basically they were encouraging me to make a paper off of all lies. If I was to have wrote the paper based off the truth I would have for sure failed, so I truly had no option but to lie.

The character in the novel was a dumb ass kid who got everything he deserved. My life was the complete opposite. I didn't deserve any of the shit that happened.

I rubbed my eyes before I started writing. I wrote a few sentences before scribbling it out and throwing it towards the waste basket. I repeated this process several times before I began to get frustrated. I threw more than just my balled up paper at the waste basket. I ended up throwing my book, pencil, and paper at the trash can.

Of course I wasn't thinking of my actions when I threw it. The fact that it was early and silent didn't stop me from making a racket.

I held my breath waiting to hear people shuffling around the house looking to see what the noise was coming from. When no one came I picked back up my pen and began to write again.

Sure enough, like I had expected I heard someone going towards the bathroom, my money was on Darry. I tried to focus on my paper, because as soon as Darry came back here to see why I was awake my day would all go down hill.

There was a gentle tap on my door before it opened all the way.

"Why are you up? It's not even 2:00," Pony rubbed his eyes due to the light of my room.

"Did I wake you?" I asked tentatively. It was hard for him to get good sleep, I'd known that for awhile. Even when he didn't have dreams he would wake up in all hours of the night.

"No, I was about up anyway." He told me. I had a feeling he was lying.

"You can come in, I promise I'll give you peace." I told him patting the bed beside me.

It didn't take him long to get in the bed and under the covers.

My room was small but cozy. After Darry was born my parents had a room all set for him and everything perfect. Mom was picky that way. She made the most of everything. Then when they had me, a girl, they put me in the other spare bedroom. Next was Soda, they moved him in with Darry and I kept my room, but only until Pony came. Mom assumed Pony would be a girl, she said that she always just assumed she would have two girls and two boys, but when they had Pony they ended up doing some rearranging. Soda moved out of Darry's room and into my old room with Pony. Dad then expanded the closet we had in the far end of the house. It was just big enough for a bed and dresser literally. I didn't have a closet or a desk, but it wasn't a problem. Dad always told me that if I ever insisted and the time was right, he would see what he could do about knocking out a wall. It wasn't like I spent much time in my room when my parents were alive anyway, so it never mattered.

"What are you working on?" Pony asked me sleepily.

"Nothing too important. Am I keeping you up?" I smiled gently looking at him. He was a down right cute 14-year-old. I knew Pony sometimes got discouraged by his appearances. Soda certainly was the eye catcher of the family, but not just that, Darry had all the muscles and the size Pony clearly wanted.

"No," he whispered fighting his closing eyes. I waited until I heard his steady breath before I began to write again.

I wrote several words on the page, but this time I refused to start over. I was getting annoyed with my work not being good enough, so I came to the decision that I didn't care and all I wanted to do was to finish.

It took me a while and I kept getting paper cuts from trying to turn the pages ever so quietly. Those little paper cuts could hurt like the devil. The tiniest little things, have such a huge pain.

It was getting decently bright out, I had assumed it was after 3:00 when I finished. I quietly put it down, but I decided I was done with homework for the weekend. Most kids didn't even do there's. I just always did because it was easier to do than no to sometimes.

Pony was always able to entertain himself by reading, writing, or drawing, but I could do none of the above.

I wasn't able to sit still like Pony. I began to fidget. I was afraid I would wake Pony moving around as much as I was so, I decided to get up.

I walked to the kitchen being as quiet as possible. I turned on the coffee pot, and waited on our porch in the front.

I thought briefly about smoking. I didn't do it often, I thought it made a girl look trashy, but I was so damn tired. If it wasn't so early I'd take a beer, but people look at you funny when you drink before it's noon. Unless, of course, you are Two-bit, and he's use to people looking at him funny.

My head had that annoying, dull, continuous, pain that made my eyes hurt.

I kept a gentle glaze at Johnny's house across the way. It seemed so quiet and normal. It looked normal for a house over here. Sure, there were leaves and weeds everywhere, and maybe the bushes needed to be trimmed, but it wasn't like the house looked like it was going to fall over. Well, I couldn't see much other than darkness then, but I had seen it millions of times.

Our yard hadn't been messed with since mom and dad died. It was mom's thing. She would garden for hours.

I let out a long sigh thinking about my mom, god bless her soul. I closed my eyes and massaged the side of my head. If you looked hard enough everything would remind you of someone you had lost. I rubbed my eyes wishing my coffee would hurry up.

I went into the kitchen to get my coffee when the front door flew open slamming into the wall. My coffee poured all over my arm hurting like a hand on a stove. I turned around like a hot potato. Who the hell would come over at 3:00 in the morning?

"Hurry the hell up, Two-bit, he ain't got all day!" Dallas yelled not even trying to keep it down. I felt my stomach turn. Something wasn't right. With that someone turned on the light

My mouth dropped open and I dropped the coffee pot onto the counter. I'd never seen anyone look like this before.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I changed one thing. Earlier in this Fanfic I said the parents died 4 months ago. I changed it to two. It will become clearer why later. Basically I still want Soda, Pony, Darry, and Marry to still be morning in a way. Also, I do need advise. So, Pony runs track, I know, but I wanted Mary to take part in some sport. Title XI was not made until 1972, so I do not believe there would have been an opportunity for her to take part in sports. Is that right, or am I mistaken? Also, it is Mary, with one R. I did not mean to ever spell her name with two, I do apologize.

"You gonna stand here all day or are you gonna do something!" Dallas growled flopping him down on the couch not so gently.

My heart began racing as I pulled open our kitchen drawer and grabbing all the medical supplies we had.

He was shaking something awful I could see it out of the corner of my eye, Dallas was pacing around as if her were gonna wear holes in the floor. He looked mad enough to punch someone's face in.

"Grab me some water Two," I ordered kneeling to his level.

"Hey, Johnny Cakes, you're gonna be just fine,okay? You're gonna be just fine." I repeated as I looked him over.

I touched his face gently, and he flinched something awful.

"I need a wet warm cloth, two of them." I told them as I smiled gently towards Johnny the best I could.

"I'm going to kill those bastards!" Steve yelled sharply as I turned the lamp on.

I rubbed the cloth across a small section of his face. He fought his emotions the best he could, but I knew it wouldn't be much longer.

I continued to get most the dirt and sweat off his face, but the gash on his forehead continued to bleed something awful. I put a cloth and wrapped it in ice.

"Here, hold this." I told Johnny. He was physically incapable of holding anything. It took all he had to sit up.

"I got it man," Pony came out of know where with Soda and Darry behind him.

"What happened, tell me it wasn't his parents!" Darry put his hands on his hips.

"Some sorry ass socs thought it would be a good idea to lay a hand on him! I swear I will do worse to those ass holes when I find them." Dallas punched our wall. I was sure he had put a whole in our wall, but I wasn't about to look.

I lifted his shirt and I wanted to puke, "We need to take this off," I looked back to Darry. He was the only one who looked like they weren't going to either cry or kill someone.

Johnny let out a cry when we pulled his shoulder. We both dropped it quickly. He was balling now, can't say I blame the kid at all. He looked like hell. When he couldn't control himself any longer he was almost screaming continuously.

"Two-bit, do you have your switch blade?" I looked at him. Two- bit didn't make some smart ass comment or anything, that's how I knew they were all scared.

I cut his shirt down the middle then down the sleeves pulling it off easier.

"I swear to god," Steve's jaw dropped.

"Someone's going to pay!" Dallas left out of the front door.

"Stop him from doing something that will get him in trouble," Darry looked at Soda. Soda looked like he was about to pass out.

"Go with him, Steve," Darry ordered.

"These ribs are definitely broken, they could have punctured something right?" I asked Darry.

"His head won't stop bleeding, I'm worried about his shoulder, not to mention his ribs." I told Darry.

"We're gonna take you to the hospital little buddy," Darry sighed.

"NO!" Johnny yelled clear as day. Until this point he had only been mumbling, but he obviously didn't want to go to the hospital.

"There's gotta be something else you can do!" Two-bit took Dallas' role of pacing.

"I can do the stitches," Darry told me "Can you do the rest?" He asked.

"I'll do everything I can." With that I took the cloth and ran it across Johnny's stomach. He began to cry again. I kept going. His stomach was mostly bruised. It wasn't bloody and cut up like his face, but how much has was screaming when I them I could safely assume one or several were broken.

Darry pulled the coffee table closer to the couch after sterilizing the needle. I didn't have the faintest idea on how stitches were done.

"Johnny, this is going to hurt," Darry told him brushing the hair out of his face.

Johnny screamed bloody murder when Darry started.

"Mary, Mary!" He yelled my name between uncontrollable sobs.

"Two, ice," I ordered dropping the cloth onto the floor. I had done about all I could to his stomach. Only ice could cause any relief.

I held Johnny's hand soothing him.

"This is all the ice Mar." Two-bit ran over to me.

"That's not enough, get more. Key's are on the counter, get drugs too." Darry called.

"He gonna be okay Mar?" Pony asked me. I could see the fear in his eyes.

"Yeah, buddy, he's gonna be just fine. Take a smoke break on the porch, I'm gonna need your hands when Two-bit comes back, okay?"

I knew Pony would still be able to hear the screams and cries from the porch, but it would be better than seeing his best friend in the condition that he was in.

"Alright, only a few more. You with me Johnny?" Darry asked.

I held his hand for the last few stitches, when he was done I placed a cold cloth on his head whispering, "You rest now, okay? I'll get you ice soon. No one can hurt you anymore. No one can hurt you."

Pony came in and sat in my dad's old arm chair. He looked like he had just seen a ghost.

Darry was in the kitchen cleaning the coffee I had spilt on the ground and cabinet.

Two- bit came in quickly dropping the ice on the table. I got up from sitting on the floor next to Johnny. Darry helped me wrap his ribs with ice. I told myself that we were helping Johnny even if I wasn't sure.

"Drink this," Darry handed him 4 aspirins and water.

"Drastic times call for drastic measures. Never take this much," He pointed at Pony. Pony was bad about taking more than he should in one sitting.

Johnny had a hard time swallowing the pills, but after he did he was soon asleep.

"I slipped a sleeping pill in there." Darry answered my question as he handed me coffee.

"Oh," I nodded.

The front door opened slowly, I looked up to see Soda.

"Steve's staying with him at Buck's, but I have to work for him tomorrow." Soda came in looking tired.

He made a beeline to the coffee pot.

"Did you guys get to him soon enough?" Darry grabbed Soda's shoulder.

"It took forever! Finally found him with Tim." Soda tried to move around Darry.

"You take Pony and you guys go back to bed. You have to work tomorrow, and Pony has all kinds of homework he hasn't started. He'll be sleeping for hours anyway." Darry left little room for debate.

"Come on Pone," Soda sighed.

"It's not much use telling you to go to bed is it Mar?" He looked at me from across the room.

I smiled not responding.

"Why were you up anyway when they came in, in the first place?"

I shrugged, he wouldn't understand if I told him that it was because I wasn't tired, or because I had homework to do.

He sat down in my dad's old chair where Pony had been earlier.

"Where'd you learn how to do all that?" Darry pointed to me while I was changing the cold cloth on his head.

"Lots of practice, you boys never stay out of trouble." I said and he chuckled. He had an old man chuckle. He wouldn't full out laugh, but he wouldn't resist the chance to express excitement.

I missed Darry's smile. I believed almost two months hit Darry the hardest. He's the one who gave up college life to become a working parent of three. It takes a pretty good guy to do that. I saw the look on his face when his football buddies went off to college living the dream. As if loosing our parents wasn't enough, he lost what he had worked so hard for all high school. Dad taught him everything he ever knew. He was so proud when Darry got the scholarship to play.

I was surprised Dad left Darry as our guardian in his will. I guess the thought of us being split up and sent to god knows where was a worse fear then Darry not playing ball. Dad wanted Darry to play football more than anything! It was all he ever talked about.

"Mar," Darry caught my attention.

"You did good." He nodded at me, he had a way of sensing when any of us were stressing about something. I let out a breath I had been holding.

I sat on the floor leaned up against the couch looking at Darry.

I was trying to remember if he looked tougher and stronger because he was doing more physical labor, or if it was because he had over come so much recently.

I'd seen him cry only a handful of times in my life.

When he was at football four or five years ago he was in the field playing and he was tackled. His bone was sticking out of his arm. He didn't cry though, until we got to the emergency room and the doctor told him he would be sidelined the whole season. When we got back into the car I saw a tear roll down his face. Several months later a girl he was down right crazy about turned him down cold. I heard him crying when he was talking to my dad. Since then though, he cried the night before the funeral, after the funeral, and I saw him in the kitchen once. Even in those instiances he wouldn't start sobbing, it would be uncontrolled rolling tears. He was always too tough or too busy to cry at times in his life when any normal person would have cried.

Soda and Pony would still cry regularly at night, but I haven't heard Darry cry in six or some weeks. He probably thought he had to hold it together for the rest of us. That might be partially true.

/ ooooooooo/ooooooo/

I worried about Marry the least out of everyone. She had a strong head on her shoulders. She was the same person today that she was seven weeks ago. It's been seven weeks since the day that ruined life as I had known it. She didn't act like her life had come to a complete end like the rest of us had at some point or an other. Even the gang expressed more emotion than she did. Including Dally!

She stepped up the most to help me out. Soda did too, but he mainly helped out Pony. Obviously that was good because Pony needed Soda. Pony was too young to loose his parents. Hell, all of us were too young to loose our parents. What ever helped him with the process I was willing to give him. Soda was the one he needed.

Soda had Sandy and Steve he didn't need to lean on me. He made it through the days alright. Marry had many friends at school, or at least she did when I was there at the same time as her. She was nice to everyone, didn't judge people like the rest of us did. She was a sophomore when I graduated. Her and Angela Shepard were close friends the last time I checked, which unfortunately was a long time ago.

Two-bit palled around with her a lot from where I was standing. Maybe more than he should. Should I be concerned? I stopped being the protective of who she dated after she broke up with some sorry guy he made fun on Pony regularly a while back. When she found out he was gone like a freight train. Since then, I had no doubt that she could take care of herself. The two year age gap between Mary and I never seemed like much. She was mature for her age, and until almost two months ago I was immature for my age.

A/n Let me know what you think! Suggestions would help me out a ton! Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

I looked up and saw Darry dosing out. I didn't blame him. I'd be concerned if he had to work tomorrow.

I guessed Two-bit would miss school next week to take care of Johnny. It wasn't like he was going to get better by tomorrow. In fact, when he woke up, I knew he would hurt like hell.

I heard some unsettled movement around In Pony and Soda's room. Pony often had troubles sleeping, but it wasn't all too often. It wouldn't surprise me if he had a nightmare after seeing his best buddy in the conditions he was in.

I went to the bathroom and told myself that Pony would go to sleep on his own, but when I left the bathroom I heard the same noise.

I sighed and walked to the sink and put water in a glass. I took a long sip then walked back to their room. Sure enough the movement came from Pony's side of the bed. I walked in sat on the edge of the bed, "Pone," I whispered.

"Mary?" A confused Soda sat up.

"Soda?" I returned his confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"I came in thinking Pony was having trouble sleeping, why are you on his side of the bed?" I laughed gently

"Hell if I know, he was on this side when I came in!" Soda laughed too.

"Come on," I pulled him up and led him to my room.

"Here," I handed him the water.

"Thanks,"he smiled.

We sat their a minute with no one talking. I wasn't going to say anything, I didn't mind silence, however, Soda was the complete opposite.

He sank deeper into my bed letting out a agonizing sigh. I sat on the floor beside him laying my hair on the bed above me.

Soda began to run his fingers through my hair.

"It sure is getting long." Soda informed me.

"Too long?"

"Naw, I like a girl with long hair. Sandy's hair is long. She likes it when I play with it." He snickered.

"I'll keep it long then." I pulled my knees towards my chest.

"You should give her a chance Mar, she's something special." He let go of my hair.

"Soda, I will! I've always given the girls you date chances!" I laughed not knowing what he was implying.

"I know, it's just she's more than something special. Mar, I love her." He told me as if i didn't already know.

"She loves you too buddy," I assured him.

"Yeah, she says she does." He didn't sound too sure.

"She does," I said emphasizing on the does.

"How can you know? You've met her less than ten times." He adjusted himself to a better position.

"The way she looks at you." I told him simply.

"Alot of girls look at me Mar," he shot my idea down cold.

"She looks at you past your golden brown hair, and you dreamy eyes. She doesn't see you for what everyone else does, too bad you can't notice that yourself, it's a real shame missing out on something because you didn't see it for how it was!"

"When did you get so wise?" He asked after being quiet for a few long seconds.

"I'm your big sister, I'm suppose to be wise." I told him half serious.

"It weird you know," he started.

"What is?" I asked out of reflex.

"People assume that you are really shy and quiet," he paused again.

When I didn't respond he started back up.

"But, in reality when you do speak up, it's as if you were never quiet." Soda tried to be as poetic as he could. I knew what he meant because he was my little brother I had to always know what he meant, but most people would have gotten lost in his rambling.

We both sat in quiet for a little bit. I was beginning to think that he was asleep, but when I sat up he caught my arm.

"Mar?" He asked as I walked towards the door.

"I gotta go back to Johnny. If he wakes up he'll be in a lot of pain." I reminded him.

"Yeah, I should go back too. Pony was worried something awful about Johnny." Soda sat up as well.

"I'm up there anyway, I'll be the first to hear if he has a problem."

"I haven't seen him that shaken in a while. I didn't think he would ever go to sleep." Soda started.

"I know, I heard." I smiled.

"Do you always hear what we talk about?" He questioned half concerned half impressed.

"Usually if it's something I know you wouldn't want me to hear, I don't listen." I laughed slightly knowing that wasn't entirely the truth.

I left the room a little surprised that Soda didn't follow me out. Maybe he was more tired than we all thought he was.

It wasn't like Pony kept him up often. He didn't scream out with nightmares every night, but it a weekly thing.

I peaked my head in Pony's room before I walked back to my place on the floor in the living room.

Pony seemed sound asleep to me, but I didn't spend too much time watching.

My knees cracked as I lowered myself to the floor next to Johnny on the floor. Darry's eyes opened slightly.

"Go on to bed Mar," he tried to talk sense into me.

"You first." I challenged.

I wasn't about to budge, but I knew Darry wouldn't either. I looked at him for a long second and he returned my look.

"He's gonna sleep for hours, he needs to at least. He need to save his strength." Darry told me.

"You need to save yours too big guy." I informed him. I knew telling him that he worked too much or that he lifted too many bundles at one time was pointless. He heard it too often anyway. It wasn't that he wanted to work as much as he did or it wanted to lift so much weight, it was that it was the only way he knew how to make ends meet.

I knew it wouldn't be more than an hour or two before the sun started to lighten the sky, and the guys in this house were like roosters in times of need. Up and making noise as soon as the sun rose. Annoying as hell.

I sat on the counter in the still darkness in the kitchen when I realized the mess I made from the coffee pot earlier.

I kneeled on the ground with an old rag. I then moved to the counter then to the stove. It was hard because of the dark, I didn't even know if it even looked cleaner. I washed down the door of the fridge, the table and the chairs. I swept the open area's of the kitchen. I didn't move behind the fridge or the chairs because I didn't want to make noise.

It couldn't have been earlier than 6:00, and I was stuck wondering if making coffee would wake people up. After thinking and debating it with myself, I decided I needed coffee.

I turned on the pot and sure enough with in five minutes Darry stood up and come over to join me in the kitchen.

"Soda's has to open the place up today right?" He asked me sitting in the chair.

"Yes, sir," I mumbled grabbing a cup out of the cabinet. He never really enforced the whole yes sir, role. Only to Pony when they were really getting at it. It showed a sign of respect and when Pony got mouth and disrespectful, I guessed making him say yes sir, in a way, put Pony in his place. I mostly just did it out of routine. I poured him the first cup then waited as patiently as I could for the second cup. I finished before Darry had even started his. I then walked into the laundry room where the drity laundry had gotten ridiculously high. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed Soda's clean DX shirt, a pair of dirty pants, and one clean sock and one dirty sock. It was the best I could do.

I then walked back tot he kitchen turned on the kitchen light and got out eggs and bread. I knew the chances of Soda eating breakfast were slim, but I wanted him to have to option. As far as I knew he was still in my bed in the back. On top of everything that happened I assumed he received a decent night of sleep.

"Scrambled Dar?" I asked him.

"I can't say Im too hungry Mar," he told me. I nodded not blaming him, but I scrambled an egg just incase. I placed it in front of him as I grabbed him a piece of toast and added it to his plate. I tried to make Soda's plate into a smily face, but I knew he wouldn't eat two eggs so his smily face only had one eye. The crust of his toast made the mouth like it did almost every morning.

Darry didn't seem to notice as I walked back to my room.

"Bud," I shook him gently. "Bud, you gotta get up for work." I told him.

"Did I over sleep?" He asked me slightly panicked.

"Naw, I got you your clothes and breakfast here. You should be fine." I told him turning on the light. He shielded his eyes from the light quickly.

"What did I do to deserve you." He smiled real big moving his hand.

"I'm just adding it to the tab," I winked leaving the room so he could change. I then walked out the front door to the end of the drive way and picked up the paper. I knew Darry would want it. He never had time to read it, but on his days off it was about all he liked to do.

"I was thinking I'd drop Soda off at work, that way if there was an emergency, we'd have the truck here," I tapped Darry on the shoulder with the paper.

He nodded taking the paper.

I moved back to the laundry room and began to sort clothes into three piles. It wasn't like any of us really cared if the colors faded onto each other, but I'd rather be safe than sorry I guess. I put a load in with the soap and everything, but I didn't start it. It would for sure wake up Pony. I left a note on the washer saying do not start and I took the basket out back to grab the clean clothes off the line.

I folded them as I took them off the line. The chilly breeze was the perfect temperature. It wasn't chilly weather yet, but the mornings and evening were beginning to get down in temperature.

"You okay driving me Mar?" Soda came out back with me.

"Yeah buddy," I followed him back into the kitchen and dropped off the basket and picked up the keys.

"He was out pretty cold still, how long you think he'll be out?" Soda asked me a valid question.

"I dunno, I wouldn't think it'd be much longer. It won't be long before the sun's up and people come over to check on him. On way on an other he'll get woken up. You know even when Darry threatens to knock their heads in if they are noisy it always seems how to happen." I laughed and Soda nodded in agreement.

"Alright Mar, I'll see you tonight." He got out as I pulled into the DX.

"You here alone?" I asked a little concerned.

"Just for opening." He told me.

"You have to do all the opening by yourself?"

"It's not much!" He laughed at my expressions.

"It's hardly light out, and your here alone?"

"Only for about 30 minutes."

"Alright, well I'll be back at 5 for you." I shook my head not liking him being there alone.

A/N: I'm sure someone has advice and opinions! Let me know!


	8. Chapter 8

I dropped the keys on the table looking at Johnny, "Man, that kid can sleep." I thought to myself.

"He hasn't budged." Darry looked up from the paper. If I remembered correctly, and I was pretty sure I did, he was on the same page when I left.

I poured myself an other cup of coffee and sat on the counter leaning against the cabinet. I counted the breaths in my slow exhale. "We are all okay." I told myself. I felt gross. My hair was like a firework frozen in the explosion phase and my mascara was all under my eyes. I tried to remember why I was wearing make up. I usually wore some, but the only time I got real decked out was when I was going out with my friends. Usually when I did that a whole lot of don't ask `cause I don't remember took place.

I thought harder, the last time I really went it was-but Pony walked in breaking my focus.

"Morning Kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Darry put the paper down briefly.

"How is he?" He dodged the question. That was a Curtis thing. All questions were optional to us, even if they really weren't.

"He's still out cold. Shouldn't be long though," Darry followed him with his eyes.

"He'll be asking for you right when he wakes up. He'll need you to help keep his mind busy, you dig?" I asked him placing a plate of half cold food infront of him. I saw Darry eye me from his chair.

I knew he wanted to learn how to be close with Pony, but I also knew that Darry felt obligated to make damn sure that Pony would be the poster boy for a successful kid. Especially considering the circumstances.

"Mar, see that chair?" He asked me with a slight tone. "Then use it." He grumbled.

I resisted a smile as I jumped down and opened the fridge. I pulled out the jelly, hopefully it would make Pony eat. That could sure was scrawny.

I placed it in front of him not saying a word as I walked to the shower. I looked back at him from the door. His eyes showed the stress of the last few weeks catching up to him. Damn, he's been through hell.

I slipped my clothes off letting them hit the floor with out picking them up. I turned the water on full cold. I stepped in shivering immediately. The cold stung when it touched my skin, I was sure my skin was going to be red. Still, it made me feel good in a twisted way. There's somethings I just couldn't explain. I used the shampoo on the side of the tub and ran it through my fingers several times, but I was about ready to get out, the cold was getting uncomfortable.

I wrapped myself in a towel real tight then walked to my room. I did this everyday. My girl friends always tried to convince me to bring my clothes in the bathroom so I could change and get ready in there, but the guys needed the bathroom too. Sometimes the guys would hoot and give me a hard time, but it was less than eight steps and they certainly never saw anything.

I put on one of my skirts that I hadn't worn in a while. My father didn't like this skirt because it would ride up my butt if I even started to sit with my legs apart, however my mom would always shush him and tell him that she had much worse. It wasn't even one of my bad ones. I had tighter, and shorter skirts I wore more often than this one. I put on my white button shirt to balance it all out.

I wasn't going to bother my hair. I hadn't fixed my hair since before my parents died. My girl friends fixed it up last weekend when they forced me to go out with them, and other than that I just let it hand down.

I heard some noise from the front of the house, I assumed that it was about that time that all the boys would start to get here.

xxxxxxxxxx

So far the morning had been slow. I had two people that needed to be filled, and thats about it. I had a car that a guy said his car was making a "peculiar noise." I would have loved to know what that even meant. For me, so far the car sounded perfect. That was the highlight of my job though. People trying to explain in deep details the problems with their cars. Like I'm some doctor who can run a few test, have you pee in a cup, and prick you finger and tell you what the problem was. I leaned into the car alitte when I had a pleasant surprise.

"Morning," A gorgeous Sandy stepped out of her car.

"It is now," I smiled real big and wiped off my hands walking towards her.

"I thought you might need a pick me up," She leaned in and kissed me. Sandy wasn't exactly shy, but she liked to move slow. She never made a move, I always had to. So, I was through the roof that she was here.

"How'd you know I was here today?"I asked before kissing her again.

"Ang called me and told me, then I called Evie to tell her. You know how she gets when she's left out of the loop," She explained leaning closer into me. I kissed her down her neck brushing her hair back.

"Where's your boss?" She asked but didn't pull back.

"Won't be here for hours," I moved lower down her neck. I waited her to tense up, or ask me to stop put she didn't.

I looked at her and cocked an eye brow like I commonly do. She gave me her deadly smile turning me on even more, and I didn't think that was possible.

"Travis!" I yelled.

"What man?" He called from the back.

"Stay up front for a while man, okay?"

"Okay." He shouted back to me. Man I liked working with him.

My arm was twisted behind me pulling her close as we walked around the long way. I stopped half way and picked her up kissing her with out letting up.

When we got back to back I let up to see if she changed her mind, but to my surprise she pulled her arms around my neck and started playing with the button on my shirt.

It was like a junk yard back there. Mostly cars and trucks we used for parts. I spotted an old ford and pulled down the hatchet.

I picked her up and sat on it kissing her.

She smiled and unbuttoned my shirt. The unattractive blue DX shirt hit the ground like yesterday's news. She kneeled pulling my undershirt off me and dropping it the same way. Next thing I knew I was in the truck on top of her.

"Sandy," I hesitated.

"Soda, don't," She leaned up and gave me a long kiss.

She laid back down starting to take off a her pink blouse. Only a fool would let her take it off her self. We laid skin on skin perfectly happy for a long time.

I felt her reach for my belt buckle and my pants lost that battle real quick.

"We don't have to do this," I told her pulling back.

"Soda, I need to tell you something." She whispered. Instincts told me to get the hell off of her. I rolled off the top an laid beside her.

She looked at me with her beautiful eyes. I didn't give a damn what Pony told me Sandy's was the face that launched a thousand ships.

She reached for my hand and melted it inside mine.

"What's eating at you?" I asked her draping an arm around her.

"Soda," she paused.

"You can tell me anything, it won't change nothing." I promised her, hoping it would be a promise I could keep.

"I love you." She sat up and looked me dead in the eyes.

My concern melted away like cotton candy on the tip of you tongue.

"Well I'll be damn, it's about time!" I looked at her beaming.

"It's because you waited until I was ready to tell you. I always loved you Curtis, I just didn't know how to tell you." She rolled on top of me.

I knew she was waiting on me to make the next move.

"Sandy, let's wait." I stroked her arm. "Let's wait until Johnny's better and let's wait until I can take you some place other than a junk yard. You deserve better than a Junk yard Sandy." I kissed her cheek as I felt her disappointment.

"I love you Sandy, and I don't want to wait either, but I want you to have the best." "I don't need anything except you. You are the best." She got back on top of me and gave me the best kiss. I did the rest of the work from that point on. It wasn't like I was an expert, but I knew she liked it when I look charge. The way our bodies connected was unreal. I only hoped she enjoyed it as much as I did.

When we were done we both laid there beside each other. My arm was around her. Her hand was on my stomach. Neither of us moved for a long time.

"I better get back, wouldn't want anyone coming back her looking for us." I winked at her.

She blushed cutely. I helped her get her clothes, and turned around incase she was suddenly bashful.

When I heard her jump down from the truck, I reached for her hand.

We both walked back speechless to the front of the DX.

There was a customer or two waiting, but nothing crazy.

"You better get over there and save the day." She pointed.

"Yeah, I guess." I smiled gently.

"I'll come by tonight to see about Johnny, okay?" She kept her gaze away.

"Yeah, he'd like that." I held both her hands.

"Alright then, I'll see you then." She let go.

"Sandy, we're okay. I love you." I told her.

"I love you too." She smiled real cute and got in her car.


	9. Chapter 9

I really needed a smoke and on an ordinary day I would just open my window and lean out of it. Darry would still smell the smoke and tell me to go outside, but usually by that point I had gotten the fix that I needed, but today I decided to walk outside.

"Mary!" Two-bit stood up from his chair coming forward.

I looked at him skeptically, but decided not to be rude. Guess I was in a considerate mood.

The smell of cheap booze and sweat made me scrunch up my face real tight. I knew what Two-bit did last night.

"Aren't you dolled up?" He questioned squinting his eyes and placing an arm on my shoulder.

"What'd you get into last night?" I whispered as he draped his arm over my shoulder and followed me into the kitchen. I poured an other cup off coffee and Two-bit was still hanging on to my shoulder.

"You're just jealous because your girly friends were there and you weren't!" he returned a whisper. "looked like they were having a hell of a good time!" His comment took me by surprise. I mean sure, my friends went out last night I expected them to, but none of them even mentioned it to me. That was unlike them.

Two-bit continued to snicker "Ass hole," I pushed his arm off my shoulder and elbowed him in the ribs hard enough to make him loose his balance and step back into the wall, Even if he was drunk it was still a fair shove.

Darry looked up to see what was going on, but I was already outside and on the porch by then.

My plan was to make the cup of coffee and cigarettes last long enough so that when I finished I could get a beer and not have people look at me funny.

There was something about the last few weeks that just made me want to smoke more often. It was like I was justifying smoking because of the circumstances I was under. Which makes since. My parents died tragically, my little brother's been going through hell, my oldest brother won't admit he's going through hell, but he is, and a dear friend that is like the glue to our relationships is in a lifeless form on my sofa! So, yeah, I didn't feel too bad smoking that cigarette!

My mind began to unwind as I sipped coffee and took a puff of my weed.

"Interesting combination you got there," Steve opened the gate the the front yard and walked towards the porch.

"How is he?" Dallas asked. I knew nothing else was on his mind.

"So far so good. He's out cold," I informed him.

Dallas stepped over me and went inside the house. Even if I wanted to I couldn't stop him. Steve sat on the step a few down from me.

He had bags under his eyes you could drive a truck through. I knew being on Dally duty must have been a pain in the ass.

I looked down at my pack of cigarettes, I only had one left. I silently contemplated smoking it, but I knew Steve was in a worse place then me.

I took the pack and tapped him on the shoulder with it. He looked at me first irritated, but then realized what I was doing. He took it looking at me and nodded.

"How'd Soda get to work?" Steve asked noticing the truck was still there.

"I dropped him."

"Did he sleep at all last night, boss man gets mad when we come in tired."

"Bet he got more than you," I told him truthfully.

"Wouldn't take much," He laughed followed my a long inhale. I was near done with my smoke, but I had this feeling that Steve was about to say something.

"I wanted to go with Dallas last night take care of those bastards who did that to Johnny, but instead I stopped him! I had to trick him in to going to Buck's then once we got there I had to beg Buck and Tim to help me keep Dallas at Bucks! Then, I get here and the kid looks like hell, and it's like no big deal!" Steve ranted standing up and walking back and forth.

I thought for a second what I was suppose to say. I could have told him that Johnny was going to be okay, but he already knew that. If Darry wasn't sure he was fine he'd be in a hospital. I also considered telling him that beating up the sons of bitches who did this would only make things worse, but that was a lie. It would at least make them feel better for a little while. Then, I considered telling him that at the right time they would get their revenge, but then Steve would just snicker saying "there never is a wrong time to put the socs in their place." So, I was at a loss. I was not one for making people feel better.

"Who did it?" I decided was a safe question.

"Bob, and his bunch of babies! Jumping a kid who could pass as an 8-year old, all alone, what's wrong with those sick bastards!"

"What'd Tim have to say last night?" Tim was a hard ass and everything, but considering the circumstances I was sure that Tim was livid just like the rest of them.

"He said he'd do what ever we wanted. He'd stay out if we wanted or beat the living hell out of who ever we wanted." Steven flickered his weed sitting back down.

"Hm, that could come in handy." I laughed gently.

"Yeah, sure, like any body ever give you a hard time, Ms. Perfect!" Steve nudged my arm gently smiling.

There were few people I thought that Tim would do that for. Johnny, Ponyboy, and maybe,maybe Soda, but the rest of them Tim would have been equally upset that they were alone, at night, with out at least a switch blade. But, Johnny was smaller and shy. He never did a damn thing to anyone. Sick bastards.

We heard commotion from in the house, Steve got up like a hot potato being passed and shot into the house.

"Morning Johnny," Darry was kneeling beside Johnny when we walked in. Pony was practically in Darry's lap he was so afraid. Two-bit was still in the arm chair, but his eyes were fixed on Johnny as if he had x-ray vision. Dallas was leaned up against the wall watching everything and everyone. Steve flew in and got near Johnny on the couch.

"How are you feeling pal?" Steve asked sincerely. Johnny didn't respond. He just kept blinking his eyes. I could tell he was tired still.

"Don't worry kid, who ever did this, they will pay!" I didn't even have to look up to know that, that was Dallas.

"You remember what happened last night?" Darry kept his voice quiet.

When he didn't answer this time Pony got ancy, "What's wrong with him Dar, why won't he talk!"

"He's tired and in pain. He probably can't even think straight right now. Let's give him space. Why don't you grab him some more pain pills and water Pone?" Darry suggested hinting for everyone to back up.

"I'll be back kid, I've got somethings to take care of," He had this look on his face that meant nothing good.

"I'll help, Two-bit piped in." Considering Two-bit's condition I had the feeling he wouldn't be much help.

Steve took Two-bit's seat, but he continued to look in Johnny's direction.

I watched as Pony walked over to Johnny and put the medicine on the coffee table, "I can read to you later Johnny, if you want me to I mean." I thought it was a sweet gesture. Pony was offering to help in the only way he really knew how to.

"Yeah,kid,he really wants to hear a story right now. He has bigger things on his mind!" Steve shot that idea down.

Sometimes I didn't get how Steve could be so cold. He didn't see the sweet things in life, the little things that made a huge difference.

It didn't take long for Johnny to fall back asleep, the pain pills were still on the table with the untouched water.

"When do you think he'll feel better Dar?" Pony asked looking at the blank TV.

"Only time will tell, little man." Darry answered from the kitchen table. He had been going through the mail from the last few days. He sorted the letters and then one by one opened them. Usually by the last few he would get edgy, so I always advised people to keep their distance.

I could see Steve beginning to fidget. Just looking at him really made me wanna smoke. Too bad I gave him my last one.

"I can't just sit here. It's like waiting around in the hospital for someone to die!" He barked standing up and leaving.

"For once I'm glad Soda's at the DX and not out there with those three hot heads looking for trouble." Darry watched the direction Steve left.

"How can you not want who ever did this to him to pay!" Pony spoke up in a way i hadn't heard in a while.

"You can't just go and beat the living day lights out of who ever you think MAY have done this!" Darry looked up from his letter, but only to look right back down.

"If it would have been five weeks ago, three days, six hours ago you would be out there with them no questions asked!" Pony fought back. I couldn't say a little part of me wasn't proud of him just then. Standing up for himself, that was a good thing for him.

"Watch your tone Pony," Darry sushed, "Things have changed since then Ponyboy, the sooner you realize that the better."

"Socs still make lives living hell everyday, they still jump innocent people beating them to a bloody pulp, the police still don't do shit, so Darry the only thing that has changed is that you don't want to do anything about it either!" Pony fought back again. Man, the guts of that kid grew almost over night. It was an over due argument though. I knew Darry being the head of the house and him having the right to put his foot down and be the bad cop would piss Pony over the edge. But, just because I knew that didn't mean Darry did.

"You have no right to talk to me that way!" Darry stood up from his chair. "I realize you are tired Ponyboy, but that does not excuse your childish actions. Knock it off!"

"Last time I checked I was a child! So's Soda, but he doesn't get to act like one because he works, Mary's a child too, but she doesn't get to act like one either because she's always had a million things to do at one time, and Darry you are still a child too and you forget that between working and everything else!" Pony made a weak argument and I could see Darry's anger building from across the room.

"You're right, we've all grown up a lot the last few weeks, but you've still got a long way to go!" Darry tried to keep his tone low, but we all knew that wouldn't last long.

"Darry!" Pony started to yell, but Darry cut him off.

"You want to act like a child, fine, be treated like one. Go to your room until you can calm down and apologize." Darry gave him a hard stare.

"You've got to be kidding," Pony had fury in his eyes.

"Not one bit. Go on, before I bring out the belt, that's how I was disciplined when I was a kid." Darry pulled his shirt up showing his belt. I couldn't for the life of me tell if Darry was kidding just then or not.

Pony stormed out of the room and slammed his door hard. That was like the fire to the dynamite for Darry.

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis!" Darry yelled storming over to Pony's door the same way Pony had moments earlier.

"Open this door this instant or I swear I will break it down and give it to you twice as hard!" Darry threatened. I don't think I had ever heard such anger coming out of Darry's mouth before.

Pony must have sensed it to because the door opened.

"I have no idea where you could have possible gotten so much disrespect because Soda, Mary, or I never acted like this towards mom or dad! They would have killed us!" If Darry were a tea pot he would have been steaming.

"Your not mom or dad!" Pony spat back.

"Ew, Pone." I whispered to myself. Bad call.

"You just ate my last nerve little man, drop your pants." Darry ordered.

"What?" Pony almost laughed. I wasn't sure how he didn't see that there was not a bone in Darry's body that was kidding.

"You heard me, or are you such a child you need my help?" Darry pulled his belt off his jeans in one pull. If it would have been under a different situation I would have impressed.

"Now, Ponyboy." Darry ordered holding him by the arm.

"Darry, stop!" Pony's face showed alarm.

"You stop with this bull shit. Don't you know how good you got it?" Darry used one pull and had Pony's pants past his knees. I wanted to know how he could do that!

"Oh God," I litterally but my back to the wall and prayed.

"Darry!" I heard Pony again. This time it was more of a plea. It was too late. I heard the belt followed by Pony's yelp. That was too much for me I went back into the kitchen got a beer out of the fridge and resumed my position on the counter. I hummed a little bit to myself, whistled some trying to tune them out, it failed me though.

"Please Darry!" Pony gave in, but he let out an other yelp.

"You got it easy kid, don't you see? Don't you see that you are surrounded by people that had to grow up, because they care about you! ." I heard Darry tell him, followed by the door closing. I was waiting on Darry to come back into the kitchen, but he didn't. I guessed he went to his room.

I looked across the room and I noticed Johnny just a shaking.

"Johnny," I whispered jumping off the counter I kneeled beside him on the ground.

"Here, Johnnycake," I put my hand on his pack and place the pills in his hand. He moved his hand to his mouth and I followed with the glass of water. I saw a tear stroll down Johnny's then.

"They were just getting some stuff off their chest you know? It was probably good for them." I told Johnny brushing his sweaty hair off his forehead.

"Won't be long before you need a hair cut," I smiled softly looking him in the eyes.

"You can cut it when I get better," He whispered. His voice was raspy, but I understood what he meant.

"The guys were real worried, they were dying sitting here waiting on you to get better! They all went out looking for action!" I told him as I rang out a cold cloth and put it on his forehead. He winced at first, but then his face eased.

"You rest up so when they come back you can tell them yourself that you're going to be okay. Don't worry about a thing Johnny," I whispered the last part in his ear.

I stood up and walked back to Pony's room. I tapped gently on the door, but didn't wait for a response before I walked in.

"Pone, you okay?" I stuck my head in.

"Go away," he told me with his back to me.

"You know me, I never go away." I walked in farther.

"You should."

"He's just tired, you both are Ponyboy, worried too. The feelings got ahead of you both, thats all." I sat beside him on the bed.

"I hate him." He told me plainly.

"Sure, you do right now. You're suppose to. But, time will pass, buddy. You'll both cool off and be fine. Just like a father and son Ram butting heads, they always are fine in the end right?" I draped my arm over his shoulder.

"HES not my father!" Pony pushed my arm off.

"Pony," I started.

"You didn't stop him, you just let him!" He interrupted.

"I thought the two of you should work it out, you know what I mean?"

"No, I don't. You took his side, I needed you. You said that you always had my back unconditionally. There was a condition and you didn't fix it. I hate you too. I trusted you!" he kept his back to me the whole time.

I didn't know how to respond so I just left and went back to my spot on the counter.

I watched Johnny for awhile, he had fallen back asleep and he looked as peaceful as one could expect.

"Damn it Mary, get off the counter!" Darry barked at me with a harsh tone.

"Sorry," I got down.

"I'm not playing, I won't tell you again." Darry told me.

"Work called. They need extra hands. Johnny woke up, we talked for a little while, he was in pain, I gave him something for it. He should be up for dinner, I should be home late. Don't wait up." I took a swig of my beer then walked out the front door.


	10. Chapter 10

I pulled up to work and sat in the parking lot contemplating if i wanted to go in or not. It wasn't busy so the boss wouldn't really want or need me there, but he didn't usually tell me no. I could also ask someone if they wanted me to work for them, but usually the people that worked needed their hours. I certainly didn't want to make people mad.

I let out a heavy sigh and cranked the car. I didn't know where to go. My friends were sleeping, or if they were awake I couldn't just show up. Maybe, I could, it wasn't like they would turn me away, i just didn't want to go over there and have to answer a lot of questions.

I pulled out of the parking lot and turned right. Ordinarily, I would have turned left to go back home, to the DX, or to pretty much anywhere I'd ever want or need to go. But, I didn't want to go to any of those places. I put down the windows, turned up the radio, and reached over for my beer. I really felt like Two-bit then. I didn't think that was a good thing.

I drove for a while not turning just going straight. I knew it would have been a poor decision to start making turns. I end up getting myself turned around and lost in the blink of an eye.

When I ran out of my beer I thought about ways to get a new one. It was too early to go into a bar and have a guy buy me one.

"It's not even five yet," I said to my self as I let out a sigh.

"Five!" I repeated looking at the clock again.

"Oh hell." I made a U-turn and drove like hell to the DX. I had completely forgotten about Soda.

It looked at the clock every few seconds wishing I could freeze time.

I was a solid fifteen minutes away, I wasn't gonna make it.

"If you can get rid of those girls Curtis, we can start to close." Travis yelled over to me not caring that the girls had heard him.

Good ole Travis. He was older than the other DX workers. He was in his forties, and he wasn't as good as Steve and I, but he was a big guy. He could do all the heavy work.

I waved letting Travis know that I heard him, but the girls also took the hint. They were usuals around here. Always coming by needing to be filled up. I bet that they road around all day just so they could run out of gas to get me to help them fill up.

"We'll see you around Soda." They smiled and did their little flirty wave.

"Don't you have a girlfriend son?" Larry asked as I picked up the dirty towels.

"Yes sir, and she sure does make these girls look like nothing." I assured him.

"She doesn't mind all these girls fawning over you?" He looked at me skeptically. Travis reminded me a lot of Darry, never afraid of telling you what he thought.

"She knows that I have no interest in them!" I laughed slamming the hood on a car I was giving up on for the night. Steve would have better luck with it.

"I doubt it son. No lady likes to have her man looked at and dreamed about by anyone but them. It's common sense."

"Sandy's not like that Travis." I shook my head gathering the tool box.

"I've got a few more years on you. I've dated a large pool of women. Married my high school sweet heart. She ran around on me with my best friend. I spent time for nearly killing him, or as the dumb ass fuz say, "attempted murder." I never was gonna kill that bastard.I just wanted to mess him up. I did 90 days, and was on parole for a long time kid. A long time." I watched him as he talked.

"I'm alone kid. Don't be like me. That pretty lady that came in here, the one you went out back with," he paused and winked, " Don't do nothin' to make her suspect you running around on her. You tell her everyday how you feel and maybe, if your lucky, you won't end up like me.

I didn't know if I was suppose to say thank you, shake his hand, or what. I just stood there like an idiot.

"Where's you truck today?" He changed the subject. I was thankful for him changing it.

"My sister dropped me off. She oughtta be here by now." I told him looking at my watch.

"You want a ride?"

"Naw, man, she'll be here, but thanks. I'll see ya monday." I waved. I locked up and went out and sat on a pile of tires waiting.

5:15 came and gone, I started to get impatient. I opened back up the office and went in to use the phone.

"Darry, hey," I said when he picked up. "How's Johnny doing?"

"He's up. He ate a few bites and went to the bathroom. He's in your room with Pony now." Darry told me. He sounded dead.

"Did Mary leave to get me yet?" I decided not to ask him if he was okay, I knew he wasn't and I knew he would tell me he was.

"She left to go into work around 11:00, she was still planning on picking you up. I'll call the dinner," he told me.

"No, I can call her. You've got enough on your plate. I'm sure she just had to take out the trash or something, don't sweat it!" I hoped my happy mood was contagious. I couldn't contain how happy I was with Sandy.

"Alright, I'll see you tonight."

I let out a sigh and dug Mary's work number out of my wallet.

"Thank you for calling the Dingo this is Linda, how may I help you." She said like she had millions of time.

"Linda, hey, it's Soda," I greeted.

"Soda, hello!" She almost sang. Linda had so much energy it was insane.

"How's everything going Linda?" I decided it would be polite to invest in small talk.

"Everything's great, you really ought to come down more often Soda, you're such a stranger."

"Don't I know it. Hey, Linda, is Mary there?" I was tired of being on the phone, I just wanted to get home, check on Johnny, and later see Sandy.

"No, she's off today." Linda acted completely normal.

"Right, but she came in to work the lunch rush." I spun the phone cord around my finger until the tip turned blue.

"Soda, it's Sunday, we don't open until late, and there isn't a lunch rush." She acted like I was dumb for not knowing that.

"She didn't come in today?" I clarified.

"Nope, haven't seen her since we worked together yesterday."

"Alright, well if you see her tell her I'm waiting on her!" I hung up. My mind wondered where she would have gone off to, or why she would say she was working when she wasn't.

I picked back up the phone and called Steve. I knew he would be at home sleeping for sure. He would have been tired of Darry and Pony, and he wouldn't want to be with Two-bit and Dallas, plus I had no doubt that he was exhausted.

It rang, but there was no answer. That was odd.

I was about to give up and bum a ride home from someone when I saw the old truck pull up.

She got out of the car pretty quick.

"Sorry I'm late," she said almost casually.

"No problem, your here now." I smiled and gave her a half hug. "Where were you?"

"Work needed extra hands." She told me handing me the keys.

"Really, was Linda there when you worked?" I wondered what she was hiding.

"Yeah, she came in as I left."

"That's weird right, because it's a Sunday and you aren't busy?"

"There's a church rush and I guess it was bigger than usual." She started to open the car door but hesitated when I didn't get in.

"What's going on?" Mary turned and faced me.

"You tell me?" I paused and returned her stare.

"Soda," she sighed

"Mary, I talked to Linda on the phone. She worked all day and she didn't see you."

"While we're here, Soda, we need gas." She told me changing the topic.

"No, we don't, we had half a tank yesterday." He walked around me put the keys in to look at the gage.

"What did you do all day?" He asked when he saw it.

"Soda, I went to work, but they didn't need me so I drove around until I realized that I needed to pick you up!" She pointed to her work clothes in the back seat.

"Why did you go to work if they didn't need you?" he squinted his eyes. "I'll get gas tomorrow."

"Steve, Dally, and Two-bit had come and gone. Johnny woke up and went back to sleep, laundry was done, dishes were clean. There was nothing for me to do at the house." She told me. I didn't believe her, I knew something was up.

"Just call you Super Woman." I laughed getting in the car.

There was tension as we were driving. It wasn't unusual for it to be quiet, but it was a bitter quiet.

I figured I had a few minutes to dig it out of her.

"What'd Darry do all day?"

"Sorted through mail."She told me emotionless.

"All day?"

"Pretty much."

"Sounds like he had a fun day." I tried to laugh. "What about Pony?"

"Uh, he sat with Johnny for a while, then I dunno stayed in his room." Pony stayed in his room? I doubted it. He would have been glued to Johnny's side. Unless, someone made him mad and prevented him from staying with Johnny.

"Was Pony mad at someone? Did one of the guys make fun of him?" I wasn't too worried, Pony was too sensitive. But, at the same time, he was my little brother.

"No, the guys weren't around long." She smashed her forehead against the glass window. I looked at her but decided not to speak. Is he didn't get upset by one of the guys it had to have been Darry.

"Did Darry upset Pony? Did he yell at him for something? Did they get into a fight." I could tell she was thinking over what she should say.

"I'm gonna find out anyway Mar, prepare me for how bad it's gonna be." She didn't respond. "It's pretty bad for it to run you out of the house, huh?" I put my hand on her knee. I looked at her hard as we pulled in the drive way, and I would have sworn that a tear rolled down her cheek. It could have just been the way I looked at her, but if not. Hell must have broken loose. Mary. Doesn't. Cry.

I left the Curtis' in a huff. I was pissed off, and tired. Not a good combination for me. I didn't know where the hell Dally, and Two-bit were and I certainly wasn't staying at the Curtis'. Not with Darry and the kid there, that'd be like pure torture.

I walked back to my house. I pushed the front door open to silence. That was nice. Everyone was gone. My mom wasn't there to fuss and my dad wasn't there to get mad.

I walked to my room picked out a clean set of clothes then walked to the bathroom and took a shower

. I hadn't felt so at peace in a long time. It was quiet. No one was yelling, there was no bottles breaking. I took a longer shower than usual. I didn't see the need to hurry up. Soda wouldn't be off work for an hour or so, and no one was bothering me here. I got out, dried off, and put on my clean clothes.

I realized I needed to start an other load of clothes when I put on the last of my somewhat clean clothes. I did the smell test on them before I put them on. I looked them over, and didn't see anything wrong, then I smelled them and it didn't smell like anything had died, or not recently so I figured I was good.

I opened the mirror and got out my hair grease after fixing it all up I went into the kitchen to hunt for some food.

There wasn't ever much to eat in my house. There were stale crackers, moldy bread, and what ever was in the fridge. I opened the fridge looked around in it. I decided I'd have the stale crackers I took out a beer and turned around and walked smack into my dad.

"Dad, I didn't know you were here." I looked up stunned.

"Is that what you do when I'm gone? Steal from me? My own kid, flesh and blood, steals from his old man." He took the back of the hand and slashed it across my face before I could even react. I was on the ground after loosing my balance.

"You're nothing but a lying, stealing, cheating, waste of space!" He took the bottle that I previously had in my hand and smashed it on the wall I was leaning on less than an inch from my head. The glass and beer hit my skin specifically the top of my shoulder, It felt like a razor blade slicing flesh.

"I cant even look at you!" He grabbed me and pushed me onto the table.

"What, you can't even fight off your old man?" He soccer punched me in the stomach. I thought I was going to puke right then and there. I think I would have if he would have given me a chance. He pulled me off the table and pushed me face first into the side of the fridge. I heard my nose crack. I felt the blood begin to pool.

I felt helpless with him. I could fight people bigger than him in a rumble, but I never seemed to be able to defend myself with him.

"Let this be a reminder,"he paused and back handed me before resuming, "Stay the hell away from here." He pulled me to the front door, opened it and literally kicked me out so fast that I fell down the three steps. My hands and knees were like cheese graders on the concrete. My jeans had holes in them with blood already soaking through.

I didn't have the strength to get up, but I also wasn't safe to stay put. I laid on the ground in more pain than I had been in, in a long while. Then I realized Johnny was in such worse shape. I got up and thought I was going to walk in the direction of the Curtis' but actually I stood up and puked up my guts. Usually when I puked I felt better, not today.


	11. Chapter 11

a/n I double checked this time to make sure that the change in POV were clear. I don't know why but sometimes when I put a break in there it doesn't save when I convert the document. Thanks for bearing with me. DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Outsiders.

I walked up the steps into our house pulling the door open. Darry looked up from the stove immediately. "Hey, what took you?"

"We both were running a little late, you know how it is." I bent the truth a little as Mary walked back to her room.

"How's Johnny?" I asked eagerly. I swear I was worried something awful about that kid.

"He's sleeping in your room. Pony's with him."

"Good. Pony get any sleep today? He was looking a little rough this morning." I asked trying to figure out what had previously set Mary off.

"I don't know. He's been in his room most of the day." Darry went back to cooking.

"Is everything okay?" I already knew it wasn't.

"Go ask him." His response was cold. I let out a sigh and walked into our room.

"Hey pal," I whispered when I saw Johnny asleep. Pony was at his desk reading a book I was sure he had read before.

"Hey," he looked up at me. I thought about questioning Pony and finding out what the hell was going on, but I decided that he'd been through enough.

"He talk much?" I asked clearly talking about Johnny.

"Not too much. He came in here about two or three hours ago, and I guess he's been up off and on," Pony shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll tell you one thing Pony, I need a shower. You'd think it'd be getting cooler but not today! It was hot, man, I had sweat everywhere!" I searched for clean clothes.

"Yeah, you smell." Pony smiled backing up.

"What, I smell? I don't think so!" I laughed at his face.

"Yeah, you know it's bad when I can smell it all the way over here! You better watch out you don't wanna wake Johnny! He joked.

"Want a hug?" I cocked an eye brow.

"You wouldn't," he tested me.

"I would," I assured him lunging to him. He was a fast little fellow. Out of our room like lightening!

Pony went right around the corner about the time Dally walked in with Two-bit following.

"Where's the fucking fire?" He snapped.

"Hey, Dal, I was just threatening Pony," I laughed stepping back.

"You look like hell," Dallas told me sitting down in his usual chair.

"Aw, come on Dal, don't be such a sour puss. Just because you didn't get to punch anyone's face in doesn't mean the day was a total blow, you did spend it with me!" Two-bit smiled real big and sat on the arm on Darry's chair.

"Where is he?" Dally asked as if he suddenly realized that Johnny wasn't on the couch.

"In our room, asleep," Pony piped up. Dally took his elbow and quickly knocked Two-bit off the chair before any of us could blink.

I about went through the rough laughing, Pony even laughed. Dallas just had that cold stare on his face.

"Ya'll staying for dinner? There's plenty." Darry called.

"Hey, where's Steve?" I asked preventing any chance of response to Darry's question.

"Haven't seen him." Two-bit answered.

"No one has?" I had this feeling in my gut that I couldn't just shake.

"He's a big boy," Dallas responded before I could ask if they thought we should go look for him.

"Dinner," Darry called breaking my concentration. The guys moved into the kitchen to eat, Pony was at the rear waiting on me.

"Mhm, smells good." I smiled trying to hide the feeling I had been experiencing.

"Anything smells good compared to you Pal," Two-bit punched me on the arm sending the peas I was trying to get on my plate across the room.

Everyone was on the floor laughing at how far the peas flew, except of course Darry.

"Hey, I just got those out of the can!" He had that flare in his nostrils. I could tell he was tired and pissed off.

"Sorry Dar," I still smiled, but I bent down to pick it up.

"Do us a favor, take a shower, I got it." Two-bit contiuned to laugh as he bent down next to me.

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes standing up.

"Pony, go get Mary and see if she wants to eat." Darry instructed.

I noticed Pony's hesitation, and Darry did too.

"Now," he gave him a stern glare.

"Was Pony mad at Mary? Was that even possible?" I thought to myself.

I followed a few steps behind Pony, but I made it look like I was going to the bathroom.

Pony knocked on the door and waited. Usually you just walk in after a knock. Her door was never locked. It was odd to because she had the one room that had a lock and she never locked it.

He just stood there outside her door refusing to go in. I watched to see what he was gonna do.

"Hey Pal," She smiled at him gently.

"Dinner." That was all Pony said. He was as dull and unenthusiastic as possible. He turned to leave but Mary grabbed his arm.

"Pony," she kept a gentle grip on him.

"Let go," he whispered.

"Pony, come on, you know I wouldn't have let him hurt you. It was out of my control. It was an authority thing." She pleeded.

"Get off me!" He pulled his arm back around and pushed her hard enough to cause her to loose her balance and nail her head on the wall.

That was too much for me to just stand there and watch.

"Po-" I tried but he pushed by me too. Man, that kid was fast.

"What's going on?" I asked her as the phone started to ring.

"You'll have to ask him," she told me.

"Come on, Mar," I pulled her into a hug.

"This is in between him and Darry, Soda," she told me with a sigh.

"I dunno about that, he seemed pretty peeved at you!" I gave her a squeeze as Two-bit interupeted.

"MAR-BEAR, PHONE!" he hollered making the both of our ears ring.

"Hey Mar," I told her as she started to walk towards the phone. "Incase you didn't hear, I think you have a phone call." She smile as she kept moving.

Man, she has a smile like mom.

x x x x x x x x x

"Hello?" I answered the phone with the boys all around me.

"Hey, Mar. What are you doing tonight?" Angela sounded especially excited on the other line.

"Not too much why?" I wondered what she was up to.

"The girls and I are looking for a good time. You sat out the last few times people asked where you were! Come tonight!" She almost shrieked.

"Yeah, Linda, I don't mind coming to help you with you family. It's not a problem at all."

"Oh, they are next to you. Okay, how are we gonna do this?" Angela laughed

"I can drive over probably, I'll just have to make sure." I smiled at the thought of us scheming.

"Okay, you can just come to my house and pick me up, then we'll figure out where we wanna go." She was still abnormally excited and I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting the whole story.

"Yeah, girl, I can help you with the biology assignment, thats due at school tomorrow morning." I hinted.

"No, you lost me Mar, what does tonight have to do with science?" If I could see her I would have bet money that she was rolling her eyes at me. I knew her so well it was scary.

"The assignment for school in the morning. You have to go, to turn in the assignment, right?" I tried again with a different approach.

"Yeah, worry wort, I'll get you home in one piece. You'll be in tip top shape for school in the morning." She was now making fun of me.

"I'm on my way." I hung up on her.

"What the hell was that all about?" Dallas shoved me over to get out of his view of the television.

"Dar, I'm running to Linda's, she needs my help. I'll be home late, okay?" I ignored Dallas' comment like usual.

"Not too late Mary, it's a school night," he annoyingly reminded me.

"Got it, can I have the keys Soda?" I turned around realizing he was in the shower.

"Thought you were gonna run there Mar?" Two-bit teased.I smacked him on the back of the head kidding.

"Mary, running, that'd be the day." Pony muttered from the couch. I ignored him but Darry shot him a glare, but no one else really seemed to catch on. I guess his cheap shots weren't catching people's attention.

"I can drive you Goldilocks." Two-but suggested.

"No," I responded quickly, maybe even too quickly. "I don't wanna get stranded out there too long waiting on anyone, I can just wait on Soda to give me the keys."

"Alright, your loss. Chicks dig my car." He ruffled my hair.

"Yeah, but you can't slow down, much less stop, to pick them up because your breaks are shot. So, a hot rod doesn't really do you any good does it?" I snapped at him.

"Man, she's firey tonight!" Dallas laughed from the chair. I walked to Pony's room to see if Johnny was still asleep.

I pushed the door open and looked at him, surprisingly he returned my look.

"Hey," I was relieved that he was okay,

"Hey," He responded horsely.

"You feel as bad as you look?" I asked him sitting on the corner of his bed.

"Depends on how bad I look," He tried to sit up, but let out a yelp instead.

"Easy, easy," I reminded him.

"Does it look really bad?" He asked me putting his feet on the floor with a struggle.

"It looks like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's all." I tried my best to comfort him.

"The guys all here?"

"Except Steve, we don't know where he went off to." I helped him stand up.

"I gotta go to the bathroom." He told me almost embarrassed.

I nodded and stood beside him as he walked slowly out the door.

"Well, I'll be damned. Look what the cat drug in." Two-bit stood up causing everyone to look to see what he was talking about.

"Jesus, kid," Dallas' eyes widened.

"Hey, Dal," Johnny sounded so helpless.

"Johnny," Dallas stated again.

"Now, don't fuss over me. It ain't that bad," Johnny leaned up against the wall looking like he was gonna pass out. I admired Johnny just 's parents put him through what no kid should ever go through, especially a kid as sweet, innocent, and easy going as Johnny. On top of that, my parents death put Johnny through hell just like the rest of us, if not more. My parents did their fair share of taking care of Johnny. They treated him like one of us, always. Then, as if all that isn't enough the Socs came around and messed him up real good. But Johnny didn't feel sorry for him self. He wasn't angry, or upset about what happened. He didn't want people worrying about him.

"It ain't that bad my ass, kid! Look at you!" Dallas came over beside him.

"Take it easy, Dal." Darry tried to calm him down.

"He's about to fucking pass out, he's not fine!" He didn't take Darry's advice.

"What's going on?" Soda came out of the bathroom hearing all the noise.

"Well, hi there, Johnnycakes. Good to see you up and about!" Soda's reaction was polar opposite of Dally's.

"Mind if I get in there?" Johnny tried to smile the best he could.

"Sure thing, man," Soda stepped out of the way.

"When I see those sons of bitched I swear!" Dally started.

"DId you not find them today, when you at Two-bit were looking?" Soda asked not implying anything.

"Naw, man, those cowards are hiding or some shit like that!" Two-bit shared the anger.

"They'll be at school tomorrow, right?" Soda reminded everyone.

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxxx x x x x x x x

I was on my hands and knees waiting to throw up again. That indecisive moment where you don't know if your gonna barf or if its gonna pass was always the worst. Typically, my dad didn't go at it this much. He never would leave so many visible marks. A bloody nose or, a black eye, yeah every so often, but those were easy to make up excuses for. "Oh, I slipped in the shower," or "I got elbowed playing basketball with the guys." The most common were bruised and busted ribs, or when it got colder my legs got it too. Only when I could cover them and not draw attention. I think the old man was so drunk tonight that he didn't even realize he was leaving bad marks.

I moved over a few feet and leaned up against a tree catching my breath. It was too dark to see how bad the damage was. I could feel the busted lip swelling right then, and I tasted the blood trickling down from my nose, or maybe my lip was cut too.

My head felt like it was symbols being smashed to an other one, and standing up was a total bitch.

I let out a loud grunt when I stood up. I held tight to the tree and just stood there not knowing where to go.

Usually it would be safe to go back in my place after a few hours, but I didn't feel like tonight was one of those nights.

The Curtis' was out- they already had one badly beat up kid.

If Two-bit's wasn't so far away I'd go there, but I wasn't about to walk a mile like this. I looked around, Bucks? Walking in Bucks looking like I just had it handed to me was a whole bunch of question I didn't want to answer.

"Tim's" I said aloud starting to walk towards his place. Sure he'd ask, but he wouldn't really care about the answers. For all he cares I should be able to fight back. Too bad it wasn't that simple.

I walked over to Tim's and knocked on the door. I winced when my knuckles hit the door. I guess something happened to my hand in the excitement.

"It's about time M-" Angela started when she pulled open the door. "You're not what I was expecting." She stopped herself.

"That's what they all say at first." I winked at her.

"You look like hell, what happened to you?" She ignored my comment.

"At least I have a reason for having a messed up face, what did you do to yours?" I laughed, but pain shot me when I did.

"Oh, I bet it's your charm Evie digs about you the most. You just have a way with women." She told me sarcastically.

"Shepard here?" I asked tired of games.

"Assuming you mean Tim, no, but the couch is all you, I'm going out anyway." She stepped out of the way.

"There's nothing going on tonight at Bucks if that's where you were going. Bucks not having any specials or nothin tonight, it'll be dead." I reminded her.

"Shit, are you sure?" I felt like my evening just ended, and I just saw Mary pull up.

"Yeah, it's a Sunday." I told her laying down on her couch.

"Oh shit."

"You already said that." I laughed pulling off one of my shoes.

"Mary's already here though, I had to drag her out of that house!" She confessed.

"Mary?" I seemed amazed that she would go out with Angela. Angela had a reputation a mile long.

"Hey, sorry I was late, Johnny woke up. Let's get this over with, I can't be out to late, Darry has something up his butt tonight." Mary literally ran inside. "My clothes in your room? Do I need to change?"

I honestly heard her say more faster than I had ever heard in the past. Little. innocent, shy, quiet, naive, Mary just came though the door a completely different person.

"Uh, Mar," Angela tried to get her attention.

"Steve, what are you doing here?" Her face was worth money.

"Funny, I could ask you the same thing?" I laid back down.

"Yeah," she didn't seem too worried. "So what are we doing?" She didn't seem to care too much that I was there.

"It's Sunday," Angela told me.

"Yeah, so?"

"So, nothing happens on Sundays!"

"Ang," she moaned.

"Well, now you can work your magic on Steve," Angela suggest.

"What?" They both said at the same time.

"I mean to fix his face, he had his ass kicked tonight. Dumb boys. If you aren't getting hauled in your getting beaten to a bloody pulp!" She ranted.

"I don't need help. I'm fine." Steve objected bitterly. I wasn't about to walk over there and insist on helping him.

"Have you seen yourself? Ang laughed walking towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Mary asked.

"I'm gonna go find some action!" Ang decided suddenly.

"What am I suppose to do? You dragged me over here?" Mary snapped.

"I'll come back and get you when I find action. Besides, I didn't drag you out here, I'm pretty sure you wanted out yourself, your just too kind to admit it."Ang winked at me and was gone.

"You just got ditched Goldilocks." I laughed at her.

"I'll say," she walked by me into the kitchen and came back out with two beers. She handed it to me and sat on the chair adjacent to me.

"You're not gonna ask?" I spoke after it was silent for several minutes.

"Ask what?"

"What happened? I'm sure you're dying to know." I got frustrated just talking.

"Naw, I don't really care," she shrugged her shoulders.

"You're not gonna fuss over me and insist you clean me up?"

"Why would I do that? You're a big boy." She almost laughed at my reaction which really pissed me off.

"Because you're a broad! That's what you do! Fuss over everything, and want to fix every fucking thing!" I sat up angry.

She took a sip of her beer, pressed it against her forehead then spoke, "I must not be like most broads."

a/n drop a review let me know what you liked, didn't like, or what I should change.


	12. Chapter 12

Damn straight she wasn't like most broads. There was just something about her that made her different. I had just assumed it was everything she'd been through. Two-bit really seemed to be the only one to get her to crack a smile. Evie mentioned once that I didn't give her enough credit, I guess now I know why.

"You gonna just sit there and stare at me all night?" I snapped at her.

"Until Ang comes back or it gets late." She told me not looking up from her gaze.

"How long you been getting around?" I asked her bluntly.

"What?" She looked up unamused.

"You hang around Angela, she gets around, 2+2, Goldilocks."

"You don't know what you are talking about," she assured me, but I didn't believe her.

"You think you got it all figured out, your double life you have. You're a dogooder at home, dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking, you bring home respectable grades, got a job,always staying out of the way and unnoticed, but really it's all just a cover so no one will suspect your wild nights out!" I popped her bubble.

She raised and eye brow but didn't speak, "What, you not even gonna deny it?"

"You seem to have made you mind up about me, what ever you think it is, but I'd hate to ruin your fun, so no, I won't say anything. I guess at least one of us deserves some fun." She stood up and drank the last swallow.

"What, now you leave? Good leave me alone, I need to sleep!" I called laughing.

"Here's aspirin, you look like you've been hit by a car. Lemme know the guys name, I'd love to give him flowers." She set the pills on the table and walked towards the door completely unphased by my past remarks.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise, Mary!" Curly walked in before she reached the door.

"I was just leaving." She turned away.

"Why, baby, I just got here!" He grabbed her arm.

"I need to head home, school's tomorrow, incase you forgot." She looked at him coldly.

"Baby, I can make you forget about school, like I made you forget your worries last time." He breathed down her neck.

"Back the hell up Curly, and get some damn maturity while your at it!" She pulled the door, but he pushed it back.

"Do I have to get you drunk to have a good time, because baby, we can arrange that!" He placed his hand on her back and began to lower it slowly.

"Relax, baby, lets take this to my room!" He nudged her.

"Get the hell off me, before you loose your arm." She slapped him across the face.

"You know I like it rough!" He smiled, but I had had enough. I stood up and walked over to them despite my pain.

"You can't take a hint can ya kid?" I told him.

"I dunno man, but you certainly can't take a punch." Curly tried my nerves.

"Oh, you're a funny guy." It took everything I had to keep my cool.

"If you don't mind Steve, we're kind busy here." He gave me this look that gave me the creeps.

"I don't know if you're deaf or just stupid, but she wants nothing to do with you." I stepped infront of Curly and Mary.

"Aw, isn't that cute, you want to defend her. Little news flash for ya, she doesn't need defending." He put his hand around her waist, I took my fist and hit him right across his jaw.

"You little shit!" Curly grinned. That cocky son of a bitch honestly had a grin across his face.

"Obviously you didn't learn from Daddy Dearest early tonight to watch that mouth of yours, it'll get you no where in life." I felt my fist curl I wanted to hit him again, but I knew he'd be expecting it this time.

"That's right Stevie,work on that self control." He taunted me.

"You aren't worth shit, Curly." I grabbed Mary's arm and pulled her out the door with me.

"Whoa, Mary stays, we haven't caught up in a while, if you know what I mean. She owes me." He gave her a wink that pushed my over the edge.

I lunged at him and knocked him to the floor, but once we got to the floor I was at a loss. I was too sore from earlier to do anything. Curly lit into me several good times. "It's people like you who give greasers a bad name." He continued to taunt me.

"Curly come on." Mary pleaded.

"You even have a broad pleading for you, you are pathetic." Curly said cruelly, but he didn't stop.

"That's enough, come on." Mary started again.

"Sorry you had to see me put him in his place baby," Curly took a final blow to my stomach, which was interrupted by Tim walking in.

"What the hell is going on in here!" Tim yelled.

"I was just putting a dirt bag in their place!" Curly acted like he had done no harm.

"In front of a chick? A Curtis chick on top of it? Are you stupid?" Tim pulled Curly off me in in pull.

"What the hell started this" Tim was getting angry, but he put an arm out and helped pull me up.

" I was just trying to ruffle Curtis' feathers and he couldn't take a joke, he did the first punch. He already looked like this when he got here!" Curly told his side of the story like a two year old.

"She's been through enough shit without having to deal with yours. leave her the hell alone. Come on Curtis, I'll walk you out. You crash here Steve, Curly's gonna find some place else to go tonight." He opened the door and gave Curly a shove out.

He put his hand on her back gently and she walked out.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

I put the truck in park and walked into the house. I was too damn tired to even think about what had just happened. I looked over at the clock in the kitchen and read 11:15.

Johnny shuffled around on the couch when I walked in. I tried my best to be quiet as I got the coffee ready for the morning, but some noise was inevitable.

I placed a glass of water and the bottle of aspirin on the coffee table and walked into the bathroom to shower.

My blonde hair had pretty much lost all of its curl in the hustle of the night, I'd have to fix it in the morning. I let out a sigh as I continued to stare at my reflexion. My boobs weren't big enough, by eyes weren't blue enough, my hair wasn't right in general, and my stomach wasn't flat enough; I was a mess, no wonder I couldn't get a guy for longer than a few hours.

My mom would tell me that a good guy would like me for me, and I'd have to just keep waiting until I found one, but if my mom were here, I'd tell her that I don't believe that there's one out there for me.

Soda swears his right one is Sandy, and my mom and dad liked her a whole lot. I don't know how much they would like her if they found out he wanted to marry her. Him wanting to marry her, that was new. I feel like my parents dying scared him into thinking everyone's about to die all the time. I'd never say that to him, but they've been dating for a while and I never heard him mention marriage until after they died.

"It's a bloody shame," I whispered to myself, "Every girl needs a mother." With that I started the water and washed away my emotions getting out of the shower refreshed in more than one way.

"Mary?" I heard a whisper from the couch. I froze, I didn't want to have any conversations.

I was amazed when I saw Johnny stand up and walk towards me.

"I take it you're feeling better," I looked in his direction.

"I never felt bad," I heard him snicker and realized it wasn't Johnny.

"Soda, what are you doing!" That moment when I didn't know who it was made my heart jerk.

He came up to me and put his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"What in the world is going on, Marbear?" He whispered.

"What are you doing on the couch?" I changed the subject.

"I gave Johnny our bed, I have tomorrow off, I don't really need the sleep." He continued to hug me.

"You can share my bed." I told him leading him to my room.

We both laid down and after a few minutes of moving around he draped his arm over me, "Mar, what's going on."

"Soda, I really shouldn't be the one to tell you," I whimpered.

"I agree, but noone else will and it's better that I know what I'm up against. How else will I make peace?" I couldn't see his face, but I was sure he was grinning.

"Darry said something and it set Pony off. Pony was saying some harsh stuff Darry got really mad, told Pony to watch it, he didn't, then it got physical," I told him with out taking a breath.

"It got WHAT?" he spoke louder than he should have.

"Soda, shhh," I whispered.

"Did they physically fight?" Soda stood up.

"Not exactly." I told him.

"Then what!" He was getting impatient, and I was worried he was going to wake up the whole house.

"Darry," I told him but stopped. Not only was I uncomfortable Pony might not have wanted Soda to know.

"Darry what!" Soda paced around my room.

"Soda, Pony needs to tell you, or Darry." I stopped.

"Mary, I won't tell him you told me, just tell me! What is going on!"

"Darry, whipped Pony. Like dad use to do to you guys." I let out a sigh and fell back against my pillow. I was an awful sister.

"Why? What? Are you sure?" Soda stumbled to find words. "He's not five! Oh goodness, did Pony flip out?"

"Darry said Pony was acting like a five year old so he would treat him like one." I clarified.

"Was Pony out of line?" Soda continued to walk around.

"Yeah, but he's been through so much, it's just hard for him to take authority from Darry. Just four weeks ago tomorrow, Soda, Pony worshiped Darry. Now its ,"Do your homework, take a shower, you didn't do this right, why can't you pay attention, and so on. It just a hard adjustment. They both handled it badly." I covered my face with my hands.

"What's gonna happen now?" Soda groaned and sat back down.

"You're gonna tell Pony that although what Darry did may have been out of line, he was acting childish and he needs to respect Darry, then you're gonna go tell Darry that Pony's a kid who's going through hell, he needs Darry to provide guidance, but to also be on his side." I still had my hand over my eyes.

"Why don't you tell them, I couldn't have said it better myself." Soda laid back down.

"I'd rather just stay out of the way, come on, I gotta go get an education tomorrow." I pulled the sheet back.

We were silent and I assumed Soda had fallen asleep, but he got my attention proving other wise.

"I gotta get something off my chest Mar," he rolled over and faced me.

"Okay," I waited for more.

"Today, Sandy came into work. She told me she loved me," He touched my hand under the covers. I couldn't help but smile for the guy, he's just too cute when he's happy.

"We weren't busy today at the DX so I lead her around back and one thing led to an other," he paused. "I told her we didn't have to, I was fine where we were, but she insisted. She even took charge." He stopped. I felt odd in the situation. I was his big sister, and I didn't mind talking about sex, but he was my little brother.

"You regret it?" I asked assuming that was what he was gonna say.

"No, not at all, I wanted her to be my first, but I think she regrets it."

"Why would you guess that?"

"She was suppose to come over tonight, to check on Johnny, and she never showed, called her place, her dad said she was out. I know that's not true! She can't even go out with me more than once a week during school days!" He got rattled again. I didn't know what to say. She was younger than him, it was possible she did regret it, but it wasn't like it was a one night thing

"You don't really know what happened. She could have needed to talk it over with her girlfriends, you know how girls are, seldom think for themselves. She needed to talk about it out loud to realize how good she has it. Just wait, she'll be ringing the door bell tomorrow." I hoped I was right for Soda's sake.

"Thanks Mar," he whispered and pulled me into him. I laid my head on his chest. He was too nice of a guy to be treated badly.

I slept like a log all night log. I hadn't slept like that in weeks. My alarm clock went off making Soda jump out of his skin.

"How do you wake up to that every morning?" He put the pillow over his head. I laughed and got my clothes to go change in the bathroom.

I dressed into one of my more scandal outfits. My dad always told me to pull my shirt up and to let out the skirt 'so I can breath.' My mom would always shush him and tell him I look fine.

"Here you go dad," I let out a sigh as I pulled my shirt up. I heard motion in the kitchen and walked in launching my bag onto the chair.

"Morning Mar," Darry gave me a slight smile he turned on the coffee pot.

I smiled and opened the fridge for the eggs. I could feel him watching me out of the corner of my eye.

I started to scramble Pony's egg, and make toast for Darry.

"Soda has today off, so he can hang out with Johnny, right?" Darry asked me.

"Yeah, I'll wake him before I head out." I told him as the toast popped out of the toaster.

"Good, I don't want Two-bit to stay here, not until we make sure nothings gonna happen at school. Have you heard anything from Angela or Tim?" I felt my heart drop. Did he know I was with Angela.

"You haven't talked to Tim?" I legitimately changed the subject.

"Not yet, I'll stop by on my way to work." Darry didn't even catch on. I nodded and scraped the eggs onto a plate and reached for the coffee.

"Pony, breakfast." Darry called loud enough for Pony to hear, but not loud enough to wake Johnny.

I inhaled my coffee and reached to pour more.

"That can't be healthy." Darry muttered as Pony walked in.

"Morning Pone," I smiled and pulled out the chair closest to me for him to sit in. He of course chose the seat farthest away. It was starting to get old.

Darry glanced at me, but I acted like I didn't noticed. Pony could be so immature. I reminded myself that he was only thirteen.

I leaned into the fridge to savage some food for Pony for lunch. I heard the front screen door open and I looked slightly to see if it was Steve or Two-bit.

"Morning," Steve let the door slam behind him.

Darry and Pony muttered a response and I continued to search the fridge. I really needed to go to the store.

Darry pushed in his chair and motioned it to Steve, "there's plenty of food-what the hell!" Darry started, I assumed he saw Steve's face.

"Wow Mar, you look-"Steve started making a failed attempt to change the subject.

"trashy," Pony finished catching Darry's attention.

"Pony!" Darry scolded, but I was too fed up to continue to listen. He was pushing my buttons.

"Soda wake up!" I called pulling open the blinds and cracking a window. "Breakfast's on the table, Steve just walked in, Johnny's in your room, Pony just made a remark that pissed Darry off, I didn't make Pony's lunch, and I'm working late tonight. I'll stop by the store on my way home. Keep your eye on Johnny he probably won't be able to sleep all day again." I told him then looked back to make sure he got it.

"Have a good day." He told me as he stood up.

I smiled and walked straight out the front door past Darry, Steve, and Pony.

Everyday when I left for school I left everything other than what I needed for school at home. I didn't worry about Pony mouthing off, or Darry falling off a rough, Johnny getting beat up, Dallas getting arrested, or anything. If I started thinking about all the shit they do I wouldn't make it through a while day.

I do the same things when I am at work. I see the customers as tips. I go out of my way and I am extra polite, none of which is by choice.

The guys don't know, or if they did they wouldn't get it. Being a sister to three boys and having four more float around was stressful. I liked to keep my life to myself as much as possible, because I knew what I needed to do to survive, but noone else needed to know.

I stopped at the end of out yard and let out a sigh trying to shake everything from my mind.

"Hey there pretty lady!" I heard Two-bit coming over.

I smiled, "where are ya going?" He questioned me.

"School," I responded not caring.

"What are ya doing out here, Goldilocks." He tried again.

I looked at him, like he was stupid, "going to school."

"You walking?"

"Trying," I took a few steps.

"Well wait up, I'll go give Steve my keys." Two-bit pranced into the house.

I sighed and leaned into the fence waiting for his return.

After at least ten minutes I was about to just walk ahead with out him when Two-bit came out.

"Did you see Steve's face!" He shouted.

"What about it?" I didn't know what Steve was telling people.

"What about it!" Two-bit was getting irritated with me. I didn't care I started to walk with out him.

"Wait!" He caught my arm. "What happened last night?"

"How am I suppose to know?" I nervous laughed.

"Well I know damn well you weren't with Linda!"

"What do you want Two-bit!" I match his yell.

"Did some soc do that to him!" he let go of my shoulder.

"I honestly don't know!" I stepped back.

"Honesty doesn't really fly too well with you!" He snickered. The thing with Two-bit was he was too sweet of a guy to yell and get mad. When he insulted it cut deep.

I stood looking at him with a blank expression on my face, not believing what he had just said.

I stepped back and walked away.

"Wait Mar," Two-bit back tracked. I kept walking telling myself that I didn't care what he said.

"I didn't mean that!" He jogged to catch up, "I'm just getting sick of our guys getting hurt."

I nodded not speaking.

"So really what did you do last night!" He lit a smoke and handed it to me.

I took it even though I hated smelling like smoke for school.

"Nothing that's worth mentioning." I took a long drag and let it out to a count of ten.

"We'll how about we fix that?" He took the cigarette from me mid smoke.

I just looked at him and didn't speak.

"Use your words Mar," Two-bit gave it back.

We finally got to school several wise cracks and degrading comments later, and I left Two-bit to get my stuff out of my locker.

"What the hell happened las night!" Angela slammed my locker closed as I had just opened it. "I get home to see Steve on the couch looking like hell and Curly's gone. The Tim gave me the fucking third degree about you!" She smacked her gum and talked with her hands.

"What?" This time I honestly did not know what was going on.

"Yeah I know. Tim was stressing out over you. He was saying Curly disrespected you, but I'm pretty sure you liked it last time!" She continued to talk. " He went on and on about how you're family's going through hell, and you especially because of some bull shit reason he made up! I guess he hasn't met the new Curtis, it was the damnedest thing!" She slammed my locker door closed nearly taking off my head. "Are you listening to me?"

"Ang." I pleaded.

"What!" She threw her hands in the air. "You're a buzz kill today, Mary!" She left the same way she came, and I finally got my locker open in peace.

"I see Pony's not the only one letting you have it today!" Steve came out of know where making my whole body flench.

"Damn, Steve, you're such a creeper." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I'll keep you secret about last night and I'll keep mine. I stood up to coming out from under a car and a tool hit me." He informed me.

"What kind of tool, and why were you working on a car at night?"

"I just was okay, stick to this, and we'll both make it alright." Steve closed my locker door. I would have been pissed if I hadn't gotten all I needed out of my locker.

"Fine, but to have a successful lie, you need detail, and you don't have any." I rolled my eyes and walked ahead.

"Like what?" he grabbed my arm.

"I don't know what's with you people and thinking you can just grab me all the time, but it needs to stop." I would have elbowed him, but I could tell he was having enough troubles breathing as is.

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently.

"You were taking a look at your old man's car. You didn't want to help, but he asked nice so you figured, "What the hell, I'll be nice for once in my whole life. He was holding the flashlight, and you asked him to hand you the screw driver and when he was fiddling around for it taking to you you stood up to get it yourself. As you were standing he was lowering it to you and your eye caught it. Keep your shirt on, walk slow, wear jeans and that story should get you where ever you need to go." I winked at him and disappeared into the bathroom.

As the bell rang I walked into my classroom and sat beside Angela. I couldn't tell if she was still annoyed with me or not.

Our teacher stood in the front of the class and lectured the whole time. Angela had taken a nap, woken up, painted her nails, and painted my left hand nails. Boredom was all she needed to get over being mad at me.

I was turning the page in out book as the bell range, and I walked with Angela to lunch.

"Who the hell does she think she is!" Angela put her hand on her hip. I thought about asking who, but I realized I didn't really care.

"Giving us that much homework, that insane!"

"Why, you just copy mine anyway?" I laughed.

"Still, its a long ass assignment for me to copy. Speaking of, can you help me with my Algebra since you've already taken it." I never knew if Angela picked on me being smart because she was jealous, or because she really thought being smart was a waste of time.

"If by help you really mean help then yeah, I'm not doing it for you!"

"What good are you." She muttered sitting down at the table. It didn't take long for Two-bit, Steve, Evie, and Sandy to be sitting around us. Angela was whining about her homework and Sandy was trying to explain it to her.

I looked around for Pony, not seeing him mad me a little anxious.

"He's a big boy," Steve reminded me.

"Bet that's what they said about Johnny." That was all Angela had to say to get Steve, and Two-bit up.

They came back a few minutes later with Pony, Curly was close behind. I knew Curly wouldn't do anything with everyone around. They piled into out table, Karen sat on Two-bit laps to make room for Pony. Curly stood, I looked to Steve to see if him being around Curly was a problem, but I didn't notice much.

"Excuse me, Mary,do you think we could talk a second?" Someone put their hand on my back making me uncomfortable. I turned around to see who it was and so did everyone at my table.

"Me?" I was shocked.

"Well, yeah, you're Mary, aren't you?" She laughed. She had an annoying teacher laugh.

"Well, I usually call her Marbear." Two-bit piped in.

I stood up rolling my eyes, "Don't worry, she'll be back before the end of lunch!" she lead me back to her office I had never been anywhere near her office before.

"Go on, you can have a seat!" She motioned to the couch.

I hesitated, but gave in.

"Mary, take a deep breath." she told me. I really wanted to tell her to take a step back.

"You aren't in trouble, I just want to talk." She smiled again. She was like a clown with a smile painted on.

"About," I suggested that there was nothing I wanted to talk about.

"About you, how are you doing?" her face was squinting like she was reading my mind.

"I'm fine."

"But, how are you really? It's okay to talk about it here." She assured me.

"Talk about what?"

"Everything you are going through. I know it is tough." I wondered if she was waiting on me to start crying or something.

"Every day it gets a little easier." I thought that sounded like the best thing to say.

"It's not even been a month yet right? How are you adapting?"

"It'll be a month on wednesday, but I get the feeling you already knew that. I'm sorry, but why am I here?" I decided to be blunt.

"I want to check in. I want to see how everything is at home, and how you are handling the change and stress. So Marbear, the more you cooperate the easier it will be." Her annoying smile faded, but returned at the end of her sentence.

I sighed then started. "Soda dropped out of school, but that's what he always wanted to do anyway, Darry works alot, but he doesn't mind and he is certainly able, Pony's a handful. He's a little kid with a brain to smart for his own good."

"Right, but that has nothing to do with you. You talked about your brothers' sacrifices, but not your own." She pointed out; I wanted to break off her finger.

"I work a few days a week, but I had that job before my parents died. I still have my friends. I cook and clean, but I did that before my parents died. The only thing that's changed is that if I don't do it my mom can't pick up the slack. It's not easy if that is what you are asking me. I miss them, I think about them, but I don't obsess over them. I've got bigger fish to fry. I don't have time to waste."

"What do you do with your friends to relieve stress? It's hard because your life is so different from theirs. It is okay to tell me the truth. You won't get in trouble. We just need to get it in the open." I realized just then what had happened.

"Who talked to you?" I almost laughed. I was getting pissed. My mind scrambled thinking about it.

"What do you mean?" She bit the end of her pen.

"My parents died a month ago, and no one checked on us. We went through a bloody custody battle and no one checked on us, all of which was open to the public. We were in the damn paper for weeks at a time, and no one checked on us, but now you want to know what I do with my friends? I'm sorry, but I have a problem with that! Talk to Soda because he dropped out of high school, talk to Darry because he walked away from his dream life, college ball. Talk to Pony because he's practically a baby and he just had to realize the world is full of shit, and even when you think it can't, things get worse. So go on, talk to them." I stood up steaming.

"Someone recently brought you to my attention, but that should make you thankful," She told me as I bee lined for the door.

I felt like a volcano right then, about to explode, and I didn't care what I took down with me.

I walked over to the table where everyone was still sitting, Curly was the first to speak. Surprise, surprise.

"You got all your problems fixed all in one lunch period?"

That was like the fire to my dynamite.

"You think your funny?" I turned around and looked at him square in the face.

"I don't think baby, I know," he winked.

"We'll actually you aren't. You are an arrogant, heartless, ass. Whose life to too boring that you have to go and mess up mine!" I raised my voice. No one spoke so I continued.

"You knew I was not myself that night, but you didn't give a shit. I don't even know what happened. As if that's not enough you rub it in my face every single day! And today, getting a guidance consoler on my case when you know damn well we are suppose to keep a low profile, is pretty fucking low, even for a flea bag like you. Right here right now in front of my little brother! So, you know what? Do what ever the fuck you want because I've already lost everything! There's nothing you can take that I haven't already lost! I've got the five goofballs yeah, but they'd get along just fine with out me, so try me Curly Shepard.

"You wanna do something useful, find the bastard who messed up Johnny's face, and leave me the hell alone," I turned and walked out of the cafeteria praying to God that no one would follow me. "


	13. Chapter 13

I walked out the doors of school wishing like hell I had a smoke. My hands were shaking and I actually thought I was going to pass out, but I knew that I had to get away from the school. I walked for a few minutes telling my mind to calm down, but it just kept going back to the scene I had just made.

I got really dizzy and stopped walking trying to slow my heart down. I let out a hard sigh before throwing up the contents of my stomach.

It wasn't then until I realized the truck behind me.

"Curtis, I've been following you for two blocks haven't you heard me?" I looked up to see Tim.

"What?" I closed my eyes thinking I was gonna throw up again.

"Never mind, need a lift? I'm headed to your place to check on the kid anyway."

"I'm not going home, but thanks." I just wished he would move along.

"Well where you headed?"

I walked over to his car and put my folded arms on his rolled down window.

"Ain't you suppose to be in school?" He changed questions when I didn't answer.

I shrugged and rested my head in my arms.

"Jesus Curtis, get in before you pass out." He barked a way that screamed Dallas.

"I'm fine, really." I disagreed.

"Yeah, that's what most people say when they throw up." he rolled his eyes.

I didn't even know how to respond to that. I just let out and exhale as my head was spinning.

"What the hell happened between last night and here?" Tim asked.

"Your brother happened," I muttered, but I was pretty sure he didn't hear.

"Seriously, I can take you where ever you want to go." he yelled when I pulled myself back from his car.

"I need the exercise," that wasn't too much of a lie.

"I'm not leaving you out here to get hurt by these animals!" I knew he was referring to the socs.

"Mary!" He yelled again making a sharp pain shoot through my head.

"Holy hell!" I closed my eyes and put my hand on my head.

"What?" He asked equally as loud. I shifted my body around and threw up all over the side walk. My throat started to hurt on top of everything else. When I started to stand up I lost my balance and fell into the side of his car.

"Fuck, Curtis," He got out of his car and helped steady me. "Will you get in the damn truck now?"

"I don't have anywhere to go Tim! So no, I won't get in the truck." I started to push him off me but I was so tired I fell into him. He didn't know how to respond. My head landed on his chest. I felt paralyzed, I wanted to get away from him but I had never felt this weak before.

"What the hell's wrong with me?" I practically whimpered.

"Haven't you ever been sick before?" He laughed at me, put he gently stroked my hair.

"Come on Mary, get in." He pulled me to the side of the car. I got in and pushed my head against the window. He started the car and I tried to think of something to say so he wouldn't think I was dead.

"You seem to be coming to the rescue a lot." I tried to smile but I couldn't.

"Feel like it's the least I could do, your families done a lot for me." I recalled what he was referring too. Him and Darry played football together when they were young. My dad would always pick Tim up and they would play. When they were teenagers they were really good friends, but Tim stopped playing football and one way or an other they lost touch.

"You mean my parents did. The rest of us didn't really do much." I half joked. He didn't respond.

"Uhm, are you really going to my place?" I wondered where I was gonna go.

"Yeah, I told Darry I'd go by today, I can drop you somewhere first." He nudged me when I didn't respond.

"Just take me home, I'll figure something out." I sighed. He nodded and we drove down the road.

"I didn't tell Darry about Curly, I got the feeling you didn't want Darry to know. Do you want me to tell him, or are you going to." He parked the truck and looked at me.

"Uh, he doesn't need to know. Curly was just being stupid that's all. Nothing happened." I closed the door to the truck and rubbed my eyes trying not to look like I was sick.

"What ever you say," he smiled a Dallas smile. It was insane how much they reminded me of each other.

"Hey, do me a favor, don't tell Soda-" I started.

"I got it, I got it. You are so damn mysterious." He walked up our steps. I was a few paces behind him playing what I was going to say in my head.

"Hiya Tim!" I heard Soda's cheerful voice.

"Hey, Curtis, Hey kid, how ya holding up." Soda motioned him to a chair. I pulled the door open and came is as Johnny spoke.

"Mary, what are you doing here?" Soda seemed surprised to see me.

"Eh, you know me, I already know everything they were teaching." I looked at him then walked to the kitchen. I would have gotten a beer if I didn't have to work later; so, I grabbed one for Tim and got myself water out of the sink.

I handed it to him and he nodded listening to Johnny.

"Already learned everything huh?" Soda nudged me.

I rolled my eyes, I knew Soda couldn't care less if I skipped or not. "Don't you worry about me Soda, Johnny need anything, I'm about to shower?" I asked knowing that even if he did he wouldn't ask.

"No thanks," he still looked awful.

"You're showering before work?" Soda called, I acted like I didn't hear him.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. It was a little early in the season to get the flu, not like I even had time to get sick. I had to get to work, and go to the store, only to come home to homework.

The water pouring on me brought comfort. I did feel a little better, I always did when I was clean. I came out dressed in my uniform with a jacket on like I always did. Even when it was hot. I wasn't ashamed of my job, but I didn't need to flaunt it. When they surprised me at work obviously I couldn't hide it, but normally they stayed away when I was working, so far at least.

I came out and walked into my room, but I heard Soda call my name, "Mar, can you get milk at the store?"

I picked up my bag and dropped my books and walked to the kitchen.

"I just got some last week," I walked over to him,

"I think it's bad." He handed it to me. I didn't believe him. Him and Pony were always saying things were bad before they were.

I smelled it and almost spat chunks all over the floor.

"Shit," I handed it to him and walked to the bathroom and hurled. I couldn't even get the bathroom door closed.

"Mary?" Soda followed me.

"You okay?"

"Peachy." I responded I stepped out of the bathroom and could still smell it, Johnny looked at me and went to pour it out. God bless him.

"Don't look at me." Tim laughed.

"Keys Soda?" I put my hand out.

"Ain't you gonna be early to work?" Soda reached in his pocket.

"I'll get paid over time." I took them. "Alright, you can call work if you need me, try not to need me though." I tried to joke. No one laughed.

xxxxxxxxxx

I parked the car in front of the Curtis' house, I had to tell Soda; he deserved to know.

I got our of the car clothes the door and started to walk. I felt my knees trembling. I tried to flatten out my skirt, even though I didn't know why. It wasn't as if looking cute would make this any easier. Soda was going to hate me.

"Do it Sandy," I whispered and opened the door. Soda immediately looked up and smiled at the same time. He was so damn cute, and too good for me.

"I was hoping you'd come by," he gently kissed my forehead and opened the door for me.

"Where ya been?" He sat with me on the porch swing,

"Oh, you know, things have just been kinda crazy." She sighed.

"Between me and you?" He asked innocently.

"Not anything you did," I tried to fix what I was saying.

"Is it about what we did, I'm sorry if you are uncomfortable. We didn't have to, I love you for you, not because of that." He put his hand on the back of my head and kissed me.

How the hell was I suppose to tell him now.

"What's on your mind?" He pulled me close to him.

Now was my chance.

"Soda I'm pr-" I started.

"You can tell me anything, don't worry," he smiled warmly.

"I'm pretty sure you need to know what happened at school today," I sighed.

"What happened?" Soda tensed up. I could tell he was jumping to the worst case scenario.

"Damn, Sandy," I whispered, I was such a wimp. "I don't exactly know the whole story, but the Guidance Consoler came by and took Mary at lunch and when she came back she bitched out Curly and left. I mean really bitched him out."

"What did Curly do?" He didn't follow.

"I think he told the consoler that she needed to talk to Mary or something, but I don't know. He's always hitting on her, but she never seems to get mad about until today when I thought she was going to kill him." I waited for a response, but I didn't get on for a while.

"The Soc's weren't a problem?" He still looked stumped.

"Not really, not any more than usual, I don't think all of them were there." I tried to think.

"What, they weren't there to gloat for what they did to Johnny and Steve? I don't believe it." he shook his head.

"I don't know Soda," I sighed.

"As long as everyone's okay, I guess." He shrugged and pulled me into him.

"Yeah, but I don't think Mary is!"

"We don't have to worry about Curly too much, he owes our family alot, Mary's got my mom's temper. It gets the best of her sometimes. It'll blow over." He kissed my forehead. "Thanks for telling me though."

My stomach started to turn and I could feel my face turing red.

"What else is on your mind?" He whispered as I laid down and put my head on his lap.

"Nothing, it's just been stressful the last few weeks. I'm just worried about you." He started playing with my hair.

"Why?" He questioned.

"You didn't actually forget what today was did you?" I whispered.

"Of course not, but no ones made it a big deal, so I haven't either." He shrugged.

"You can't be okay, I know your hurting, you're just putting on your face." I didn't believe him.

"It's a process baby, I'm okay as long as I got you."


	14. Chapter 14

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"Mary, you're early!" My boss greeted me. "To be honest I wasn't expecting you today."

"I figured, I might as well, that okay?"

"As long as you don't tell anyone I let you punch in early, Savvy?" he motioned towards the clock. I nodded and punched my card.

"How's it going Mary?" One of the cooks called to me. Taylor, was my favorite. He was hands down the funniest person. He had a smart ass comment about everything, and he always spoke his mind.

"Taylor, how's it cooking?" I smiled. He started that a while ago. I was about to slap one of the customers I was waiting on because they constantly found something wrong with the meal. They wanted it cooked differently every time, thus "How's it cooking," was made.

"You look like you just saw a Ghost," he told me handing me my shoes. I hated the skates more than anything. As if balancing plates and drinks was not enough we had to so it on states with skirts that were much too short.

"Mary, 15!" Boss called.

"Shit," I muttered making Taylor laugh.

"Go get `em tiger!" He encouraged giving me a hand up.

I swear it was the people I worked with like Linda and Taylor that kept me alive.

I made my way over to a table and started my whole speech that I always did. I tried to be happy and peppy, but it was in short supply today.

An hour creeped by and Linda still hadn't showed, that was unlike her. She never bailed on work. Her family situation was similar to Steve's. She could not count on having a place to crash every night. She always needed money.

"Mary, take over table seven will ya?" My boss called.

"No big deal, it's not like I'm busy." I thought to myself.

"What can I get you guys to drink?" I asked before I fully stopped moving.

I repeated it back to them then turn to go get them, "Ma'am, we are ready to order!" Someone called to me.

"No shit," I rolled my eyes grabbing three cups.

"I'll be right over," I smiled taking a deep breath reminding myself killing someone was not allowed.

I dropped the drinks off with out saying a word and moved over to the table of people who insisted on bugging me.

"I'm so sorry about your wait, what will it be?" I tried to be nice even though I knew there was no point. People were quick to blame the waiter when things were crazy.

They gave me their order and I went over and posted it and rang the bell.

"Where the hell is Linda?" I mouthed to Taylor.

I cleaned three tables before the order was up. "Order!" Taylor called. I pulled my tired body over to the window.

"Taylor, what is this?" I asked.

"Your order," he looked at me like I was stupid.

"No tomato!" I pointed.

"The sheet says tomato, how am I suppose to know that means no tomato!" he handed it to me.

"The tomato has a cross through it!" I shouted exhaustedly.

"I thought you were just crossing your T!" He laughed taking the sandwich back.

I was unusually irritated. It was more than clear that I crossed out tomatoes. I went back to the table and dropped everything off explaining that I would be right back.

"Taylor, come on! They are waiting on this!" I muttered.

"Relax, Mar!" Taylor cooed.

"If I wouldn't have caught the tomatoes he would have eaten it and died. He's allergic! So, I guess in the end he would be calm." I hissed.

"That's some real logic right there," someone said behind me.

"Take a breath will ya? I'd hate for you to pass out." Taylor handed me the fixed sandwich. I turned around and about dropped my order on the floor.

"What are you doing here, I don't have time for any stunts." I pushed past him.

A couple left some change on the table I was cleaning. Not nearly enough, but money was money. They left a huge mess, Ketchup was everywhere. I kneeled on the ground to clean when Steve followed me.

"I just came to give you a heads up."

"About what?"

"Soda knows about you ditching and why." He sat in the chair I had just cleaned.

"How?"

"Someone told him, but it wasn't me so you can't go back on our deal." He reminded me.

"Who?" I asked again. His pause was enough to give away who it was, "Sandy." I muttered connecting the dots.

"She was probably just trying to help, you know how chicks are!" Steve shrugged.

"So people keep telling me." I let out a sigh.

"That's not all," he fidgeted.

"I don't have time Steve!" I stood up to pick up an other order.

"I'll get some more Pepsi for you sir," I smiled even though I really wanted to lay down and die.

"The gang-" Steve started.

"Steve please, I don't have time!" I almost begged.

"Mary," he paused.

"Steve, remember, use detail when you tell your story. I feel like at this point they will believe anything," I turned around and faced him.

"Mary, I think you should be with your family right now. Darry's coming home early maybe you should too." Steve whispered. My stomach dropped to my knees then. I wasn't use to everyone being so soft. With that the door opened and Linda walked in.

I looked up when she came in and I got this feeling that something wasn't right.

"Boss isn't here, take a second." I suggested as she walked towards me. She didn't take my advice, I didn't blame her, I don't take other people's advice either.

The place cleared out pretty quick and I walked over to Linda.

I waited to see if she was going to say anything. When she didn't I started to back up, she obviously didn't want me to know.

"Can I stay at your place?" She whispered.I almost didn't hear what she said.

"Yeah, always." I didn't hesitate. I knew in my head it wasn't the best day for her to stay at my place, I didn't know how everyone was handling the day, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

She walked around back to punch in and I went back to bussing tables. The day kept reoccurring in my head. I heard the bell on the door ring and I looked up to see who it was and I knew just by that split second glance my day was about to get worse.

"Let's sit over here," I heard one of them say. I waited as long as I thought I could before I went over.

"Hey guys, I'm Mary. Can I get you all a drink?" I hoped they would be civilized.

"We'll all have Pepsi," The one I knew as Bob tried to act all tough.

"I'd do her," I heard one say and they all started laughing.

"She's a Curtis you know." Randy added.

"Damn, there's like a hundred of them!" They all laughed again.

"Hey, Linda, take over Mary's table 7 will ya?" I heard Taylor yell. "Linda?"

I didn't know what exactly was going on with her, I was sure I'd find out sooner or later.

"Linda you put your card in the wrong slot, today's the 6th," I heard Taylor.

"Today's the 6th? Oh shit." I heard Linda react.

"It's not a big deal just move it and make a note on there, I do that all the time." Taylor laughed. "Hey Mar, I was just gonna ask Linda to help take some of your tables!"

"Mary, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't know the date! What are you doing here!" Linda asked from behind the window.

"I'm fine, Taylor, Linda let it go," I muttered picking up my order and leaving.

"What just happened? Taylor questioned.

"Keep up Taylor!" Linda yelped in her high pitch voice.

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"Hey Soda, Hey Johnny,"I greeted as I walked in the front door. They were playing cards on the floor.

"Hey Pone!" Soda smiled real big.

"What?" I asked weirded out by his enthusiasm.

"Nothing, I'm just glad your home. There's cake in the ice box." He pointed

"Mary here?" I was worried about her.

"No, but I heard there was a misunderstanding at school today." he explained.

"Misunderstanding, I think it was alot more than that!" I bee lined to my room. I really wanted to talk to Mary.

"What's eating at you?" Soda followed me.

"Nothing," I shrugged pulling off my shoes.

"Come on now," he coaxed.

"I've never seen her that mad Soda. She was livid!"

"Livid, shoot Pone, it was just a misunderstanding. She hasn't slept well lately she was probably just pushed too far." He tried to make me feel better. He did that alot these days.

"I'm to blame for that," I sat on the end of the better.

"It was just displaced anger, she understood that. You and Darry should really talk about it Pone, you can't go on with this tension!" He sat beside me.

"The tension has nothing to do with that, I'm worried about Mary. You're not listening Soda, I've never seen her like that!" He nudged my arm off of his shoulder.

"Come on Pone, Curly was just messing around right? It was all fun and games, he just hit a soft spot or something, he's a good guy!"

"Who is?" Steve walked in the room.

"Noone," I mumbled leaving.

"I was just telling Pony that he had nothing to worry about with Curly." Dallas almost knocked me over as I exited and he entered.

"Why the hell is everyone back here?"

"We were talking about Mary and Curly." Steve answered.

"Man, he light a match to her today!" he laughed thinking about it.

"It was all fun and games right?" Soda clarified.

"I dunno about all that man, he's an ass hole to her." Dally jumped onto the bed.

"What?" Soda started to look concerned.

"A chick like Mary doesn't flip a shit like that unless its something big, or it built up!" He laughed at my lack of knowledge.

"Have ya'll seen him do anything?"

"I've been meaning to talk to you Soda," Steve spoke up.

"About what really happened to your face?" Dallas growled. Steve rolled his eyes and continued "The other night I ran into her at the Shepards' she was waiting on Ang when Curly walked in." Soda tensed up something awful, Dally sat up from the bed.

"There you all are! You left Johnny out there all alone! What are we doing?" Two-bit came in with Johnny beside him.

"What did Curly do Steve!" Soda ignored.

"He was hitting on her and shit like that she kept saying no, but he wouldn't stop. I tried to stop him, but I was already beat up. If Tim wouldn't have walked in I think things would have gotten pretty bad. Tim kicked Curly out, I don't know what happened after.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dallas had his feet on the floor. "I'll flatten his ass!"

"That little shit!" Two-bit almost laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!" Soda shot Steve a look grabbing his jacket.

"It just happened, I haven't had a chance!" Steve defended.

"It JUST happened? Did Curly do this to your face?" Soda softened his voice.

"That bastard!" Dallas walked out the door.

"Wait, where are you going!" Johnny asked.

"To find Curly!" Dallas kept walking out the door.

"To talk to Mary," Soda added.

"Mary's at work, maybe we should wait until she gets home." Pony suggested.

"No chance that's happening," Two-bit jogged after Dallas.

"You okay staying here?' Soda didn't really ask me he just assumed.

xxxxxxx

We walked in and Mary was busy moving around the same way she always was.

"Baby, can we have some more pepsi!" a table of guys I knew were no good called.

She played it cool and refilled them with out making a fuss.

"I got it Mar!" Linda cut Mary off.

"Hey, ass holes, leave her alone," Linda told them then noticed us standing there.

"You here to talk her into coming home? I already tried she as stubborn as a mule" Linda stood up.

"You can say that again," Steve snickered.

"Did something happen?" Two-bit pointed.

"Nothing happened today specifically."

"We are just talking to Mary, where'd she go?" I told her.

"Probably went to the bathroom to wash her hands after waiting on these flea bags," Steve suggested about that time Dallas and Two-bit walked in with Tim Shepard.

"Go ahead and park it at the bar, she'll be back in a minute." Linda pointed.

"Where'd you find Tim?" I asked impressed.

"I have my sources," Dallas still looked pissed off. First Johnny, then Steve, and now Mary. I knew it was about time Dallas raised some hell.

It stayed quiet while we talked getting as much information as we could out of Tim, I assumed Mary went to smoke or something.

"I don't know what Curly did, I don't know what help I can be!" Tim ordered a drink.

"Where is that little shit?" Dallas raised an eye brow.

"All I know is last night he ruffled her feathers and today I picked her up off the road where she threw up then collapsed in my arms. I asked her what Curly did and she didn't say anything, but don't worry I'll make sure Curly gets it all straightened out." Tim told us. I believed him, Tim was a decent guy, but then again, I thought

that about Curly.

"Come on guys, you've eaten enough now you're just taking up space, why don't you people watch somewhere else?" Linda crossed her arms and looked at them. All of us turned around in disbelief of these guys.

"We aren't getting much people watching in here today, the waitress isn't wearing her tight shirt and low skirt." They all laughed at each others joke.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dallas turned around. "Hey ass holes, what did you just say?"

"Wait till they leave at least Dally. Don't cause trouble here." I nudged his arm.

Mary HATED it when we came into work because someone always got her in trouble.

"Man, that's her brother." One brave soul managed to say between laughs.

"An other one? Man, didn't their parents learn about condoms! They are like a walking bill board for some who can't keep it in their pants!"

A switch hit me right then. My fist hit him right in the jaw. None of us even reacted.

"HEY!" Linda yelled.

"Cheap shot Curtis, I'll remember that next time we come across one of your strays" Randy rubbed his jaw. Dallas had a glow in his eyes, he had nothing to lose by making Randy see stars.

"Hey tough guy, get the hell out of here!" Linda pointed to the door.

"Or your sister," Bob muttered. "I'm not a big fan of super skinny, but I can always make an exception!" He got louder as he spoke. Dallas put his foot down before I did. He punched Bob in the gut then kicked him in the groin. Randy and the other guy reacted returning a punch back at Dallas.

Tim stepped in and Randy and Bob were both on the ground in seconds. The other two were getting it pretty good from me,and Steve got a punch in but he was still looking pretty bad.

Tables and chairs were knocked over food was everywhere. The other people in the dinner were yelling and screaming.

"What the hell, stop!" Linda put her hands on Tim's back. "Not here, your gonna get yourself arrested,"

"and Mary fired!" Some guy I had no idea who he was added. I looked up to see who it was.

xxxxxxxxxxx

I came out from the bathroom and about had a heart attack.

"Call the Police," Taylor ordered running over to break it up. Linda was yelling for them to stop in her loud shrieking tone. The tables were slamming into each other, and the handful of customers were leaving, with out paying. Guess who would be responsible for their meals?

They kept at it for what seemed like hours! Taylor, and the two cooks couldn't stop them.

"Call Boss," Taylor looked at me. My heart dropped. That was a death sentence. That was worse than the cops. When those idiots heard the sirens they would split, but when my boss showed up I would be fired. This was the what, third or fourth fight that my family caused.

I pressed the phone to my ear and waited. I prayed like hell that he wouldn't answer.

"Hello?" he answered. Fuck.

"Hello?" He repeated.

"B-b-boss?" I forced out.

"Mary, what's wrong?" He asked. Funny how people asked me that all the time.

"There's been a fight, I just called the police, I think you should come in."

I hung up and turned back around hoping they would all be gone.

They weren't. The place was a complete disaster. Taylor must have gotten hit trying to stop it all he had a bloody nose. I took it all in realizing it was all going to be very bad. Just then, icing on the cake, I heard sirens too.

"Shit," I heard multiple people say in unison. They all let go of each other and hauled ass to get out. The only smart thing any of the did.

Two cops came in about the same time.

"Looks like a tornado came through here." He laughed. The nerve of him to laugh! I sat down behind the bar and leaned my head against one of the poles.

I had not had a good day. Dumb ass Curly pissed me off, then my dumb ass idiot brothers got into it, I had to call the dumb ass police who thought this was funny, then I had to call my boss who would in no shape or form find this funny. I closed my eyes hoping the throbbing in my head would go away.

"Is your manager here?" The other police asked.

"Yes," he answered from behind them.

"Okay good, let proceed with the police report. I'll need to talk to each other your employees."

"Why?" Boss questioned.

"We will need to have the best descriptions to find who it is. I'm assuming you are pressing charges. Look at this place!"

"Pressing charges, ha, like that ever really gets justice. Thank you for coming out gentlemen, I think I can take care of it." Boss shook hands with the officers and they left the same way they came in.

He didn't say anything for a solid minute.

"Where's Mary?" His voice was monotone.

No one spoke so I stood up. Everyone was staring at me as if they expected me to start crying or something. "The rest of you, go on your breaks." Everyone walked past me and out the front door.

He kicked the napkins, straws, ice cubes and food out of the way. He picked up a chair and sat in it.

"I'm wearing two different shoes, look at this," He pointed. I had no idea why that mattered.

"I was at home sitting down at the table to call my wife to pick her up for lunch when the phone rings. All I hear is a tentative voice overwhelmed by all of the noise. I put the pieces together. I sped my ass over here to find this." He shifted his weight in the chair, but he still didn't look at me.

"I'm just at a loss for words right now. I left you off the schedule because I know, even though you deny it, that you are going through hell right now. I come to find that you added yourself to the schedule. I respected that. I respect that you wanted to work despite the hardships, so I let you. Then I come back to work, to find this. I don't know if I should be mad or just relieved. Mad because I'm going to have to close the place down while you clean, or relieved because at least someone is expressing their emotions!" He looked up from his chair.

"I'm sure the rest of the employees will be glad. We are closing for the first day in years!" He walked over to the door and flipped over the sign then walked back to the kitchen. I scratched my head not even knowing where to start. I started putting the chairs on the table so I could mop and sweep.

"Hey, he's giving us the day off. You okay?" Linda came out from the kitchen.

"Just peachy." I responded.

"Okay, well, you come to my house tonight if you need a night." She tapped my shoulder and left. Funny how and hour ago she was coming to my house to escape her mom, and now I need to escape everyone in mine.

The cooks left along with the other waiter. I hadn't seen Boss, I assumed he was in his office.

"I thought you could use some company." Taylor caught my arm.

"Take your day off Tay," I whispered,

"Naw, its not like I have any place else to be." He took the mop out of my hand.

"Tay, you shouldn't be here." I said more firmly.

"One could argue the same thing to you." he smiled and started mopping beside me. I kneeled down to pick up a plate off the ground and stood up only to slip and fall on my back knocking over the mop bucket.

"Mary!" Taylor looked over at me. He gave me the sympathetic eyes I wanted to claw out.

"Not only am I in a skanky skirt and a low t-top, I am in a wet, skanky, low, outfit." I took off the roller blades and launched them across the floor. Taylor looked at me like I was crazy, but he didn't speak. As I stood up my head started to hurt like hell once I was all the way up I got dizzy. I tried to balance myself and breath through my nose like I remember my mom doing when she was feeling bad, but it did not do me any good.

"Mary?" Taylor questioned me. Instantly I got the wave of nausea I was far too use to. I walked out the door and threw up in the bushes beside the store. I let out a long exhale and I paced around a little bit. Once I calmed myself down I went back into the store.

"Mary, why don't you get home, it is a rough day." He suggested, I knew he meant well, but it just hit me like a pie in the face.

"Taylor, it hasn't been any worse than the day before, or the day before that, or the day before that. Today hasn't been any worse than the last few weeks. Life goes on right? Well how the hell am I suppose to move on if people don't let me move on! So, you go home Taylor, because you have a mom and a dad who love you. A sister who worships you and a brother who is so similar to you it would blow your mind if you shut up long enough to listen. So, please, live your life, because you have a family. I don't know what the hell I have, but it certainly is not a family. Hopefully I will see you soon, you know if I'm not fired in all." I let off some steam then continued to clean. I took the dishes I picked up off the floor and took them to the kitchen. When I came back Taylor was gone. I felt pretty guilty, he was trying to help. I was not in the mood. I felt like crap.

I was surprised that it only took an hour to clean up the front of the store, but then I had to clean the back. It took awhile to clean everything, and I was about to get fed up when Boss came in.

"Looks good, get out. I have to get home."

"Yes, sir," I cleaned my hands off and followed him out.

"Be careful, it's dark out there." He instructed. "I'll see you Saturday. Not before then. We can talk more then."

I let out a sigh I had been holding in. I started to go to the grocery store. It was open 24/7, if it wasn't we would starve.

I walked around wishing Two-bit was there. He always would joke around in the grocery store. He could make you laugh so hard that it was a work out!

I got everything we had to have in our budget, or my budget. Tips had sucked this week.

I walked towards the check out and picked up flowers on my way. Just a small bunch not too much or anything.

"Ms Curtis, I haven't seen you in a while!" The friendly cashier smiled at me.

"I know sir, I have been postponing coming! I wasn't even going to come today until our milk had chunks in it!" I smiled.

"Well, I can't have you drinking old milk! These flowers are beautiful aren't they? I picked them myself from my wife's garden." He placed the food into bags.

"They sure are, how is your wife doing sir?" I always made a point to ask about his wife. She was the sweetest old lady.

"Doing well, she calls me every 30 minutes to make sure every things okay." He smiled taking the money out of my hands. I knew he was talking about Two-bits stealing and Dally's rudeness.

"How is work for you?" He handed me my change.

"I can't complain," I smiled back at him.

"It wouldn't be you if you complained my dear, you have a great evening, or morning." He looked over to the clock.

I walked back to the truck digging the keys out of my purse.

"I feel like it is something to complain about." I heard behind me.

"I am seeing an awful lot of you these days." I rolled my eyes.

"What can I say, I needed smokes. Want one?"

I took it gladly, I had been wanting a smoke for sometime now.

"You can't take it and run!" He laughed.

"I have to, I have an other stop to make."

"I'm headed there myself. Let me bum a ride, you owe me." He opened the truck door.

"How do you even know where I'm going?" I was in a helpless situation.

"Who else would you be getting flowers for?" He rolled down the window as I pulled out of the parking spot.

"You really ought to stop going out at night by your lonesome all the time Mary." He warned me.

"I'm a big girl." I objected.

"You keep telling yourself that doll face." Tim could be a nice guy when he wanted, but he could really get under your skin.

I put the car in park at the grave side and sat there. Their grave were the first two next to the parking lot. Once you got out of the car you only took three steps.

"You gonna get out?" He looked at me like I was stupid. I got out and walked to the grave and placed the flowers down and stepped back leaning against the car. I didn't feel like it was right to say anything. I could put words into how I felt. I didn't know how I felt.

He waiting beside me for a little bit then sat on the hood. "You've got pretty eyes Curtis, you should keep your head up more to show people." He told me randomly. I didn't exactly know how to take that. Tim sent me mixed emotions. When I was younger he was the only one of Darry's friends that was nice to be, but as I got older my friends didn't like him, so I thought I didn't like he either.

"Your brothers know about Curly, I don't know how, but Dally came over to me fuming. It practically took a translator to figure out what the hell he was talking about. Soda was the same way, I imagine Darry will too." He was all full of surprised tonight.

"What are they mad about,?" I tried to figure out what all they knew.

"Hell if I know, he's my brother and I don't even know what he did. Do you even know what he did?" He could cut deep.

"He's an ass, but so is Dallas, and you can be too." I started to move back to the car.

"Yeah, he may be an ass, but the thing with Curly is he usually only is one when you give him a reason to be. So, I guess the question should be what did you do?" That stopped me. Could I have done something wrong?

"I don't know why everyone got so worked up. I don't know who started it, or what, but I didn't tell Soda, Pony, Darry, or even Steve anything about last night or any of the nights before."

"Welcome to the world of alcohol, it makes you forget things, Curtis." He followed me back into the car.

And with that Tim was back.

"Walk home Shepherd." I unlocked just my door and got in, leaving him standing there. It was too late to be taxing him all over the place anyhow. I didn't want to see Ang either, she was probably coming up with a million different reasons to be mad at me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey Guys," I walked in the front door much earlier than usual.

"Hey Dar," Soda gave me a weak smile. I looked around and everyone was lounged around in out living room. People hadn't done that in a while. It'd been so crazy lately usually everyone stayed scarce. Event Sandy was over, I wondered what she had to tell her parents to let them allow her over.

I let out a sigh as I pulled off my shoes and everyone stayed quiet and I wondered if it was because they were all thinking what I was thinking.

"I'm not gonna touch on this too much guys, but I just want ya'll to know how much I appreciate each of you lending a hand. It's been hell; there's no way to sugar coat it or to make what we went through better it is pure and cruel hell. So, I picked up some pizzas. They're in the car, go on out and grab them," I smiled. Two-bit stood up and Johnny followed him out.

"The Socs do that to you too?" I grabbed Steve's shirt.I didn't get a chance to ask him that morning.

"No, I dropped a tool working on my dad's truck." He looked at me for a second before I let him go.

They all came back in and Two-bit let out a whoop! Everyone laughed and started joking around like usual. Even Pony, I hadn't seen that kid smile in a long time.

"You not eating Dar?" Soda asked me.

"I'm going to go for a run first. I'll be back after I work up an apatite." I went back to my room and changed into some old clothes. I laced up my shoes and walked back through the house.

"See ya Muscles!" Two-bit called. I rolled my eyes. One day he was gonna piss off the wrong guy.

It felt good to be outside again. It sounded odd because I am outside everyday, but I'm never outside for me; or, at least, it doesn't feel like it. I walked to the street corner and started my jog. I jogged down the street passed a vacant old house, passed the gas station, and the little old lady who gave out the best Halloween candy. I kept going down the street and ran to Pony's school. I stopped and looked at it. It hadn't even been a year since I was in high school, but it felt like a life time. High school was the best years of my life. I dated a new girl every week until I met Karen. My dad called Karen the one that taught me not to have my heart in my sleeve. My mom said Karen didn't know what she was missing and one day she would realize it. I thought Karen was the one that got away.

I started running again passed the church we went to every Sunday. I remember Pony getting baptized there faintly, behind the church was the grave yard. I walked to the grave yard fence and let out a long heavy sigh.

"You'd be proud," I said strongly event though it took about all the strength I had. I turned and jogged back to the house. It was a short run, but it was long enough to get me through an other four weeks.

People kept telling me it was a process and to live one day at a time, but I think that's bull shit. Living one day at a time got us into this mess. My parents didn't plan anything incase they died. So,now I'm doing it.

I am looking far, far forward to Pony's ticket out of here. Pony's the only one that really has a chance. Mary is too self established. She doesn't know how to accept help. I don't look for her to ever leave Tulsa. Soda will follow Steve. I look for them both to get the hell out of here when they get bored of the DX. Soda will probably follow Sandy where ever she goes to college. He is starry eyed about her. As his parent I warn him not to fall so fast, but as his brother I completely understand. It's his first love! Then there's Pony. He's got a shot at what ever he wants. He just doesn't see it. As his brother I should let him come around on his own, I never told Soda what to do; but, as his parent it is my responsibility to do what is best for him. I intend to do so down to the letter.

I got back to the house seeing Two-bit on the floor wresting Steve, Johnny and Pony were on the couch laughing, Dally was drinking his beer and Soda was counting the seconds Two-bit had Steve pinned down. I guess everything was getting back to usual around here after all.

"You nut cases save Mary any pizza? Not like she will eat it anyway," I thought out loud. Two-bit let go of Steve, but Steve didn't tackle Two-bit in return.

"What time is she getting home anyway?" I asked again.

"She said she was working late, but" Soda spoke up after a long pause.

"But?" I finished.

"But she probably doesn't have a job any more." Dally finished. Steve swatted at Dallas from the ground.

"Get your hands off me," Dally stepped on his hand.

"What?" I spoke over them.

"At school today,Superman, something happened and the Mary got harassed by the guidance counselor, I don't know, but she came back and lit into Curly like I've never seen. You shouldda seen her she was on fire!" Two-bit got off the floor.

"What did Curly do?" I rubbed my head.

"I was at Shepard's the other night and she was there too waiting on Ang. Curly got there first and took things too far. Way too far." Steve sat up and looked anywhere but my eyes.

"What did he do!" I felt my protective big brother instincts kick in. " He was saying dumb shit about how she owed him and how he just wanted to have fun, he kept pulling on her and touching her, she kept saying to stop, she tried to get away." He continued.

"Where the hell were you?" I snapped.

"This was fresh after I got hit... with the tools while working on my dad's car. I took a punch but Curly had me out in a few seconds. Tim came in and kicked Curly out."

Sandy move beside Soda and he draped his arm around her.

"Where is she now?" I tried not to shout.

"Steve told me what Curly did, so we went to talk to her about it at work-" Soda started.

"But the lazy bastard Socs were talking shit about Mary as we were sitting in front of them. Not just Mary about your mo-" Dally slammed his beer on the table's edge just at the right angle to shatter it cutting his hand and making a mess. "They were the same sons of bitches who messed up Johnny's face!"

"So what then!" Darry grabbed a towel out of the bathroom and threw it at Dally.

"We got into it, the cops were called and we left. I tried to get back in to see Mary, but the cops were still there, and I didn't want to risk it."

"So what does that mean?" I crossed my arms.

"Mary said she'd be late. She was closing and going to the grocery store anyway." Pony piped up.

"What does that mean about her job, did you all actually get her fired?" I clarified.

No one said anything. Hell, I didn't even know what to say. I turned an walked back to my room sitting on m bed even though I was sweaty and gross.

I sat there contemplating what I was going to do. If Mary lost that job, I think she would loose it. Not only that, but what really happened with Curly. It wasn't like she would tell me if he did anything. My baby sister was taken advantage of by my best friends little brother? I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. I stayed back in my room for a long while pacing around and putting things into perspective. I looked at the clock and saw that it read 10:00. I realized I needed to check on Pony.

"Pony," I walked into the den. Everyone was gone except for Sandy and Steve.

"Yeah, Dar?" He stood up. I guess I scared him.

"Go on and get ready for bed. It'll be in there in a minute." He didn't make a fuss.

"Uh, Sandy want me to drive you home?" Steve offered clearly feeling uncomfortable. I didn't even care that I was making them uncomfortable.

"That'd be great thanks." Sandy smiled looking at Soda.

"I'll wait for you outside. Take your time," he winked at Soda. I don't know what Soda would do with out Steve.

"You'll give me a call when Mary comes home right?" She grabbed his hand.

"Naw, Sandy it'll be really late. You know Mary, it's fine. I'll pick you up tomorrow after work." He kissed her gently.

"When you worry, I worry. Call me in the morning, or I will call you!" She pulled into a hug.

"If you insist." He laughed gently.

"Hey, everything will be fine. It wasn't your fault." She kissed his cheek and walked to the door. I disagreed with Sandy's comment, but I held my tongue.

"Thanks for coming over tonight." He called to her.

"I love you Soda," She looked back at him from the door quickly then left. Soda looked like a little kid on Christmas.

"Go on to bed on that happy note, I'll wait up for Mary." I patted him on the back.

I walked into Pony's room knowing he was still peeved at me.

"Call it a night Pone, I'll help you with the rest of the homework tomorrow, it's been a long day. He looked up at me, but didn't speak.

"I can write you a note or something Pony, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be up all night." I walked in the room a little more.

"Soda," I called leaving the room. He still was beaming.

"Crash in my room tonight. I got the couch." I patted him on the back.

"Naw, Dar. You've already got a messed up back. I'm fine on the couch." He disagreed.

"You've got work tomorrow, it's different." I walked past him.

"So do you, and you are on top of a roof!" Soda followed me.

"Come on Soda, I mean it." I put my foot down.

"I'd rather wait out here for Mary, I'm the one that caused this mess Darry." He looked upset.

"It's my job, Soda, to wait on her." I looked away.

"If you fall of the roof tomorrow, you won't be able to wait up for any of us." Soda put his foot down.

I didn't respond, he had a point. "Wake me up when she gets home. I mean it."

"Yeah, I will." He nodded.

I turned the truck off and grabbed the groceries from the back seat. I left them on the hood of the car and lit the smoke Tim gave me. I just needed a few puffs. My hand shook as I lit it. My finger rolled across the lighter twice failing to get it open.

"Come on Mary," I talked to myself. I was reminding myself to keep it together. I was exhausted, and I still felt sick.

I let out five long exhales then put out the smoke. I picked back up the groceries and walked into the house being as quiet as I could. The light was already on, which meant someone was waiting on me. That was the last thing I wanted.

I closed the door gently and walked over to the counter and placed the groceries. I started to put them away when I saw Soda stand up. I cussed under my breath.

"Mary!" He stood up and came over to me.

"Soda, why are you up? It's after midnight." I whispered.

"I was waiting on you, Mar-" I cut him off.

"I told you this morning that I would be late and that there was not reason to wait on me."

"That was before everything that happened. I'm really sorry." He grabbed my hand.

"You know hell breaks loose when you come to work Soda." I closed the fridge and opened the cabinet.

"I know, but when I heard about Curly-" I cut him off again.

"I can take care of myself. I'm fine, it was an accident, I'm not mad, I will see you in the morning." I turned my back to him and kneeled. I could feel him watching me. I stood up quickly to finish when I got light headed. I slid down and sat on the floor.

"What's going on?" He touched my hand. "Mary, you are burning up!"

"I'm just hot," I stood back up. "Put those up for me will ya?" I walked back to my room and pulled off my left shoe. I sat on my bed to pull off my right shoe when Pony walked in.

I looked at him waiting to see what he would say.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I was just angry." He stood at my door.

"I know. Don't mention it. I can take a punch." I smiled gently.

"You shouldn't have to, not from me anyway."

"It was just stress, don't sweat it." I stood up and opened my arms for a hug.

"You doing okay?" I asked casually. He didn't respond answering my question.

"Yeah, most annoying question ever." I smiled and he laughed.

"Do you ever just feel so mad you wanna scream Mar?" He continued to hug me.

"The thing is though Pony, no matter how mad you get or how wrong you think Darry is what he says goes. I know it is so hard to understand, but fighting it only makes it worse you know? Like all of the rebells you read about in history class, if they would have just gone with the flow and excepted it there would have been more smooth sailing. Do you get what I mean?" I let go of him and he sat on my bed.

"It's not fair! He's my brother!" He started to get upset.

"You're absolutely right. It's not fair!" I agreed.

"Why, Mary! He use to be fun!" Pony laid back on my bed. I knew it was because he didn't want me to see him cry.

"If he's not hard on you and if you aren't successful he sees that as a failure on his part. Same way mom and dad would." I walked around my room getting things ready for the next day.

"Why does he have to be so mean?"

"Everything you are feeling he feels too. Think about it." I stopped and looked at him.

He didn't respond. I sank to my desk and started reading my homework.

"I'm going to bed Mary." Pony told me about five minutes later.

"Sweet dreams," I briefly looked up from my chair.

About twenty minutes passed then Soda came back in.

"You say your not mad, but I just get this feeling that you are." Soda sat on my bed.

"I don't wanna talk about it tonight," I sighed standing up and walking to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before I threw up. I hoped he didn't hear me. I stuck my mouth under the sink and gargled water. I wanted to lay down and never move. As I spat out the water I saw the increasing pile or laundry in the basket. I took it with me to the washer and quickly separated the clothes. I pulled the clothes out of the washer put them in the dryer. I took the dry clothes with me back to my room after I started the new load.

"Lay down for a while Mary, I'll help you with all that in the morning." Soda looked up from the bed.

"Fine, but I'm setting the alarm for 4:00, I have to finish studying." I gave in, not because he asked me, but because my head hurt to the point that my eyes were blurry.

"I love you Mar," Soda touched my shoulder. I thought about rolling over and shaking his arm off, but as much as I wanted to be mad at him, I really wasn't. I really just wanted to cry. For the first time in four weeks I wanted to just cry and feel sorry for myself, my friends, and my family.

I was afraid that if I started I would not be able to stop. I was too busy to waste time. I closed my eyes to make my head stop and I fell asleep with out even knowing.

I was woken up by my alarm, and I quickly turned it off before I woke up the whole house.

Soda sleeply rolled over, but he didn't say anything. I picked up all of my books and brought them into the living room. I turned on the light and walked over to the coffee pot turning it on. Coffee, my new addiction. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer asking God to get me through the day. I didn't know if I believed in God. Mom did, Dad did too, but mostly because Mom did. If there was a God it would make things easier. I could blame him for my parents death.

I sat down and started reading my book. I needed to read fifty pages, we were going to have a quiz on it. Even if I read the damn book I would still fail the quiz. The teacher was crazy. I stood up and got the coffee taking a break from reading. I took a few asprins off the table and put them back in the cabinet.

I sat back down and continued reading. I pushed through the fifty pages eyes watering and head throbbing only to move on to math. I tried to write neatly because the teacher complained when the math was hard to read but it was so early, I was trying my best.

I stood up and poured my third cup of coffee. I realized that I was not going to be able to finish my math and my biology work.

I decided to finish math. When I got to the problems I didn't know how to do I skipped them instead of figuring them out. I was working faster than ever. I pulled out my biology book and started taking notes. I had no idea what I was writing down. I pretty much wrote what ever looked important.

I was frantically writing and did not even notice Darry walk in. I took as much of a surprise and he was to me.

"Mary, what are you doing?" He rubbed his eyes. I jumped about a foot out of my chair.

"Jesus-" I put my hand to my chest. "Finishing some work." I told him.

He looked too tired and confused to make a comment.

"Did you drink the whole pot of coffee?" Darry poured himself less than half of a cup.

"What time is it?" I asked standing up.

"Almost 7:00."

"Why are you up so early."

"I had a feeling you would be awake." He looked at me hard.

"What?"

"Let's talk." Darry sat in the chair across from me.

"I need to finish this." I was not in a talking mood.

"You get in trouble at work?" He didn't care that I was busy.

"Not any more than usual."

"Were you fired?" He rephrased.

"No," I answered. He will cut my pay though, not that I blame him. I thought the last part to myself. I stood up and walked into the laundry room taking the clothes out of the dryer. I was also trying to get away from Darry, but he followed me.

"I'm only going to ask you this once, so a straight answer would be nice." He spoke up getting my attention.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. It bothered me how easily I could lie, to Darry especially. He looked at me, "There's alot I worry about Mary, I don't want to have to worry about you too." Darry softened his tone.

"I'd tell you if I couldn't handle it." an other lie. He nodded at me and walked back to the kitchen. I put the basket down and walked into Pony's room to wake him up. I figured he rather it be me than Darry.

"Time to get up Pone," I shook him gently then left to get Soda.

"Rise and shine." I called and turned on the light.

"Aw Mary," Soda whined briefly. "Yeah, yeah." I opened my closet pulling out clothes.

"Did you ever fall asleep?" Soda sat up.

"Did you hear my alarm?" I asked.

"No, did it go off?"

"Yeah, I just woke Pony up. I'm about to go shower. His clothes are folded on top of the washing machine. I'm not making breakfast, I'm running late. I can make him a lunch before I leave. Keep the peace for me while I'm showering." I knew I could not handle yelling.

"Mary!" Angela opened the front door as I started towards the bathroom.

"Angela?" I thought for sure she would be mad at me.

'You look rough, do you still feel bad?" Give it to Angela to be annoyingly honest.

"I'm on my way to shower Ang," I rolled my eyes.

"Can I see your math homework?" She smiled.

"It's on the table." I closed the door behind me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Pony you're going to be late!" I called picking up the toast and pouring milk.

"I'm coming." Pony came walked out of his room in his underwear.

"Darry, have you seen my pants?" He looked like he had had a rough night.

"Nope, can't say I have Pony." Angela resisted a laugh. Soda didn't he laughed loud enough to wake the dead.

Pony's face turned three different shades of red.

"I'll get them, Mary said she washed them." Soda still laughed.

"I love your family, you always have something going on." Ang sat down and started copying Mary's homework.

"You know you could try doing it." I suggested.

"Don't joke about stuff like that." Angela didn't look up from her paper.

"What stuff can't you joke about?" Two-bit opened the front door.

"Me doing my own homework." Angela answered still copying.

"Oh, I get what you mean. It's just is too much of a hassle." Two-bit sat in my dad's old chair.

"You should be concerned when you start understanding what a Shepard means." Steve stood up. I agreed for the most part.

"What is that suppose to mean?" She still didn't look up. Mary must have been up all night.

"Don't act like you didn't know!" Dally walked in the house.

"I really don't know what you are talking about! Are you mad at Tim again? You two are like sisters, every time I turn around you are pissed at each other, but you never miss an opportunity to bust someone's head in." She looked up only to start writing again.

"Wrong Shepard." Steve clenched his fist.

"Is this about lunch, I have no idea what that was about. She's been sick I'm sure it was nothing!" Mary's been sick?

"Alright, calm down." I spoke up for Mary's sake.

"I dunno Darry, you weren't there. You wouldn't be able to calm down." Two-bit stated as Mary walked out of the bathroom. She looked much better, I wondered if she felt it.

Everyone got silent and it was clear they had been talking about her.

"Morning Marbear!" Two-bit sang.

"What are you on?" Mary laughed slightly.

"Some chick magnet you are." Dallas laughed.

"Who wants eggs?" I asked from the stove. I didn't get as big of a response as usual, but I made and extra few anyway.

"Can I copy your biology too?"

"Yeah, there's alot of it. It's in the textbook." Mary called across the room. I heard her briefly talking to Johhny and Pony. She had a different tone with them. It was more gentle and easy going. She use to have that tone with me. Maybe under ordinary circumstances she would have them again.

"Hey Pepsi!" Steve called from the floor. He was wrestling Two-bit and loosing. I laughed at the sight of a fight. I could hand both of their asses to them!

Mary came back in and stepped over them walking to the fridge. I assumed she was making Pony's lunch. The guys got bored of fighting and were standing up hovering by this point.

"What Two-bit?" She snapped.

"Geese, you're no fun." Two-bit backed up.

"Evie's the same way, they're both on the rag." Steve answered. There were somethings a big brother would never be comfortable with, and that was one of them.

"Oh real mature!" Angela spat out.

"Are you almost done copying?" Mary stood up and walked over to the coffee pot. I didn't think she deserved a hard time from me today.

"You know Mary, no one has said what happened after the fuzz came yesterday." Dallas kicked his feet up.

"The fuzz, what happened?" Angela asked as Pony sat down beside her eating his eggs and drinking his milk.

"Oh, you really don't know! Mary, you didn't tell your friend what all has happened last night because of her brother?" Dallas pushed too far.

"Knock it off Dall." Soda asked.

"Mar, what happened? Is that why you left school early? It has something to do with Curly?" Angela was looking up from the notes now.

"Leaving school, Mary, you left school?" I had to intervene.

"Nice one Angela!" Steve mocked.

"Sorry, I thought he knew!" Angela made her eyes really wide.

"Hurry up and copy it will ya?" Mary didn't seem to phased by what all was being said.

"Hey Mary?" Pony asked as she put on her shoe. "I was reading your old english papers you gave me, to help me with mine, and they are really good. Why didn't you ever tell me about them?" Pony asked.

"Most people don't care about English, or they are like Two-bit and just don't go to English!" Dally added.

"Hey, I speak it don't I?" Two-bit swatted at Dally was was reading for a peace of toast. Dally pushed Two-bit at the exact time Pony was standing up with his milk in his hand. Pony's milk falls all over Mary's math and biology.

"Hey!" Angela stood up getting away from the milk.

"Pony!" Darry scolded.

"That was not me!" Pony pointed at Dally and Two-bit.

"Name one thing you of mine you haven't messed up!" Mary said coldly walking out the front door leaving all of her books on the table.

"You all can really be ass holes you know that?" Angela left to catch up.

"What just happened?" Soda came around the corner.

"Man she's hot tempered lately!" Dally laughed. I wanted to punch him just then.

"It wouldn't kill any of you to apologize to her. You did get the police called to her work you know." I reminded cleaning up an other mess.

"We are suppose to apologize for defending her!"

**** Let me know what everyone is thinking: likes, dislikes, positives, negatives.


	16. Chapter 16

."Morning class," Mrs Black greeted as the bell rang. Her voice made my skin crawl. "How did the reading go last night? Anyone have any questions?" She asked almost rhetorically. She had a bad way of not really answering the questions you asked.

"Good, let's take a quiz," She started to write on the board. I wasn't really feeling well and I didn't know how I was going to live through that class.

"Can we use our notes?" Angela asked behind me.

"If you took any you can!" She sang. I wanted to stab her. It was teachers like her that increased the drop out rate.

"Mary, no notes?" She singled me out.

I looked at her like she was an idiot. "I don't have them with me." I finally answered when she continued to stare at me with her bug eyes.

"Let me guess, your dog ate it?" She mocked me.

"Bitch," One of the guys coughed out behind.

"Who said that?" She shrieked. I wish I knew so I could thank them.

I put my head down on my desk and waited for everyone to finish their quizzes. I told myself that I didn't care.

The bell rang and I got out of the class fast.

"Mary, wait up!" Ang called after me. I stopped and waited.

"There's no hurry it's just math." Tony snickered.

"Wanna skip?" I stopped walking.

"Can't, I've already missed too many days, you can't either, you missed yesterday." She reminded me.

"Who are you, her mother?" Tony spat pulling out a cigarette. "Oh shit," he realized as he pulled out his lighter.

"You are an ass you know that?" Angela elbowed him.

"Sorry," he mumbled taking a long blow.

"You looking to get yourself suspended dumb ass?" Steve laughed at Tony's light cigarette.

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes putting it out on his arm.

"That's gross!" Angela squealed and walked ahead. I laughed gently following her.

"Planning on joining us gentlemen?" Mrs. Lane asked them. They both came in the class. Steve sat behind me and Tony sat to my left. Angela was on my right.

The teacher started preaching and I could not keep myself awake. I leaned my head against my knee and started to doze off. It wasn't unusual; the last few weeks I had been especially tired. I wasn't bothering anyone. In my science class Two-bit slept everyday. Angela was always playing with her hair, and Tony didn't know how to pay attention if his life depended on it. Steve always paid at least enough attention to get by. I usually did the same, but I was past my caring point and well on my way to I don't give a rat's ass.

Out of know where I heard a snap and I was impressed that I did not pee on myself.

"I don't know how you were raised Ms Curtis, but in my class I expect respect; so I'm wondering, are you ill?" Mrs Lane yelled.

"What?" I managed to say with my head was spinning.

"I can't think of a reason as to why you would be sleeping unless you were sick. Or are you just use to being a disruption?"

"Uh-" I still had no idea what she was talking about.

"You were quite a disruption yesterday at lunch, and then you didn't even bother to show up to your classes after."

"What the hell?" Steve looked my way and I turned and looked to Angela.

"Take you homework out." She told everyone.

"Where's Two-bit?" I asked Steve.

"At your place with Johnny." He answered not even trying to whisper.

"Is Tim working today?" I leaned towards Angela.

"Yeah," she told me. "Why?"

"What about Curly did he come to school?"

"I don't know!" She was no help. I quietly stood up and walked out of the classroom.

"As much as you think you can go and come as you please, you can't. Walk through those doors and you aren't coming back!" The teacher called to me.

"Actually, she is just following orders! Yesterday our meeting was cut short so, Mary agreed to come back today. The only time I could meet was right now. She has the pass I gave her. She's required to come!" I stood with my mouth dropped open. A teacher lying, wasn't that against everything they stand for?

"Come on Mary," She opened her arms as if she was waiting on a hug or something. I followed her back to her office with out saying a word.

"I think we should start over, what do you think?" She paused and looked at me.

"I guess." I agreed. I still could not wrap my head around her saving my ass.

"I am Ms. Smith, and I want you to know that you are not in trouble. Anything you tell me stays between you and me. Do you understand what I mean?" She looked at me again.

"Yes." I didn't know what it was with teachers thinking eye contact was a good thing, but they are wrong. It makes everyone uncomfortable.

"I know you think that the person who came to talk to me had ulterior motives, which may be true, but regardless I am here to listen."

"I don't have much to talk about." I finally said something.

"Well, let's start by breaking the ice. How did it feel when I showed up at lunch or when I showed up at your classes?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"I know you do. You were pissed! Don't act like you weren't!" She egged me on.

"So, it embarrassed you?"

"I guess."

"Let's make a deal. You come to see me every so often and in return I will not hunt you down. When I see you I will act like I do not know you." I nodded my head.

"What was up with Mrs. Black? She sure seemed to be down your throat!"

"She's always like that, never to me though." I added.

"Yeah, does she usually like you?"

"Yeah, because I stay quiet." I laughed a little.

"Oh, most teachers are like that. I was never quiet in school, so my teachers never liked me!" She smiled then kept talking. "What made her get mad today?"

" I wasn't paying attention, no one else was either." I didn't know why I was talking to her. She seemed friendly it was just a normal conversation and I hadn't had one in a while.

"I hate it when that happens, singling people out."

"Yeah, then she asked for our homework that I did, but I didn't have and I knew she would just get mad." I laughed gently.

"She did seem pretty angry. What happened to your homework?"

"My brother spilled his milk on it this morning."

"Oh no!" she exaggerated a gasp.

"He didn't mean to."

"Of course not, what brother?"

"Pony," I told her and she wrote it down. That made me nervous.

"What did Darry do?" She asked.

"When?"

"When Pony spilt the milk." She clarified.

"Nothing."

"Did that make you angry?" She squinted at me. I wondered what made her so clueless.

"No," I looked at her like she had three heads. I was starting to get annoyed with her.

"Do you think that your family is too reliant on you?" She looked at me, and I gave her a puzzled look. She must have noticed because she quickly changed the subject.

"Do you want to go to college?" When I didn't answer right away she continued to talk. "Remember, there is no judgment."

"I won't go to college." I answered finally. I thought about that for several minutes.

"But do you want to. Is it something you would have wanted to do before?" She rephrased.

"I doubt it. I always knew Darry would, but I don't know."

"Why did you know Darry would?"

"He's a football star first of all, and second he's pretty much as smart as Pony." I smiled thinking about watching him at games.

"You didn't think that you would follow in his foot steps?" She wrote something down again.

"I don't really see myself as the college type ma'am."

"What do you think the college type is?"

"Smart, rich, and successful I guess. I don't know." I was sick of her.

"You say you don't know, but I think you do." She reminded me.

"Why couldn't you go to college? I've looked over your grades, you have done very well Mary." She placed them on the table.

"I've got other things I need to do ma'am." I added a little attitude. She was pissing me off.

"Like what?" She fidgeted with her bracelet.

"I have a job, friends, and a family here. I can't just pack up and leave. It ain't right."

"But don't you think that your parents would have wanted you to take your life to the next level: to experience new things and to find yourself. They wouldn't want you to limit yourself, would they?" She touched my hand.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't think you really know what you are talking about! All this talk about college when my brother gave up his college! I'd do the same thing he did." I stood up starting to leave.

She quickly got in my way.

"I'm not saying that college is what you should do, I am saying it is an option. I am trying to get you to realize that things will get better, and it is okay to get excited about the future."

"Like what?" I snickered. All I saw in our future was a long school year and a lot of work over the summer.

" I think you feel guilty for Darry staying home, and I think you punish yourself for it everyday, that's not a good way to live. Mary, please, sit down." She stayed in front of the door. I didn't know how to respond. My heart was beating so fast and I felt like I was on fire.

"Mary, Darry loves you. That is why he postponed college. He wants what's best for you."

"I am old enough to take care of myself, he didn't need to make any sacrifices for me."

"Someone needs to take care of you Mary, you need to let someone in, what's the harm in taking help?"

"I take help when I need it!"

"When are you gonna say you need help? When you completely hit rock bottom? You have to realize the past to be able to move on. I can help!" She half hugged me trying to lead me away from the door.

"I am fine, please let me leave." I took a step. I had to fight hard not to cry.

"Fine, but remember our deal? You'll come by next week on your own." The second she stopped talking I walked out the door. That lady was going to drive me crazy. I whipped my hands on my pants as I debated going to class or leaving. It wasn't a hard decision. I walked out the doors the same way I did yesterday. I didn't feel quite as bad as I did yesterday I was just exhausted. I probably looked like hell too.

"Curtis!" I heard a sharp call. I jumped slightly when I heard it. I turned my head to see who was calling me.

"Skipping again? I might have been willing to let it slide if you hadn't done it yesterday too!" The principle came up behind me as I was sanding on the stairs.

"Let's go to my office to continue this conversation, shall we?" He pointed. Right on cue my stomach started to hurt, and I lost the little of the food I had eaten in the bushes hardly a foot from the principle.

"Oh dear, are you okay?" He hurried over to me.

"I wasn't skipping sir, I'm not feeling well." I stood back up and let out a cough that hurt my head.

"Let's go sit down." He gently placed his hand on my back. People were so touchy and feely.

"Have a seat Mary," he opened his door for me. I sat down silently.

"I can see that you are not feeling well, but you do know the rules, don't you?" I nodded.

"I didn't call home yesterday when you missed you classes because I thought you could use some slack, but I feel like twice in a row is extreme. Does Darry know you are sick?" He was searching through papers for my file I assumed.

"I don't think so sir," I answered wondering how the hell I was going to explain this.

"I am disappointed in you Mary. Your family is my favorite family in this school, and stunts like this are not why!"

"Yes sir." I said monotone. I wanted to tell him that we are down two people, so are we still his favorite? I rubbed my eyes that were likely to fall out of my head as he picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is Henry Calvin from Tulsa High. I'm calling to talk to Darry Curtis. Yes, I can wait." I felt my heart start to race as I sat in silence. Why was Darry home?

"Uh, yes Darry? Hi, this is Henry Calvin from Tulsa High. No, I'm calling about Mary actually. Yes, really. Yesterday Mary left school without permission, and considering the circumstances I was going to look the other way, but today when I saw her again I knew I had to put a stop to it. She did tell me she wasn't feeling well, she got sick, and she does look pretty bad. I just need someone to come pick her up. No she's not in any real trouble. I'm not going to write her down or anything. I think she just needs to use the weekend to get her head on straight. Okay, I will send her to meet you at the front of the school. You take care Darry, you hear?" He hung up the phone and looked back at me.

"He said he would pick you up in the front in five minutes." I nodded my head. "Mary, I know being the principal makes it hard to trust me, but my door is always open." He stood up with me.

"Thank you sir," I walked out the door. I knew he was trying to be nice, but I really had hit my limit with the sympathetic gestures. I walked out to the front of the school and saw a car that was not Darry's truck, and I put the pieces together.

"I have to give it to you Two-bit. You even had me going." I opened the door.

"What can I say, I am that good! Need a ride toots?" He revved the engine. I got in and told myself I was going to make sure he doesn't think that I am sick. He can be such a wuss when it comes to being sick. He would go running to Darry for sure. That was a bridge I didn't want to cross.

"Two days in a row young lady!" Two-bit fake yelled.

"To hell with this place, lets goo!"

"There's my Curtis!" He laughed and turned up the radio. "You either gotta get better at sneaking around, or start paying me doll." He told me as we parked the car.

"Is that so?" I asked un amused.

"Yeah, you are getting sloppy!" He pushed the door open. "But I will hand it to you, convincing him that you are sick takes skill. Usually he makes you vomit in front of him before he will believe you." Two-bit went on and on with his story.

I tuned him out when we walked into Johnny in the house.

"How's it going Johnny?" I smiled as I walked by him.

"You feeling okay Mary, Two-bit said the principal said you were sick." Johnny looked concerned.

"Naw Johnny, she just had the principal warped around her finger!" Two-bit continued.

"I need you both to keep your traps shut. I don't need Darry, Soda, Steve, Dallas, or Pony knowing okay? Don't read into it yourselves either." I told them before walking back to my room.

I locked my door for the first time in ages. I couldn't even remember the last time I locked my door, but I needed sleep. I pushed a chair to the door also. I pulled my skirt and my shirt off and pulled my Dad's sweat shirt on. I had the sweatshirt before he died, but it still smelt like him. I pulled the hood on and slept like a rock.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey guys," I called walking in the front door with Soda behind me.

"Hey," Two-bit and Johnny both said.

"Where's Pony?" I asked putting his toolbox down.

"In my room." Pony called.

"He would be doing his homework on a Friday!" Steve gently mocked.

"Come on Steve." Soda pleaded.

"Where's Mary?" Soda asked walking towards Pony.

"In her room." Two-bit answered.

"Everyone's so quiet!" Steve complained.

"It's nice," I commented as he walked to the bathroom.

"It's weird!" Two-bit disagreed.

I took a hot shower trying to ease the pain in my back. I wasn't use to working on a roof everyday yet. I'd have to get Soda to help give me a massage. I was sure he had plans with Sandy, I'm happy for him. It makes me wish that I could find me a girl. There was no time, and I was too tired anyway.

I turned the water off and grabbed a towel on the door. I wrapped myself in the towel and walked to my room to get clean clothes. I was pretty sure Mary had just washed the clothes too, so I was pretty sure they would be on my bed. Two-bit whistled as I walked out in my towel, but I didn't care. Four weeks ago I would have flicked him off. Four weeks ago I didn't have a thirteen year old watching my every move.

There they were, what would I do without her. I pulled them on and walked back to the living room. Pony was watching T.V. and Steve and Two-bit had left.

"Where'd everyone go?" I asked opening the fridge then sitting heavily into my chair.

When Pony didn't answer Johnny spoke up, "They went to get ready for tonight." I nodded. I was sure their girl friends were tired of them being over here all of the time.

"What are you guys doing tonight?" I raised an eye brow wanting a beer. I hadn't drunk one since they died. I hadn't really had the time to be honest.

"Want to catch a movie Johnny?"

"I don't know man," he shook his head. Poor kid was still awfully shaken up. He still hadn't left since he got beaten up. His parents hadn't come lookin for him neither.

Soda came out of the bathroom about the same time Sandy opened the front door.

"How's it going everyone?" Sandy smiled. She sure was nice.

"Hey Sandy," Pony walked around Johnny to his room. Johnny followed him.

"Have a seat Sandy. Soda's just getting himself clean up. Excuse the mess." It wasn't really too bad, but I had a feeling her house was spotless.

"Oh please, it's fine!" She didn't seem to mind. "Is Mary here?"

"Yeah, she's in her room. Just go on back." A minute later she returned.

"She didn't let you in?" I looked up when she returned.

"Hey Babe, sorry you are waiting!" Soda came out of the bathroom in a towel. He kissed her forehead.

"Soda, put some clothes on!" I rolled my eyes. I was grinning on the inside, he was so high on life, I loved it. The guys all walked in as I was walking back to see what Mary was doing. She had been acting off the last two days.

"Mary?" I knocked on the door. I waited a long few seconds then knocked again. "Hey, can I come in?" I reached for the door nob and realized that the door was locked. She never locked her door!

"Is everything okay?" I asked again.

"Soda!" I called to him. Something didn't feel right. Soda came over to me in pants but no shirt.

"Have you seen Mary today?"

"No, when I got home she was in her room. I heard her moving around though. I figured she's still mad at me. I'm gonna wait until tomorrow to let things settle before I apologize." He pulled on his pants and started to put on his shirt.

"She locked the door, I can't figure out why she would do that. She's not answering either." I knocked again fiercer.

Sandy and Steve came back to see what we were doing followed by Dally who already had a beer in his hand.

"What's going on?"

"Mary locked us out." Soda told Steve

"Just knock it down. It wouldn't even break the door." He shook it playing with the door nob.

"Are you kidding? We are not breaking the door. She will come out eventually!" Soda laughed. I didn't, I wanted to know what she was doing.

"Something could be wrong Soda." I tried to reason with him.

"Or, she could just be mad at us. I'm not sure I blame her!" Soda defended.

"All I'm saying is something is off!"

"I have nothing to do with this. Break her door fine, but just add it to the list of reasons she is mad." Soda grabbed Sandy's hand.

It took two seconds and the door was smashing into a chair on the inside. Mary shot up like a firework.

"What the hell?" She yelled.

"Are you okay?" She looked like hell. Her hair was a disaster, she was practically naked, and she was looking awfully pale.

"You just broke my door! She stood up clearly not caring that she was basically naked.

"Don't get your panties in a wad, it is easy to put back on!" Dally contributed.

"Why did you lock you door, and put a chair up?" I had to look away. Seing my sister like that made me uncomfortable

"I was getting something off my dresser and I couldn't reach so I got a chair. I was behind my door, and I didn't want one you morons to open the door while I was standing behind it. I guess I forgot to unlock it. You just broke my door!" She yelled again.

I didn't even know how to respond. She picked up some clothes off the bed and walked out of the room. "Fix it."

I didn't know what was with everyone thinking they could walk around in minimal clothing.

"What just happened?" Pony came out of his room. "Mary, where are you," Pony started.

"Don't Pony," Steve cut him off. I didn't even know when Steve came in.

"I can put it back on princess, just let me get the tool box. Not sure what the big deal is." Dally was actually being nice.

"Wait Mary!" I called to her. She ignored me.

"Blondie," Two-bit hollered from the living room.

"What?" She asked relatively calm.

"Angela's on the phone."

She pulled her sweatshirt down and walked over to the phone. She talked while I watched Dallas put the door back. When I turned around she was in the bathroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is she okay?" Pony asked. He looked beyond confused.

"Oh yeah, we just ain't too high on her list right now." Two-bit snickered.

"I've never been too high on her list, and I'm alright." Dallas added sitting back down.

"Are we going out buddy?" Steve opened the screen door. "I've been outside for five minutes!"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." He didn't sound so sure. "You ready babe?" Soda asked me  
>"Maybe we should hang around until she comes out?" I whispered to him. I looked up to Darry then to the bathroom door.<p>

"I dunno Sandy," he sighed.

"Come on! What's the hold up?" Steve came all the way in.

"Soda," I spoke softly.

"We'll have to meet you there Steve." Soda told him.

"You owe me man!" Steve left in a huff. I didn't really blame him. He often had a temper, I had no idea why. He got mad about the silliest things, but at the same time he treated Evie real nice

"Well hell Steve, I'll come," Dallas left with Two-bit following.

I watched a tired Darry sink into a chair in the kitchen.

"What happened Soda?" Pony nudged Soda beside me.

"I don't really know." Soda scratched his head. I could tell Pony was irritated by Soda blowing him off.

"I'll go talk to her." I kissed Soda's check as I stood up. I knocked on the bathroom door then opened it. Mary was in the shower, but I knew she heard me.

"Pretty sure this is against the law." She called to me.

"Doubtful." I responded. She pulled the curtain back still covering her, but she could seem me. I put the seat down on the toilette and sat down.

"Soda, Steve, Evie, and I are going to the drive in. Soda will probably get board so we will go off on our own, but I doubt we will be anywhere near Buck's." I let out a sigh. I knew she wouldn't start talking. If I didn't know better, up until a few days ago, I would have guessed that Mary was mute.

"That doesn't mean that one way or an other word won't get around about the party, especially with Sylvia being there." I added. "Why are you guys friends again?"

"She's sometimes friends with Angela." Mary turned the shower off.

"Why are you friends with Angela?"

"Sandy." She wasn't in a chatty mood.

"What if Soda finds out?" I told her bluntly.

"Finds out what?" She acted like she actually didn't know what I was talking about.

"Finds out what you do!" I whispered.

"What's that?" She didn't seem to believe me.

"The crazy stuff! People talk you know!" I warned.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"They are going to catch you and then it is going to hurt them, I think they've gone through enough hurt Mary." I tried to get through to her. What she was doing was more than just social drinking. Angela was to blame.

"I don't tell you how to live you life Sandy." she told me.

"I don't have people who depend on me." I turned around so she could get dressed.

I wasn't asking for her pity, but I didn't think she understood that, even though she had a curve ball thrown at her, she still has so much. She didn't respond, typical. I wasn't expecting her to; I didn't go in there to be a hero and to fix her life.

"Mary, I really love Soda." I knew I could get her attention. "He's not as strong as you. It's easy for you to be there for Darry because you are both so alike: soft spoken, tough, and all that. Pony leans on Soda hard. I know you know what I mean. So, Soda needs you to be around, for when he's ready." I felt like I was painting her a picture.

She opened the bathroom door and started to walk out, "you won't find anyone like him."

The words hit me like an avalanche: hard and unexpected. She was right. I needed to talk to Soda. Shit.

A/N I read it twice to make sure the POV's matched up! Hope it's better. Quick question; I want to make a reference to Mary as younger child. I know Title 9 was not in place yet, so I am wondering if there are any sports she could have participtaed in? Gymnastics? I researched it, but I did not get a straight forward answer.

Question, Comments, Concerns!


	17. Chapter 17

"Hello there Darling, I haven't seen you recently." I nodded at her as she walked over to the bar.

"Hey," she returned a quick response.

"You get ditched by your girly friends?" I called across the counter taking the tips off .

"Yeah, I shoulda known." She smiled looking over to Angela who was all over some guy. I had seen him often he wasn't a keeper.

She leaned up against the counter distraught. Even a heartless guy would have sympathy for her. "Here, you look like you could use one." I handed her a drink.

"That obvious huh?" She almost looked embarrassed. She picked it up and drank it hard. Man that broad can handle alcohol.

"What?" She asked when I started to laugh.

"Nothing," I went back to working.

"Buck, get me something to help cool her off," Dallas came to the left motioning to his new girl.

"You think something hard will get you lucky with her tonight?" I poured him a drink. Leave it to Dallas; he only ever had one thing on his mind: getting up someone's skirt.

"It better, swear she seems to be more work than she's worth!" He grabbed it and threw a few bucks onto the table. I rolled my eyes, she was living the life.

"Come on Baby, I got this special for you." Dallas handed it to her.

"Hope it's not too strong!" She said in her aggravating voice. It gave me chills. It was the high pitched, whiney crap.

"You know I wouldn't do that." He kissed her.

"Yeah," She took a sip then put it down.

"Let's go upstairs," he kept kissing her.

"You've gotta be up early, I don't want you to be tired." She leaned back away from him.

"Don't fuss over me, I can take care of myself." He got hasty. There was nothing Dallas hated more was being fawned over.

"I know, I know, I just worry!" She followed him. I smirked. The bastard certainly had a way with girls.

"You believe that." I pointed to them. Mary looked to where I was pointing.

"Nothing surprises me, especially him." She shrugged putting her empty drink back on the table.

"Especially her," I added.

"I'd love to get that refilled for you miss." A guy came up behind her._Miss _I thought to myself.

I refilled it and placed it in front of her giving her a wink. She was a catch.

"Well thanks." She turned around to face him.

"No, thank you, you sure make the rest of the girls look silly." He put a hand the back of her chair.

"Name's Travis," he tipped his hat, "what's yours?" He put out his hand.

"Mary," she answered taking it. He kissed it and then placed it back on the table. Where was this fellow from?  
>"I moved here a few months back, and I'm sure I've never seen you around here. You new?" He took a sip of his drink.<p>

"Uh no, I've been here my whole life." She smiled. She had a killer smile.

"Well, where have you been?" He laughed. "Care to dance?"

"Oh no, I have to be a lot drunker for that!"

"Why's that?"

"Just `cause." She responded emotionless.

"Do you trust me?" He asked her.

"I just met you!" She laughed.

"Then I guess you have no reason not to trust me, right? I haven't done anything to loose you trust."

"I guess not." She shrugged.

"Let's dance. Trust me!" He helped her up.

"After, you buy me an other drink." She looked at him again.

"Who could say no to that smile." He motioned me to an other drink. I didn't usually listen too hard to people's conservations, but what can I say, there wasn't much going on.

They talked for close to an hour as she finished her third drink. I watched to see if she was starting to feel the boos, but as it got later more and more people came in.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I love this song!" Mary touched my arm as she finished her drink.

"Really, I didn't take you for a slow music type." I disagreed.

"Why's that?" She giggled.

"You seem to be awfully loose and relaxed, I see you more of a Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, Rolling Stones kinda gal."

"Only when noone's listening!" She smiled and grabbed my hand. "let's dance."

"Ma'am yes ma'am." I followed her out. We danced for a while, and as the next slow song came on I pulled her in close. He long blond hair brushed against my face. It smelled nice. Most girls put so much gunk in their hair it didn't smell as nice, but Mary's, hers, smelt like spring time.

"You aren't like most girls I've met Mary," I told her as I spun her and pulled her back in.

"What makes me so different?"

"Everything." I responded looking into her eyes. She leaned in expecting a kiss.

"Mary, wait." I stepped back.

"Mar-Bear!" Someone shrieked from behind us.

"Two-bit, what are you doing here?" She let go of me and was tackled in a hug.

"What! I was the one telling you to come to Buck's!" He was loud and annoying. "What are you doing here!"

"Came for a good time, I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Mary was trying to get rid of him.

"Hell Mary, it is tomorrow, and I plan to sleep until yesterday!" He elbowed me laughing. Either I missed the joke, or it just wasn't funny.

He did finally leave, and I could sense Mary was uncomfortable.

"I think I better get going," She pulled away from me.

"Do you think we could go for a walk? It sure is a beautiful night. Not many like this where I'm from." I held her hand. She walked out with me.

"It sure is nice. I still can't get over all of the stars." I made small talk, and she knew it.

"Travis, I think I should," she started talking, but I interrupted her.

"I believe I owe you an explanation." I told her as I offered her my arm. She took it tentatively.

"It isn't that I don't want to kiss you, I certainly would like to, I don't want to be that guy." I clarified.

"What guy?"

"The guy who you had a grand ole time with then never hear from him again."

"To be honest, that is how it usually goes." She told me.

"To be honest I don't know where I am going to be next week, next moth, and next year. I did not want to lead you on." We kept walking.

"You were not, so you are off the hook." I didn't look at her, but I was sure she was smiling.

"I believe that is the little dipper, so that must be the North Star." I pointed.

"I don't know much about stars," she looked in the direction I pointed.

"They fascinate me." We looked for a little while then kept walking.

"Tell me about yourself Mary." I asked.

"Hm, I feel like the less you know the better." She paused.

"Why's that?" I curiously asked.

"I guess you can say Tulsa is small and has its disadvantages."

"I find that hard to believe. I have been here since Summer and I just now met you." I disagreed.

"I guess you could say I just recently started going to Bucks as often."

"Ah, strict parents?" We slowed down our walking pace.

"Not exactly," she looked like she was going to explain, but when she didn't I intercepted.

"Right, the less I know the better. Would it be okay for me to walk you home?" I offered.

"What time is it?" She asked me.

"Nearly one." He answered.

"We can walk back to Buck's. I'd like that."

"Me too," I agreed.

"You could always tell me about yourself." She suggested.

"Well, I'm an open book. Ask away." I'm smiled at her.

"Where are you from?"

"I was born in New York, I just moved here from California."

"You move here with your whole family?"

"No, my family is still in New York." I was worried she was hitting to close to home.

"What made you move to Tulsa?"

"It's your turn to tell me something about your self!" I suggested.

"Like what?" She seemed skeptical.

"You say you've been here all your life, what do you do?"

"Uhm, I work in a Diner. I don't usually tell that to strangers, but what the hell." She laughed. I laughed too; her laugh was contagious.

"What Diner?" I asked.

"The less-"

"I know the better, silly me." I finished her sentence. We got closer to Buck's and she stopped to face me.

"You sure you are good in there?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." She seemed confident.

"It's been nice Mary. I'd like to see you again." I took her hand.

"I'd like that too." She looked at me in the eyes for the first time for a split second.

"It's Travis Saint Claire, Mary. I don't want to be a stranger anymore." I told her.

"The less you know the better, but I work at the Dingo." She kissed my cheek then disappeared inside.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Little late to the party aren't ya Mary?" I asked her as she walked in the bar.

"What are you talking about? The night is young!" She shot me down.

"Oh, is that so?" I laughed. "I'll have another, want one?" I asked Mary.

"Aren't you a gentleman!" She put her arm around me.

"How many does this make?" I handed it to her.

"What are you talking about?" She brushed me off I gave it to her anyway.

"Mary, well look at you baby, looking fine!" Some guy yelled to her.

"Duty calls Tim!" She walked away.

"Well I'll be damned." I laughed. She knew how to have a good time. She sat on some guys lap across the room. A bunch of people surrounded them.

I looked around myself to see if there was anyone around who could make my night worthwhile. I spotted a brunette at the bar across from me and started to walk over.

"Hey good look'n, you sure are cook`n." I leaned in and whispered in her ear. I saw her tense up, and I knew It was a successful hit.

"Aw ain't that classy." She grinned at me.

"What does a guy have to do to get a girl to give him some attention?" I kept playing.

"For starters, stop using such crappy pick up lines!" A familiar voice said behind me.

"Angela!" I stepped back.

"Tim!" She matched me.

"Ruining everything since birth," I muttered walking away. My pride was damaged just then.

As I started to call it a night I saw Mary with her legs crossed over someone as he lead her upstairs. Two things in one night I didn't want to see.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He opened the door and let me down on the bed he pulled his shirt off and laid on top of me. We kissed passionately until I rolled on top of him and he pulled my shirt off.

"You're on fire tonight Mary!" He whispered as he unhooked my bra as I pulled off my left boot.

"Your not too bad yourself." I told him as he unzipped my skirt, flung it across the room, and reached for the right boot.

"Alright, don't forget where you throw all of this!" I kissed him again.

One way or an other I ended up on the bottom again as he pulled his pants off.

"It's offly hot in here ain't it?" He asked walking over to the window. It was sticking so he had to hit it hard several times.

"Where'd you get this room from anyway?" I asked as he struggled.

"Dallas Winston. He owes me. I bailed his ass out of jail." I sat up fast.

"This is Dallas' room?" I repeated.

"Sure is doll face."

"I can't have sex in Dallas' room!" I pulled the sheets off of me.

"Why the hell not?" He didn't seem amused.

"I know him! I can't get the image of-"I grabbed my bra.

"Are you kidding me? Since when are you bashful!" He laid back on the bed.

"Since I've known him for forever, and he and Sylvia have probably shacked up in here hundreds of time in this room." I put my shirt on.

"So, when he gave me his room he know what was going to happen!" he grabbed my wrist.

"It's not casual anymore when I can't leave what happened behind. I would be leaving them behind in Dally's room!" I pulled away. It's like having sex in your Grandma's room." I explained.

"I'm not sure how Dallas is like my Grandmother," he disagreed.

"It just is!" I picked up my boots and slipped them on."Isn't there some place we can go?" I kissed him.

"No, my car's in the shop." He tried to pull me to the bed.

"I can't." I walked out and down the stairs with my shoes barely on. I was ready to get the hell out of this place.

"Mary?" Tim walked past me as I was closing the door.

"Damn." I mutter.

"Dally wasn't the guy I saw carry you up there." He noted.

"You keeping tabs on me now?" I walked by him.

"Should I be?"

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I started down the stairs and saw Two-bit was passed out on the couch at the end of the room. I would have killed for a magic marker just then.

"Answering a question with a question is never a good thing." He followed me out of the door. "You walking home?"

"Yeah, your sister was my ride over here unless you know where she is." I paused.

"How am I suppose to know?" He laughed.

"So I'm the only one you keep tabs on? Don't know if I should be flattered or creped out?"

"Don't flatter yourself. Darry's my buddy, I don't want to see him hurt; any more I mean." He had to put in the last word.

" You too? Sandy gave me that same speech about Soda. Tell me, what am Idoing that is so wrong? It wasn't Dally! I didn't even know it was his room, and when I found I made sure we didn't do anything! It's just a fling, I don't even know his name!" I walked and he followed me.

"Well, I don't know what you are talking about, but I was saying I didn't want you to hurt Darry by getting hurt yourself. You know, by walking around in the middle of the night alone!" He looked confused, then laughed at my expression.

I had a blank expression across my face and I felt stupid.

"Oh, right, we'll I'm gonna get going on that note." I left before he could say anything else. Man, I felt like and idiot. It wasn't a long walk, but it would be long enough to get my heart to stop pounding and myself time to get it all together. There was no telling who would be up.

I got to our gate close to two. When I didn't hear it click behind me I turned to see what the gate got hung on. I was close to our steps when I saw a man.

My heart felt like it was going to fly out of my chest.

"I'm here for my son. Where the hell is my son?" He shouted. I just froze. I didn't know who he was. It wasn't like Johnny's dad to come look for him.

"You can't keep him!" He yelled again. I tried to keep walking to the door, I even opened it slightly, but he got even louder.

"I made him mad, kicked him out, but he always comes back! It's been two days, where the hell is he!"

"Mr Randel?" I put the pieces together.

"What!" he continued to yell.

"He's not here. Last I heard he was at the Shepard's house." I actually didn't know where he was, but I knew if I gave him some place else to go he would probably give up and go home.

"You are lying to me girl! I was just there!" He came closer. I opened our front door and stepped in quickly. I tried to close the door behind me, but we had a rock in front of the door to keep it open. I couldn't get the rock moved in time.

"I just need to talk to him!" He talked loudly again. At this point I could tell if he was drunk and mad.

I turned on the light switch hoping like hell Johnny wasn't on the couch.

"Why don't you go on home and I will leave him a message." I tried. I was getting a little nervous. I had no idea how to deal with him

"I'm not leaving with out him!"

"Mr Randel," I tried to block him from coming in.

"Get out of my way! Only a fool gets in the way of a father and his child."

"You're going to wake everyone up!" I shushed him. With that he pushed me put of the way my left arm caught the door and hit it next to the wall and my hear hit a picture frame knocking itself and two others to the floor. By this time Soda, Steve, and Dary were all in the living room.

"Mary, you good?" Soda squatted beside me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I stood up.

"What are you doing, dad?" Steve asked. I felt like Soda, Steve, and Darry could handle what ever was going on.

I walked back to my room and saw Johnny trembling in the dark on my bed.

"Hey Johnnycakes, it's just Steve's dad. He didn't know where Steve was and it scared him is all."

Johnny didn't even comprehend what I was saying he was just shaking something awful.

"Dar's gonna fix it, I promise. Whenever you are here you are safe. Think about it, nothing bad ever happens here. There's always someone here who can help, Darry, Dally, Two-bit, Steve, Pony, Soda, and I wouldn't let anything happen to you." I knelt down beside him. I moved my hand to his and he jerked it back. I think it scared me more than it scared him.

"Shh, easy Johnny. Easy, buddy." I cooed. "I'm gonna turn this lamp on beside you okay?" I reached over and turned it on. I was hoping that would help him calm down.

"That better?"

"Mary, you are bleeding." He pointed to my arm. I looked down and was a little surprised. It was a steady flow considering it didn't hurt at all.

"It's not a big deal, don't worry about it none." I listened hoping he was gone so I could get a towel. I looked at my doorknob and saw one hanging.

"Perfect," I said out loud reaching to get it. "Don't look," I told him as I changed clothes quickly.

"I messed up coming in this late. Usually I'll just stay at Angela's when It's this late, but I'm pretty sure she was getting busy or something because I had no idea where she was. Hope I don't make Darry too mad." I sighed sitting back on the bed.

"Wanna hear a story?" I asked I knew he wasn't really listening so I didn't mind telling him.

"Tonight at Buck's I met a guy, and he might actually not be a total ass hole." I smiled thinking about him.

"But what's weird is, he's a gentlemen! He wasn't trying to get with me. He told me I made the rest of the girls look _silly_. He called me _miss_, and he bought me a drink, but not so that I'd get drunk. When we danced he told me I was_awfully loose and relaxed, _and he saw me_ as a Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, Rolling Stones kinda gal._ He talked about how he loved the stars; the stars Johnny! He said I wasn't like any of the other girls." I realized I sounded silly.

"It was weird, because I would have thought he was just trying to play with me head, and make me think that it was some kind of game, but he told me kissing me would be unfair because he didn't want to lead me on. He didn't know where he'd be in a week or a month. That's weird right? Most guys don't care whether they see you in a week or a month. I don't know what I'm saying, but it was just something new. I'm ready for new. New is good." I smiled sitting on the corner of my bed.


	18. Chapter 18

"I'm gonna go check on Mary, you good?" Darry asked looking at Steve and I. I nodded and he walked back to Mary's room. I watched Steve sit down on the couch. I sat beside him.

"What's going on? Did he do this to your face?" I asked as gently as I could.

He didn't respond right away.

"Come on man, It's me you are talking to."

"He's not always like that or anything." He tried to defend his dad.

"It's happened before?" I was horrified. I use to look up to his dad! My _parents_ knew his dad.

"It wasn't a big deal. It's not a big deal. It was just a bad night."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to make a big deal out of it. He just gets mad and kicks me out sometimes. It's not like Johnny's scum bag parents." I understood then. We always talked about Johnny's parents as if they were the devil themselves, and Steve didn't want us to do that about his dad.

"What happened?' I let out a long sigh. It was hard seeing your buddy in pain.

"Hell if I know. He wasn't home when I got there. No one was. I was washing clothes and cleaning the place up. I went to get food and of course we didn't have any, so I took out a beer. It was just that time when dear old dad came in. He accused me of stealing." He wasn't enjoying telling me the story. I could see it in his face.

"Could you have stopped him or got away? He really did a number on you! The guys at the DX told me your ribs are busted up." I didn't even know what I thought.

"He's my dad!" Steve got upset. "You don't get it, strength doesn't matter when it's your dad." I knew he was about to loose it.

"You're right, I don't get it, but it makes me sick." I stood up.

"I'm fine okay? It's no big deal, don't make this a big deal." Steve stood up too.

"It's a big deal when he does this to you. I'm not okay with him hurting you, why are you okay with it?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he shook it off.

"It is what it is Soda! What do you suggest I do! He's. My. Dad!" Steve got loud. I knew Darry and Pony would come out in a matter of time.

"I wish I knew." I sat back down.

"He came back for me; he said he went to the Sheppard's too, he was looking for me. He knows he went too far. It's a start Soda." He looked satisfied, so I knew there was no point in debating it.

"Alright man, if you say so." I accepted defeat.

"Yeah I do." Steve looked at me briefly. "This stays between us. Tell Darry that tomorrow. Okay?"

"Sure, if that's what you want." I agreed. I didn't know why he would want to keep stuff from his buddies, but considering how bad off Johnny is I guess I understood it some.

"Go to bed Soda, I'm not going anywhere tonight."

"We'll do something tomorrow night, okay?" I knew I could get a smile if it killed me.

"Yeah pal, tomorrow." He watched me as I walked back to out room. "and Soda, thanks."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I rolled over in my bed and touched someone's arm. I opened my eyes and saw Johnny. I sat up and had a pulsing head ache. I was trying to remember why Johnny was in my room. I walked into the hallway and saw Darry's door closed. He must still be asleep. I continued to walk into the kitchen and saw Steve on the couch.

I started to turn on the light, because I didn't care if he woke up or not; but, as I touched the switched I remembered his dad coming up last night.

"Why is it so fuzzy?" I thought out loud looking at the clock in the kitchen. It was almost 7:30, I was surprised Darry was asleep.

I turned on a pot of coffee and pulled out the eggs. As I scrambled them I also scrambled my brain. I ran through the night in my head. I remember everything that night perfectly. I remembered everything with Travis and everything I almost did at Bucks. I also remembered running into Tim, but after that it got real blurry. I don't remember how I got home, or what really happened with Steve's dad. I also didn't remember how Johnny got in my room.

"I think they are done, Mary." Darry came up behind me.

"What?" I asked by reflex.

"The eggs, I can smell them, they are done." He nudged my arm.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." I put them on a plate and poured coffee.

I sat down at the other end of the table trying to look like I wasn't confused, or maybe even hung over. _How much did I drink?_

"You came in late last night." Darry told me.

"Yeah, I messed up. I was gonna go back to Angela's, but I didn't think that was such a good idea. It was later than I realized. Sorry."

"Everything was okay right?" He asked.

"Yeah, it was low key, nothing any of you would have found fun."

"Would you tell me if it wasn't okay?" He looked up at me.

"Depends on how not okay things were I guess." I smiled and he smile in return.

"Mary." Darry changed his tone. "I know what happened with Pony the other day wasn't easy for you, and I'm sorry." He swallowed then started again.

"I'm not making excuses or justifying it I am telling you that I am sorry that you had to see it, and I am sorry that you had to get involved even if you weren't really involved. I'm also sorry that everyone came to the Diner and caused trouble. I'm sorry you've been watching everyone around the clock, I'm sorry that the last week was pure hell, but you know what I'm mostly sorry for?" He stood up.

"I'm so damn sorry that you have to pick up everyone's slack. Dishes, clothes, breakfast, dinner, cleaning, you fill in the gaps and you shouldn't have too, but Mary if you didn't we wouldn't make it and I'm so sorry for that." His voice cracked and he looked at me quickly before he walked to the bathroom.

I sat there mouth dropped, eyes huge, and heart racing. "What the hell just happened?" I said louder than I planned.

"I do believe that you just choked up Super Dope." Steve walked into the kitchen. I looked at him then looked back down. I stood up and walked to the front door.

"Where are you going?" He asked me. I ignored him and kept walking. I walked out the front door, out the gate, out of the yard, and into the street. I kept walking trying to make since of what just happened. I started to pant finding it hard to breath. I walked a little farter down the road to an old lot the gang often went to. I sat down hugged my knees to my chest.

"Shit." I said out loud. When no one responded or interrupted I said it again. "Shit." I let out an exhale enable to catch my breath. I closed my eyes and tried again, and again until I got control of myself. I wished I could look into a lake and see my own reflection and some way see my father and have him talk to me. I wished a baboon would hit me in the head with a stick and tell me not to worry about it because it was in the past. I wished I had a sign, a reason, or an explanation, that made things clearer on what I should do with everything that was going on. I let the cold wind blow across my face making my eyes water. I let the leaf that fell on my leg stay, and the bug that was getting close to my hand was unbothered. Then, I stood up and walked back to the house.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

"Morning Mary, where ya been?" I smiled as she walked in the front door.

"Getting the paper," she returned my smile. I met her and gave her a hug.

"You feel better?" I whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, I do." She kissed my cheek and I let go.

"Number two is wrong Pone," she walked by him on the floor.

"What, no its not!" He disagreed.

"How'd you do that?" I followed her to the coffee pot.

"I know everything remember?" She winked at me as Darry came out of the bathroom.

"What?"

"Nothing, Mary just knows everything. Shouldn't be surprised." I told him.

He paused for a second, "Yeah, she pretty much does." He then walked back to his room.

"I'm gonna shower then head home okay?" Steve looked at me. It thought about insisting that he wait, but I remembered I promised I wouldn't make it a big deal. "Sure thing pal." I forced myself to say.

"Want my help?" Mary asked from across the room.

"Accept defeat Ponyboy," Steve suggested. She walked over and knelt beside him.

"How's it going this morning Johnnycakes?" I swear he wasn't lookin' any better.

"Good, I think maybe I should head home soon too." Johnny surprised us.

"Uhm," I didn't even know how to respond.

"Why?" Pony interrupted me.

"Would you be okay waiting a few more days until we make sure the Socs are gonna play fair?" Mary spoke up as Darry came up.

"Who's playing fair?"

" Johnny was thinking about leaving today when Steve does, but Mary was just telling Johnny that it is better for him to hang around a few more days until we make sure all's settled." I filled Darry in. His facial expression let us all know he too wasn't okay with Johnny leaving.

"You get it now?" Mary asked Pony as Darry tilted his head to the door hinting for me to join him on the porch.

"No, not at all actually."

"What's up Darry?" I leaned against the rail.

"Is it a good idea for Steve to leave?" He asked bluntly.

"It's not exactly like we can stop him. I think he feels like he needs to be there for his dad." I suggested.

"So his dad can hurt him again? I don't think so! How long has it been going on?" Darry whispered.

"I don't know Dar, but Steve told me he wanted to take care of it, and it wasn't a big deal. Darry, he wants us to keep it between us." I told him.

"No way. The guys should know so they can keep their eyes out. Same we do for Johnny." Darry disagreed.

"Dar, its what he wants. I owe it to him to listen to what he wants. For now at least." I pleaded.

"I don't like it little buddy."

"I don't either Dar, but it is what it is. Not everyone gets good parents like we had."

"You're right, for now at least." Darry put his arm around me. I knew it was his way of comforting me with out either of us getting upset. Everyone had to walk on egg shells these days.

We walked back into the house together and our attention went to Pony and Mary.

"No, you're gonna divide." She told him.

"What, why? It's a reciprocal, so you switch and multiply. We're solving for Y anyway, X doesn't matter." Pony tried.

"You have to find one to find the other. You do multiply, but you have to divide first. Pony, I gotta get to work, can Darry help you?" She ruffled his hair and stood up.

"Yeah, sure, what's the problem?" Darry sat beside Pony.

They both started working, and at first it all went well.

"Would you look at that, they are studying together!" I nudged Johnny. He didn't say anything, but he smiled slightly.

The all of a sudden hell broke loose.

"Okay, its nine, right?" Pony asked Darry who was reading the paper. Darry looked at his work, "No, Ponyboy, it can't be nine it has to be less than zero. I don't know how else to explain this!" Darry started to get frustrated.

"You're not explaining it the way the teacher did!" Pony in return got annoyed.

"Uh Pone-" I tried to get a word in before it got worse.

"Well if the teacher taught it so well why did you need my help?" Darry put his paper down.

"I'm never gonna get it!" Pony stood up.

"Not with that attitude you won't!" Darry criticized.

"Wait Dary-" I tried again.

"It has nothing to do with attitude; I don't get it, I won't ever get it, and I will continue to fail!" Pony started to walk away.

"Wait hang on a second, fail? You have been failing, and now is the first I am hearing of it?" Darry stood up too.

"Geeze Darry, it was just a test and a quiz. It's not like I'm failing the class. Give me some slack!" Pony faced Darry.

"Slack? Slack, no, we are done with slack!" Darry shouted as Mary came back up front.

"Alright, Pony you come to work with me. I can help you during my breaks. It'll be pretty calm for a while today. When it gets crazy just walk to the DX, okay?" Mary literally got in the middle of them.

"That'll be fine." Darry nodded.

"Sounds perfect!" I tried to add some enthusiasm.

"Pony go ahead and get in the truck. I'm working a double, I should be off at 10 tonight. Want me to drive and pick you up, or do you want to pick me up? When do you get off?" I was zipping up my skirt and fixing my shirt as he talked.

"Uhm, I get off at 8. Steve's working too, and he can drive, right Steve?" I yelled to him. I knew he was around here listening.

"Yeah, I can." He agreed.

"Stay away from he Dingo, got it?" Mary pointed at me.

"I will." I promised.

"Soda, I'm not kidding around. I don't care if you have to glue Dallas' ass to a chair keep him far away from the Dingo. I am beyond thin ice." She crossed her arms and looked at me.

"Mary, I won't mess things up again! Trust me!" I tried to reason with her.

"Hm, trust Soda? Darry, keep them away." She called walking out the door.

"Ouch, that hurt. What does she mean she can't trust me?" I said out loud.

"You did almost get her fired." Steve told me.

"You had just as much to do with that as I did!" I punched him.

"Mary sure does seem to step in a lot. Has she always done that?" Steve dodged my hit.

"I'm sure she has, I guess I just never really noticed."

XXXXXXXX

I got in the car not saying anything. I was gonna wait for Pony to cool off first.

"Isn't working a double hard?" Pony asked as we got about half way there.

"It's just like working a regular shift, just longer." I told him.

"Yeah, but waiting on people that long could be a real drag."

"Sometimes it is, but its not too bad. It'll be my last double for a long time I'm pretty sure."

"Why?" Pony continued to look out the window.

"Boss man will probably have to cut my hours at the least. I don't know he might even make me take some time off." I wasn't really too nervous. What happened now is out of my hands.

"That's messed up." Pony mumbled. I decided not to respond.

I thought about asking him if he was okay, but I didn't want to deal with a teenager's response just then.

"Mary!" Linda greeted.

"Hey Linda," I smiled, "You remember Pony? He's gonna hang out and do some math until it gets busy." I looked at her.

"Oh, gotcha. Hey, do me a favor?" She looked my direction.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Go talk to Taylor, something's up his butt. How long until you clock in?" She asked me.

"I've got time, I know what's wrong." I looked back to the kitchen.

"Hey, Taylor." I walked over to him. He continued to work at the stove.

"I'm a bitch. I am so sorry I pushed you away when all you were trying to do was help me. I was so stressed out and I didn't want you to see me like that!" I waited for him to respond.

"Mary, its whatever." he said emotionless.

"You took a bullet that wasn't aimed for you." He turned around and faced me.

"I'm so sorry." I told him again.

"I guess you've been punished enough. I mean almost sleeping with a guy in Dallas' bed pretty awful." He kept a straight face.

"How," I started horrified.

"Do you even know the guys name?" He laughed. "He's one of our guys, James. He's a Brumly!" He started laughing now.

"Oh shit." I didn't think that was funny. "Oh shit" I repeated.

"He doesn't even know your last name, so you should be fine." He laughed again.

"How do you even know!" I got louder.

"He got back last night at like three bitching about how "some Mary chick" left when she found out it was Dally's room. I just put the rest together." He continued to laugh at me.

"Shit."

"You said that already." He turned back around.

"Last time I tell anyone even my first name." I growled getting my shoes out of the closet.

"At least you didn't say you were a Curtis. It's funny how no one matches your face to your name."  
>"I need a code name, work on that." I told him lacing my shoe.<p>

"What ever you say Princess." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, my little brother's out there. Watch yourself, I don't need him to know everything, or anything for that matter." I told him.

I knew Taylor was a Brumly, he's been in it for years. Dallas, Tim, and Taylor are all three best friends and worst enemies depending on the day. He just didn't act like one. I guess it's because he didn't grow up here. I wasn't raised with the rest of the Brumblies. He moved here four years ago when his dad lost his job or something. He never acted perverted or anything he was a pretty decent guy. I guess

There's one in every bunch. I punched my card and started to clean off some tables as an older couple walked in.

"Morning," I smiled greeting them with menus.

"We thought we should come in early to beat the crowd, looks like we did," The older man pulled out the chair for his wife. No one ever did that any more. I was impressed.

"I'm Mary, I will be back over to get your drinks in a minute." I went back to check on Pony at the counter.

"Here, I think I got it." Pony pointed to his paper. I sat beside him and read over the first problem.

"Close," I thought of the best way to explain it to him. "Okay, so when you flip your number make sure you don't loose the sign in front of it." I pointed to the paper.

I then left and went over to the table taking their drink order. As I was turning the corner to go back I saw Pony balling up the paper he was working on.

"Okay, don't get frustrated. Skip that one." I told him walking by.

"Here you go Ma'am, coffee black, and for you Sir Pepsi." I placed it on the table. "Do you guys need a second to think things over?"

"We can order." He told me. They were easy customers: nothing on the side, didn't substitute anything for something different, they didn't rush me or change their minds.

"Order." I told Taylor and I went back to the kitchen.

"Heads up," Linda said beside me. Good thing she did she too, her hands were full. "Want me to grab that?"

"No, door." She motioned. I was waiting for the whole thing to fall on the floor.

When I looked up I saw three dirty tables. I couldn't even remember three parties eating. I picked up the tray, napkins, and silverware. I cleaned the ketchup off the table and the fries off the floor.

"Mary, grab seven!" The boss called to me as I was about to go take my tray to the kitchen to be washed.

"Yes sir." I agreed bringing my tray with me.

"Hey guys, I'm Mary, can I grab some drinks to start you off?" I said for the tenth time and it was still early.

"Actually we can go ahead and order, we are regulars." The man told me. Great, because I have so many extra hands, I thought to myself.

"Not a problem sir, let me drop this off in the kitchen and I will be right back." I knew by making him wait he would not be happy.

I dropped them off in the kitchen and came back in less than two minutes.

"Alright sir, I'm all set." I smiled. He gave me his order and I went straight to the next table, and then the table after that. I dropped all three orders off at the window at the same time.

"Okay, let me see." I went back over to Pony.

"Mary, it's getting crowded. I'm just gonna go over to the DX." He folded up his stuff.

"I'm sorry Pony, it isn't usually this busy." I told him.

"I'll see you tonight." He told me.

"Where's the little guy going?" Linda asked as we both filled up our drinks.

"Apparently there's a math class that is giving him a hard time." I pulled my bangs out from behind my hat.

"How long are you working today?" She changed the subject.

"I'll get off at ten. You're off at five aren't you?"

"No, I get off as soon as the lunch crowd's gone." She walked past me to drop off her drinks.

"Mary, your order!" Taylor called me.

"Thanks," I grabbed it and went to the table.

"More coffee please!" the older couple asked.

"Yes Ma'am." I went to grab the pot.

As it got a little bit crazier I noticed I was waiting on more than my assigned tables.

"Where's Linda?" I asked Taylor as I picked up three orders and placed them on my arm.

"She's on her 30 minute break; she's been here since opening." He reached and took my old rag and gave me a clean one. "Thanks," I went back to the tables.

"Anyone need coffee?" I held up the pot and everyone looked. Five people raised their hands in some form. I grabbed extra cups and got busy. As I poured the cup I heard a small crash behind me. I turned and looked seeing a cup of coke spilled all over the table, floor, and the man holding it.

"I'll get a rag sir," I got a cloth for him and also the mop. I didn't really have time to mop, but the last thing I needed was for someone to fall onto the floor. Mopping wet floor in roller skates was one of the hardest things ever.

"Here, here," Our guy who primarily washed the dished took the mop. I was so grateful.

It stayed buys for an hour, and as it started to wind down Linda came back in. She came in the front door which was unusual.

"I took more than 30 minutes, sue me." She mostly kidded putting her hat and apron back on.

"You're in luck, you will probably be out of here in 45 minutes." I guess as I picked up four orders.

"You are asking for a mess Mary." She rolled her eyes at me.

I started to get everything out to make milkshakes for table four when Linda came back over, "Make two chocolates and a vanilla for me and I'll take orders for table 2."

"Sure."

She came back as I was finishing the vanilla, "How's it going with your mom?"

"I've been waiting for you to ask." She sighed opening up. "It's better I guess, I just still can't get over it all you know? She's just so old!" I handed her a vanilla.

"Did you find somewhere else to go the other night?" I was referring to the night I almost got fired.

"No, I went home. It was for the better you know? It's usually easier just to face her than t avoid her." We both went to our tables.

It took until three, but the crowd was gone and Linda started to leave. "You feel up to me leaving? No one else comes until the dinner crowd?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I sat in a seat at the counter looking at the empty diner.

"You were sick as a dog last I heard, and I'm sure you are fighting a hang over now too considering how much you drank last night." She nudged me.

"What?" I hoped she didn't say what I just heard.

"I was there and you didn't even notice!" Linda laughed.

"You were there?" I couldn't even hide my surprise.

"Save the innocent girl cover up. It's good for you to get your feet in the water, do me a favor, don't drown." She laughed clocking out.

I needed to be more careful. "Want me to send Pony in as I leave?" She pointed to the window.

"How long has he been there?" I did a double take.

"Not too long, I would have noticed," she walked out and sent him in.

"Pony, what are you doing?" I asked calmly.

"Soda was busy at the DX, and Steve was giving me a hard time. You were busy in here too I just thought I'd stay out of the way." He explained sitting down again.

"Pony, I'm never too busy for you. Order something as I clean off this table." I handed him a menu.

"I never knew how much you had to do Mary. It's hard work, and you're really good at it."

"Pony, its waitressing, not rocket science." I looked up to him. I was a little embarrassed to have my brother see me waiting on some of these people, and especially to have him see me on my hands and knees cleaning up after them.

"What can I getcha Pone?"

"A burger and fries would be great, thanks." He put the menu up as the bell to the front door rang.

"Well, I'll be damned." I muttered.

"Mary, I was worried I had missed you." Travis' friendly face came in the door.

"Nope, you just missed the lunch crowd." I told him.

"That's good. I was busy this morning and I kept thinking that I was going to miss you." He sat down beside Pony with a sigh.

"Well, I'm here until ten, so I guess you are in luck."

"I guess I am." He looked at me a way no one had looked at me for a long time. His eyes were gentle, but not sympathetic. His face was soft, but not for comfort, and he was happy to see me.


	19. Chapter 19

"Can I get you something?" Mary smiled. Her smile was even more beautiful in the light.

"I'd appreciate a burger please." I watched her hand the order to a guy in the window.

She wasn't one for small talk, I learned that last night, but she was cleaning off the counter and I didn't know what to say.

"Mary, the boss just called." He paused. "He isn't coming in today. I guess you can breath now." He started to laugh. I clearly missed the joke, but she didn't.

"Oh, good one. I'll remember that!" She pointed at him with a straight face.

"What'd you do to keep those hoodlums out of here?" He came out of the kitchen.

"I should get you a book so you can write all of these down." She elbowed him.

"Okay, okay, I'm done." He put his hands up. "Go on and take your break! It's dead in here."

"The second I do that it will get busy." She refused.

"Yeah so? The world does not crash and burn when you leave a room princess." He nagged.

"It would if you actually waited on customers. There is a reason you stay confined to the kitchen, pal," she shooed him back to the kitchen. She refilled Pony's drink then went back to greet the party that just came in.

"You know her?" The younger guy asked me.

"Yes, well, kind of. I met her last night." I took a long sip out of my drink. "You related?" I guessed.

"Yeah, she's my sister. How'd you know?" He seemed impressed.

"She has that sisterly attitude towards you."

"She has what?" he didn't seem so sure.

"You know, she's different with you. She's more friendly she cares more about your comfort and about how you are doing." He looked at me like I was crazy.

"She does that to everyone, that's how she gets money!" he started to laugh.

"Maybe, but watch this." I spun him around in his chair.

"Hey guys, how are you doing this afternoon?" She said identical to how she had said earlier.

"Yeah, I've heard her say that 100 times today!" Pony spun his chair back around.

"Okay, hot shot, now watch." I motioned to Mary walking over.

"Hey, Pony. How ya holding up? You want me to call Darry to come get you?" She put sat beside him in the chair.

"Naw, Mar, I'm fine." Pony assured her.

"Actually, I can take my break now and drive you to the drive in or something." She suggested.

"Mary, I'm okay, really."

"Okay, okay," she pause, "You let me know when you change your mind." She flashed a smile in my direction and turned back to work.

"Told ya." I rubbed in his face.

"Yeah, yeah, who is the hot shot now!" he muttered. I wondered what was up with this kid. He seemed especially unhappy, even for a teenage boy.

"What are you working on there kid?" I pointed to his homework.

"Math." He responded monotone.

"Oh yeah? Want some advice?" I felt like I was pissing this kid off.

"Depends." He didn't look up.

"Depends, what does advice depend on?" I laughed, funny kid.

"It depends on why you want to give me any? Do I know you? There's no such thing as free advice." He finally looked up. He was a good looking kid. Give it a few years and the girls would be all over him.

"You are smart you know that?" I nodded my head. "But, you are doing them all wrong. Number 3, 8, 12, 15, and 24 are wrong. 16 needs a negative sign."

"You can't be serious?" Pony looked back to the problems I told him."Who are you?" he finally spoke.

"A guy who'se just good at math, guess you'll have to trust me." I kept a straight face. I didn't want him to think I was laughing at him.

"You go to school around here?"

"Nope," I replied shortly.

"Nope you don't go to school, or nope you don't go to school around here?"

"Both I suppose. Want my help?" I touched the paper.

"Sure," he said skeptically. I knew he was a good kid. He seemed like he just caught a bad break today. I wondered if he would tell me more than Mary would.

"Alright so the secret to all of this is to simplify. You have to get it in the simplest form, here," I took his pen and started showing him what I meant.

He nodded then tried the next problem.

"You have other siblings?" I asked as he moved his hand for me to check his work.

"Uh, two older brothers." He told me briefly.

"Oh yeah, you're the youngest?"

"Yup."

"That one's right, good job." I congratulated him. I saw relief in his eyes for the first time. He moved to the next problem on the sheet.

"All of your sibling as nice to you as her? I know I wouldn't let my brother come to work with me."

"Yeah for the most part, but they have to be." He continued to work.

"I doubt that, you seem pretty cool to me." I leaned back in my chair. He didn't make much of a response.

"You know, I'm the oldest and it ain't no walk in the park, no sir. I have a younger brother that actually drives me insane and two little sisters who know much more than they should! We don't get along like you and yours. It's a nice thing you got going for you." I smiled thinking about my family. I guess seeing happy families made me miss mine some, but at the end of the day there only so many hits one person can fend off.

"If you say so." He closed his eyes and then went back to working.

"You're right, I shouldn't have made that assumption, every family has their stuff." I backed off. I stayed quiet for a while I didn't want to annoy him.  
>"So, what do your older brothers do?"<p>

"Soda works at the DX, and Darry roofs houses." He still didn't give me emotion.

"DX?" I questioned.

"It's down the street I'm sure you've driven by it a couple hundred times."

"Your parents have got to be pretty cool to come up with names like Ponyboy and Soda." I imagined what they must be like coming up with names like that. I bet they were great.

"Yeah, pretty cool."

"What do they do?" I fixed one of the problems he got wrong.

"Not much now. My dad use to be a mechanic, and my mom was a teacher until they had me. She never went back after me. She became a mom to the gang and everyone." He stopped working and rubbed his eyes.

"I find it hard to believe you are in a gang!" I tried not to show shock in my face.

"Why's that?" He genuinely acted offended.

"The gangs in New York are mean and just not you. They certainly wouldn't spend their weekend in their sister's dinner doing math! They are heartless, take what ever they see, and do what ever they want. That can't be you." I added.

"You don't really know me." He attempted to bluff.

"I know people, and you're not like those hoods. That's a good thing kid, those guys don't have much of a life ahead of them. Prison if they are lucky, dead if they piss off the wrong guy." I reassured.

"They're my buddies, you don't know what you are talking about, again." He added a little bit of attitude. I didn't blame him. I would be annoyed to if someone kept talking to me when I was working.

"You're right pal, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just lonely you know? I moved here not too long ago, and people don't really greet you with open arms if you catch my drift." I sighed thinking about how much longer I'd be here."It's hard to settle in too, I don't know how long I'll be here." I paused and took a long sip of my drink."You're right you know, about every family having their stuff." He looked at me briefly.

"Yeah," I said just to say something.

"Where's your family? You can't be that old?" Pony started the conversation for the first time.

"My family's back in New York, I moved to California to find a job and I was sent here." I explained.

"What kind of job could land you in Tulsa?" He snarled. "You weren't in a gang in New York were you?"

"No, why? Do I not look strong enough?" I joked.

"You wouldn't up and leave if you had a gang, a family." He nodded his head almost as if he was disapproving. I was being judged by a twelve year old, I may be close to rock bottom.

"We all have our reasons, you know what I mean?" I defended myself.

"No, there's never a reason to leave people behind. If there's one thing I know for sure it's safety in numbers. You can look at that many different ways. " He closed his book.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're too smart for your own good?" I couldn't believe him!

He didn't say anything he just walked towards the door. "Whoa!" Mary interrupted him, as well as the table she was waiting on.

"I'm going to the DX Soda gets off soon." Pony explained.

"Just have him pick you up, it'll save you a trip!" Mary hopefully suggested. I could tell her voice she was anxious.

"Steve drove, Mary!" Pony got a little snappy.

"Mind if I tag along? I have always wanted to see what a DX is. Plus, you won't get off for an other couple hours." I stepped up.

"I don't need a babysitter." Pony moaned.

"I know that, you know that, but Darry doesn't. It comes with the big brother role. It was part of the deal, remember?" She reminded.

"Yeah, yeah." He kept walking.

"Thanks," she whispered so Pony couldn't hear.

"So your brother seems to have you on a short leash. Is that not annoying?"

"More than you could understand." He mumbled, but I heard him.

"He's not that much older than you is he?"

"Little more than 5 years." He acted like he had said it many times before.

"There's a five year age gap between my two sisters and I too. It feels like a lot, huh?" I chuckled thinking about them. "I have a brother too, I guess you remind me of him. He's a real pain in the ass sometimes: always doing crazy stuff! He's a middle child, so I guess he gets some slack."

Pony didn't say anything for the rest of the walk.

"Hey, Ponyboy!" Some one greeted, "Oh, hi, didn't see you there, I'm Soda." He smiled. He had a smile like Mary's.

"I'm Travis." I stuck out my hand to shake his.

"I'd shake yours, but my hands are covered in oil," he showed me his hand.

"Yeah, are you working on a problem engine over there?" I looked seeing a guy's legs sticking out from under a truck.

"You could say that; we've been working on that truck for hours." He laughed.

"Talk about a piece of shit! No truck is worth this! I don't get paid enough!" The guy under the truck yelled coming out.

"It's been a long day!" Soda explained.

"Who are you?" He asked bluntly.

"This is Travis, a friend of Pony's." Soda filled in.

"Uh, well Mary's- I just met Pony today."

"Mary's friend?" Steve spoke up. "I didn't know she had friends." He grumbled.

"Steve!" Soda laughed. "He's not always like this, he's just mad about the truck."

"Mind if I take a look?" I spoke up.

"You know anything about cars?" Soda looked over to me.

"Yeah, I know a thing or two."

"Knock yourself out. I'm going to go eat." Steve rubbed his hands on his pants.

I got under the truck how Steve was earlier. I hit around for a minute or two, "You see anything?" Soda finally asked.

"The problem's not from under here." I slid out moving to the hood."Crank it for me?"

He cranked it and I watched. "Alright, I got it." I yelled. "This bolt is loose, first of all. What else is wrong?"

"It's leaking,." Soda pointed to the spot on the floor."

"Have you changed the oil recently?"

"Yeah, when it was in here last time." He told me.

"It looks like this bolt is rubbing up against this and made a leak. Did they complain of smoke too? This would cause the engine to over work, over heat." I pointed as the engine cranked.

"Well I'll be damned, Steve!" he shouted, "Travis here got it working for us!"

Steve came out and didn't believe us until I explained it to him word for word, "Why didn't I think of that?" He finally spoke.

"I'd settle for a thanks." I closed the hood.

"You work around here?" He asked instead.

"No, I actually am an engineer, but I'm on leave, for now at least. I came to Tulsa because a guy I know told me it was low profile here."

"Low profile?" Steve snarled.

"Little stress. I've got enough stress. I need a break."

"Oh yeah? That's pretty tuff." Soda nodded.

"You're on leave? Who do you work for?" Steve seemed fishy.

"A big organization, I guess you could say. I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind. I'm here for a good time!" I kept my head down.

"Fair enough," Soda chimed in. "A buddy of ours is in the rodeo, we are going to check it out tomorrow. You oughta come."

"Every been to one before city-boy?" Steve looked at me like I was naked.

"Can't say I have," I smiled knowing I was feeding him bait.

"Didn't think so, it's probably too red neck for ya!" Steve had a big grin on his face like a clown. I figured he was kidding. He didn't seem like he was being rude. Soda laughed too, so I assumed it was fine.

"You get that math done?" Soda bent into the truck subtly checking my work.

"Yeah," Pony spoke up from sitting in a tire on the ground.

"Darry'll be happy; maybe he'll come to the rodeo tomorrow?"

"Super Dope, he's too busy for all that. He start full time yet?" Steve slid back under the truck.

"You shouldn't call him that Steve! No, he hasn't gone full time, but he's picked up some off site jobs on the side. I guess that's why he's so busy on weekends." Soda suggested.

They stayed quite as they worked for a few minutes, I guess they weren't use to having help.

"Where did you say you worked?" Steve finally asked.

"I didn't," I shrugged my shoulders, "but I learned most of this from my old neighbor. He would take everything apart and put it all back together, I guess I caught on over time."

"Damn good work, you saved out asses! Don't know what boss man would say if we told him there was an other unfixable truck." Steve opened his drink and handed it to me.

I accepted, not because I wanted it, but because I didn't want to be rude and not take it. "There's more like these?" I took a sip.

"Yeah, they're usually bought for parts." Soda filled me on.

"I'll go clock us out." Steve walked to the little building on the side. I assumed there was some kind of office in there.

"Was there any trouble with Mary?" Soda seemed worried.

"No, her boss wasn't even there. No one gave her a hard time or anything, if that's what you are wondering." He still didn't have much enthusiasm.

"Did she seem okay? Did she mention if she was mad at me?"

"Soda, everything's fine!" Pony exaggerated the fine.

"You still sweating over that Soda?" Steve came out with his tool box in his hand and a smoke in his mouth.

"I dunno, I just feel bad is all." He defended himself.

"There was a little mishap at Mary's diner the other day. Soda punched a guy and started a mess." Steve exhaled and handed Pony a smoke he was eying.

"It wasn't a mishap, and you know that I didn't start it. When that _SOC _opened his mouth, he crossed a line man!" Soda seemed upset by it all I thought it was best not to ask.

"And I'm telling you, she's too valuable, they won't fire her. People come in just to see her; they will even admit it! At least they always do when I'm there. She brings in the bug bucks, and you don't mess with money!"

"If that was suppose to make me feel better- hearing that my sister brings in the big bucks to her diner, then you failed." Soda swatted at Steve's arm.

"What's a Soc?" I asked when they stopped talking.

"No good scum, that's what!" Steve yelled loudly.

"They are always causing problems. They recently messed up one of our buddies, they are never up to any good." Soda added detail.

"Oh, so they are the rival gang?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Just don't go walking on your lonesome, and carry a blade. You do know what a blade is right city boy?" Steve took his hat and shirt off.

"I am from New York, I know a thing or two about gangs; I mostly how to avoid them. It surprises me that you all are in one."

"Why's that, not tuff enough?" Steve's tone changed. He almost was threatening.

"Has nothing to do with being tough! The guys in New York, they are scary. They don't offer for you to come to a rodeo with them, or let you be anywhere near them for that matter. If you go anywhere with them it'll be to your death bed. They steal, hurt, hunt, and kill! I haven't known you long, but you seem quite the opposite."

"You know what Travis, you're all right." Steve simply said. "I'm out of here. You coming out tonight? I think that Two-bit plans on coming by."

"Two-bit, is he in your gang?"

"Yeah, you know him?" Soda laughed.

"Only when he'd drunk. I run into him at Buck's a lot."

"Yeah, he get's cheap beer there. So what Soda?" Steve was getting impatient.

"No, I'm probably gonna pick up Sandy. I haven't spent time alone with her. Then, I gotta patch things up with Darry and Mary I guess."

"Time alone, I know what you mean!" Steve hooted.

"Steve!" Soda shot him a look nodding to Pony.

"Hell, he's day dreaming, doesn't know what we are talking about!" Steve slammed the door to the truck.

"Soda, he's our ride. Mary doesn't get off until 9." Pony told Soda as Steve drove away.

"Pony, why didn't you say something earlier!" Soda tried to flag Steve down.

"I thought you knew. Why else would I come to the DX?"

"I thought you were coming here to see me, your favorite brother!" Soda grabbed him and pulled him into a head lock.

" Well, you may be my favorite brother, but I wouldn't hang around here with Steve being my best friend and all." He fought back slightly.

"Pony," Soda sighed letting go.

"My car's at the dinner, I'll give ya a lift. I'm trying to kill time anyway." I spoke up. I didn't really know what was going on.

"That'd be great, see look at that Pony. Problem solved!" Soda threw his hands in the air and chased after Pony for about thirty seconds.

"Remember, you aren't allowed in the dinner! Mary will kill you!" Pony called over his shoulder.

"Yeah you better run kid, track will be here before you know it!" Soda yelled. "You got a big date tonight?" Soda asked me catching his breath.

"Not a date, but I have plans later I guess."

"It's obviously with a girl, if you don't know if you have plans!" Soda nudged my arm.

"That's the truth! I'm not looking for a relationship, though, I don't wanna start something then have to drop it when I leave."

"Let me tell you something, you don't find a relationship, it finds you." Soda looked at me seriously for the first time.

"You got a girl?" I smiled to him.

"She's got me man. She's got me good."

"You tell her you love her?"

"Yeah, not too long ago."

"You tell her everyday. Make sure she knows." I nudged him the way he nudged me. Pony was still ahead of us. We still hadn't caught up.

"She's the one." He looked at me as he said it. He had love in his eyes as if he were to have hearts as pupils.

"Good for you." I nodded.

"I'm waiting for the right time to ask her, I don't want to scare her away. She still is in High School."

"There's no hurry right?"

"If I've learned on thing this year its that you can't take anything for granted, you know? Things change the seasons."

"Maybe you ought to tell her that then. If she's as great as you say then I'm sure she will feel the same way." I offered the best advice I had.

"If her parents were so nuts I would. I'm afraid they'd forbid her to see me, or something. They don't like me."

"Talk to her about it. She'll know how to deal with her parents." We finally caught up to Pony, and I tried to think of something to say less serious so that Pony wouldn't ask what we were talking about. "This is your third time walking here today, kid are you tired yet?"

"Third time?" Soda questioned.

"Yeah, I came by, but you guys were really busy." Pony told him as we got closer to the dinner.

"I'm never to busy for you!" Soda sounded hurt.

"Yeah, yeah." Pony pushed Soda's arm off of him. Soda draped him whole arm over Pony's shoulder in return.

We stopped and looked inside the dinner window. Mary was kneeling on the floor taking someone's order.

"Think I should go in?" Soda asked.

"She made you promise not to." Pony reminded.

"No, she made me promise to keep Dallas out." Soda clarified.

We stood there silently for a minute as Mary moved to the window picking up a tray filled with food. It looked like it weighed more than her.

"I guess we can go." Soda sighed. I didn't exactly know what happened, but I could tell it bothered him.

"She's not mad Soda. Mary doesn't get mad." Pony broke the silence.

"I don't know pal, she was pretty mad at me when the cops came." Soda disagreed. "Let's just go. She looks busy."

"Sure, it's right here." I pointed to my beat up truck. "It isn't much, but it runs." I opened the door for Pony.

"I bet it runs better than a new one with all your handy work." Soda got in too.

"I've certainly but a lot of money in this bad boy." I cranked the engine.

"You got right up here." Soda directed.

"It's the third house." He pointed.

"If you woulda come by a month ago it would have looked a lot better." Soda shrugged as I put it in park.

"What are you talking about, it looks better than my place ever did." I laughed. That was true.

"Come on in if you still have time to kill. That's Two-bits ride; come meet him when he's sober. It won't last long. Johnny will be in here too, maybe even Darry."

I thought about it, but I did still have a while until Mary got off. I followed them in.

"Howdy!" Two-bit yelled when he saw the door open. "Let me deal you in. I'm kicking this kids ass!"

"Two-bit, this is Travis. He said he's seen you at Bucks before." Soda introduced us.

"Guess that explains why I don't remember you! Maybe I do, were you there lastnight?" He questioned.

"Yeah, that was me." I nodded.

"Alright, well, don't hold anything I said against me." He took the final sip of his beer.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much." Someone said from behind us.

"I'm Travis," I shook his hand.

"Darry, I didn't know people were coming over, it's kind of a mess." He looked embarrassed.

"Oh, it looks fine. It's just me too."

"He gave us a ride home Dar." Soda walked to the bathroom.

"What happened to Steve?"

"He left us." Pony chimed in. "This is Johnny." I figured it was Johnny because he has a black eye and a bad cut on his face. He basically looked like he pissed off the wrong guy.

"What are you talking about, this place is spotless. It's better than mine and I don't even have an excuse- you know what I mean." Two-bit babbled.

"Did you get the math done?" Darry looked to Pony. Now I knew why Darry annoyed Pony.

"Yeah," Pony shortly responded. I could tell it aggravated Darry.

"You understand it?"

"Yeah." He repeated.

"We'll talk about this later." Darry walked into the kitchen. I watched him as he grabbed the counter and leaned forward. It looked like he had a bad day.

"I'm out of here, " Two-bit stood up.

"Where you headed Two-bit?" Johnny asked casually.

"To see if Kathy's in a good mood. If not, I may see you at Buck's buddy!" He pointed to me then walked out the front door.

I walked into the kitchen to talk to Darry more.

"You go to Buck's?" He sounded judgmental.

"I live there." I told him frankly.

"You live there?" He repeated opening the fridge.

"It's cheap rent." I shrugged as he pulled out a beer. He put it behind the paper he was holding and walked to the front porch. I followed.

"I guess I should have offered you one." He sighed.

"It's fine." I told him truthfully.

"Are you even 18?"

"Yeah, and some change." I smiled at the way he asked.

"I didn't mean to be rude," he started to back track.

"I don't drink, so it's fine." I sat on the steps.

"You don't drink, but you live at Buck's."

"It's the cheapest rent. I don't know about you, but I still haven't found that money tree my dad always talked about."

"Ain't it the truth." Darry nodded.

"I hear there's a rodeo in town." I tried to start a conversation.

"Oh, I would have forgotten. Darry's riding in that, know him?"

"I don't think so, I've just heard everyone talk about him."

"Trust me, if you met him you would know." Darry laughed at his joke drinking an other sip.

"You've got a colorful group of people surrounding you," I pointed out.

"I could take that as a good thing or a bad thing I suppose." He responded wisely.

"That's true, but in New York, everyone is the same. It get's real old real fast." I told him.

"That's where you're from?"

"Yup, born and raised." We didn't talk for a while, and I started to feel uncomfortable, so I stood up.

"It was real nice to meet you Darry, but I'm gonna hit the road. Maybe I'll see you at the rodeo?" I stuck out my hand.

"Maybe," he shook it in return.

I got back in the truck and started back to the dinner. I still had a while to wait, but I didn't mind. The best parts of life are worth waiting for. Famous Last words.


	20. Chapter 20

"Mary, can you clean 8?" an other waitress asked me. She was new, so she hadn't learned to balance everything yet. I felt bad.

"Sure," I agreed even though I was not wanting to pick up an other table. These people were pigs. I stacked the cups and the plates to take them to the kitchen. We never went out too often with my parents, money was always tight, but is we did I'm damn sure we'd never make as big of a mess as half the people do who I wait on.

"You going to Buck's tonight?" Taylor asked as I put the glasses in the sink.

"That's not funny." I rolled my eyes.

"I wasn't trying to be funny! What are you doing tonight to get a good time?" He followed me out.

"Are you judging me right now?" I laughed a little picking up a menu.

"Me, judge you, please!" He acted offended.

"Don't you have burgers to burn?" I looked back to him.

"I don't burn anything, princess." He laughed the same way I did.

"Is there something bothering you?" I looked up.

"You deserve a good time, " he picked up the plates I was holding.

"I do?" I questioned him. "I'm pretty sure I've been having a good time."

"I don't know, nearly having sex in Dallas' room, sounds like a lot of fun. You know what, you need someone who has you back." He sat down infront on me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I kneeled beside him.

"You need to watch your back. You're gonna find your self too drunk to realize that you are making a mistake. You're going to tell the wrong person no and find yourself in a bad situation. I know you're a Curtis, and that earns you a hell of a lot of respect in my book, but people who don't know-"

"My last name doesn't mean anything," I started to stand up.

"Don't over react, I just meant that eventually you are going to get labeled. Eventually the sympathy card will ware off." He grabbed my wrist.

"The sympathy card? Go to hell," I pushed him out of my way. I walked back to get my keys and my shoes.

"Where are you going?" He yelled after me.

I didn't answer, I didn't know what to say. I was so mad at him.

"Mary, you can't just leave!" Taylor yelled again. I tried to think of a come back I could shout before I left, but I couldn't think of anything to justify what I felt in the pit of my stomach. The hatred I had for him just then was unimaginable.

I sat on the bench outside the dinner pulling off my skates when Travis came outside. I didn't even see him sitting inside.

"How long were you in there?" I asked to keep myself from crying.

"Long enough." He told me gently untying my left shoe.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"What do you have to be sorry about?" He smiled at me grabbing my hand. "This is my truck, don't talk bad about her, she will know." He opened the door for me.

"I think it's very nice." I let my hair down.

"So tell me, where do two people go to talk?" He placed his hand on my knee comforting me.

"There's a vacant lot up ahead some. It's not romantic, but it's on our side." I shrugged.

"Sounds perfect." He agreed pulling over. We got out of the car and he held my hand and we walked over to the lot.

"Too bad I don't have a basketball." He said out loud.

"Do you know how to play?"

"Too bad I don't know how to play basketball." He clarified.

"Me neither," I laughed sitting on the ground. He sat beside me.

"So Pony, he's a interesting kid." Travis broke the silence.

"That's an understatement!" I laughed thinking about all Pony did.

"Really though, I liked spending time with him. Then today when I walked him to the DX I worked on a car with Steve and Soda. It made me really miss working on my Dad's car when I was younger you know?"

"You met Steve and Soda?" I was a little surprised he hung around.

"Yeah, and Steve drove off leaving Soda and Pony stranded so I drove them to your house." He caught me up.

"You went to my house?" I was getting uncomfortable with him doing all of this.

"Yeah, I met Darry, Johnny, and Two-bit."

"Wait, hold on!" I put my hand up.

"Let me finish." He put his hand on mine.

"They invited me to go to the rodeo with you all tomorrow. " He told me then paused. "There, that's all." Then he waited as if he knew I was going to get upset.

"I don't even know you! All of a sudden you are helping my brother with math, working on cars with Soda, going to my house, and going to a rodeo with the gang!"

"I told you, I want to be your friend." He let go of my arm.

"A friend? I don't even think I know what that means anymore!" My heart was racing. I was so confused.

"I want to be there for you. I want to have your back. I want to be the one that you can trust." He told me as if he had rehearsed.

"I'm no good at relationships." I admitted.

"It's not a relationship. I want to be your best friend, your go to guy, the one person you can count on for anything. It's nothing physical, because like I told you. I don't know how long I will be here, and while I'm here I want to be your friend."

"Why?"

"Because I'm alone, and you are too. I don't know why you are alone, you have all these people who care about you, but I can see it in your eyes, you are alone. Being alone is horrible, Mary. Eventually it will be too much to handle, I don't want that to happen."

"You don't know me." I helplessly tried to defend myself.

"Let me get to know you." He coaxed.

"How?"

"What was that guy talking to you about at work. What was that all about?"

"After we walked around last night, I went back in Bucks'. I had an other drink and I got a little tipsy. A guy that I kinda know tried to take me upstairs, we were going at it until I realized that the room we were in was the room of Dallas. He's a friend of my brothers. He didn't know that I'm a Curtis. He just thought that I was some girl. I almost had sex with a stranger in my friend's room." I laughed when I told the story to hide the embarrassment.

"What does being a Curtis have to do with anything?" He looked at me closely, making me insecure.

"You really don't know anything do you?" I laughed. He smiled when I said that.

"I guess I don't ask the right questions."

"I'm a Curtis. You know, the perfect family. My parents were the best parents. They single handed touched everyone at our church in some way. My dad started a football league to keep the boys off the street. My mom watched the neighbors' kids when the parents had to work. She would drop everything and make a cake or a casserole when someone was sick. My brother got a college scholarship to play football. Soda kept everyone on his or her toes with his carefree life style, Pony would win every contest he entered. He even skipped a grade. I was the perfect daughter: Good grades, good job, good daughter. Daddy's little girl, I could do no wrong." A tear slid down my left check like lava. I wiped it away before he saw.

"Okay, so what?" He didn't get it.

"My parents were killed in a car accident a month ago." I told him like it wasn't a big deal.

"Mary, I didn't know." He said after a long pause.

"So, Darry chose not to go to college, he stays home and roves houses instead, Soda dropped out of High School and how works at the DX, Pony doesn't sleep much, he worries about what's going to happen, and he picks fights with Darry. So I fix lunches, listen to bad days at work, offer advice no one takes, I stay out of the way when there's a problem, I cook, clean, do laundry, study and go to work. So tell me something _friend_, why is it a problem if I go out and have a good time? No one knows what I'm doing: Darry, Soda, Pony they would never find out. What's wrong with being normal for just a little while. It's a nice change to do things spur of the moment and not thinking about it rationally!" I got worked up.

"I think your right." He agreed after a long pause.

"What?" I didn't believe him.

"You're not a little kid, you assume adult responsibilities, so I think you should be able to do what ever you want when you get a chance. If not, you'd go crazy!" He put his arm around me.

"I don't know what to say to you." I turned and faced him.

"I'm pretty sure you've said enough for tonight. We can stay here, I've got a blanket in the truck, or we can go get a drink." He suggested.

"No one's expecting me until 10 we could be half way across the state by then.

"I think I know a place, they play the best music." He stood up beside me.

"I'm not really dressed to go out," I pulled him back down.

"It's about 45 minutes out, no one will know you, and it's dark." He pulled me up.

"You aren't embarrassed to go somewhere with me looking like a stripper?" I stood up and followed him.

"I don't care what you wear. Isn't that nice? You don't have to impress me." He winked at me and started running to the truck.

"Pony's the runner, not me." I laughed.

"Yeah, I was told. That's pretty cool. You ever watch him?" He opened the door.

"Oh yeah, it's like a family ordeal when he races, or it was." He closed the door after I told him.

"Well, we will just have to make it an ordeal again." He turned on the car and we started down the road. I had known this guy for two days, but I felt like I had known him for my whole life.

I put my feet on the dash and rolled the window down. I could breath. It was nice to breath again. Maybe all I needed all alone was a friend.

a/n: I realize it is a shorter chapter, but for my last three chapters I have noticed that they do not go to the main page! So, it is not found, so I have not hand many readers or reviews! What do I do? Help!


	21. Chapter 21

"I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom," I looked at Travis to see what he was going to say.

"Yeah, sure, do you want a drink?" He asked me, but I didn't answer.

I walked to the bathroom and closed the stall door.

I let out a long exhale hoping my head would stop pounding. I kicked myself for not having a smoke.

"Mayra, what are you doing to yourself?" I leaned against the door. I stayed in the bathroom for a while, but when I thought Travis would wonder what happened to me I left.

"Hey Mary, what do you want?" he asked me when I sat next to him at the bar.

"Anything." The bartender winked at Travis and went to get something.

"Have you been talking to him?"

"It's true you know, bartenders make great listeners." Travis nudged my arm.

"Yeah, yeah." I shook my head taking the drink. "What, you not getting anything."

"No, I'm driving I'll stick to water." He pointed to the glass.

"I don't think one would hurt a big guy like you." I nudged him back.

"You calling me fat?" He laughed at me.

"No, I'm calling you big! Look at these guns!" I patted his arms.

"I guess I work out!"

"You know, you're a model citizen." I told him truthfully.

"How do you figure?" He didn't believe me.

"You don't drink, you don't lead girls on, you keep things clean, you want to be a good friend, you tutor the needy, fix cars for desperate; well damn, just call you batman!" I took an other sip.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He leaned in beside me.

"It's not a bad thing at all. It's a very good thing." I said with no enthusiasm.

"Mh, I don't know. You don't say it very convincingly." He stared at me.

"It intimidates me." I sighed.

"I, Travis, from upstate New York, intimidate you. Your beautiful smile, hypnotizing eyes, and your unique personality, are intimidated by me. Can I write it down?"

"Joke all you want. You are flawless."

"Alright, alright, Mary, I'll let you in on a secret." He turned and faced me completely.

"I left New York." He told me then paused.

"I already knew that." I interrupted.

"Hold on! I didn't only leave, I ran away. My father could be a real jerk. Nothing was ever good enough. He said I messed up the 'flow of our family'. One day I couldn't take it any more so I left. I left my mom, my sisters, and my brother so that I could get away from my dad. We were talking about a flaw right: I'm a coward." His eyes glazed over, and I could tell he was hurting.

"I'm sorry." I whispered not knowing what else to say.

"You opened up to me, I opened up to you, okay?" He blinked away the glaze and turned back on his charm.

"let's dance, I hear this place has the best music." I got off of the chair.

"Oh yeah, who told you that?" He stood beside me.

"My friend, Travis, ever heard of him?" I lead him to an open space.

"You know, I just met him, and I feel like there is a lot more to know. You should hang around." He put his hand on my back.

"I think I will." I put my arms around his neck and we danced. I left like I was in a movie.

We danced for a long time, but it was too perfect to stop.

"It's close to ten Mary. Is your family going to worry?" Travis yelled into my ear over the music.

"No, but I should get back, especially since the rodeo is in town." I let go of him.

"Is that so? Does that mean you will come?" He seemed excited.

"I never miss the rodeo. " I told him as we walked out of the bar. He opened the door for me, and got in on the other.

"I wouldn't take you as the rodeo type." Travis stated the obvious.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have been if my father wouldn't have made me go with him. My mom said it was no place for a lady, but my dad disagreed. He said that everything he needed to know he learned from the rodeo." I smiled thinking about it.

"You miss him?"

"I do, but it is almost like it is just a dream. I keep expecting him to just come home. It is like they are out of town or something. It's hard on the guys. I'm waiting for Darry to just get pissed off for giving up so much, you know it's a constant reminder when he hears about his buddies in college. Soda's so much in love right now it is shielded him from the hurt. Then, Pony, it's been really hard for him. He doesn't sleep through the night; he can't focus. Kids need their parents. It isn't fair for him."

"You didn't mention you." He softly brought up.

"What about me?"

"What is it like for you, with out parents I mean." He clarified.

"I guess I haven't thought about it too much. There is just so much to do. It was a month since they died day before yesterday, and I was even working then. I guess at the end of the day life has to go on." I told him emotionless.

"Anyone ever tell you that you are one tough cookie?" He turned the radio up a little.

"What about you?" I turned it back down.

"I don't talk about my family much, Mar." He turned me down.

"Neither do I." I told him calmly.

He sighed then rubbed his eyes. I waited, because I knew he was trying. "I miss-" he stopped himself. "I don't miss-" he cleared his throat. "My father was a" he stopped a final time. "I can't." His face was red as a stop sign.

"It's not a big deal, there's plenty more to talk about." I didn't want him to be upset.

"Like what?" He tried me.

"Books, do you read them?" I thought off of the top of my head.

"I can read, but I don't. When I have the time, there is always something else I need to do, or rather do I guess." He shrugged. "Are you?"

"Not anymore. Pony does though. I bet there isn't a book you can think of that he hasn't read." I explained truthfully.

"Smart kid."

"Yeah, there's no one I'm more proud of." I laughed a little. "What about movies, do you watch them?"

"I don't avoid them. If I can see a good movie, then I'm all for it, but not on dates though; I hate the typical movie for a date. You are supposed to get to know someone, not be quiet at a movie!"

"Okay, what about school?" I had been wondering for a while.

"A part of me I don't like to brag about. I dropped out when I left New York. I was going to get my GED in California, but I got a job working on machines. I will one day get my GED. Education is important. Don't take it for granite," He pointed his figure at the end.

"Worst date you've ever been on?" I lightened the mood.

"My dad set me up with a friend's daughter. She talked about her self the whole time, ordered so much food, and wasted most of it! She complained about my driving, the radio, my truck, and about pretty much everything you can think of!" He looked over at me as he talked.

I laughed thinking about what kind of girl would do that, "I assume you never called her to ask her out again?"

" I never called her in the first place. My dad practically paid me to go out with her in the first place. I guess his friend put him up to it or something. I mean she was pretty and all, but she didn't kiss me or anything for all my work!" He laughed too.

"Oh, you needed to be rewarded?" I laughed even harder: typical guy.

"I'm glad we got a chance to talk Mary." He turned the car off at my house.

"Yeah, I think I am to."

"You think?"

"You aren't sticking around, remember?" I opened the door and looked back at him.

"That's true,but-" He tried to justify my comment, but I didn't give him a chance.

"So, if I was to go out tonight get drunk and get it on with someone, you wouldn't care?" I asked seriously.

"I would only care if you did. I wouldn't be upset unless you were."

"I don't trust you, I don't trust this." I closed the door but still looked at him.

"You will, over time." He had this look in his eyes that made me want to trust him, but I had this over whelming feeling in my stomach that made me feel like I was being used.

I left the car and opened the front door. I kept my hand on it as it closed. I didn't want it to slam.

"Hey Mary, how was work?" Darry asked me like he had millions of times.

"Fine," I responded like I had millions of times.

"The left overs are in the fridge, want me to heat them up while you shower?"

I thought about saying no, because I was tired and I wasn't hungry; but, I felt like Darry wanted to talk, because he kept looking at me.

"Thanks," I nodded and walked to the bathroom. I took a brief shower with my mind racing to all the possible topics Darry wanted to talk about.

I came out a the bathroom and he was sitting on the couch with his feet on the coffee table.

I sat beside him and put my feet up the same way and waited.

"Aren't'you going to eat?"

"I'll wait a little while." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Mary, I'm sorry about your door." He told me suddenly.

I almost laughed when he told me, "Darry, it's just a door."

"It's not just the door, it is everything."

"You gotta stop." I put my hand on his. "It doesn't matter what you do, I am not going anywhere. Even if Soda gets me fired, you break my door, and Pony fails math, I will still not go anywhere." I figured that was why he kept apologizing.

"I'm in a fish bowl. I see everything happening and I don't know how the hell to fix it."

"Not everything needs fixing, sometimes it's best if they just run their course." I leaned into him.

"That line is blurred, I can't step back and not do anything." He tensed up.

"I guess you'll have to learn." I suggested.

He didn't respond at first, I guess he didn't know if I was kidding or not. "Who knew being a parent would be so hard." He looked at me for the first time that night.

"It's appreciated Dar. Everything you do, even if it isn't always said." I thought he would know that deep down, but I assumed it never hurt to tell him again.

"My boss offered me a full time position." He let out a sigh. I thought about what kind of reaction I should have to that. He didn't smile, so I assumed congratulations was out of the question. He didn't look angry either.

"Options can be a bitch."

He started to laugh, a real laugh.

"Being full time makes it harder." I guessed.

"More hours, more pay, so it's not too bad." He disagreed.

"Yeah, but it's everything that comes with having a full time job." I tried again.

"It's not really that- it's everything. I don't know."

"Yeah, you do." I disagreed. He always knew, he just didn't know how to say it.

"One by one things change and now everything had changed."

"You're right." Even if he were wrong I would have agreed with him. He just needed someone on his side.  
>"Going full time somewhere is like signing your life away." I realized what he meant with his last sentence.<p>

"It doesn't mean you'll never go Darry. It is just a postponed dream."

"Funny thing is, I waited long enough, and I worked hard enough. My dream became a reality, then before my eyes it became my worst nightmare. I don't want to go back to a dream." He didn't fully sense, but I understood for the most part.

"Make a new dream." I said plainly. I did feel bad. College was his and my father's dream. To be honest though, everyone in the family had dreams that were changed.

"Wish it was that simple." He gripped my shoulder with his arm around me.

"You lost the future you planned for yourself, but you didn't lose the future completely."

"I was at work and one of the guys asked me how I 'got myself into this mess,' and I wanted to punch him in the face. I clearly had to roll up my fist and release it. This mess? This mess is my life: our life."

"People are stupid."

"How did mom and dad let this happen?" His comment threw me through a hoop. _How did they die?_

"It's okay to be mad." I took a leap and tried to get in his head.

"They should have talked to me about this. They should have told me they wanted me to be a guardian. They should have told me to pay attention to how they were doing things."

"I'm sure you know more than you think you do."

"I disagree." When Darry was in this mind set, everything I told him didn't matter. He already made up his mind.

"Don't take the full time job until you are ready. Soda and I aren't going anywhere." I tried to think about what was bothering him the most.

"They'd be upset if they knew that Soda dropped out of school. Why did I let him do that?"

"Soda dropped out because he needed to. It was his choice and he is on Darry." I pleaded. The self pity game he was playing wasn't going to do anyone any good.

"What am I gonna do about Pony? Failing a class, having an attitude, not listening, what do I do?"

I could see why Darry felt like he needed to take action. If any of us would act the way Pony has acted our parents would do something, but Pony was confused. He didn't mean to say the things he said. "Have a real conversation."

"What?"

"Really talk to him, but mostly listen. Let him talk to you. Let him come to you, and then help him. Don't attack him or make fun of him. You have to fix your relationship you know?" I thought about what I would want if I were Pony.

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"He's 13. He doesn't want to do much of anything." I clarified.

"I don't want to fight." Darry admitted.

"He doesn't either." I knew Pony. It was a cry for help.

There was a long pause, I figured he was trying to think of what to say. After a while it looked like he had stopped thinking. His face turned real soft his eye brow twitched.

"Dar," I whispered he put my hand on his back like mom did when we cried.

The front door opened and Soda came in. Darry sat up trying to play everything off. Soda was too smart, he knew Darry had been upset.

He looked at us first speechless, "What's going on?" I sat on the chair across from us.

I didn't say anything, I thought it was important for Soda to know how Darry was feeling, because Soda felt the same way.

"Nothing buddy, we were just talking." Darry sat up taller.

"About what?" He didn't believe Darry.

"Everything I guess."

"What happened?" Soda almost begged.

"Nothing did little buddy," Darry fought him.

"I may not be smart like you and Pony, but I ain't dumb, Darry. I'm not a little kid either, you can't keep things from me." Soda put his foot down. I respected that. Soda was passive, he avoided confrontation, but I knew he hated being left out.

Darry thought for a minute, but then he gave in. "It gets harder everyday." Darry chocked out. Soda's face turned white as he put the pieces together.

Soda moved to the other side of Darry, "Me too. I almost wish Dad would come in my room to yell at me for my grades just one more time."

Darry tried to laugh, "I just want them to tell me what to do." Darry had tears rolling down his face slowly. Soda put his arm around Darry and cried too.

"I miss them so much." Soda stated. I chose a stain on the carpet to stare at.

"We'll get through it little buddy." Darry comforted him. Good ole Darry. A long few mintes past, but they both got it together.

"How'd it go with Sandy tonight?"

"Great, she's great." Soda beamed again. He couldn't stay upset long.

"Lucky girl." I added snickering.

"I'm the lucky one." Soda disagreed. "She'll be at the rodeo tomorrow Mar, talk to her more. I want you to be friends."

"Come on Soda, you know it isn't like that." Darry tried to step in.

"I like her Soda, I don't know why you think I don't!" I bent the truth a little. I liked that she made Soda happy.

"It's getting late, and we've got to get moving in the morning." Darry mentioned. "Crash in my room pal, I'm not kidding this time."

"Thanks Dar." Soda walked into the bathroom helping me up.

I went back to my room and started some homework. I did some easy reading and not taking, but I didn't get to detailed because I heard something. I stood up and looked into the hall way. I saw the front door open, and I noticed Darry wasn't on the couch.

"Angela?" I guess seeing a stumbling figure at our door.

"Mary, I messed up!" She saw me and came over to me.

"Shhh-" I hurried over to her. She has a stench of alcohol and her dress was torn.

"Mary!" She cried.

I turned a light on and was speechless."What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" She wailed. "I was at a party and I don't know how I left or how I got here. I don't know who I was with."

"Come here," I lead her to the kitchen. I handed her a glass of water.

"I don't think I drank that much!" She started to cry. I put my hand on the back of her head.

"I feel like-" her face went white. She stood up and ran to the bathroom. I followed her. I was sure she made a mess.

She was balling leaned over the toilette. I pulled her hair back.

"I'm sorry Ang." I whispered. She cried and I didn't bother sushing her. I felt bad for her. Yeah, sure, she shouldn't have gotten drunk, but someone clearly used her situation against her.

"Who was it?" She choked out.

"I don't know," I knelt beside her.

"Mary, are you okay?" There was a knock on the door. The knock made my heart jump.

I stood up to open it, "What are you doing? They can't see me like this." She grabbed my arm.

"They aren't going to go away Angela!"

"No, you can't!" She tried to grab me again, but I moved back and she tripped. She grabbed for the curtain and pulled it into the bathtub with her. There was a loud crash and she didn't stand up right away.

"Mary?" Soda opened the door.

"Ang," I put my hand on her back. She was on her side with one leg hanging off of the tub.

Soda came all of the way in the bathroom.

"She just hit her head." I filled him in.

"She smells like-" Soda started then stopped.

"I know." I sighed. It was like deja vu from earlier at work. I shook her gently trying to get her to move.

"What do you want me to do?" Soda finally asked.

"Hand me that towel." I pointed. He handed it to me and I got it wet in the sink. I placed it on her forehead and she rolled over slightly. I let out a sigh of relief as I stepped into the tub with her.

"Here," Soda helped me pull her out.

"Mary," she whimpered as she leaned against the wall. She leaned forward and threw up in the toilette again. The face Soda made was priceless.

"What are you laughing at?" He smiled to me.

"Your face. Haven't you ever seen anyone throw up?" I laughed pulling Angela's hair off of her face.

"Not like that!" His mouth was still open.

" There's more where that came from Soda. I'll get you if I need help. My bed is all yours." I tried to laugh a little showing him I was fine staying up with her.

"Yeah, Darry and I can't fit in his bed too well." Soda laughed sitting down across from Angela and I.

"You don't want to be tired for the rodeo, Dallas will kill you if you miss him qualifying." I pointed out. He didn't respond right away and it caught my attention.

"Do you think Steve would tell us if his dad got out of hand?"

"No, it's his dad. He's kept it a secret because he loves his dad."

"I'm his best friend. I should have known. I should have stopped it." Soda sounded upset. Right on cue Angela threw up for the third time.

"How much can a little person throw up?" Soda looked away.

"There's something's you just don't tell people Soda. This is one if them." I spoke from experience.

"There shouldn't be secrets Mary." He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. It was a dagger in the chest. I have kept my fair share of secrets, and I always tell myself it is for their own good. Seeing Soda like that made me doubt my knowledge.

"I know it is hard for you to hear his pain and not fix it. I'm sorry Soda."

" You're right, I don't want to be tired for the rodeo." Soda left the room quickly. I wondered if he was trying to hint about something and I missed the signs. I hoped I hadn't offended him.

Several hours passed and Angela seemed to be doing better. She laid onto my legs and used them as a pillow. Her torn dress stained with dirt and alcohol was wrinkled. My mind processed what could have happened. Could she have been attacked? Could she have been drugged? How far did she go? Who did she go that far with? I was afraid she would never know those answers.

I was sure my left thigh was going to have a mark on it from where her head pressed. Before I knew it my eyes closed.

My eyes opened when I heard movement. I was disoriented by the light coming in the bathroom window. Was it morning?

I sat thinking about what I was suppose to do next. I could wake her up and have her take a shower. Hopefully it would jog her memory, but if she was attacked then throwing her dress away and getting cleaned up was the worst thing they could do. I contemplated what I wanted to do for over 15 minutes. I was amazed no one had come in needing to pee.

I turned the shower on and shook Angela, "Angela, wake up." I whispered. I hope the shower would be loud enough to keep them from hearing. She opened her eyes slowly even more confused than I was.

"What-" she started.

"Shh, I need to know what you want to do? You can shower and borrow some clothes, and we can act like this never happened, or I can take you to the hospital."

"The hospital, are you off your rocker? I'm fine." She insisted.

"Okay," I stood up and walked out. I tried to put together what ever lie I was going to have to come up with for who ever was awake.

"Morning Mary," Darry smiled from the stove. The smell of the eggs made me feel like I was going to barf. "Who's taking a shower?"

"Angela. She crashed here last night." I walked over to the coffee.

"Why?" He he handed me two cups.

I gave him a you don't want to know look and he laughed taking one of the cups I poured.

"I take it you didn't get much sleep." He sat down waiting on the breakfast to finish.

"I got more than you'd think. How's it going Johnny?" I ruffled his hair sitting on the couch.

"You gonna get Angela to come with us to the rodeo with you all?"

"I don't think so Johnny cakes. She was pretty upset, she may just need to lay low." I explained the best I could.

"Everything okay?" That was really Darry's way of saying is there anything I need to know about Tim.

"I don't think I'm coming today." Johnny interrupted.

"Yeah, why's that?" I tried not to act surprised.

"I'm still not feeling well, and I don't think it is a good idea." Johnny shrugged.

"You sure, Dally would want you there." Darry turned around from the kitchen.

"I'm sure." He said quietly. I didn't say anything I just looked at him. It wasn't like Johnny to miss watch Dally. They had some twisted bond that no sane person understood.

I eventually stood up and went outside on the porch. I lit a smoke and walked around to our shed in the back. No one had opened it in a month. I leaned up against the door getting hot. My head started to hurt and I felt dizzy. "Calm down Mary." I told myself putting my hands on my knees.

As I was getting myself together I saw Soda step off the porch. I closed eyes hoping that if I didn't see him he wouldn't see me. It didn't work.

"What are you doing?" He called to me.

I kept my eyes closed and didn't respond. I heard him walking over to me.

I tried to subtally sit down, but honestly my legs would give out on me if I didn't. "Can we talk for a minute?"

He looked at me skeptically, but he sat beside me on the damp groun.

"I want to apologize for last night. I didn't mean that it was right of him to not tell you everything. I don't know what I meant by that. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." I put my hand on his. I had this awful feeling in my stomach.

"Mary," he pulled me into a hug. "I could never hate you."

"I so sorry." I whispered a tear rolled off my cheek onto his shirt. He continued to hold me tight.

"I shouldn't have gotten upset with you. You didn't do anything wrong." He spoke softly as I tried to get myself together. "Are you upset about Angela?"

"I'm just worried. I don't know what happened."

"You could get Darry to talk to Tim. They are still pretty close I guess."

"She doesn't want me to. She says she's fine."

"Steve said he was he's fine too. So, I guess we are in the same boat." He still had his arm on my shoulder. It wasn't long until we saw Sandy pull up.

"You okay?" Soda looked at me before he stood up.

"Sure Soda." I nodded.

"Hello, hello! What are you two doing out here?" Two-bit yelled getting out of Sandy's car.

"Two-bit?" Soda started laughing.

"I picked him up down the road. He was trying to bum a ride." Sand laughed kissing Soda.

"Yick, you kids need to get a room." Two-bit made a face.

"What are you doing sitting on the ground Goldilocks?" He helped me up.

"What happened to your car?" I changed the subject.

"Couldn't get the piece of crap to start." Two-bit went on calling his car a series of names.

"I can take a look at it after the rodeo." Soda suggested as we all started walking to the house. I still had to change and get dressed. Rodeo's were a big deal, so I wanted to make sure I at least looked good.

"Mary, let's take a walk!" Two-bit grabbed my arm. Soda didn't even notice. He was too busy falling all over Sandy.

"Two-bit I still have to change." I sighed.

"I heard you had a tantrum, then left with a guy last night!" She spun me around.

"Come on Two."

"No you come on! Who is he?"

"It's not what you think. Your mind always goes to the extremes." I pushed him off of my arm.

"Aw, Mar. Why do you have to be like that!" He followed me up to the stairs to the house.

"Why are you so awake, you are usually hung over at this hour?" I elbowed him opening the door.

"I decided to give my kidneys a break. What can I say, you are what you eat; or in my case what you drink."

"It's not your kidneys it's your liver." I closed the door behind me fast and held it so he could not get in. "Snooze you loose _Goldilock_s." I turned back and faced him.

Soda, Darry and Sandy were laughing behind.

"You do realize people can still hear me!" Two-bit threatened.

"Is that suppose to scare me?" I tempted him.

"It should." He raised an eye brow as he pulled the door, but I didn't let go.

"Don't you two break my door!" Darry yelled from the kitchen.

"Don't think that you win Mathews." I let go of the door and walked back to my room to change. I went through my closet looking for the right blouse when my door opened slightly.

"Come on in." I called assuming it was Pony. It wasn't.

"Hey, is it okay if I come in?" Sandy stuck her head in.

"Sure." I pulled it open all of the way.

"What are you thinking about wearing?" She asked me sitting on my unmade bed.

"Excuse this mess." I pulled the blanket back.

"Oh please," She laughed at me.

"Your family is so loud!" Angela complained opening the door. "Sandy?"

"Angela, are you okay?" Sandy asked with out thinking.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Angela rolled her eyes flopping onto my bed.

"I just meant," She started to explain herself.

"Don't mind her." I told Sandy. "She had a rough night."

"I don't consider it a rough night if you don't remember it." She said dryly.

I looked at my closet for a little while not knowing what to wear.

"Can I help you?" Sandy seemed eager.

"Please." I tried not to sound hesitant. It wasn't that I didn't want her help it was more so that I was embarrassed to need her help.

"What did you wear last time?" She asked looking at my clothes.

"My mom's clothes." I shrugged. "Most of my clothes were hers."

"Did you not keep them?" Sandy asked bluntly. That was the thing about Sandy. She didn't take baby steps to anything. She was the get over it, get it done, and move on type of person. She was like that about everything. I guess I would have to get use to it.

"Yeah, well, it's still in her closet."

"Let's go!" She walked out of my room.

"Who does she think she is?" A hung over Angela asked with her head under my pillow.

I agreed with her a little, but she was right too. So, I followed her.

"Do you mind?" She motioned to the closet. I wanted to say yes, but I knew I wasn't going to do it.

She started pulling out clothes as Evie walked in. I liked Evie. She had an attitude and she kept things interesting.

"I like that one." She pointed to the white blouse.

"Me too!" Sandy smiled handing it to me. "Go on!" She encouraged.

I put on the blouse with a skirt and cowboy boots.

"You go cowgirl!" Sandy hooted.

"Alright, alright," I blushed. "I have to go talk to Angela, I'll meet ya'll up there?" I walked out of the room and back to mine.

"Put some make up on, you have bags the size of golf balls!" Evie called to me.

Xxxxxxxx

There was a knock on the door and we all got quite as we looked over. Pretty much the last time someone knocked on the door was when the cops came telling us about my parents.

I looked over and saw Travis.

"Come on in!" I called.

"Man, first thing you need to know is you just walk in. Only people you don't want to see knock." Steve filled him in.

"I'll make sure to remember that." He smiled.

"Have you all met Travis?" I asked everyone. I pointed out the girls and Two-bit.

"This guy is a champion with trucks." Soda added shaking his hand.

"You are? Well man is it my lucky day! My car won't start!" Two-bit walked over to him.

"I know more about large trucks and all of that, but I know a thing or two about cars. I can give it a look if you want." He offered.

"Am I not good enough for you any more?" Soda laughed.

"Consider yourself lucky," Steve put his hand out to stop Soda.

"What's taking the kid so long?" Two-bit asked me.

"He's trying to convince Johnny to come. He still doesn't want to leave." I sighed finishing my coffee.

"Do you blame him? Last time he did he was almost killed!" Evie put her hand in Steve's.

"Shit, nothing would happen to him with all of us there." Two-bit disagreed.

"He just needs time, give it to him. Pony's already giving him a hard time, leave it alone." Darry suggested.

"Where's Goldilocks?" He changed subjects.

"What are you doing taking attendance!" Soda gave him a hard time.

"So what if I am! I like to know where everyone is!"  
>"She's talking to Angela." Sandy told everyone.<p>

"She looks like hell. What happened?" Evie looked to me. It was like the 3rd degree.

"Who, Angela or Mary?" Steve didn't follow.

"Angela, well Mary too. But she's looked like that for a few days now." Evie didn't have a filter worth a penny.

"Well damn, what do you really think!" Two-bit laughed.

"Mary's fine." Soda put his foot down as Pony came out with Johnny.

"Hi ya kid!" Two-bit sang. Johnny smiled leaning against the wall beside me.

Mary came out a second later looking irritated, but when she turned the corner and came into the room with everyone she quickly changed her expression. I admired that about her. She was such a team player. I wish half the guys I use to play ball with had that quality.

"It's about time!" Steve grumbled. She rolled her eyes going to the coffee pot.

"You know Mary right?" I asked Travis.

"Yeah, I do." He tilted his hat anyway.

"Morning," she smiled.

"Pour me some Mary." Two-bit asked.

"Too bad we are out." Mary didn't even look up.

"Split it with me."

"You wish." She snarled.

"I'll fight you for it." He suggested.

"You're not worth the energy." She said with out changing her emotion.

"Can we go now?" Steve was like a little kid holding a wrapped present.

"Who's lucky enough to drive me?" Two-bit started out the door.

"My car's full, sorry pal." Steve winked to Soda.

"You can ride with me Two-bit," I offered, "You can too Travis."

"I'd rather follow you if you don't mind. I might have to leave." He told me. "Care to ride with me Mary?"

"Sure." She agreed following him. I watched him open the door for her, and I wondered when the last time was I did that for a women. That also made me wonder when the last time was I had a women in my car.

a/n: So, I realize this isn't the most action packed chapter; but, I have two big surprises coming up, so hang with me! Leave a review and let me know what you are thinking. Suggestions are always nice. I still have had a problem with updating. When I update, it doesn't move my story to the front page. I don't know how to fix it! It is killing my views!


	22. Chapter 22

"Long time no see." I tried to break the ice as I started the car. I felt like I was doing that a lot.

"Yeah, It's been a whole 12 hours."

"You have an okay night?" I put my hand on her arm. She looked at it for a second almost as if she were wondering what I was doing, but I didn't move it and she didn't ask me to.

"Angela, my friend, got herself into some trouble." She sighed putting her hand to her head. I could tell it was bothering her. Her body language was completely different.

"Do you wanna elaborate on it?" I tried to be casual. I knew she wasn't one to talk, but I wanted her to know she could.

"Maybe later. What about you, what have you done in the last 12 hours? Don't leave anything out." She joked.

"I went to bed when I got home; I know I'm a real bad ass. I got up early this morning to do some work, then I came to your house." I caught her up. There wasn't much to tell her. I'm a pretty simple guy.

"Sounds nice, let's trade." She suggested.

"Naw, if I start sleeping in the bathroom now, then my bed will lose the mattress formation I worked hard to put there." I tried to be funny, but I knew from how she tensed up that she didn't think it was funny.

"Sleeping in the bathroom?" She looked at me sharply. I thought about what part of that rubbed her the wrong way before I spoke.

"I mean, I just assumed. Angela looked hung over. People as skinny as her sleep in the bathroom when the are hung over; or they leave you a really big mess."

"She doesn't want her brother to know what happened, but he will be at the rodeo, so make sure you don't say anything." She told me.

"Mary, I only know her name from Two-bit, I don't know who her brother is, and I don't see myself wondering off to throw off some girls cover. Come on, it's me!" I tried to pull the nice guy card.

"Right, I almost forgot, you are flawless. You get up this morning and work out?" She teased me. I didn't care.

"As a matter of fact I did. I'll have to run some sprits later, but I got some good work in. Can ya tell?"

"The girls are going to be all over you!" She smiled.

"I suppose there's nothing wrong with giving them something to look at. Nothing's wrong with looking right?"

"You are telling me that is some girl came up to you and flaunted herself all over you, you would turn her away? I don't believe you!" She pulled her boots off and put her feet on my dash.

"I'm telling you the truth!" I promised.

"So, what, you only do long term relationships?" She squinted at me.

"No, definitely not, I don't do either right now! If I had any say in where-" She interrupted me.

"I know, so you keep telling me. So, don't have a long term, have a fling! No hard feelings." She hounded me.

"There are always hard feelings. " I disagreed.

"Sounds like you are speaking from experience." She looked at me. I could feel the heat off her eyes.

"I guess you are as smart as you are beautiful Curtis." I nodded my head.

"You know, you should get Pony to run with you. He has track pretty soon. Darry would like that." She changed topics. If I didn't know her better I would say that she had an attention disorder. She changed the topic every time I started to get involved in one.

"Well as long as Darry likes it! I should get right on that." I turned right when she pointed her hand.

"Mock all you want. He can be a Grinch when he wants. It is easy to piss him off."

"I guess I will just have to turn my charm on."

"Guess so," she rolled her eyes.

"So what does Dallas do in the rodeo?" I leaned back in the seat.

"Him and Buck are partners in the team roping," she informed me.

"How'd he get himself into the rodeo?"

"I don't really know. He lives with Buck, so I guess him and Buck just sort of started. They are pretty good. They travel a little." She shrugged pointing in the direction to turn.

"I have no idea where we are you know!" I laughed a little.

"Guess you better learn. You've been here long enough." She played.

"Alright, I see how it is." I put the car in park. Darry, Two-bit, and Pony were right in front of us.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Alright City-boy, let us show you what a Tulsa Rodeo is like!" Steve came up from behind and took my dad's cowboy off my head and put it on Travis'. He lead him ahead with Evie on his arm.

"He will probably never be the same." Darry half kidded.

"Let's go Pony," I draped my arm over his shoulder and we started in.

Two-bit went off to find Kathy, and Pony went off with Soda and Sandy so only Darry and I were seated. Both of us had a sick obsession with bull riding.

"If you are going to be stupid enough to be in a rodeo, you might as well do the most tuff thing!" Darry stood behind me at the fence.

"This guys gonna beat the bell," Darry told me.

"He's too small, he can't even weight 150 Dar!"

"Little is good Mar!" We watched. I felt like in the 8 seconds was over a minute. My heart raced as if I were on the bull. Finally the little guy fell off, but he got up quick as the bull was distracted.

"Told you," Darry put his hand on my shoulder.

"Okay, but look at this guy coming up. We've seen him before. He is clearly strong!" I pointed out.

"You're missing the point, look-" Darry started to point.

"Curtis, how's it going son?" A guy I recognized came up behind us.

"Coach, it's great to see you!" Darry's face lit up.

"Same to you. It's been awhile. How are you doing?" He put his hand on Darry's shoulder.

"I'm-" Darry started.

"Don't you lie to me Darry! This is your sister if I remember correctly." He turned and faced me.

"Uh, Mary, yes."  
>"Of course it is, eyes like your mother," he shook my hand.<p>

"Good to see you sir," I nodded my head.

"Pleasure's mine. Walk with me Darry. Let's talk." He lead Darry away. I was like chopped liver.

By the time I turned around the bull rider had already fallen to the ground. I guessed Darry was right after all.

"Mary," Tim came up behind me tapping the opposite shoulder he was standing beside. I didn't fall for it. I have three brother, I don't fall for stupid stunts.

"Bull riding isn't really proper for a lady is it?" He asked me holding a lit cigarette.

I didn't respond, I just looked at him.

"Lighten up, I know you aren't really a lady."

"You've got a way with the ladies Tim." I took his smoke out of his hand.

"Classy." He smirked.

"I try." I turned back around to watch the riders.

"You're out of luck Princess, the bull riders are done for today. Come on, let me get you a coke." He gently put his hand on my back.

"You just want you cigarette back." I accused him.

"Do not!" He laughed.

"We can't miss Dally and Buck, Tim." I reminded him.

"Don't you worry. I will get you back in plenty of time." He dismissed my concerns.  
>We stood in line waiting to get some food. I was kind of hungry.<br>"Curtis, what would your brother want?" He asked me.

"He ate before we got here," I lied. I didn't know what Darry would want. I figured he wouldn't want anything that he hadn't bought himself. He was weird that way.

"Who eats before a rodeo?" Tim mocked.

"If he would have known you were buying, he wouldn't have." I laughed standing behind Tim. When I was with him I didn't feel the pressure I always felt. I didn't worry about him judging me because he's already done everything wrong. He also doesn't care enough to go around spreading things.

"Anyone seen that little shrimp we did a number on last week? I heard the guy behind me ask.

"He's probably too gone to speak!" the others laughed. I turned around and looked at them, but I didn't say anything. I didn't recognize them right off the bat.

"Hey sweet thang!" He whistled. I did not respond, I didn't move, I didn't even breathe. I'd seen Dallas, Two-bit, and even Tim hit on girls, but it didn't seem as much of an insult as it did then they did it.

"What is someone as good lookin as you doing at such a trashy place?" He stepped toward me.

"If it were trashy you'd fit right in." I told him and turned back around.

"Get out of here Randy." Tim handed me a drink casually.

"Timmy, I didn't even notice you there. Want some free advice?" He loudly whispered.

"Nope, I can't think of anything I'd ever want from you." He started to walk away.

"Don't waste your time on Curtis here, she's too much of a tease to satisfy your needs. We are alike that way. No need to waste our time on damaged women. At school they are even trying to get her to talk to a shrink." Randy got his attention.

Tim stopped walking and looked at him.

"That make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel good now, you flea bag?" Tim talked like he was disgusted.  
>"I don't need to feel better about myself." He snickered.<p>

"Hey, you two hot heads take this somewhere else!" The guy from behind the counter told us. I didn't pull Tim away, I wouldn't have minded if he did a number on that ass hole, but I didn't encourage him to fight either. Last thing I wanted was the fall out of an other fight.

"Count your blessing," Tim pointed as he turned to walk away. I started to follow, but Bob caught me arm.

"Get your hands off her." Tim demanded, "She's a Curtis. for Christ's sake."

"I don't give a rats ass, she's a greaser!" He gave me a push sending my drink all over my legs and shoes. It was more demoralizing than it was anything else. He didn't hurt me physically. I turned and walked to the bathroom like I was on fire.

"You shit heads don't have a lick of class," I heard Tim yell.

I pushed open the bathroom door and of course there was a crowd of girls in the bathroom. Why girls needed to go to the bathroom at once was beyond me.

I clean the soda off my legs the best I could, but there was nothing I could do about my skirt and boots. I sighed disappointed and started out of the bathroom.

"Princess," Tim caught my attention as I came out.

"Here," he handed me his smoke and put his hat on my head.

"It ain't even that noticeable." He lied. I appreciated it though.

"What the hell happened to you?" Two-bit noticed with in seconds of our return..

"What, you don't think I can pull it off? I think it accents my outfit perfect." I spun around giving them a total view.

"What ever you say." He rolled his eyes. I glanced to Tim he gave me a half nod.

"You're just in time, Dallas is next." Soda chimed in.

"It looks like you are in one piece." I raised my eye brows at Travis.

"Yeah, they were gentle."

"We wouldn't hurt him on the first time out. Just wanted to show him some fun." Steve put his hands on Travis' shoulders.

"You better watch out man, hanging around these guys is a direct route to the slammer." Tim pointed then stood up to get a better view. Part of that was probably true.

We watched as Dallas missed the head the first time, but had the calf easily the second time. Buck got both legs avoiding a penalty. Las time Buck only got one of its legs and cost them both a five second penalty. To say Dallas was irritated would have been an understatement.

When the were the first to get the calf down Two-bit hollered and Steve yelled.

"That'ta boy!" Tim clapped.

"What's with you being so nice to Dallas all of a sudden?" Kathy sat on Two-bit.

"He owes me money, and now he has some." Tim bluntly responded.

"Figured." Steve smiled. Dallas always owed someone money.

Dallas looked at me and moved his eyes to Darry standing by himself. I tilted my head and stood up.

"Where ya going?" Two-bit caught my arm.

"Worried about missing me? Don't worry, Kathy'll keep you company." I swatted his hand.

"Can I have this?" I took a drink out of Two-bit's hands before he answered.  
>"I didn't think you drank anything besides-" he started before I laid my cowboy boot heel down on his toes.<br>"Hey!" Two-bit pushed me off.

"Two-bit!" Soda spoke up. He wasn't actually angry, but I think he would have stepped in more if I would have fallen.

"Don't you Two-bit me, she almost took off my toes!" Two-bit pointed at me.  
>"Pansy," Steve made a face at Two-bit.<p>

"Come on kid, let's go see Dally." Tim lit a smoke. He was soon going to become a chimney.

"Mary," Darry smiled as he saw me approaching.

"The guy you said would beat the bell ending up beat it with flying colors. You ought to consider gambling," I nudged his arm.

"Maybe I should."

"Here, Tim got you a drink. He's glad Dally did well because," I started handing him my drink.

"He owes him money, go figure," he smiled still distracted.

There was a long silence. It wasn't really silent. There was plenty of noise surrounding us.

"He offered me a position on the team." Darry sighed.

"Yeah?" I didn't know why he wasn't excited.

"Assistant coach. He said the guys would look up to me because I was going to play college ball and everything. I played with a lot of them too." He explained.

"Okay."  
>"I won't have time if I go full time. It's not paid either," Darry shook his head.<p>

"Don't go full time then. We talked about this yesterday. You don't have to." I reminded him.

"Football's my past Mar. How am I suppose to tell Pony to move on with his life if I'm still living in the past?"

"Football isn't your past!. You all have played football your whole lives! Just because you aren't playing college ball does not mean you can't keep playing." I looked at him like he was crazy.

"It'll be hard coaching guys who I played with." Darry nodded his head again.

"We know how to handle hard, we do it every day." I put my hand on his arm.

"You think I should do it?"

"I know you should!"

"Fair enough." He smiled at me. "Let's go find Dally."

"I'll catch up." I told him and went back to sit with Travis.

"How are you liking the rodeo?" I straightened his hat.

"It's not like I imagined." He admitted.

"I bet, Tulsa has that effect on people."

"How long do these things usually last?"

"Usually all day. We can leave and come back." I suggested.

"After you," he stood up and let me walk out in front of him.

"Where are we headed?" I asked as we got inside.

"I want to show you something," he told me as we started driving.

I wondered where he could be taking me. There isn't much that would surprise me with him.

He pulled the car up to a beat up play ground about five miles from my house. I skeptically got out wondering what his point was.

"As I drove through Oklahoma I saw playground after playground everywhere I turned around. The closer I got to Tulsa I saw less, but I still saw some. When I pulled up to my place. There wasn't a play ground anywhere except for about ten miles south of here," he held my hand and walked me closer.

"It's always been-" I started.

"Why does the south side get a safe place to play, but this side doesn't?" He squeezed my hand harder unintentionally.

"Noone has told you about the Soc's?" I couldn't believe that he has been here for a while and never run into a situation where he noticed Soc's versus Greasers.

"What does little gangs have to do with playgrounds?" He didn't mean to sound rude when he said it, but it was a little unsettling the way he dismissed it.

"It's not a little gang. The Soc's live in the South. They have money to buy fancy everything, including playgrounds. They give Greasers, or pretty much anyone who isn't a Soc, a hard time." I tried my best to explain with out being bitter.

"No one has ever given me a problem. Am I a Soc or a Greaser?" He smiled.

"It's not funny. They messed up Johnny bad, it wasn't even a fair fight. He could have died if they hadn't found him. They joked about it! Like you are now."

"I'm not trying to make excuses, I want to put an end to that." He grabbed my hand again.

"You might as well hope for world piece, because until hell freezes over the Socials and the Greasers will not agree on squat."

"Aw come on Mar, I'm not trying to make them friends! I'm trying to mend the inequality. If kids had somewhere place to go maybe they would make better lives for themselves. You know maybe go somewhere, or they might even do something." He seemed so passionate.

"You think you can get all of that from a playground?" I still didn't believe him, but I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I do."

"Then just call you Superman."

A/N: I did some research to see what types of rodeo events Dallas did and all I got was a rodeo jockey. However, I discovered that Buck was his partner. The only event that has partners is the team roping; so I just put two and two together. I can fix it if anyone has any other reason.


	23. Chapter 23

There was something about the rodeo that gave me an edge. It was unlike anything else I had ever experienced, and I had experienced a lot . I felt something when I rode well that I never felt any other time. Some would claim it was guilt free pleasure. Surprisingly, I never cheated in a rodeo. Not once: I never bent the rules. I worked hard and didn't take short cuts. Not that when I did cheat I would feel guilty because, I didn't feel guilty often, or ever.

The rush I felt in a rodeo was even greater than the one I felt in a rumble. Clearly I would deny that if anyone asked, but I knew there was something I felt in a rodeo that I couldn't feel anywhere else. It's what made me keep coming back. I only do well every once in a while. I managed to mess up more than I succeed, but somehow the good out weighed the bad.

"Thatt'a boy Winston!" Several of the guys patted me on the back as I climbed off of the rink. The respect people had for each other at the rodeo was also unusual. It often made me uncomfortable. Never had I been in situations where so many people wanted each other to be successful. Where I came from the more people equaled the more competition.

"Well I'll be damned! We made it with out a penalty!" Buck gave me a high five then roughly pulled me into a half hug. He must have felt the rush too because he was never this friendly to me when he was normal.

"It's about time." I admitted. We had practiced time after time. It was hard getting Buck's lazy self to come out.

"Looky here!" a guy behind me elbowed me excitedly. His elbow jabbed me right in the side where I was bruised from getting into it with Tim a little while ago.

"Watch it man," I swatted at his arm.

"It's that the broad you were trying to get with the other night!" He pointed. I looked in the direction of Sylvia. There was something about her. She was a lot of work, but she was usually worth it.

"He tried, but trust me, there wasn't enough alcohol in the world to help him!" Buck laughed patting my back. I wanted to break his hand off.

"When was the last time either of you got laid, huh?" I growled bitter because I knew they were right. She had been playing hard to get for a while now. At first I was okay with it, but now it was just plain annoying.

"You didn't look half bad up there, I see you are learning," Tim started talking as he got closer. Pony was beside him.

"I guess you could say that." I never really understood Tim. We were buddies, but we also never missed a chance to beat the tar out of each other. Other than Two-bit, Tim really was the only guy I expected to have my back even if I was wrong, which wasn't often. Tim was almost like a brother. We constantly put each other in our correct place, but when we needed to we could get along.

"How'd you like that kid?" I nodded to Pony. He needed to get out more. He would stay indoors all day and read, write, and what ever else he does if people would let him.

"You did good. You won didn't you?" He smiled trying to be interested.

"Damn straight we did!" Buck hooted raising his arm.

"You'll get a pretty big purse taking first like that." Tim wiggled his way into the conversation. I knew he had an agenda.

"Something like that."

"Guess you'll finally be able to pay me back won't ya buddy?" Tim spoke again. All of us connected the dots and started laughing.

"Man haven't you ever heard not to mix business with pleasure?" I laughed brushing his comment of.

"Your pleasure becomes my business when you owe me!" Tim had a somewhat laid back tone. I knew he wouldn't hassle me to pay him back right away. I barrowed money from him all of the time, and I always paid him back eventually. Besides, it was his own damn fault for lending me money, hasn't he heard I'm a no good hood?

"Here, have a smoke," I handed one to him looking over to Sylvia. She was calmly standing with her back against a wall. Her right heel was pushing against the wall. She didn't look like she was waiting on me, she looked as if she was relaxing. She was one tuff broad; something about her drove me crazy.

"I'll see ya'll at Buck's right?" I looked to Buck quickly before hearing all of the guys agree in unison. I assumed Buck would want a party, he got a lot of money at parties. He did sometimes complain about how he never got to have fun at his parties though, because there was always too much he had to take care of. That sounded like a bunch of crap to me.

"I've got business to take care of," I walked away from them and headed towards Sylvia.

"Hey Baby," I put my right arm on the wall beside her.

"Hey yourself," she followed my arm with her eyes.

"You enjoy watching me work?" I ran my fingers through her hair.

"You ride ponies good."

"I do don't I?" I kissed her neck.

"You seen Angela?" She asked me pulling back a little.

"I don't want to see Angela, I want to see you," I told her putting my left arm on the wall too kissing her again.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" She put her hand on the back of my head.  
>"Did you bring your wheels?" I asked her unbuttoning her top button.<p>

"Of course I did," she swatted at my hand and led me to the parking lot.

Her car, that was really her dad's car, had a tight back seat, but we had made it work before.

It didn't bother me that Sylvia had been with a lot of guys, I had been with a lot of girls. It would be unrealistic of me to think that I could have fun with a girl who wasn't experienced. Sylvia and I had a lot of fun.

"I think we should take our relationship to the next level," she told me placing her cold hands on my bare back.

"What ever you say doll," I told her kissing her down her neck. She stayed quiet for awhile and we got busy.

"Are you holding out on me?" I finally asked staying on top of her. That was one of those times that her being difficult was a bad thing.

"Why would I do that?" She roughly turned me over.

"Why are you?" I laughed as she struggled.

"Dallas I want," she started, but I cut her off. I knew what she wanted, and I didn't know if I wanted the same thing.

"Baby, I know what you want. Relax, it's more fun." I whispered in her ear. She hesitated, but she ran her fingers through my hair and we were back on track.

When we finished I sat up in the seat and she leaned into me. I pulled some of my clothes back on, but she didn't. That was my favorite thing about her, the self-confidence she had.  
>"Last night at a party I was at with Angela she got really drunk and she went off with some guy," She started to tell me. I had a feeling there was something on her mind. I didn't particularly want to hear about Tim's little sister, but stopping a girl from talking was like dodging a bullet: the chance of living to tell the tale are miniscule. "I don't really know what happened, but I couldn't find her when I left, and I know she didn't go home."<p>

"So?" I didn't know what she wanted me to do about that.

"I don't want that to happen to me!" She told me seriously. "I don't want to go off with some guy, I want to go off with you. " I didn't know how to respond. I felt like this had been a conversation I had been putting off for sometime. I was okay with the idea of her staying away from other guys, but I wasn't necessarily okay with staying with only one girl.

"You're telling me you want to be my girl?" I clarified.

"Yes," she responded annoyed. When she got angry her ears turned red. It was cute on her. I took my ring off and handed it to her. You would have thought by the reaction she gave me I was purposing.

"I'll see you at Buck's tonight, right?" I asked opening the car door and putting back on my boot.

"Hey man, great job today!" Soda walked over holding Sandy's hand. They were good together. I wasn't much for relationships, but if I had to choose one it would be them two. Steve was a pretty good distance behind them with Evie and Darry was not too far ahead. There was no telling where Two-bit went off to.

"Thanks, we're celebrating at Buck's!" I reminded him.

"I don't know about that, it's date night." Soda kissed Sandy's forehead.

"What better way to have a date than to go to Buck's? That's where my dates all end up!" I laughed at my own joke. Soda laughed too as Steve caught up.

"You seen Mary?" Soda asked me remembering what he came over for.

"I saw her and Tim getting shoed away from the food line before I rode." I had almost forgot about that. I meant to give Tim a hard time about getting Ms. Perfect shooed away.

"I thought they left the food line because she got a drink poured all over her?" Sylvia came out from the back of the car. Soda's face was shocked when he realized that he had pretty much walked in on us. Steve on the other hand started cracking up.

"No wonder you disappeared for so long!" He continued to laugh. Immature idiot.

"Have either of you seen Angela?" Sylvia asked again "I know Mary left with that new guy, but I haven't seen Angela in a while.." Sylvia informed them. I looked over at her wondering how the hell she knew all of this.

"What, I had nothing else to do!" She shrugged.

"Who, Travis? You've met him haven't you Dal: He's a good guy." I put in my two cents. Not that anyone asked for it.

"Yeah, I like him too. He's not like everyone else!" Evie pointed out still on Steve's arm. Evie could be an annoying chick. She was clingy and needy. The two biggest turn offs in a girl. She must be good at everything else, because Steve wasn't known for being patient.

"She left with Travis?" Soda rubbed his forehead. I had met Travis briefly. He was always up when I was asleep. He never bothered me, so we didn't really have a confrontation, but I wouldn't expect him to be at a rodeo.

"Yeah, they are friends or something. She met him at B-" Sylvia started then stopped. "he's been around ever since."

"They met where?" Steve joked. I didn't have a clue about what was going on. Why did Steve have such a stupid grin on his face?

"Brandy's house, you weren't invited," she crossed her arms and looked at him with attitude. Her attitude was a fortunate curse. Her stubbornness would make me angry when she was in one of her moods, but it also kept me on my toes. She wasn't afraid to throw it all out.

"I would have been if Brandy really existed," Steve muttered. I wasn't sure Soda really heard because he still looked like he was going to pee in his pants, but I started to understand their code better.

"Well, if the two of you don't mind, we were kinda busy?" Sylvia rolled her eyes and turned back to me. This was also news to me, because I thought we were done.

Xxxxxxx

"You know what I was thinking Pone?" I asked as we started towards the car.

"No," he answered plainly. It wasn't as easy to make nice with Pony now that he's older. It use to be, when he was a kid, time would fix anything. He would bounce back faster than a basketball. Times had changed; he wasn't a little kid anymore.

"What if the two of us headed to the high school later today and worked out on the track? I could use some motivation." I tried to act like I had just thought of the idea, but to be honest I had been trying to work up the courage to talk to him for some time.

"I dunno, I have a lot of homework," he seemed hesitant. He didn't shoot it down right away, so I knew I still had a chance.

"Could you do it tomorrow?" I didn't want to sound too hopeful.

"I could." He said nonchalantly. I decided to let it rest for a while. We got in the car and were both silent.

Pony turned the radio on and looked out the window, but that wasn't really unusual for him.

"How well do you know Travis?" I decided we were less then five minutes from our place, a little conversation wouldn't hurt us.

"He's good at math."

"How do you know that?" I laughed slightly.

"That's how I met him. He helped me with my math." Pony still didn't look over to me.

"How'd he run into Steve and Soda then? They seem to be pretty good friends."

"He came with me to the DX when I left the Diner." Pony started to loosen up a little. His body language was shifting, he didn't look as uncomfortable anymore.

"It all seems fishy to me." I told him honestly.

"He seems like a good guy to me. He's from New York, but he lives in California. You can't be all bad if you're from California."

"California, what's in California?" I didn't know anyone in California. I had never been to California. I hadn't ever really been out of Tulsa.

"He works there. He's here on a break, something to do with truck engines, I don't really know he was telling Steve about it."

"You sure do your research Pony," I nudged him slightly with my elbow kiddingly. "What else do you know?"

"That's his car," he pointed to the car through the window. I looked to where he was pointing confused as we pulled into the driveway.

"Who is he here with?" I asked getting out of the truck.

"Mary," Pony answered shrugging his shoulder.

Something about Travis just didn't seem right with me. Some feeling I couldn't shake, but it seemed like it was only me who felt it.

I opened the front door to see Travis cleaning dishes in our sink, and Angela face down on the coffee table. Johnny was eating something and Mary was no where to be seen.

"Hey," I said walking in.

"Hi Johnny," Pony went and sat beside him.

"Try this, Mary's a good cook." Johnny motioned.

"I hope I'm not intruding. Mary made lunch so I thought I'd clean," he dried his hands on a towel on the counter.

"No, not at all." I backed away. That was something you didn't see everyday: a guest doing dishes.

"You okay Angela?" I honestly had no idea what was wrong with her.

"My room's all yours Ang," Mary came back out in different clothes.

"Try not to spill anything on those Mar," Angela stood up. Mary whispered something in her ear as she walked by, but I wasn't paying enough attention to understand it.

"She been like that all day?" I asked Johnny.

"This is an improvement." Johnny's tone didn't change when he talked. I probably respected Johnny the most out of everyone. Sure he was younger, but he'd been through the most. Dally went through tough times in New York, but it made him cold. No one really knew what all he went through in New York, or no one asked him.

"Left overs are in the fridge." Mary told me right as the door swung open.  
>"There you two are!" Soda came in behind the girls.<p>

"Hungry?" I asked them pulling food out of the fridge.

"Always," Steve grabbed two plates.

"You hungry babe?" Soda asked.

"I could eat," she gave him a kiss on the cheek. They reminded me of my high school sweet heart and I. I sure as hell hope it works out better for him.

"Why'd you guys leave?" Steve asked mid bite.

"He was showing me a playground he came across." Mary answered drying the dish Travis was cleaning.

"A playground?" Pony asked. "Where is a playground?"

"That's the point! There aren't very many. I want to make one." Travis seemed serious. I looked at him then back to Mary.

" Why?" Evie didn't seem impressed.

"Kids need a safe place to play, there aren't any on this part of town." He defended his point.

"That's cause you live on the East side, City-boy, no one cares about safe places for the kids." Steve didn't think much of what he was saying. I could tell Travis was taking it personally.

"You don't know what you're talking about Steve, I care. Let me know if I can help okay?" Sandy put her hand on Travis' arm.

"Thanks Sandy," he smiled relieved.

"Hey, I was trying to get Pony to come out to the track with me, why don't we all go? We can play football after, it's been a while since we played." I suggested to everyone.

"Man, it has been a while. Remember last time you Dad put the ball through that old man's window down the street!" Steve laughed thinking about it. We all laughed at first. Dad, I shook my head thinking about him. He acted like a kid when he was around the rest of us.

"Mom was so mad! She made us all go apologize to him. Dad cut his grass every week after that for the rest-" Soda started. I could see his mind finishing the sentence before him. Sandy put her hand on top of his at the table, but I had already seen his eyes glaze.

"You know, I think that's a great idea. I for one wouldn't mind watching Darry hand Steve his ass. Travis you ever play?" Mary must have seen it to.

"I beg your pardon, I find that an unfair challenge. He's a recruited athlete!" Steve kept running his mouth.

"You know what Steve, not only am I recruited athlete, I am the new assistant coach of Wilson High." I decided now was as good as a time as ever to tell everyone, while my mind was still made up.

"What?" Soda's food literally fell out of his mouth.

"Coach asked me today if I would be interested, and I decided that I am," I winked at Mary. I felt like this was a good decision.

"You 're gonna be a coach at our school?" Steve asked again.

"Boy's he will be able to keep an extra close eye on you!" Evie suggested. I hadn't even thought of that. That had nothing to do with my decision.

"Were'nt you gonna tell us?" Pony asked.

"That's what I'm doing now! I just found out, I'm not going to be there when you're there Pone-" I tried to make it sound like a good idea.

"I think it's good, why waste the talent if it's there ya know? They could sure use the help. They've lost all the games haven't they?" Mary tried to defend me. I appreciated that.

"Did you know?" Pony asked her. It seemed like he was almost accusing her.

"Pony, don't make this a bigger deal than it is. Grab the foot ball will ya? We are burning daylight!" I changed the subject as fast as I could.

"I'm gonna go change, I'm tired of smelling like Pepsi," Mary told us.

"I'll come," Sandy stood up too.

"Me too," Evie joined Sandy

"Uh-" Mary stuttered. "You know my room's a mess and I just don't think," she started but Sandy and Evie had already left. She passed a look to Travis who immediately raised his eye brows and shrugged his shoulders.

"You're room's a lot better than our Mar," Soda tried to be reassuring. Not that that was saying much, their room was a disaster. It looked like a tornado and a hurricane went through.

"Yeah, but Angela's in hers." Pony pointed out. Man that kid was on top of it.

"So?" Steve added a little attitude.

"Angela doesn't want Tim to know what happened." Travis spoke up.

"Why, is she hung over? That isn't anything new!" Steve laughed. It caught my attention the way Travis said it too. It wasn't like her drinking was a secret.

"Keep your mouth shut will ya?" Mary asked walking back to her room.

"You have the effect of making people angry," Soda nudged Steve's arm making the food fall off Steve's fork onto the floor.

"Damn it Soda," Steve kidded picking it up and eating it. Everyone's attention shifted to the front door when Dally walked in.

"Dal, we assumed you'd be at the rodeo all day!" Steve patted him on the back.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." He responded coolly. "Where were you Johnnycake?"

"Sorry." He mumbled. I hoped Dally would leave it at that. Johnny was having a hard enough time as is.

"Where'd the girls go?"

"Mary's changing," Pony answered standing up and leaning against the counter. Dallas let out a dry laugh to Pony's comment, I wasn't sure why.

Dallas was a dangerous guy. He was a buddy in all, but you never knew when he was going to go off. When he went off you wouldn't want to be around him.

Finally everyone was headed to the cars when Two-bit and Kathy insisted on joining us. I was fine with it, but I couldn't help but notice Johnny wasn't with us. I shook my head worried about that kid. There was only one thing keeping him in that house now, and that had nothing to do with this visible injuries. I assumed Mary was inside talking to him.

"Dar, congratulation on the job! We would have celebrated if we would have known." Soda sounded sincere, but there was something that didn't feel right.

"Oh please, not you too." I raised my eyebrows unimpressed.

"What, I'm just saying it isn't like you just to spring things on me! Honest, I'm happy for you Dar, you deserve it."

"Thanks little buddy, I didn't even know about it until today. He asked me at the rodeo. I've missed football something awful Soda." I told him as I watched Mary come out of the house looking agitated.

"You riding with us Soda?" Steve asked.

"Sure," Soda agreed when Sandy grabbed his arm.

Pony was sitting in the front of out Truck with Kathy. Two-bit was in the back with Travis and Dallas. I expected Mary to get in the front, but she got in the back before anyone could even think twice. No one really seemed to notice but me.

"Anyone have a lighter?" Mary asked leaning back as I started the car.

"Why do you not carry one?" Dally asked pulling her hand to his necklace that was a lighter.

"Why would I need one?" Mary muttered.

"Don't worry Mary, I can get you one!" Two-bit told her.

"If by get you mean steal than forget it, I don't need one." She pointed at him. I smiled thinking about how angry Mary always got when he would steal things when she was around.

"That's right, you're too good for that kind of stuff." Dally rolled his eyes taking the smoke she offered him.

"Just because you feel all high and mighty because you won today, does not mean you can walk all over the little people." Mary told him. It was hard for me to hear them through the window after that, but I was sure Dallas made some sort of comment.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sat on the couch after everyone had left thinking about what they were all probably doing. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I didn't mind being alone, sometimes I even preferred it, but I had been spending an awful lot of time alone. It was either that or have people give me the sympathetic looks. I heard a whimper from Mary's room. I didn't know if I should go back there and check on her or just let her be. I learned at a young age to leave people alone when they are hung over. I had a feeling Angela was different.

"Angela," I tapped on the door.

"Yeah?" She let out an other pathetic voice. I opened the door and walked in tentatively.

"Are you okay?" I asked when I was at a loss for words.

"No," she told me before she started to cry. I didn't know what to say. Most people say they are fine even when they weren't.

"Can I get you anything?" I spat out.

"No." she told me again.

"What happened?" I tried to ask a better question.

"I don't know, I don't remember anything." I felt badly for her, usually I didn't have much sympathy for people who were hung over. I sat on the end of the bed. She was laying in the middle in a ball. She continued to cry for several minutes, but she didn't speak.

"I think we had sex," she cried with her hands shaking. I scooted up and put my hand on top her hers. Truthfully my hands were shaking just as much as hers. I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't one for comforting people.

"Go back as far as you can remember. It'll come back to you." I coaxed.

"I got ready to go out with Sylvia, we didn't invite Mary because we didn't want to go to Buck's. She's always afraid of running into Soda or Steve if we go anywhere besides Buck's. Now I really wish she would have come because she would have never let this happen." He lip curled and I knew she was trying not to cry. I didn't know if I should lay down beside her or if I should lean in and give her a hug.

"Sylvia wanted to get drunk so she could make Dallas jealous with an other guy, so she went off and left me. I only had a couple drinks, and I didn't even spend any time with any guy." She sat back up.

"Why do you think you had sex?"

"I remember yelling for help, I remember fighting. No one came-" she grabbed onto my shoulder. I put my hand on her back as she cried.

"I can see it, I tried to get away, I tried-" she balled into my arms.

"It wasn't your fault." I told her truthfully. I didn't know Angela very well, but I did know for sure that she didn't deserve to be hurt like that.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked when she had calmed down some.

"What do you mean?" I hadn't ever been mean to her; I didn't know why she would be surprised that I was nice to her.

"You have your own shit to deal with." She put her hand on my face. My first instinct was to pull away, I scared her when I did.

"Sorry," she immediately apologized.

"It's not your fault." I let out an exhale. I knew I was a nervous wreck.

"How'd it happen?" She may have been the first person to actually ask me that.

"Uh-it's a long story." I hoped I could doge her question.

"I need a story."

"I don't really remember." I lied. I remembered every second, every hit, every punch, and every kick.

"Go back as far as you can remember. It'll come back to you." She mocked me from earlier. I had to give it to her that was clever.

"I was walking to the vacant lot. I hadn't gotten there yet, when I heard a car approaching." I stopped talking.

"Why didn't you run?" She asked simply.

"By the time I realized they were bad news they were too close."

"How many were there?"

"Three, then on stayed in the car. " It was like a film playing in my mind.

"Do you recognize them?" She asked me the hardest question of all.

"I don't know." I sighed defeated.

"There's gotta be something," She asked again.

"He wore rings." I told her.

"Why were you going to the lot in the middle of the night?" She changed the course of the conversation. Maybe she realized that she had gotten as much information as I was willing to give.

"I was going to stay there. It wasn't really the middle of the night."

"You were going to sleep in the lot?" She seemed horrified: a typical reaction of a person who didn't realize how good they had it.

"It's not a big deal." I swallowed hard.

"Is it because of your parents?"

"I guess." I told her.

"Why don't you leave?"

"I'd have no where to go. I don't have money or nothing." I'd thought about leaving, but if I was to leave I'd leave Tulsa. Everyone knew everyone in Tulsa. No one would hire a greaser, and the ones that would wouldn't give me enough.

"Anyone would let you stay with them, your Johnnycake, they adore you!"

"I'm not a house pet, I don't want anyone to take me in," I shook my head disagreeing.

"Don't let your pride prevent you from being somewhere safe."

"Pride, what pride? Pride doesn't keep me living there." I started to get frustrated. She could tell too because she stopped talking and regrouped.

"Then what does?" She asked calmer and less attackingly.

"They're my parents. No matter what they will always be my parents. You can't understand." It was true. I hated my dad when he was drunk. He was a real ass, who didn't care about me. But, I didn't hate my dad. My mom was just weak. She couldn't stand up for herself or anyone else. She was a pleaser. Everyone's wishes were her command.

"Famous last words, Johnny."

Xxxxxxx0000

"We gonna play football or run all day?" I turned around after throwing the ball to Steve.

"Pony's got to get in shape for track, I've got to get in shape for football." Darry told me catching his breath briefly. I watched Pony run a few times, he was good in all, but it wasn't really all that exciting. There were no cheerleaders or nothing!

"What's your excuse?" I yelled to Travis. He didn't answer, of course, because he was hauling ass down the football field. Man, could he run.

"He runs twice everyday." Mary told me catching the ball. She could catch and throw pretty good for a girl. If she ever played with us I bet she'd be half way decent. She never asked, and we would never let her anyway.

"How would you possibly know that?" Steve threw it back to me.

"He told me?" She acted like it was a dumb question.

"How do you know so much about Steve's friend?" I wondered aloud.

" I just do."

" He's your friend?" I stopped throwing.

"He came to the DX with Pony from being at the diner," Steve filled me in looking over winking at Evie sitting on the grass with Sandy. She didn't give him the time of day.

"How'd you meet him?" I still did not understand it all. Marry wasn't exactly social, she didn't really go out and make a bunch of friends.

"Why are you asking me so many questions!"

"Whoa, was _he_ the guy you were with at Buck's?" I put it all together.

"You know about Buck's?" Steve walked over to us.

"Yeah, how do you?" I laughed as Mary's face turned red.  
>"I saw her leaving Angela's-how do you?" Steve started.<p>

"I've seen her there. You haven't told Soda?" I asked surprised. Those two didn't keep anything from each other.

"You don't have anything to tell anyone. Two-bit, you saw me at Buck's. So what? I wasn't doing anything, even if I were you were drunk off your ass. Steve, you saw me leaving Angela's. I'm always at Angela's it doesn't mean anything. Plus, I held up my end of the bargain and didn't tell your secret, so you remember that." She threw the football past the both of us and walked to go sit with the other girls.

She was one smart chick, "What secret do you have?"

"I don't." Steve denied.

"Let's play ball. I'm captain with Travis." Darry came over. He was sweaty and panting hard.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm offended. I'm not captain!" I fought them.

"Travis is better than you," Darry punched my arm.

"City-boy plays football!" Steve laughed.

"I'll take Two-bit." Travis picked me first. Guess he has good taste.

"Alright, we'll take Steve." Darry pointed.

"Okay, I'll have Soda, you take Pony. You can have first kick." Travis threw him the football.

"You ladies going to cheer for us?" Travis called to them. They just laughed blowing it off.

Darry kicked the ball and Travis caught it throwing it to me quickly. He had a spiral that made my head spin. I caught it, but I was knocked down by Steve pretty quick.

"What, none of yall are cheerleaders?" Travis asked them.

"You still don't get it!" Steve threw his hands in the air.

"Get what?" Travis helped me up. He's a classy guy.

"Cheerleaders are only socs." Soda told me as we got back into a huddle.

I threw the ball to Soda, but Darry intercepted it.

"Mary was a pretty good gymnast though," Soda added brushing off the bad play.

"Really?"

"I remember that, your dad made you try out for cheerleading your freshman year remember!" Steve jogged her memory.

"Please, its not like that's something you forget." She laughed too.

"Yeah, you were so mad at him!" Darry laughed handing the ball to Travis.

Travis threw the ball to me again, and Pony started after me, but I made it into the in zone before he got too close.

"He apologized and said he didn't want you to waste your talent." Soda added getting off of the ground.

"Why'd you stop?" He asked as Pony got ready to hike.

"It's ridiculous how expensive it is all together." Darry told him.

"Yeah, man, but it is a sight to watch them." I added. I would always make a special effort to go down to the gym.

"Yeah, you were more upset than me when I quit." Mary told me coolly. She had a quick tongue, but I liked it. She was the only one who could come close to keeping up with me!


	24. Chapter 24

"What are you four love birds doing tonight?" Two-bit gave them a hard time as we got back into the cars.

"We're headed off to dinner," Soda answered implying it was only him and Sandy.

"Ya'll oughta be coming to Buck's!" Dally talked over them. I liked Dally. I had been told he was intimidating, and I can see that he is harder than the rest of the guys, but he didn't seem like the type to go out of his way to cause problems; but I didn't know him well. I had the feeling that my opinion of him would change.

"You know how I feel about Buck's." Darry stepped in. I found it ironic that the reason Mary went there was because Darry didn't want them there.

"You want to find some action tonight kid, we gotta get Johnny out of your house." Dally lit a smoke nudging Pony.

"He won't go." Pony disagreed.  
>"What do you mean he won't go?" Two-bit asked what we were all thinking.<p>

"He won't even go off the steps when he smokes," Pony clarified.

"He's been inside all this time?" Dally shook his cigarette.

"Yeah," Pony answered closing his eyes "When the phone rings he freaks, if I come in our room and he doesn't see me, he nearly jumps out of his skin. Mary dropped a pot cooking today, and he about got sick."

"That's messed up." Two-bit hit the side of the truck with his hand.

"I want to make those bastards sorry; Every time I see him I get more angry!" Dally admitted. I could tell he was being truthful too. He had a look in his eyes that made me worry for anyone that crossed his path just then.

No one had anything to say then. I could tell the brotherhood these guys had ran deep. They felt each others pain. I hadn't ever seen anything like it, or felt anything like it.

Everyone pulled back into the Curtis' house getting out and regrouping.

"I'll see you at Buck's if I don't get too drunk first. You never really know what's gonna happen!" Two-bit patted my back.

"You want to get going Evie?" Steve asked her. I had noticed they never really hung around the Curtis' house often. It was more like a gathering place for a brief time.

Dally walked into the house with Pony and Darry, "He's probably going to talk to Johnny." Sandy spoke the obvious.

"You want to go baby, your dad wants you back early?" Soda had a calm expression oh his face no one else seemed to have.

"Sure," she held his hand.

"We'll catch ya'll later." I nodded my head as Soda opened the door for Sandy.

"You aren't in too big of a hurry to go in?" I smiled leaning up against the fence.

"I'd much rather stay out here." She confirmed what I thought.

"It's nice out here."

"It used to be nicer. My mom was good at gardening and all of that." I noticed when Mary talked about her parents she didn't get emotional or have to stop. She didn't look like she was going to cry, she kept a straight face as if they were in the other room. I didn't know if I considered that to be a good thing or not.

"Do you know how to garden?"

"Not really. I wasn't ever much help. I wouldn't even know where to start." She laughed looking at the yard.

"I think once you cut the grass and got rid of some of the weeds you would surprise yourself." I tried to be positive.

"So you are also a gardener? Is there anything you can't do?" She smiled sitting on the porch swing.

"I can't fly, but one day I hope to change that," I joined her on the swing.

"That actually doesn't surprise me." She nudged my leg as I sat beside her on the porch.

"What are you going to do about Angela?" I changed the subject. I could tell it had been on her mind all day. Her face hardened, and I knew she was worried.

"She's not much of a talker." Mary looked like she was searching for a smoke.

"You aren't either." I pointed out as she kept searching. It was an anxious habit she had picked up.

"I'll see if she wants to go back to her house I guess," She shrugged her shoulders giving up.

"Won't her brothers ask questions?"

"He didn't ask me anything at the Rodeo." She informed me.

"You coming to Buck's tonight?" I lowered my voice incase someone was listening.

"I think I will after I take Angela home. Sylvia will be there with Dally I'm sure." She didn't seem too excited about going out. She never openly said why she liked going out, but I knew it was because she liked being able to not be herself. I didn't see anything wrong with it. That's why I came to Tulsa.

"I guess I will see you there then, I'll save you a dance," I squeezed her shoulder as I stuck my head in the Curtis' house. "Thanks for letting me come Darry. I'll see you around!" I waved at him. He was in the kitchen fiddling with something.

"Any time," Darry looked back to me. I probably had the most respect for Darry. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I went back to Buck's and I saw there were more cars than usual out front, but nothing like there would be in a few hours.

"Travis!" Buck raised a glass to me as I walked in. "My favorite renter, join us!" He encouraged me.

"I should shower first, I'll be back." I tried to walk to my room.

"Okay, but I want to play you in pool, and it will get real busy real fast!" He warned me. I didn't plan on staying around too long tonight, especially if Mary was busy with other people. I didn't really have much interest in parties anymore.

I still took my time showering. I did a little cleaning and in and outs I needed to get finished. I went back down stairs and hour or so later and it was still pretty dead.

"Where's your crowd?" I asked Buck.

"They won't be here for a while." Buck laughed at me handing me a beer. "I was just giving you a hard time! You'll catch on don't worry." I took the beer from him not wanting to be rude and I followed him to the pool table. It was dark outside and the bar was pretty poorly lit. I had a feeling I wasn't going to be good at pool.

"How long you been in the rodeos?" I asked him as he took the first hit.

"I've always been in rodeos, but when Dallas came to town I started to try it for money. Now it is my drug of choice." He explained. We had only started the game and he was already kicking my ass. People were coming in and they were loud. I kept looking up at everyone who came in, and I would lose my focus.

"You don't have to go help them?" I asked him as he hit yet an other ball in.

"No man, they know where the booze are!" He patted my back. He was no longer drinking as much. I figured he had to be somewhat sober with a party at his place.

"Tell me something," he started as he finished me off.

"After that game I'm pretty sure you get what ever you want!" I laughed as he waved to someone across the room.

"Let's play an other game, I'll give you a chance to win back your money," he smiled a crooked smile handing me the rack. I put all of the balls in the middle perfectly. I was a little impressed with how much I remembered. He motioned for me to go first , as I did he casually sprung a question on me that made my heart stop. "How long you been in the army?" The ball I was trying to hit went flying across the table and onto the floor. I turned and looked to him really fast.

"What?"

"How long you been in the army?" He repeated as if he were asking me how my weekend was.

"How?" I finally asked searching for words. He continued to play pool despite my inability to function.

"When you first got here you paid with cash upfront, and I never saw you leave your room except when you would come back in from running. You have an army cut that is growing out, you called Mary Curtis ma'am and miss, and you haven't taken a sip of your drink. Travis, you're too smart to be a drop out, too old to be a run away, and no one would choose to settle in Tulsa unless they had some bad shit they were trying to shake. How'd I do?" He continued to play pool and never looked up the whole time he talked.

"How do you know that I'm not a stripper, and that's how I make cash? How do you know that I didn't just get a bad hair cut? Or maybe I _am_ stupid and I _did_ drop out! I could be younger than I look you know, I've always been told I had a baby face. Or maybe I chose Tulsa because I'm trying to find someone!" I fought back.

"Maybe, but I don't think so," he paused for just long enough for me to exhale "how many tours did you do?" He asked me coolly.

"I didn't complete my second one." I told him with shame. I felt a bead of sweat slide down my forehead as I got a shiver down my spine.

"I'm sure you had your reasons." He didn't ask me any more questions for a while.

"Listen, I don't want people to know," I put my hand on his pole.

"People, what people, man?" He looked at me as my eyes went to the door. Mary was walking in with Tim.

"You know about the Curtis' don't you?" He caught my eyes watching Mary.

"Yeah, we're just friends, honestly," I assured him.

"She's not easy to be friends with, I wish you luck with that." He laughed slightly.

"Do you worry about her?" I didn't know any other way to ask it other than bluntly.

"I don't see any harm in it. She never bothers me, and she never does anything stupid. There's always someone watching her, I suppose, even if it's a drunk Two-bit." I knew it was normal for people to go out, drink, flirt, and then let one thing lead to the next, but I just had this overwhelming feeling that that wasn't her.

"She's not like this with her family! I went to the rodeo with them today and we played football after, they have no idea." I was relieved to no longer be talking about me. I tried to wipe away the sweat without him noticing, but Buck had incredible senesces, I knew he noticed.

"No one really knows her. Little Mary Curtis never would set foot in a bar before a month ago. The usual's around here didn't even realize who she was. She's Mary here, not Mary _Curtis._ What happens here stays here. No harm no foul." Buck finished the game again and looked at me.  
>"She's not the only one pretending to be someone there not, soldier," with that he walked away. I followed him with my eyes in disbelief just then. I never considered what I was doing to be anything similar to what Mary was doing, but I guess we were both just doing what we thought we needed to do to get by.<p>

"Travis you made it!" Dally came up behind me breaking my focus.

"Hey Dally," I smiled looked over to who he was standing with, but mostly what she was wear, or what she wasn't.

"This is Sylvia, Sylvia-Travis." He introduced.

"I know who you are, you left the rodeo with Mary today." She recalled making me feel uncomfortable.

"We left after you rode Dally, what can I say rodeo's aren't my thing," I shrugged trying to play it off.

"That'll change! I'm gonna get a drink," Dally left.

"Is Mary here, or did she stay with Angela?" Sylvia asked.

"I saw Mary earlier, but I didn't see Angela." I looked around in the same direction she was looking.

"Is she mad at me for leaving Angela, is that why she hasn't come by?" I couldn't tell if she was talking to me or thinking out loud.

"Uh, I have no idea."

"Does Tim know?" She asked me again.

"I honestly don't know." I didn't know why she thought I would know what was going on with people I had little knowledge of.

Dally came back over and handed us both a drink. I took it the same way I did earlier not intending on drinking it. "Travis, this is Brandy!" Dally pulled a girl over as she walked by. She stumbled as he let go of her arm and acted like she was going to slap him, but she stopped as he pointed at me.

"Hi, I'm Brandy." She smiled scrunching up her face as if she were going to sneeze.

"Oh Jesus, I just said that." Dally rolled his eyes as him and Sylvia walked away from us.

"I saw you playing pool with Buck earlier," she started talking to me eying the drink I had in my hand.

"You mean you watched him beat me?" I laughed almost embarrassed by the fact that people might had seen me.

"You can't be that bad, you look like you'd be good!" She touched my arm. I couldn't tell if she was a little tipsy or if she was just weird. She kept batting her eyes and I wondered if she was getting dizzy.

"Looks can be deceiving," I mumbled looking at my own drink thinking hard about taking a sip.

"Aren't you going to drink that?" She finally asked.

"I'm thinking about it."

"Why not!" She took it out of my hand and took a sip. "See there's not harm!" I felt like I was a little kid being tempted to doing something I knew would get me in trouble.

"You know what, you have it. I've gotta go." I handed it to her and walked to the bar where Mary was. She had just tilted back a shot and slammed her hand on the bar as I sat beside her. Several guys clapped and hooted at her.

"Hey," she stepped back from the bar as two other guys stepped up. "I saw you with Brandy!" She nodded in the direction Brandy was. I hoped like hell Brandy didn't see her and come back over.

"Yeah, that's Dally's fault. I think he did it on purpose!" I pushed her hand down.

"Oh be nice, she's not that bad!"

"I disagree. According to Sylvia, you are mad at her because she left Angela at that party." I remembered to tell her. "How'd that go by the way? I saw you walk in with Tim." I certainly wasn't keeping track of what she was doing, but I did notice things. It was a bittersweet curse I had.

"It was weird, I don't know. She just went inside and to her room, as I left Tim came out and we came over here together. It beats going alone."

"Is Angela okay?" I honestly was concerned about her. I didn't think not telling anyone what happened was a good idea.

"How the hell am I suppose to know? She wanted to go back to her house. She didn't want me to stay!" I could tell her alcohol was starting to kick in.

"Did she tell you anything?" I tried asking again even though I knew there was no point. Even if Angela told her, I bet she wouldn't tell me right away.

"Stop asking so many questions!" She pushed me back and walked back to the bar.

"Mary, it's your turn!" A guy yelled to her as she wedged her way to the music.

"I'm coming!" She got beside a tall guy with shaggy hair. I didn't recognize him, though. He didn't look drunk like the rest of them. The song "Georgia on my Mind" started, but he spoke over the music. "Remember the rules: Everytime you mess up you take a sip!" He told everyone then backed off the stage. I was surprised how good of a singer Mary was. She went through the whole song with out messing up. When the song ended the people crowed around her cheered.

"Anyone want to challenge her?" The same guy from earlier yelled.

"I'll sing with her!" Someone called. I strained my neck to see who it was. Mary was gifted at song knowledge who would be stupid enough to challenge her?

"Duet!" Someone from the crowed yelled. I looked to see who it was, but there was no point. I didn't really know who anyone was.

"Sure!" Mary didn't seem phased or threated by the idea. Her face changed when she turned around and saw a drunk Steve. At first she stood looking at him with out saying a word. Then, she laughed slightly. Elvis' song "Stuck on you" came on and they got distracted. Mary scrunched up her face disliking the song. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"You can shake an apple off an apple tree Shake-a, shake- sugar, But you'll never shake me," Mary sang with out being shy at all. She was an extraordinary person.

"I'm gonna stick like glue, Stick because I'm Stuck on you!" Steve was several beats off and struggling to get the words out. The guy honked the horn and everyone demanded Steve take a drink. At first I laughed like everyone else as Steve tipped back his glass, but when he didn't stop after multiple sips I couldn't help but be concerned.

"Gonna run my fingers though your-hair…. Hug you tighter than a- bear." Mary struggled slightly, but she got her verse out, and Steve still wasn't done drinking. I watched her jab him in the ribs with her elbow and he sprayed his drink out of his mouth on her.

"What the hell!" She started laughing rubbing her face. She turned around and grabbed a cup out of someone's hand behind her. She probably didn't;even know the guy; I certainly didn't recognize him. With one hand she put the drink up to her nose and smelt it, and with the other hand she took off her shoes.

"Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall Ain't gonna do you no good at all," she sang and right before she finished they honked the horn and she took a sip of the drink she stole.

"'Cause once I catch ya-" Steve joined in. "and the kissin' starts A team of wild horses couldn't tear us apart!" They sang together and the horn blew again. They both started drinking, they didn't really care what part they messed up on. At this point most people were watching, hooting, and hollering at them. Steve then took a leap and stepped up to one of the tables. This made everyone go crazy. As if that wasn't enough, the next thing I knew Mary was next to him on the table. They stayed there for the remainder of the time, but at this point everyone was just singing and drinking.

"Get the hell off my tables!" Buck yelled over the music. Everyone quieted slightly, but neither of them were in a real hurry to get off the table.

"Get them off my table before I throw them out!" Buck told two guys I had seen around. They seemed like normal guys, I didn't think they were going to hurt Mary or Steve, but Tim got up faster than I did.

"Get off the fucking table, moron." Tim reached up and grabbed Steve's shirt. I saw Steve wince in a way that didn't fit for a drunk person. I had a feeling in my gut that told me to stand up, so I listened.

"Steve, come on!" Tim pulled harder ripping his shirt knocking both himself and Mary off the table. Everyone backed up on the spot. It was like a gun shot, even Dally let go of Sylvia.

Tim and I pulled him up. I could see the bruises even in the bad light. Something was up with this guy. "What the hell?" He asked almost as if he were confused.

"You just fell of a god damn table!" Dally informed him. "You took Princess over there with you."

"You are a fat ass Steve," Mary yelled from the other side of the floor standing up.

"You are gonna want ice for that, sunshine," Dally let go of Steve. "What happened to you?" He turned back to Steve.

"I don't know what you talking about." Steve pushed him away and walked off.

"Stupid," Dally mumbled words under his breath.

"We can go get ice," Tim suggested through a cigarette.

"Can I have that?" Mary asked Tim taking it out of his hand.

"Well, now that you put your hands all over it, I don't see why not!" Tim didn't fight her.

"Travis, will you see what Steve is doing?" Mary asked me following Tim.

I agreed and went off in the direction Steve left. Where was Evie?

Xxxxxxx

"I need ice, Buck!" I walked behind the counter. He hated it when I did that. I didn't really care; I wasn't one for boundaries.

"Is she okay?" He asked me looking at Mary still dancing to the music.

"Yeah, she's fine. She's a Curtis." I pointed out.

"She's not like the others," he laughed handing me a cup. "Room 4 is empty," he paused and looked up to me, "I'm sure it's more suitable than a bathroom."

I had a feeling that's not what he meant originally.

"Come on, Mar." I put my hand on her back leading her up the steps. I knew a thing or two about taking women to one of Buck's rooms. It was completely different with Mary.

"What are we doing?" Mary asked as I opened the door.

"You're gonna ice your head. I'm gonna take a nap." I wasn't really lying. I could have taken a nap. I could pretty much take a nap anytime and any place.  
>"Ow," she mumbled placing the ice on her head. I laughed a little watching her struggle.<p>

"What made you think it was a good idea to get on a table?"

"People ask too many questions! I got on a table because I felt like it! Life if short damn it, dance on every table!" She babbled a little bit.

"Life is short, Curtis," I agreed shanking my head thinking about the past month.

"You know what else?" She stated loudly laying back down onto the ice pack whimpering slightly. I rolled over and faced her.

"I hate being called Curtis. It has such a negative meaning. I swear if someone gives me that sympathy look one more time, I'll pull out their eye balls out!" I could tell it was bothering her, but the fact that she was hard to understand made the situation a little more lax.

"Being a Curtis is something a lot of people would kill to be. Hell, I'd kill to be a Curtis. You get respect with that last name. It's well known, and it's appreciated by society."

"Society, bull shit. Society hears Curtis and feels sorry for us orphans. They feel sorry for Darry giving up his college life, and they feel sorry for Soda for dropping out of school. That's not who I am. I'm Mary," she sat up and crossed her legs on the bed. She made a good point. She connected the dots that I hadn't really understood until now.

"Is that what society thinks or is that what you think?" I sat up and looked at her.

"My parent's died, I didn't." She told me boldly ignoring my past comment.

"You're tuff." She looked at me and softened her face. She was pretty when she was relaxed. I don't think anyone really understood how stressed she had been. I guess you couldn't really tell unless you saw her relax. I got the feeling she only ever really relaxed when she had something in her. I leaned in and kissed her. She put her hand on the back of my head and I leaned back. She was on top of me in a matter of seconds. Her hands were on the back of my head.

"Mary," I said quietly. "Mary," I repeated louder. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" She sat up, but she was still sitting on me looking so damn cute.

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing." I sat up and put my hand on her back.

"I'm not that drunk." She disagreed. Which was probably true.

"You'll regret it," I tried again.

"You sleep with girls who are drunk all the time!" She didn't understand, and I didn't want to explain it to her.

"They aren't you." I tried my best.

"What, is that suppose to mean? Is that supposed to flatter me?" She pushed my hand off her.

"I know you don't understand, but you are different than everyone else." I put my foot in my mouth.

"I'm not slutty enough for you?" She guessed incorrectly.

"I know you too well to do this right now. It doesn't feel right." I took my hands off of her.

"A lot of things don't feel right." She threw the ice pack at me as she left the room. That wasn't the first time I had a girl throw something at me as they left Buck's room, but it was the first time I cared.  
>xxxxxxx<br>"Blondie, how's your head?" Buck asked me as I sat at the bar.

"What?" I asked him confused.

"Your head, you hit it on floor." He refreshed my memory.

"Oh, it's fine. Where is Steve anyway?" I looked around.

"Travis is talking to him. What is with him tonight?" Buck asked pouring a guy down the bar from me a drink.

"Beats me," I shrugged my shoulders. "I didn't realize anything was wrong?" I honestly told him.  
>"Trust me, he doesn't usually do dumb shit like that." I was sure Buck was talking about getting on the table. He handed me a bottle of beer with a smile, "Stay off the table."<p>

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just trying to have a good time!" I laughed at the thought.

"Find a way to do that with out scuffing my table," he warned me. He wasn't really threatening me, he was always nice to me; or at least recently.

"What time is it?" I asked with a sigh. I had a feeling that it wouldn't be much longer until I needed to get home.

"Nearly two, got a date?" He raised his eye brows at me.

"The exact opposite actually," I took a long sip of my beer tilting it backward.

"Take it easy Curtis!" He mostly kidded. Buck wouldn't care if I were passed out on the floor in his bar.

"Mary." I corrected him. "My name is Mary."

"What ever floats your boat." He agreed.

"I guess I should get Steve back home." I thought out loud.

"I'd like to see you try to get him back to your place alone. He could crush you!" I didn't really care that he was laughing at me, I would probably laugh at me too.

"I can get Travis to help." I knew he would. He was already out there with Steve, and Steve could be a real ass when he was drunk.

"Travis is an interesting guy. How well do you know him?" Buck asked over his shoulder. I couldn't really tell exactly what he was saying, but I figured out most of what I could.

"I ran into him here. He's not as big of a jerk as a lot of guys." I couldn't really stop myself from talking, I hoped that was the alcohol. I started laughing slightly uncontrollably.

"Watch out for nice guys Mary," he pointed his finger at me. I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. I nodded finished off my beer.

"Alright, I'll see you same time next weekend!" I waved walking out the door. It didn't take long for me to run into Steve laying face down in the dirt. Travis was leaned up against the light post above him.

I couldn't help my self I was laughing so hard. Travis laughed too when he saw me. Steve had hit his limit.

"I'm not carrying him home!" I told him continuing to laugh.

"I can drive," Travis suggested.

"It's really not that far, do you think he should just walk it off?" I nudged him with my foot. He groaned when I nudged him.

" He going back to your place?"

"Yeah, I guess. Where else?" I squatted down and shook him harder.

"Angela last night, and Steve tonight?" Travis helped my roll Steve over.

"What?" Steve looked confused.

"Come on buddy we gotta go home," I told him as Travis pulled him up.

"No, I'm not going back." Steve muttered pulling away from Travis.

"To my home, to the Curtis house. Steve, your coming to my house." I didn't understand what was going on.

"He's a sorry son of a bitch!" Steve yelled loudly and clear as day.

"Who is?" Travis asked him leading him down the road.

"He says he's sorry then does the same bull shit! Get off me!" Steve pushed Travis. Steve stumbled, but he kept walking.

"He just started yelling and shit. I don't need him!" Steve tripped and fell off the curb. Both Travis and I stood and let him stand up on his own. Neither of us really knew what to do to be honest.

"He can just go to hell," Steve stood up on his second try. We were less than a block away when Steve hurled in the bushes.

I felt bad for the guy. It is true, what they say about every family having their problems.

"Here man, let me help. Come on." Travis stepped up the plate and ran an extra mile. I heard them talking softly, I didn't know what either said, but several minutes later Steve started walking and he didn't say a word.

"Where do you want him to go?" Travis asked me as we approached the fence leading to our yard.

"Do you think he's gonna get sick anymore?" I asked Travis.

"It depends on how quickly he passes out." Travis shrugged.

"Steve do you want me to wake Darry and Soda up?" I asked him.

"No, no, no," Steve shouted.

"Shhh," I put my hand over his mouth. "You can sleep in my room. You have to be quiet so you don't wake Pony and Johnny up, okay?" Travis took him back to my room, and I followed behind with a trash can and a glass of water. We both backed out of the room and went onto the porch.

"Thanks," I put my hand of Travis'.

"My pleasure." He winked at me.

"It's a shame," I sighed sitting on the porch swing.

"What's that?"

"What people's parents can do to them." I saw a look in Travis' eyes that told me to change the subject. "He doesn't want Soda to know. I feel like I'm keeping so many secrets." I felt my hands trembling slightly.

"Sometimes keeping secrets is the best thing you can do for someone. What if Two-bit told Darry about Bucks?"

"That's different. He's not hurting anyone by not telling Darry." I dismissed his idea.

"I guess you're right." Travis agreed with me. I had a feeling he just changed his opinion to avoid an argument, but I honestly didn't care.

"Why Tulsa, Travis?" I asked him suddenly. I had been wondering for a while, but I felt like asking.

"Why not?" He raised his eye brow.

"There's crime, violence, and cruelty everywhere you turn. The Soc's nearly killed Johnny, Angela was assaulted, Steve's dad an ass, like wise with Johnny, and Dallas is always getting into it with someone. You talk about building that park to help the kids, Tulsa isn't really a place fore that." I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me I drank too much, usually I ignored it and drank more anyway, but seeing as I was at home I settled for water instead.

"I like a challenge." He looked at me as serious as a heart attack. I wasn't amused. I didn't understand his ignorance to the society we lived in. "Okay, if not Tulsa, where? Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere safe." I honestly didn't feel safe. I hadn't felt safe in a long time.

"Every place is dangerous. They all have risks, you know? You gotta find the good. Can I show you?" He stood up looking excited. I couldn't help but feel better when I was around him. He put me in a better mood. Soda use to do that too, and I guess he still does; but I find myself wanting to get away from them when I want to have a good time.

"What do you mean?" I was skeptical.

"I want to take you somewhere. Can we take Darry's truck?" He pulled me up gently.

"Yeah, but you'll have to drive." I had no idea what he was up to, but I was in the mood for a surprise.

"Come on, it'll be fun. I promise." He stood up and picked up the keys off the counter. He held the front door open and I followed him outside. I didn't say much. I felt funny. It was most likely the booze mixed in with the embarrassment of being denied by a manhore.

"What's been on your mind all night?" Travis asked me as he opened the door.

"Nothing," I shrugged my shoulders.

"You'd be awful at poker," he closed the door before I got in.

"Come on Travis," I wasn't really in the mood.

"You can trust me." He reminded me, but could I? Could I really trust him?

"I went upstairs with Tim to ice my head after I fell on the floor." I told Travis anyway. "We were talking, and I don't really know what happened."

"What do you mean?" He didn't follow what I was saying.

"He kissed me, but I kissed him back." I had never really talked about what I did with guys to anyone, even Sylvia and Angela.

"Is that weird because he's Darry's friend?" He crossed his arms and leaned up against the truck. I moved beside him and leaned into it as well.

"No, well, not really. How well do you know Tim?" I knew he wouldn't understand what I was saying if he didn't know him.

"He seems a lot like Dally to me, but I guess I don't really know him that well. I've seen him at Buck's always buying different girls drinks. He seemed to go off with different ones every time. He knows how to have a good time, I guess. Why, what happened?" He didn't seem alarmed or concerned, which was nice. I hate defending myself more than anything else. I think that's why I don't tell people anything. They always judge.

"We were kissing, but he stopped me, and said he couldn't." I wasn't angry or embarrassed, mostly just confused.

"Why?" He asked confused too. I couldn't help but laugh at his lack of understanding.

"I don't know he said I was different." I started to feel my face turn red.

"Well you are." He spoke calmly. Travis calling me different is okay, but Tim calling me different isn't!

"He sleeps with anyone, at any time!" I felt my pride diminishing.

"Yeah, so by not sleeping with you he could be respecting you. You are too good to be one of his one night stands." He tried to convince me putting his arm around me casually. If it were an other guy I would have thought they were making a move, but since it was Travis I wasn't worried. Maybe I did trust him.

"This is why I asked you if you knew Tim. He doesn't care that much." I disagreed. Travis wasn't helping much.

"He may be a nicer guy than you think. Maybe you have that effect on people." He nudged me  
>"Yeah, right," I rolled my eyes. I was embarrassed. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if people knew that I was turned down. "Let me ask you something." I changed and started to be serious.<p>

"Oh boy," Travis kidded.

"How long will people act different around me?" I looked back out the window.

"You mean because of your parents?" He stated the obvious. "I don't know. I couldn't speak for anyone else. I think people who knew your parents have to deal with it differently. I guess it is hard for them to see past the hurt you've all been through." I knew he was right, but I still wondered.

"Do you think that's why he wouldn't do anything? Because my parents died, and he doesn't want to do anything while I'm _fragile?"_ I asked getting more embarrassed as I talked.

"I don't know if fragile is the word I would use, but I think he was just trying to be a decent human being. He didn't want to take advantage of you while you are down." He moved his arm off of me as I turned to look at him.

"He wasn't taking advantage of me. Why would he take advantage of me if I wanted to!"

"I guess that goes back to your first question then, how long will people think that you are upset, or think that you should be upset?" He paused and looked at me, "Want to go?" He opened the door back up.

I didn't speak for a while, but then broke the silence. "Why don't you tell me more about you?" I rolled down the window hoping it would help my stomach.

"It would change things.." He moved his hand to the radio dial.

"I don't think so." I stopped him.

"You don't talk about what you do at Buck's, I don't talk about what I did before Tulsa." He justified. I didn't quite get what he was saying.

"I talk about what I do at Buck's. I told you!" I fought him. I wasn't trying to make it a big deal, but I didn't think it was fair that he convinced me to tell him everything. The alcohol was also talking a little.

"Come on Mary," he pleaded. I felt a little bad.

"Okay, sorry." I stopped bothering him.

"Don't be sorry, an other time okay?" He softened his voice.

"Yeah, okay." I agreed. I felt bad hitting him in a soft stop, but I was just so sick of everyone focusing on me!

"Were almost here," he spoke up to break the silence. I didn't mind the silence, I was use to quiet, but I could tell it made him uncomfortable.

"You gonna tell me where we are going?" I was getting curious.

"I'd rather it be a surprise!" He made fun of my curiosity.

"I'm not really one for surprises."

"Really, I hadn't noticed?" He said sarcastically.

"My grandmother told me that sarcasm was an unattractive quality in a person." I recited one of the few things I remembered about her.

"Your grandmother? You never mentioned her." Travis turned into a parking lot I thought I recognized.

"I don't know, she died a long time ago. She was old, I don't really remember her." I paid him little attention.

"Alright we are here." He turned the car off and opened the door.

"A vacant lot? We have one of those right down the street." I spoke to myself.

"Come on," He grabbed my hand and we walked to the back of a building. He pulled out a key and pushed open an old door.

"How did you get a key?" I followed him in.

"I asked for it." He reached and turned the lights on. The lights come on one by one, and as each light lit more and more memories overwhelmed me.  
>I was speechless. I didn't know if it was a joke, or what I was doing here.<p>

"You told me you use to be a gymnast." He was the first to speak. I started to laugh not knowing how else to react. "That was a long long time ago."

"It's like riding a bike, right?" He sat on the balance beam.

"No, not at all actually. What are you hinting at here?" I pushed him off the beam.

"I talked to the owner. He said you could work here anytime." Travis grabbed my arm as he fell.

"Why would I want to come here Travis? It's been close to 6 years since I've been here." I peeled his fingers off my arm. I was starting to get annoyed. I didn't understand what was going on.

"It's an opportunity for you to do something for yourself." He looked up to me from the ground.

"What opportunity? I'm not good anymore. I stopped when I was 12. I haven't done a single step since then!"

"But you can do it again! Mary, believe me." He could be so persuasive. He had me thinking about things I never considered.

"Whose going to pay for it Travis? How am I supposed to make up for 6 years of no training? What am I even working for?" I could still feel some of the booze, but at this point I felt as dry as Tulsa in August.

"I can help you get the strength and the flexibility, and the owner agreed to help you with the rest. Don't you trust me?" He stood up and looked at me level.

"I don't think that's a fair question." I pushed myself up onto the beam and looked down at him.

"Why's that?"

"Because I don't know anything about you, and you could be gone at any minute. You said so yourself." I turned back around and faced him. He kept pulling the trust card when he honestly had nothing to back it up.

"That's true, but while I'm here you might as well trust me. You haven't really got anything to loose." He pointed out. He was right too. I wasn't attracted to him, so I wasn't going to emotionally become attached.

"Why do you always find the need to fix things? You want to fix the park, you fix trucks, you want to fix me." I did a cartwheel on the beam. I swayed a bit, but I didn't fall off.

"I don't want to fix you, I want to help you. When I got to California I was in a bad place, doing dumb shit. When I was forced into running and lifting I started to have a purpose and to look at things differently, you know? I felt better about myself. I want you to have that." He babbled a little bit. He had so much emotion about everything; I wondered how he didn't get exhausted. Travis didn't open up to me in the car and tell me his life story, but he seemed to always wedge bits of him a past in the conversation every so often.

"Think about all you can do sober, Mar: limitless." I got down from the beam processing it all.

"Is that what this is about? You don't like me drinking?" I looked at him.

"Not at all. I don't care if you drink. I drank plenty in the past. I certainly don't have a right to judge anyone." He had answeres to every question. He was smooth.

"This stays between us." I pointed my finger at him as I walked out the door.

"I wouldn't expect it any other way," He followed me out the door.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

You


	25. Chapter 25

I felt my eyes open slightly as I turned to roll over for a few more minutes of undisturbed sleep. My arm smacking Soda's face quickly ended it. After a quick moment's confusion I remembered what Soda was doing in my room. I certainly wasn't use to sharing a bed. Man, I needed a girlfriend. Waking up to Soda wasn't quite the same.

"Sorry," I told him getting out of bed and walking out of the room. I didn't have the slightest idea what time it was. I saw Mary sitting on the couch with a textbook and papers surrounding her.

"Morning," she smiled looking at me. I didn't really mind her always being around. Pony and I definitely couldn't be around each other too much, and even Soda and I get irritable after a while; but not Mary. Well, she wasn't really always around. To be honest I didn't always know where she was. But that wasn't anything new. Before Mom and Dad died she would often be doing her own thing, and I never really bothered to ask anyone, or her, what she was doing. I guess it didn't change when they died. She was as independent as they come.

"What time is it?" I finally asked.

"A little after 8." She answered.

"Wow, I can't believe I slept that late." I thought out loud. That was the first time I can think of that I slept in with out the help of something else.

"You musta been real tired, Coach," she smiled warmly to me. She had nice teeth. I didn't know whom she got that from; no one else had a smile like hers. Some say Soda's is comparable, but I always thought it was Soda's charm that got to people.

Speaking of Soda, "Morning guys!" Soda came out from Darry's room.

"Up before noon?" I kidded with him. He actually didn't sleep in too much these days, but before he worked he use to sleep almost all of Sunday away.

"Yeah, Darry nearly broke my nose this morning!" Soda walked into the bathroom.

"Sorry, I forgot you were in there." I smiled thinking about the last time I shared a bed with anyone. It didn't involve anyone getting hit in the nose that was for sure.

"Are you guys hungry?" Mary stood up folding her papers inside her books. I tried to glance at her book to see what she was studying, but she closed it too fast.

"I am!" Soda called from the bathroom making both Mary and I laugh. Soda was always hungry. I was pretty sure it was a teenage boy thing.

"I got it this time, Mary," I stopped her from moving to the kitchen.

"Hm, what's the occasion?" She crossed her arms and looked at me skeptically. Her comment kind of took me by surprise. I didn't mean to always dump the cooking and everything on her, but she always just did it! No one asked. I didn't realize I was dumping it on her.

"Does there need to be an occasion?" I tried to laugh it off the best I could.

"Either that or a catch," she pointed out. She probably was right for the most part. Still I walked into the kitchen and she didn't follow me. She didn't go back to studying either. She cleaned all of her stuff up and put it on the coffee table and went outside. She came back in a few minutes later with the paper. She sat back down on the couch as Soda came out of the bathroom in a towel.

"Mary have you seen my pants?" He held his towel with one hand and his comb in the other.

"Yeah, I washed them and put them on your bed with all your other clothes." She told him with out even looking up. I guess I didn't realize that she did all of the laundry too.

"Darry, you're cooking?" Soda raised his eyebrow. Mary smiled with out looking up from the paper. She had won with out even trying.

"Yeah, buddy, so you better watch it, if you don't want it burned!" I decided to be playful with him, I knew he didn't mean any harm in his comment.

"Yes sir!" Soda laughed backing into his room.

"Hey, see if Johnny and Pony want food, will ya?" I yelled to him. I heard him respond, but I wasn't too sure what he had said. I expected a humorous comment from him, but I didn't expect our front door to open to Two-bit. I noticed Mary was surprised too. She stood up from the couch and looked at him.

"Where's the ugly giant? Two-bit turned and looked behind him.

"No giant, just you." Soda grinned. Two-bit grinned too. Two-bit took jokes well, as long as they weren't cheap shots, he didn't mind a good laugh.

"I had to check on Steve; I can't leave my boy hanging. Buck's friends don't throw many people out on their ass, you know!" Leave it to Two-bit to make a joke when everyone else was concerned.

"He what?" Soda finally asked.

"Two-bit," Mary muttered. I looked from Mary to Two-bit and saw them exchange glances.

"Whoa, Blondie here didn't tell you what happened?" Two-bit started laughing immediately. "I guess I am in for a show."

"What are you talking about?" I asked Two-bit, but I was also asking Mary too.

"Oh, I think you'd rather hear it from Mary," he sat down on our couch with an heavy exhale.

"Travis found Steve face down in the dirt, recognized him and told me. He wouldn't go anywhere but here, so I just dropped him in my room." Mary turned to Soda. "It was late, he asked me not to wake you. I think _he _wanted to talk to you." Mary shot Two-bit a glare. He didn't seem to notice or if he did he certainly didn't care.

"Alright, I see how it is," Two-bit made a face then started talking. "Steve rolls into Buck's already shit faced. He starts getting on the tables making a fool out of himself he pulled some _random_, dumb, broad off with him. He made them both look like complete fools." Two-bit was laughing awfully hard for the time of day it was.

Soda stood speechless. Honestly, I didn't know what to say either.

Soda paced around for a long minute opened his mouth to say something shut it, and started to walk to Mary's room.

"Soda, don't you think you should let him talk to you?" Mary stood up and took step toward Soda.

"You should have told me the second you saw him in trouble," he pointed his finger at Mary. Mary didn't even blink. She didn't move; She didn't even open her mouth to defend herself.

"Buddy, she just did what he asked. He probably wants to tell you what's going on when he can." I intervened because it didn't look like Mary was going to say anything.

Soda turned around and walked to the porch.

"What's going on Mar?" I asked when Soda was outside.  
>"Ask Two-bit he certainly likes to talk," Mary reached over him to grab her cancer sticks and her coffee, and then she left to go outside.<p>

-xxxxx-

I saw Mary come outside and sit on the steps. She didn't say anything and I didn't right away either.

"He's my best friend you know." I told her shortly.

"I know that," she nodded.

"With out him I wouldn't make it. He's been there for me for everything: them dying, dropping out of school, finding a job, helping me with Sandy, Darry, Pony, you!" I wasn't yelling, but I was flat toned.

She didn't speak, but she still nodded her head.

"If something's wrong with him I should know. He's my best friend." I got a little more worked up.

"Here," she handed me her smoke. I wasn't going to take it, but I did. Before I knew it I was exhaling and she was standing up beside me.

"It was late, and I was with Travis. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with a drunken person. But, Travis noticed something was wrong. When we got to him he was passed out cold. We got him up and drug him here, and when we got here I asked him if he wanted me to tell you and he said no." She spoke as level as I had been, but she was quieter.

"You should have told me, I needed to know." I disagreed.

"Soda, _Steve_ should have told you. You're his best friend. I don't know what's wrong with him, he does. I'm not keeping anything from you, he is. If I would have woken you up in the middle of the night, all you would have done was waited on him to wake up, because he was gone the second he laid down." She turned to leave.

"Mar," I tried to grab her arm, but she was too quick.

"You've doubted me an awful lot lately Soda Pop. When have I ever left you hanging out to dry, huh?" She closed the door to the house and left me on the porch with a smoke.

"You really did it this time, Soda," I told myself out loud. I put one hand on my head and with the other one I put the smoke to my lips. I inhaled the smoke, and I couldn't help but cough with my exhale. Something about smoking didn't suite my lungs, but right about now I honestly didn't give a damn.

I sat on the steps for a while. The weather this time of year wasn't too bad. It was starting to get cooler, but it wasn't chilly yet. It wouldn't be long though, Tulsa's weather's inconsistent.

I thought about what I was going to say to Steve. I tried to figure out what I felt. Hurt because he didn't come to me and tell me what was going on, angry because he didn't trust me, he's suppose to be my best friend, pissed at his dad for being an ass, or just sorry because he's caught up in some mess that he doesn't deserve. Putting all of that into words was going to be a struggle.

Was I going to take the angry approach? Let him know it hurt that he didn't come to me. Or, was I going to just let him talk, and just be supportive.

It didn't matter how much I thought about what I was going to say, because when he walked through the front door and stood beside me it all went straight out the window.

"I know what you're going to say." Steve started talking before I did.

"Do you?" I raised an eye brow, because I didn't even know what I was going to say.

"Yeah, and you don't have to say it because you were right. I'm an idiot." He sat on the railing and dangled his feet over the edge.

"What am I right about?"

"I should have told you sooner, but honest Soda, it's not like this all the time. We could go long periods of time where we are both fine, then out of the blue he goes psycho on me and this happens." He tried to justify everything, and I did feel sorry for the guy. After all, he is my best friend.

"Let me see." I told him monotone. He hesitated at first, but then pulled up his shirt, and his sleeve. I honestly thought I was going to hurl. When I couldn't form words he spoke first.

"It hasn't always been this bad-" he started, but I cut him off.

"Don't defend him! It doesn't matter when it started to get worse, it matters that it happened at all! He's supposed to take care of you!" I was enraged. He was too good of a guy to have to deal with this.

"But what you don't get, Soda, is no matter what he does he is still my dad. It doesn't matter when he throws me out, what he calls me, or how bad he hurts me he is the only dad I am ever going to have. You don't get it. You had model parents you know? This is all I have ever known!" He gave me a melancholy look that changed what I was going to say next.

"You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand how he can do that to you. I don't understand how you still consider him your dad! You deserve better!" I stood up from where I was sitting.

"It don't matter what I deserve, all that matters is what I got, Soda." He looked away from me. I could see the burden he was carrying, and I really wished that I would have known this all along. You never realize how good you have it until you see how much worse someone else has it.

"We gotta figure something out then, man. You need to leave and come here when he starts to go crazy. No questions asked, okay?" I changed my tone. He's right, I didn't understand, but I was right too. He didn't deserve that.

"Okay," he nodded. "Are you gonna tell everyone?"

"I'm pretty sure they already know, pal," he reached and helped me up off of my step.

I saw his eyes soften, it looked like he was ashamed. What could he be ashamed of?

He turned and started back towards the house, "hey," I grabbed his arm. He turned his whole body back to me.

"It's not your fault, you know that, right?" I assumed he knew that, but I was confused on what was going on.

"Yeah, man, whatever," his words told me he knew what I was talking about, but his tone and his expressions told me other wise.

I went back inside the house with him. At this point Johnny and Pony were at the table eating. Darry gave me a brief look, but he went back to cleaning the dishes in the sink quickly.

"So, you gonna tell us what the hell is going on?" Two-bit asked.

Xxxxxxxx

I learned a while back that when I take a shower it is best just to bring my clothes into the bathroom with me. Yeah, the guys would complain that I take too long, but the alternative is they whistle and act like idiots when I walk by wrapped in a towel. Which is stupid because my towel covers more than a lot of my clothes do. You'd think that because I've known them all of my life, they would look at me like a sister, but that's not it at all. You also would think that Darry, Pony, or Soda would stop them, but they don't. It is just one big mess that always makes me uncomfortable.

So, I started putting on my work uniform. I took my time and made sure it all looked okay. Then I put on a button up shirt over my work shirt and pulled the skirt down in the back. I did this when my parents were alive too. I felt like it showed respect more than anything. They new I wore minimal clothes at work, but they didn't really need to see it when I was at home.  
>I looked in the mirror one last time, satisfied with how I looked, I opened the bathroom door and set out to find the keys.<p>

"You want me to drive your truck Darry?" I asked picking them up off of the coffee table. He pretty much left his keys there or on his dresser. Soda on the other had, no one ever knew where those were. I finally had to start looking in all of his pockets before I started the wash.

"I can drive you." Soda piped up. I wasn't mad at him by all means, but I just didn't want to be around him right now.

"It's fine, I'm not going anywhere, I've got practice to plan," he winked at me.

"Don't let it get to your head!" I kidded draping my arm over Pony.

"Want some eggs, Mar?" He asked me holding up his fork.

"No thanks champ." After you cook eggs for so long they start to look and smell unappetizing.

"Why doesn't Darry hassle you about eating," Pony mumbled making Darry give him a look. I spoke up before Darry had a chance to.

"Because I'm a lost cause, there's not point in trying to force me to be something. But you, you're still young there's still hope in you becoming something. So, listen to Dar and eat the eggs, huh?" I kissed his check and walked out the door.

"Why are you so nice to him and not nice to me!" Two-bit followed me outside.

"I like him better." I shrugged.

"Give me a ride to the diner?" He got in the truck before I answered.

"No, all you do is cause trouble." I stayed outside the car.

"Oh come on princess, I'm not staying long," he buckled his seatbelt. He clearly wasn't getting out, and I wasn't in the mood for a fight. Two-bit wasn't usually dangerous as long as he was alone.

"Why don't you tell Darry and Soda the truth Mar? When'd you become such a sneak?" Two-bit put his feet on the dash.

"Sneak, isn't a word. Who are you to judge me, I can count the number of times I've seen you sober on my hands." I defend myself.

"Yeah, but you don't really want to compare yourself to me do ya Mar?" Two-bit made a good point.

"What do you want Two-bit?" I was no longer amused.

"I want to know what's going on!" Two-bit was acting odd, I didn't understand.

"With what?" I snapped at him. I knew where this was going, and I was going to make sure it didn't get there.

"You've built up a mighty strong tolerance to alcohol real fast Mary. Last night you were falling off tables, and then today you're keeping the peace in the Curtis' house and then going off to work as if nothing happened last night.

"Nothing happened last night Two-bit, how much did _you_ drink?" I threw it back as him as I pulled into a parking spot.

"I can drink a lot, because I weigh a lot! Plus, I'm okay getting wasted because people expect it! They don't expect me to hold everything together. Do you know you are the only one that holds your family together? Why would you screw with that?" He grabbed my door as I opened it to get out.

"I haven't screwed a damn thing Two-bit, you don't know what you are talking about, as usual. Now, get your hand off my car and walk home." I walked towards the diner. I heard what he said, but it honestly didn't phase me. I was so use to people judging me, and trying to talk to me.

I walked in the dinner already a little edgy, but working usually helped me get over that. Linda was working today too, and she would have some type of story that would take the whole day to tell.

As I pushed open the door, and the bell rang Linda looked up at me.

"Hey," I greeted her. She did drive me crazy at times, but she probably was the only true true friend that I had.

"Mary," the way Linda said my name gave me chills. I stopped walking and she came over to me. "Boss is in the back, he needs to talk to you," she grabbed my hand.

"Okay?" I wasn't sure why she was making it a big deal. He talked to me all time.

"Before you clock in." She stopped me from walking. Now my heart was racing. I tried to play it off like everything was fine. I walked to the little hole in the wall office the boss stayed in. I knocked even though the door was open.

"Yes, yes, Mary come in." He stood up. I walked in like I had millions of times before.

"Close the door behind you," he motioned to a chair. I started to feel more uncomfortable.

"You are a very bright young lady, and the customers love you. I have thoroughly enjoyed having you work for me. That's why this is really hard for me to do." He paused and took off his glasses.

"Sir are you firing me?" I had this painful feeling in my gut that something was wrong.

"I'm afraid so." He looked down. "We got a complaint. Someone called in and said that fight a little while ago scared his kid. He threated to boycott the dinner. We can't risk it. I really am sorry."

"You just now got this complaint?" I stood up.

"A few days ago, I've been putting it off, I wanted to give you as many hours as I could. I know you depend on this money. If there's anything I can do-" he started.

"So this is it?" I wasn't really angry or even upset I just couldn't believe what was happening.

"For now at least." He stood up. "I'll keep let you know if I think we can get you back, but your best bet is to look for an other job." I knew he was trying to be nice and to help me, but I didn't want an other job! I just started to not hate this one.

"Thank you for doing everything you could," I shook his hand. My heart was starting to race, I told myself to get a grip.

"The pleasure's all mine." He told me as I walked out. I bee lined out of there didn't stop for Linda or anyone to say anything to me.

I walked on the sidewalk in the opposite direction of my car for a minute trying to think about what I was going to do now. Finally fed up I got in my car and drove to Buck's. I opened the door and walked straight to Travis' room. I didn't see Buck or Darry anywhere.

I knocked on the door then waited for him to come.

"Mary, hey," he seemed surprised to see me. "I thought you had to work?  
>"Yeah, that's a funny story," I sighed. I was so stressed my hands were trembling.<p>

"Come on in," he moved out of the way. "What happened?"

"Someone made a complaint about me," I sat on his bed and he sat on his dresser across form me.

"What does that mean?" He asked again.

"It means I got fired from a job that pays our bills. Especially now that Darry isn't working as many hours." I leaned back.

"Who complained?"

"I don't know, someone who was there during the fight," I rubbed my forehead. "What am I going to tell Darry? He's so excited about his new football job."

"It wasn't your fault, you didn't start the fight." He moved over beside me. We didn't say anything for a few minutes. I know that I didn't start the fight, but I also didn't really blame Soda for starting it. In his head he was protecting out family name, which I guess I get.

"What now?" He asked me.

"I don't know." I sat back up. I had no idea what I was going to do now. I knew we needed the money, and I knew I couldn't tell Darry. I needed to find an other job fast.

I looked over to the dresser and something caught my eye. A camouflage uniform draped over the back of his chair. His eyes followed mine, and before I could even ask he stepped in front of my line of vision.

"What," I started pointing across the room.

"I was going to tell you." He sighed and moved back beside me.

"You were going to tell me what?" I was confused on what I was seeing.

"I didn't think anyone was coming up today, usually put it away." He mumbled. My head was still skipping back in time and put pieces together.

"All this time, oh god," I stopped and put my head in my hands. It all started to make sense.

"I didn't want to tell you and scare you. I thought I'd tell you when the time was right." He tried to reason with me.

"When is the time right, Travis? When you leave unexpected, because you made it pretty clear that you can be gone at anytime!" I stood up.

"You have a right to be mad, you've been nothing but honest with me." He stayed calm, which almost made me even more angry.

"Don't tell me how I feel! You're in the army, fine, good for you! That's a very respectful job to have." I turned and started towards the door.

"Mary," he followed me. At one point on the stairs he caught my hand, and I pushed him off.

"I'm a temporay friend is that what you liked about me. Get to know me tell me to trust you because it doesn't matter you can be gone when ever! Don't touch me," I left Buck's with out even looking back. My heart was literally racing, and I didn't exactly know why. It wasn't like we were dating, I wasn't even attracted to him, so I didn't know why I cared if his job involved people shooting at him.

"Keep it together Myra, deep breaths," I tried to think of my dad when I said that. I thought it would give me some peace, but it did the exact opposite. "Damn it," I growled wiping a stray tear from my cheek. I wasn't driving down the road five miles when I saw Sandy walking on the sidewalk. She looked like hell. I didn't want to stop, because Sandy was a talker, and I was not in a talking mood, but I didn't want to just drive by and hope she didn't see me. I slowed down beside her. "Sandy, get in, I'll give you a ride." I tried to smile so it looked like I wanted her to get in.

She hesitated, but after a second she got in, "Thanks," I could tell she had been crying. Well now I just didn't know what to say. Was I suppose to start guessing on what was wrong?

"Where we headed?" I kept my eyes forward, I didn't want to watch her cry.

"I have nowhere to go." She whimpered.

"Want to go to my place? Soda and Steve are there." I suggested.

"I can't go to your place," she started crying more.

"What about your house?" I didn't know what was going on.

"I definitely can't go there." She covered her face with her hand.

I knew I was going to regret asking my next question, but in a loss of better words I spoke up, "what's wrong?"

"I can't tell you, you'll tell Soda." That was true, I would tell Soda if it was something he needed to know.

"What could you have done to make Soda upset? He is never mad! When we were little one time I tore his favorite-" I tried to be funny and tell her a funny story as we approached my house, but she interrupted me.

"Keep driving, please!" She begged me. "I'm pregnant." I slammed on breaks hard when she said that.

"Oh goodness." I finally said after stuttering for a minute. "Soda's the best guy to be pregnant with. Well, not that I'd want to be pregnant with him, but he's gonna be one hell of a dad." I tried to find a silver lining for Sandy's sake, but in my head I was continuously saying 'oh shit.'

"He's not the father." She started balling.

"What do you mean he's not the father! How do you know! He told me that you slept together." I realized I was parked in the middle of our road staring mouth open at Sandy.

"I didn't sleep with Soda until after I knew I was already pregnant." Her eyes were blood shot red. I felt bad for her until I thought about how Soda was going to feel. When she said that I wanted to throw up.

"You know what you're going to do?" I pointed my finger at her. "You're going to march your butt in there and tell Soda right now. He needs to know."

"My parents are going to kill me." She whined.

I pulled into out drive way, got out and opened her door. "If you don't tell him by the time I get back, I will." I leaned over and honked the horn of the truck. I knew someone would come out before Sandy could leave.

I started walking away from our house, but I had no idea where I was going to go. I had nowhere to go. When I stopped walking I noticed that I was close to the Sheppard's house. I knew I had hit rock bottom then, but I didn't even care. I knew I couldn't go home to a sad Soda, I couldn't go to Buck's because of Travis, and I couldn't go to Two-bit's because I left him at the diner.

I knocked on the door twice before opening it a little. I didn't know if I was going there to see Angela or Tim. I made myself look like a fool in front of Tim, but Angela was in bad shape last time I saw her. I knew I didn't want to see Curly, but he wasn't usually around their house too much.

Tim met me at door, "Mary, come on in. You know you don't have to knock." He didn't have his shirt on, and I couldn't tell if he just woke up.

"Angela went out with Sylvia." He told me sitting down on the couch.

"I wasn't really here to see her." I shrugged sitting in the chair across from him.

"Yeah?" He smiled a goofy smile and motioned for me to sit beside him. "Aren't you suppose to be at work?" He pulled my top shirt up revealing my work uniform.

"Among other things." I muttered leaning into him.

He draped his arm over my shoulder, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Paradise huh, is that what you call it?" I certainly didn't' feel like I as anywhere near paradise.

"Yeah, I guess that wasn't my best phrase," he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I in return kissed his lips. He didn't fight me this time, and he seemed more relaxed.

"What's different about now?" I asked him as he laid down.

"What do you mean?" He moved his hand low on my back.

"You couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"You're sober. This isn't the alcohol talking." He gently pulled my shirt off. It wasn't hard to do it was a baggy shirt.

"Can we go to your room?" I was uncomfortable on the couch.

"Are you bashful all of a sudden?" he laughed at me sitting up.

"Oh don't flatter yourself, your couch blows." He picked me up and carried me to his room.

"If you drop me, it will kill the mood." I warned him as he opened his door.

"You hardly weigh ten pounds!" He laughed closing the door and laying me on his bed.

"I guess I made your life easier, you're welcome." I helped him pull my uniform top off.

"Easy is good." He pulled off his pants as I rolled under the sheets.

"I didn't know you like to have fun sober," He kissed my neck as he pulled off my bra.

"I didn't know that you had a conscience." I put my hands on his back.

"I resent that!" He laughed pulling off my panties from under the sheets. I thought that I would tell him to stop, or that I would be scared, but I wasn't.

"You sure about this?" He was holding himself up.

"I am, are you not?" I kissed his cheek.

"You've never been with anyone like me Blondie," He winked. He was right too. I had slept with a couple guys, but never ones that I wasn't in a relationship with and it wasn't nearly as enjoyable.

"Did I meet up to your standards?" He asked when we finished. He rolled over and laid beside me.

"I don't know, we could use some more practice," I looked up at him smiling.

"That can be arranged." He laughed. "What happened at work that drove you here?" He got more serious.

"Oh please, nothing drove me here. I walked here." I nudged him.

"Seriously, Mary." He didn't think I was funny.

"I promise, I didn't come here because I had a bad day. I've wanted to do this for a while." I was mostly telling the truth. Work was not the only reason I came here. Sandy had a part to do with it too.

"You've been thinking about it for a while, yeah?" He was smiling again.

"You've never thought about it?" I started to feel stupid.

"Oh, I have, but I always thought you were out of my league, and I never thought you were interested." He put his arm around me again.

"Why do people always do that? Put me on some pedestal. I'm certainly not perfect. I never have been."

"You are for a greaser girl. Think about it. When's the last time you screwed up?" He tested me.

"Someone complained about me at work, and I just got fired." I told him flatly.

"Someone complained?" He rolled over on his side and looked at me.

"Yeah, Dally, Two-bit, and Soda got into it with some Soc's at the diner a little while back. You didn't know about that?" I was surprised he didn't already know.

"Right, but you didn't fight anyone, so you didn't do anything wrong right?" He had a good point.

"I guess, but I am still out of a job, which is one less paycheck. It'll stress Darry out, especially since he just took this coaching job. Soda will insist on trying to work more." My head started to hurt, and I started to feel tension in my shoulders. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to have to tell them.

"It wasn't your fault." He twirled my hair around his finger.

"That doesn't really mean anything," I admitted. It was quiet for a while, before he finally spoke up. I wondered what he was thinking about. He had a real serious look on his face.  
>"What's with you and Travis? He asked out of the blue.<p>

"Travis, he's my friend- I guess," I squished up my face.

"You two don't have anything going on?" He moved his arm and sat up.

"Not in a million years. Where did you get that from?" Was he jealous?

"People talk, it is Tulsa." He reminded me.

"I know, but that doesn't mean you should listen. If him and I were in a relationship I wouldn't have come here." I was starting to get annoyed with all of his questions. This was suppose to be easy, it was suppose to be fun.

"It just seems weird to me that you came here all of a sudden." He tried to get me relaxed, but I wasn't comfortable anymore.

"Maybe I wanted your company, maybe I wanted you." I started to get up. I didn't feel like I was lying. I wanted him to be a distraction, but I was interested in him. In the back of my head I wanted him to want me too.

"Aw, come on, don't leave angry." He reached for my arm.

"I'm not angry." I stopped and looked back to him. That was true, I wasn't angry, I just didn't want to be there anymore.

"Then, what's the rush? I've heard that I'm good company," He winked at me. I couldn't help but smile at him. He was a corny kind of cute.

"Why not, I have no where else to go." I spoke truthfully. As I got back in bed I thought about what I was going to do when I left. There wasn't really anywhere for me to go. I didn't want to go home to see a sad Soda, and I didn't want to have to tell them I was fired. I couldn't go find Travis, because I was mad at him. I couldn't go to Buck's because Travis would be there. I was in a triple loose situation.

"I'm hungry." Tim broke my concentration. I didn't really respond I just looked at him. "What can I say, I always get hungry after great sex," he smiled getting up.

"What happens when it isn't great?" I wondered.

"Eh, I'm still hungry. Want to go out?"

"I'm not hungry, plus I don't really look decent to go out. You go, though."  
>"You look fine," he rolled his eyes. "Come on, I'll buy." He pleaded with me.<p>

"There's not anywhere I want to go." I told him mater of factly.

"There's gotta be somewhere princess," he sat up.

"You go!" I pushed him away I was still kidding, but not as much as I had been previously.

"Why are you being such a tease, just put on your clothes!" He threw my bra and panties at me.

"You're calling me names? Is that usually how you get what you want?" I stood up and started to get dressed with my back to him.

"Usually I don't have to work this hard," he admitted. I bet it was true. I knew the girls he slept with were easy, but when he told me no it made me want it so much more.

"You have a way with women Shepard," I walked out of his room with my shoes in my hand.

"So that's that?" He yelled after me.

"I turned around and looked at him. I guess that's up to you." I felt like that was a good way to leave it. I got what I wanted and if anything else was going to happen he could do the work. I was too damn tired to work at anything. I looked at my watch and it was about the time I usually got off work. I knew if I didn't go back soon someone would know something was up.

I started towards the house wondering what was going to be going on. Before I was ready I was walking up the steps to my house. I pulled open the screen door, and I didn't see anyone. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I let the door slam behind me a little to let anyone know I was home, and with the slamming door all hell broke loose.


	26. Chapter 26

"Mary, way to just ditch me at the diner! I had to walk my sorry butt all the way back here! What'd you leave so fast for?" Two-bit said from laying horizontally on our couch. I didn't even see him at first.

"Two-bit," I put my hand to my heart. It skipped a beat scaring me half to death. I was pretty sure one of these guys would kill me one day. "Just keep your trap shut, I'll tell you about it later, can you do that?" I didn't really believe that he would, but I just needed time.

"I guess it's the least I can do. I don't know what you did to piss off-" He started right as Soda came out of his room.

"What the hell did you do to Sandy?" Soda had a horrible tone in his voice.

"What did_ I_ do to Sandy?" I repeated not understanding why he sounded so nasty.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! She got out of the car crying about you!" He pointed his finger at me.

"Wait, she didn't talk to you?" I put my hand up.

"She told me that you threatened her!" Soda was yelling, right as Travis walked in the door. Both of our eyes turned towards him, but neither of us said anything. Steve walked over to him, at the same time as Darry walked out of his room. I assumed the yelling woke him up from a nap.

"I knew you didn't like her, but to threaten her! She told me not to even bother calling her. What did you say?" His words were stabbing me.

"Soda, she didn't tell you anything? She didn't give you any news?" I was trying to hint, but he was just getting more angry.

"She was too upset from you to tell me pretty much anything! You've been acting weird lately, and I've been fine with it, but when you mess up what Sandy and I have you have gone too damn far!" Soda was getting upset.

"Now, hold on Soda," Darry stepped in.

"No, Darry, this is in between us-" Soda put out his arm. "First you almost ruined mine and Steve's relationship, and now you are trying to ruin mine and Sandy's! Is it because I told you I loved her? Did it make you jealous, or what?" He didn't stop he just kept screaming. At this point all of the guys were sitting down trying to make it less uncomfortable.

"There's something she was suppose to tell you! You need to talk to her." I tried to stay calm, but I was starting to feel like hell.

"She isn't going to talk to me because of you!" He had tears of anger in his eyes. It was killing me to see him so out of character.

"Soda she needs to be the one to tell you, you don't want to hear it from me." I was fighting tears, but I was just so drained I didn't have the energy to cry!

"Hear what?" He softened his tone a little, but not much.

"Soda, please!" I begged.

"Don't please me Mary!" He hit his fist against the wall making me jump. There was a pause where I tried to think of the best way to put it.

"Mary!" He yelled.

"Soda, come on buddy cool it." Darry stood up. I don't think Darry knew what to do either.

"Sandy's pregnant." I finally spoke, and Darry sat back down.

Soda's face softened, "Why was she so upset, why didn't she tell me?" Soda asked as Steve clamped his hand on Soda's shoulder.

"I shouldn't tell you, you need to ask her." I had my eyes closed.

"No," he fought me. Damn was her persistent.

"Soda," I sighed, "You're not the father." The tear I had been fighting rolled down my cheek.

"No! That's a lie!" He yelled.

"I saw her outside a health clinic, I gave her a ride and she told me. I told her that if she didn't tell you I would."

"I have to talk to her." Soda's face was white as a sheet. I turned and hurled in the bathroom. I didn't think anyone even noticed because Darry and Steve were both talking over each other giving Soda advice. I walked to my room and struggled to put on more clothes as Johnny came in. He didn't say anything at first he just looked at me.

I looked at him as he sat there. I felt bad because I knew he didn't like it when we fought."I'm sorry it seems like we are always fighting." I sat down on the corner of the bed as I caught my breath. It felt like I had run a marathon. I was kind of impressed with the fact that I was able to form sentences. I always got frustrated when I would cry, and I couldn't speak.

"Where's Pony?" I thought suddenly. I hoped like hell he hadn't heard any of that.

"He went to see a movie." Johnny told me.

"Oh good, I wish you woulda gone too," I stood up and put all of my books in my backpack. I grabbed a couple things off my desk, and then turned and looked at Johnny. Trying to be as tough as I could I stared at him. "You keep an eye on everyone, hold down the forts. I'll see you at school tomorrow," I ruffled his hair and opened my bedroom window.

"Wait, Mary!" Johnny spoke louder than I had heard in a while. I shifted my body to half look at him as I started to climb out. "Don't leave," he looked sympathetic. I felt bad for him because I didn't want to leave Johnny upset, he had had a rough few weeks.

"I can't stay here pal, you understand don't you?" I looked at him until he answered.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders and spoke softly.

"Look, Pony's gonna need you when he comes home. You know how much he looks up to Soda, just be there for him you know? I'll be back," I climbed down the window and left before he could even respond.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"I'm sorry little buddy, I don't know what to tell you," Darry had his hand on Soda's shoulder. He looked like he was going to throw up and pass out at the same time.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to talk to her, do you want to go over there?" Steve didn't like seeing him like that anymore than I did.

"Or we can go get wasted, that always makes me feel better," Two-bit also looked concerned. I knew he was trying to crack jokes to lighten the mood like he always did.

"I need out of here!" Soda pushed everyone's hands off of him.

"Soda!" Darry grabbed him before he got too far. "I can't let you leave right now. You'll do something you'll regret. Trust me." I knew Darry was doing what he thought was best, and maybe it was. Soda would probably do something stupid considering his state of mind, but Darry grabbing him like that wasn't going to go over well.

"Get off!" He struggled.

"Soda," Steve started.

"Darry, stop!" In the moment of distress Soda lashed out at Darry giving him a shiner across the jaw. It didn't look like it hurt too bad, but it took everyone by surprise. Darry's next move was better, he draped his arm over Soda and Soda leaned into him as he fell apart.

"I love her," he cried. Everyone just watched, no one knew what to say. I was looking out the window because I didn't know where else to look when I saw Pony walking up.

"Uh, guys, here comes Pony." Steve grabbed Soda's arm and lead him to their room. Darry moved over to the kitchen before Soda pulled open the door. I kept seeing more and more every time I was around them how much they looked out for Pony.

"Hey Kiddo," Darry forced a smile.

"Hey, man," I chimed in. "I was waiting on you."

"Me?" Pony asked.

"Yeah, I need someone to help me get my lazy butt to the track. Care to be my inspiration?" I glanced at Darry and saw him shake his head my direction.

"Yeah, let me change real fast." Pony's eyes light up. I knew Darry saw it to.

"Let me grab it for you," Darry cut in. Pony didn't seem to realize what was going on, and Darry seemed to be thankful for that.

"Where are we headed?" Pony asked as Darry walked into Soda and Pony's room.

"I was thinking your track again?" I didn't really know of any place else to go. He seemed okay with that and walked to the bathroom with the clothes Darry gave him.

"Thanks man," Darry nodded his head at me.

"I don't mind. He's good company." Darry looked like hell. I felt badly for him, but I didn't know what to do or to say. "I don't know if you want to hear this from me, it's not really my place-" I started talking and Darry looked up interested in what I was about to say.

"There's no use in stopping him. What ever he wants to do you have to let him, if not this anger and pain he's feeling will just get worse. He really loves her, and he's the only one that is gonna know what to do next." I was trying to explain to him what I was thinking with out making him angry. I knew that the last thing Darry wanted right now was to listen to someone tell him what to do.

"He's too young to be in love, look where it ends up putting you!" Darry pulled a beer out of the fridge after looking at it for a long time.

"You ever have a girl break your heart?" I asked him making small talk.

"Not to this magnitude," he tilted up his glass and took a long swig. His face showed that he hadn't drunk one in a while.

"Did a girl run you here?" Darry guessed.

"Quite the opposite." I laughed thinking about how wrong he was.

"You running away from one?" He asked again.

"Not a girl."

"Then what?" Darry wasn't going to stop until he got answers.

"I'm in the army." I looked him in the eye.

"Oh come on, tell me something I didn't know." Darry finished off his drink.

"I'm on leave indefinitely, and a buddy of mine told me to come here. Told me it would help me clear my head. Apparently he didn't know this family!" I added the last part trying to be funny, he didn't laugh.

"Mary can't solve your problems." Darry spoke bluntly. I respected that. He was watching out for her. "I don't know if you've noticed but we've got a lot going on here. I don't know if she needs someone playing with her head."

I couldn't help but laugh at Darry just then. I wrinkled my eye brows as I wondered what I could say to satisfy what he wanted to hear. He didn't have a clue. "Solve my problems, man you couldn't be any farther off. I like being around her. She gives me hope. But it is a two way street. She doesn't mind being around me either." I looked at him hard and he softened his eyes. I completely understood that Darry was stressed far more than anyone his age should ever be, and his family had been through hell, I wasn't denying any of that. But, what I couldn't seem to make any of them understand was how lucky they were to still have each other. Each one of them seemed to jeopardize that everyday with out even meaning to.

Finally I spoke again, "You might have gotten your wish though. Mary's not talking to me. In her mind I lost her trust. So, I'm going to leave you with this and you'll never see me again." I took a gamble and put my finger on his chest.

"You're the quarter back of this family. So, you have to keep you cool no matter what. When you fight with Pony it upsets Soda who worries Mary. You have to find a way to talk to him or he's gonna rebel like you've never seen." Right at that moment Pony walked out of the bathroom, but I wasn't done yet. "Hey man, here's the keys. I'll meet you out there." I threw them to him. I could tell he knew something was up, but I figured I could work that out later.

"He's a good kid. You expect a lot out of him, and you should, but for now expect less." I took my hand away from him and turned to walk out the door with out saying an other word. As I walked to the car I kept thinking about what just went down. I didn't know if I did the right thing or not. I got in my car all the same putting the key in the ignition letting out a long sigh.

"You okay?" Pony asked me.

"I could always be worse." I started backing out of the driveway.

"What were you talking to Darry about?"

"Well here's the thing man," I started to tell him everything. He was old enough. Everyone expected him to be a man, but no one seemed to treat him like one.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I drove around Tulsa for several hours until the tank went to half full. I didn't want to have to fill it up so I parked on the side of the road. It was starting to get dark and I still did not know where to go. I noticed that the gym Travis took me to that one time was right down the street. I followed the road and pulled into the parking lot. I expected the gym to be closed, but it wasn't. There was a large window in front of the gym and there were people practing right in front of me. I was surprised that they were still at it in there. I watched as they moved in ways that didn't seem possible. I always dreamed of being like one of them when I was younger, but things changed and I honestly never once regretted it.

I slouched down in my seat as I watched them finish up. When I saw them putting on their clothes I slouched down in my seat hoping none of them would see me. I didn't know why I chose to sit outside here, but I didn't want to leave yet. I got my wish, and everyone left. I closed my eyes and leaned my head up against the steering wheel. I did something I hadn't done in a while, but I didn't know what else to do. I prayed.

Next thing I knew someone knocked on my window scaring the living Jesus out of me. I smacked my head on the window giving myself an instant headache. "Get out, come on inside." The man instructed. My heart started to pound worse then my head as I wondered what was about to happen. Was I trespassing? Did he call the police? For some reason I did as he said, and I followed him inside.

He looked at me from head to toe making me uncomfortable, but then he spoke. "You better get changed if you want to get to school on time. There's a shower in there." He pointed.

"Uh," I stuttered not knowing what to say. He looked at me waiting for me to figure out what I wanted to say. "You're not going to call the police are you?"

"No, I'm not," he didn't express emotion. I was thankful he was going to let me shower. It would be hard to go about my day like I was fine if I looked like I wasn't.

As I was in the shower my head kept going to how odd it was that he just let me use their shower with out asking any questions. The more I thought about it the more peculiar it seemed. It didn't really phase me too much, because I couldn't really think of what might happen. I got out toweling off with the towel that was neatly folded on a stool in the bathroom. I ran my fingers through my hair the best I could trying to make it look like I made it messy on purpose. I also put on a new outfit that I had in the truck. My stuff often accumulated in the truck from work, school, or other activities. I felt a little better too after I got cleaned up. I put on a little make up and the walked out the bathroom. I tried to be extra quiet hoping I could leave with out him knowing, but I failed.

"You ought to lock your door next time, someone could come up and grab you before you even notice. This is Tulsa, you know." He said from his desk with out looking up.

"I will do that, thank you." I walked out as fast as I could. I pretty much ran. I didn't have much time before classes started anyway. Plus, I needed to find Steve or Two-bit to see if Soda and Sandy made any progress.

It was about a 15 minute drive to school and all I thought about the whole drive was how badly I needed coffee. I made it to school somehow, my body had a magical auto pilot that saved me in more ways than I can count. I put the truck in park and got out walking towards the building. I got to my locker racking my brain to remember if I read the reading for biology. Pony spotted me before I could have gotten away.

"Mary," he called making me look up.

"Hey, Pony." I gave him a smile trying to play it off like I had it all together.

"Where were you this morning?"

"You know, I can't even really tell you to be honest. Have you talked to Soda?"

"A little last night. Travis told me what happened." Pony surprised me.

"Travis?" I was shocked.

"Yeah he told me everything, Mar-" I cut him off.

"You know pal, its not a good time. Is Sandy here?" I was not about to think about Travis .

"Yeah, she's trying to find Soda. Soda dropped us off today."

"Alright, that's probably good. Did Darry notice I was gone?" I didn't know if Johnny would have told Darry or not.

"He didn't say anything to me. He was up all night with Soda. He wouldn't let me stay up to help." I knew that probably made Pony upset, and on other circumstances I would have justified it to make him feel better, but right now I didn't want to.

"Mary," Angela came up behind me and Pony.

"Hey Ang," I noticed she looked flustered, I knew that couldn't be good.

"I need to talk to you, now." She looked at Pony.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" I half hugged Pony. It was more for my comfort than his. Pony seemed like he had it all under control for the first time in a while.

"Angela, you gotta me nicer to him," I sighed I knew she was not going to listen to what I was saying, but I felt like I should at least say it.

"Mary, I'm late." Angela said making my head start throbbing.

"Shit," I said with out thinking.

"Will you come with me to the gas station to take a test?" Her bottom lip started to quiver.

"I'll drive." I put my hand on her back. I knew skipping my classes was a bad idea, but Angela needed me to be there. She was like me. She had no one. Neither of us spoke until we got to the DX. I prayed Soda wasn't going to show up, I knew he was working today, but I figured that he would come in late.

We got out of the car and I was stressing, so I could not imagine how badly she must be feeling. I opened the door to the DX and she followed me in.

"Curtis, your brother just called me and said he was gonna be late! Is he okay, he didn't sound it." I recognized him, and I could have probably remembered his name if I was thinking straight, but I wasn't and I was drawing a blank.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He had to make a stop before he got here's all." I hoped I was right. At this point I didn't even know if I believed what I was saying.

"All right, in that case can I help you with something?" He was being awful polite, and I felt bad for being short with him.

"Uh no, we got it, but can you keep it between us. Don't tell Soda?" I asked him taking the test from Angela. He looked at me confused at first, but after a second I think he got it.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't breath a word." He rung it up. I paid him as Angela went to the bathroom. I paced around hard as she was in there. I didn't even know what to do if it was positive.

"How's uh, how's everything been." He tried to take my mind off Angela.

"Oh, it's been fine. You know, just a little busy. It keeps me young though." I remember my dad saying that multiple times I figured I might as well say it now.

"I came to your parents service, it was real nice." He told me as Angela walked out. She was shaking that stick up and down like she was angry.

"I can't look," she handed it to me. She was sweating profusely. I stared at that stick until I saw the little plus sign show up. I looked at it twice incase I saw it wrong, but it didn't change.

"You know sometimes the first time is wrong. It could say positive, but it could actually mean negative. You should try again." I decided to be positive.

"No!" She grabbed it from my hand as I went to get her an other test.

"Mary, what am I going to do!" She started to panic.

"You're going to go back in there and take the test again!" I handed it to her.

"I don't even have to pee!" She cried.

"Here, the water's on me." He handed her a huge bottle.

"I'd rather have a beer." She whined.

"Girl, I don't know if you can have one of those for a while. Drink it, fast." I instructed. She started pacing around the store the way I was earlier. I closed my eyes for a split second and heard the bell ring on the door.

"Mary," the cashier said softly. I looked up and saw Soda. Neither of us said anything at first.

"Did you talk to her." I finally spoke.

"I told her I loved her." He looked down at the ground. "I told her I wanted to marry her anyway. I told her I would be a father to her baby." He stopped as he started to tear up. My heart was breaking for him. "She's moving to Florida to stay with her grandmother." He gripped the side of the counter.

"Soda," I put my hands on top of his. I thought about apologizing to him right then, because I was sorry about how it came out. But I wasn't okay with him treating me like crap. He had been so quick to blame me on everything lately.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Angela." I pointed.

"I drank the whole damn bottle, so if that didn't do it I don't know what could!" She came around and saw Soda.

"Oh hell no." She covered her face with her eyes.

"Go to the bathroom, I'll hold my breath." I told her. I didn't honestly believe holding my breath would do any good, but I felt like it couldn't do any harm.

"Is she?" Soda started.

"We don't know yet."

"Oh man."  
>"That's what I said too."<p>

"Damn it, Mary, I can't go!" She said loud enough for me to hear.

"Try to relax, you must be stressed." I didn't mean for it to sound conceded, but the way Angela heard it it was.

"I know you did not just tell me I was stressed! No shit Mar, no shit!" I almost laughed at her then because I was so exhausted.

"What's going on?" Soda finally asked. I assumed he would have been able to figure it out by now, but I assumed wrong. I didn't know how he would handle a pregnancy scare for Angela. Not only was he not a huge fan of Angela, but I'm sure anyone being pregnant would not make Soda feel so great.

"Angela's taking a test." I really hoped he would figure the rest out himself.

"How the hell?" Soda started. He looked mad. That was not a good look for Soda. I did feel bad for him, but I really just wished he wasn't there right now.

"This has to be a joke?" He said again.

"It's not, and she doesn't want people to know. You don't know the whole story." I tried to explain with out having to go into much detail. Angela walked out of the bathroom stall with her face as red as a tomato. I had an over whelming feeling in my stomach making me feel like I was gonna pass out. I took the test out of her hand look at it, and the tried my hardest to think of something to say.

"You can't tell anyone." She pointed at Soda.

"What is it with girls thinking they can keep it a secret! Be a human being and tell the father!" Soda steamed. I knew what he was talking about, but I knew Angela did not.

"You can't judge me!" I felt like Angela's anger was masking how upset she was. Right now she was so confused on how she felt, anger was what she knew the best.

"I _can_ judge you, you can't tell me you don't know what happens when you have sex!" Soda shouted at this point.

"I was raped you ass hole!" Angela met his yell then stormed at of the DX before I could even attempt to stop her. The next thing surprised me even more: Soda went after her.

"You okay?" The cashier asked me after I stood there not knowing what to do.

"Yeah, thanks." I responded on instinct. I wanted out of the DX to my car on auto pilot. I knew I had to get back to school for my classes. I had already missed most all of my first one, and most of my second, but I couldn't really miss anymore. There wasn't anything I could do for Angela, and right now I didn't want to have too much to do with Soda. When he wanted to talk I knew he would find me, but it wasn't going to be the other way around.

I parked the truck and started walking towards my second class. I was glad Two-bit and Steve were in that class, because they would always piss the teacher off enough that she wouldn't care I was late.

I walked in and everyone turned and watched. I hated it when people did that to me, but honestly I did it to them too so I could only be so upset.

The teacher didn't even care she just kept on talking as I sat beside Two-bit.

"Late start?" Two-bit nudged me.

"Something like that."

"Where were you this morning?" Steve leaned over.

"I left before you, did anyone say anything?" I turned and faced him.

"I'm not even sure they noticed." Steve shrugged. Normally he would make some cheap shot joke and I would roll my eyes, but both of us were too damn tired.

"Did you stay over last night?" I whispered, I couldn't even guess what all happened after I left this morning.

"Yeah, stayed up most of the night with Soda. Darry did too." Steve looked tired; I could tell he had been up all night. I worried a little about Darry being up so late on top of a rough.

I put my head down on my desk for the remainder of the class, I didn't even try to listen. I had this dull achy pain in my head. It was almost behind my eyes in my eye sockets.

Next we had lunch, and I honestly didn't even want to move to go to lunch.

"Come on Mar," Two-bit nudged me when everyone was leaving. He gave me a look letting me know I needed to pull it together. I appreciated that. I guess if I had to choose one of the guys I was closest to it would be Two-bit. Probably because he didn't give a damn about anything at all. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't actually close with any of them. Before My parents died we had little to nothing to do with each other. The only reason we even come in to contact with each other now if because I am home more often, and so are they I guess. I followed them both to the cafeteria where we met up with Pony, Curley, Dally, and Sylvia.

"I heard about Sandy and Soda man, that blows." Dally sat down with all of us. Coming from Dally that actually meant a lot I nodded my head acknowledging what he had said.

"Yeah, man, he's taking it really hard." Steve added. I thought that was kind of obvious. Any idiot knew he was crazy about her.

"He ended up making it to work though, I saw him at the DX." I pointed out.

"Speaking of work, Mary, anything interesting happen at the diner lately?" Curly looked at me weird. I got kind of hot and flustered when he said that, I did not know why.

"What do you mean? I never knew what that kid was talking about. He had this way of just really pissing me off.

"I think you know what I mean," he winked at me. It was a creepy wink too.

"What the hell kid, clearly she does not know what you are talking about!" Sylvia added making me smile. She was quite a character.

"I just know how her boss feels about civil disobedience, and I know the fight that broke out caused a lot of people to avoid the diner." He just kept talking, and he would not stop.

"You wouldn't," I challenged him. I knew where he was going with this, but I didn't know how he knew. Now I started to get red faced. I could tell.

"Oh I would!" Curly smiled an evil smile.

"What are you talking about?" Steve growled at Curly. Everyone seemed to be on a short temper today.

"Mary here had a complaint called against her at work!" He kept going.

"So, people complain about _you_ all the time?" Two-bit started laughing at his own joke. I did too, sometimes he was pretty funny.

"You ass hole," I started to put the pieces together.

"See, it must be comments like that, that make you look bad. I know that's what did it for me." He had this smug look on his face. I wanted to smack it off so bad.

"You didn't, how could you!" I stared to get mad.

"I was looking out for the safety of others!"

"You bastard! It was _you_?" I stood up fuming.

He didn't even respond, no one did.

"I'm lost," I heard Sylvia whisper to Dally. All of the guys were watching me now trying to figure out what was going on.

"You don't even understand what you've done, when are you going to grow the hell up and realize that not everything is a joke! When you screw with me you are messing up my whole family!"

"Is everything okay over here?" A teacher I had never seen walked over.

"Yes ma'am, never better!" Two-bit put his hand on my back and tried to make me sit down. My head was racing, I did not even know what to do. Curly was behind me getting fired, how is that even possible. The more I thought about it, the more I understood it.

"This is bull shit!" I said loud enough to make the whole cafeteria be completely silent.

"Why don't you just calm down and come with me young lady." The teacher put her hand on my arm. There was no way in hell I was going anywhere with this teacher.

"You go to hell Curly," I pointed at him as I jerked my arm away from the teacher and pretty much ran out of the school. I could feel that I was going to cry. I hated it when I got this. This only happened when I was beyond exhausted and stressed. I wouldn't know what to do, so I would just want to cry.

I opened the door to leave and was almost to the truck when I heard my name.

"Hey Curtis!" I knew who it was before I even turned around. I told myself to get it together before I turned around, but I honestly had less than half a second and there was no way to pull it together then. He noticed too.

"Get in," he opened the door from the inside. I got in an held my breath to prevent myself from crying.

We drove back to his house in complete silence. It wasn't but a two minute drive, so it wasn't really uncomfortable, but when he put it in park and looked at me I was still on the edge of crying.

"What coulda happened so bad so early in the day?" He looked at me.

"You don't wanna know." I choked out with a chuckle. He looked at me, then he looked back to the road. I could tell he was thinking about something, but I could not put my finger on what it was. I forced deep breathes to calm down. I was not about to cry infront of Tim Shepard.

I hadn't had a gentleman in my life for quite a while now.

"Well, I don't even know where to start," I got out of the car.

"Start at the beginning," he led me into the house. I followed leaning up against the wall as he went in the kitchen.

"Is it too early for beer?" I knew for me it wasn't, but some people didn't appreciate that. I didn't think that Tim would care, but I thought I better ask just to be on the safe side.

"I guess not." He laughed easy bringing one to me. He sat on his couch, but I started walking back to his room, he too followed me.

"You gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" He pulled a sheet up on the bed and then lay down.

"Nope," I laid down beside him. He didn't say anything at first he just looked at me. I took that time to kiss him.

"You know, most girls won't shut up," he pulled away from me.

"Good thing I'm not like most girls," I rolled on top of him.

"Can't argue with that." He laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

I knew something was wrong. Appearance wise she looked fine, better than fine she looked hot! But, when I looked closer I could tell she was pale and even a little shaky. The way she kissed me wasn't as passionate as last time either. It was like she was thinking about someone else. That made me paranoid. She pulled off her shirt, and I certainly was not going to object, but after a little while I rolled on top to change positions and I swear I saw a tear roll how her cheek, but as quickly as I saw it it was gone.I was taken by surprise and I didn't know what to do. Girls didn't cry when I slept with them. That just made me look bad.

"Mary," I finally said rolling over off of her.

"What's wrong?" She asked me, but her back was to me at this point.

"You tell me?" I twirled her hair around my finger. I pulled her into my arm and she laid her head on my chest. At first she pulled away, but after a second she laid into me.

"You can tell me," I encouraged.

"No, I can't." She fought me, "Please Tim," I felt a tear roll onto my chest. I didn't understand what was going on. I wasn't into talking about feelings and shit, but I wasn't about to have sleeping with a fragile person on my conscious.

I dated a lot of girls, I had slept with even more, I had even flirted with love once or twice, but never have I ever been as fascinated in a girl as I was with Mary. It could be her courage she had dealing with her parents' death, or maybe the intelligence she had, or it might have even been simply how low maintenance she was.

"Sandy's pregnant with someone else's baby," Mary told me as I rubbed her back. I paused rubbing it, and processed what she said.

"Shit," I mumbled.

"He got all mad at me last night and accused me of a whole lot of shit, so I slept in my car in a parking lot, because I couldn't even be around any of them," she put her hand inside of mine. "They just don't get it. All of them." She sighed.

"You could have come here," I said with out really thinking. She ignored me.

"Then, I got to school and had to go to the DX to get a pregnancy test for someone, and that was a fucking disaster, and Soda was there when it happened. Here's the best part. Your brother told me that he is the reason I got fired. He called and made some kind of complaint against me, and he told me at lunch in front of everyone, including Pony who didn't know I was fired. Real piece of work, that brother of yours." I expected her to cry at this point. She may have had the worst day in the history of worst days.

"I could kill him," I was getting angry. Why did he choose to do such dumb stunts?

"I called him a bastard, among other things, at school and got just about everyone's attention. Including a teacher who I pretty much ran away from. So probably just about now the principal is telling Darry how much of a disturbance I am, maybe they will just expel me." She didn't sound like she was kidding. She seemed like she didn't care whether she graduated or not.

"That son of a bitch," I said louder this time. She didn't say anything either.

"Is Darry," I started and then I stopped. I thought about what I was going to say. I didn't know much about Darry and Mary's relationship. "What's Darry going to do?" I had heard Curly tell me that he would light into Pony pretty hard about school I did not know if that was the same for her too.

"I have no idea," she said with out even a pause like she had been thinking about it also.

"I'll talk to him, I'll make him fix it," I tried to get her to lie back down but she was too quick.

"No, that wouldn't do any good. My boss would probably be even madder if he found out what really happened. Just forget it, I don't know why I told you," She sighed putting back on her clothes. I was kind of offended she said that. Why wouldn't she tell me?

"You know we have to keep this a secret right?" She started looked at me in the eyes briefly for a while.

"Why exactly is that?" I too sat up. I wasn't going to go around telling the world I slept with Mary Curtis, but I wasn't going to act like it didn't happen.

"Angela is my friend, friends don't sleep with friends' brothers," she looked at me like it was stupid that I did not know that.

"Darry is my friend," I started to argue then I thought about it and understood her point. I didn't want to tell Darry we were sleeping together.

"I should go," she didn't leave room for me to plead her to stay. At this point I was going to give her what ever she wanted.

"Where you gonna go huh? Mary you can't just sleep in your car. You have to do something." She gave a look that she didn't care what I said so I gave in."I'll drive you back to your car," I started to get up.

"I really need to walk, will you go make sure that your siblings aren't out there will ya?" At first I thought she was kidding, but after a quick second I realized that she was not and I pulled the sheet off the bed and went to go see.

I didn't see anyone, and when I went back to tell Mary and she was gone.

xxxxxxxx

"I don't understand what just happened?" Pony asked as a teacher dragged Curly out of the cafeteria.

"I think Curly might be the reason Mary wasn't at work on Sunday," I thought out loud.

"He really is an ass hole," Sylvia seemed to be awfully flustered. Sylvia and Mary were always friends, but it wasn't until recently that they because super close. Angela was the reason for that; Angela was always with Sylvia so Mary started too.

"What's Darry going to say?" Steve spoke up.

"Christ, he just started that new part time job too," Evie told them.

"How did you know that?" Pony asked.

"Angela told me."

"What happened to make Curly such a jerk?" Karen asked. I knew that he tried to sleep with her when she was drunk and she turned him down, and ever since then he has been a devil too her, but I knew for sure that Pony didn't know she drank. I didn't even know if Steve knew. I kind of doubted that he knew, if he knew Soda would know.

"When are they gonna catch a break, huh?" Dally ate some potato chips off of Pony's tray.

"She's going to be lucky is she isn't suspended," Karen brought up what I hadn't even thought about. "That was pretty much a fight, and she is already on thin ice for skipping."

"Darry's going to flip," Evie also looked concerned.

"That's only if he finds out, kid," Steve nudged Pony.

"They'll call him, I bet they are now. They practically have our number memorized." Pony laughed a little.

"Soda and I have a thing or two to do with that," Steve started laughing. Everyone smiled and nodded their heads. Those two knew how to raise some cane.

"Where do you think she is now?" I asked. There was no telling.

"With Travis I am sure." Sylvia added. "What," she asked when we all looked at her. "They are really close she is always with him."

"Travis told me they had a fight. He didn't tell her he's in the army, and she found out by seeing his uniform." Pony filled us in. I started to really wonder how Mary was going to play everything out.

"He's in the army?" Dally repeated. "Well damn it all makes sense now."

"Where is she staying?" Evie asked starting to get the apprehension I had been feeling.

"Oh please, its Mary, she's fine," Dally was the first and the only to speak.

"It's different now, man." I tried to defend her because it seemed like the rest of them didn't even comprehend what was going on.

"What are we gonna do about Soda?" Steve gazed over to us.

"Hell if I know. I thought I'd take him out to get shit faced as soon as possible. Always works for me." I only knew love through Karen, and I couldn't imagine what I would do if she got knocked up.

"Whose the father anyway?" Sylvia asked we all had been thinking.

"Where do you think she is? You still go to school when your pregnant don't you?" Pony also brought up a valid point.

"I don't think her parents knew. Maybe she told them and she freaked out or something." Evie offered a valid point. I had forgotten briefly that Evie was Sandy's best friend.

"Did you know?" I asked her. I was out of line a little I guess, but I figured there was no harm in asking. Plus I never paid attention to lines anyway.

"I didn't have a clue. I didn't know she cheated on him either. I swear." She said it offally confidant. Like she had practiced or like she had said it before. It sounded fishy to me.

"Hey, when's Johnny planning on coming out of confinement?" Dally remind us all of a part of a past that also haunted us.

"Do you think you could help him Dal?" Pony seemed hopeful.

"Help him? Christ, want me to pick him up and drag him out?" Darry's attitude wasn't helping the situation much, but it had been a while since it happened. Most of his cuts and bruises were gone.

"I uhm, I'm moving out of my parents, for a while at least." Steve surprised all of us but Evie it looked like.

"So it was him?" Dally raised an eye brow.

"Yeah, it was," Evie spoke for him when he looked down.

"Good for you." Dally seemed to approve.

"Man look at us, we are a mess." I threw my napkin down laughing a little. It is pretty crazy how about three months ago none of this shit was happening.

We all got up and went to our last class, but I paid even less attention than usual. I didn't know if the Curtis' could handle a double hit like this. Loosing Sandy and Mary's job that was going to play all of them against each other.

Xxxxxxxxx

I got back to school and there were few cars there. No one seemed to stick around much after hours. I know I sure didn't. I don't know why I didn't drop out of school when Soda did. I had a steady job, if I would have just gone full time maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. What would a high school degree do for me? It wouldn't get me into college. I knew that I wasn't going to college even when my parents were alive. Even when we didn't live pay check to pay check I knew I wasn't going to college, but still I wanted my degree. When my parents died I felt like I was just so close to graduating it would be a shame to quit. I didn't realize it would be such a pain in the ass. I should have just packed up and moved. I should have just found a job in an other state and started a new life.

I walked past my car in the direction of the football field. Darry had his first practice today, and I was going to talk to him after practice. I was going to tell him that I needed some space and I was staying with Linda. I figured he would respect that. I remember once or twice him and my dad would have a conflict and he would flea to his football buddies houses. I even recall him staying with Tim, that seemed ironic now.

I had thought about coming clean and telling him everything, but even though Darry and I should be on the same page with a lot of things we really aren't that close. He actually wouldn't be able to handle anything I told him.

I got there before practice was over so I sat in the bleachers I watched him. He looked so happy, he was doing what he loved and I really respected that. I was proud of him. I knew he deserved this. I realized how hard everything had been and I understood how much pressure he felt everyday.

He was showing the guys a specific play, and he had this smile on his face that I could see all the way up from where I was sitting.

The more I watched him the more I realized why I didn't move when my parents died.

Xxxxxxxx

"Alright guys, I looked forward to our next practice. Thanks." I patted a couple of them on the back as they walked into the locker room.

"Man that was the rush it's the same I use to feel when I played!" I shook the coach's hand, " I really appreciate this."

"You deserve it. What you did today, it was more than I have gotten them to do since I have been here." The coach made me feel accomplished. I hadn't felt like that in a while.

"I think you may even have a fan," he pointed to the bleachers.

"Ha, that's my sister. You want to meet her, sir?" I offered. I was thrilled that she came to watch my first practice.

"An other time I'm sure," he walked to the locker room. I ran up the bleachers to see Mary.

"Mary, what did you think?" I couldn't wait to get some feed back. Mary didn't know much about football, but she usually came to some of my games.

"You looked very professional, those guys loved having you out here. You belong on the field you know." She gave me a warm smile. That felt nice. I let out a long sigh that had been building up all day, I loved coaching, but it was stressful I had to admit.

"I missed you this morning, I was a little surprised you weren't there." I added to remind her that she matters. What Travis told me the other day has really played with my mind.

"Yeah, I just had a lot to get done. Everything went fine right?" She didn't seem too concerned. It sounded like she asked because she had to, kind of like the greeting, 'hi, how are you.'

"Oh yeah, it was fine." I reassured her.

"You tired from coming straight from work to here?" Her question actually surprised me, I had not even thought about being tired.

"It's funny you say that, because I'm actually not. Beats me, how did I look?" Man, I loved this job.

"You're a natural!" She also smiled at me. I guess it was contagious.

"I gotta go pick up Soda from the DX, you drive here?" I stood up. "Maybe you can make Soda's favorite tonight to get him feeling a little better. After I asked I saw a look on Mary's face that made me regret that I asked.

"Yeah, I was just going to tell you that I'm going to be late tonight, you shouldn't wait up for me, coach." I liked hearing her call me coach, but I wasn't sure I understood why she was going to be late. Usually I would just agree and not ask questions, but I just had a feeling that I should keep asking.

"Oh yeah, you working?" I knew it was late for her to be working.

"No, I've just got some stuff, you know?" She seemed a little stressed, but I felt like all of us were.

"Does this have something to do with Travis?" I asked her. I wasn't necessarily trying to pry, but the way Travis was talking the other day had a feeling that they had a fight. I didn't know if they were dating or what, but he left out house as if her weren't coming back.

"Nah, everything's fine. Can you handle lunches, laundry, groceries and what not for a few days?" She was asking calmly like everything was normal, but for a few days? That didn't seem right.


	27. Chapter 27

"Mary, way to just ditch me at the diner! I had to walk my sorry butt all the way back here! What'd you leave so fast for?" Two-bit said from laying horizontally on our couch. I didn't even see him at first.

"Two-bit," I put my hand to my heart. It skipped a beat scaring me half to death. I was pretty sure one of these guys would kill me one day. "Just keep your trap shut, I'll tell you about it later, can you do that?" I didn't really believe that he would, but I just needed time.

"I guess it's the least I can do. I don't know what you did to piss off-" He started right as Soda came out of his room.

"What the hell did you do to Sandy?" Soda had a horrible tone in his voice.

"What did_ I_ do to Sandy?" I repeated not understanding why he sounded so nasty.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! She got out of the car crying about you!" He pointed his finger at me.

"Wait, she didn't talk to you?" I put my hand up.

"She told me that you threatened her!" Soda was yelling, right as Travis walked in the door. Both of our eyes turned towards him, but neither of us said anything. Steve walked over to him, at the same time as Darry walked out of his room. I assumed the yelling woke him up from a nap.

"I knew you didn't like her, but to threaten her! She told me not to even bother calling her. What did you say?" His words were stabbing me.

"Soda, she didn't tell you anything? She didn't give you any news?" I was trying to hint, but he was just getting more angry.

"She was too upset from you to tell me pretty much anything! You've been acting weird lately, and I've been fine with it, but when you mess up what Sandy and I have you have gone too damn far!" Soda was getting upset.

"Now, hold on Soda," Darry stepped in.

"No, Darry, this is in between us-" Soda put out his arm. "First you almost ruined mine and Steve's relationship, and now you are trying to ruin mine and Sandy's! Is it because I told you I loved her? Did it make you jealous, or what?" He didn't stop he just kept screaming. At this point all of the guys were sitting down trying to make it less uncomfortable. They were unsuccessful. I had only ever seen Soda this upset a handful of time. He rarely acted irrational.

"There's something she was suppose to tell you! You need to talk to her." I tried to stay calm, but I was starting to feel like hell. It seemed liked everyone jumped at me a lot lately.

"She isn't going to talk to me because of you!" He had tears of anger in his eyes. It was killing me to see him so out of character.

"Soda she needs to be the one to tell you, you don't want to hear it from me." I was fighting tears, but I was just so drained I didn't have the energy to cry!

"Hear what?" He softened his tone a little, but not much.

"Soda, please!" I begged.

"Don't _please_ me Mary!" He hit his fist against the wall making me jump. There was a pause where I tried to think of the best way to put it.

"Mary!" He yelled.

"Soda, come on buddy cool it." Darry stood up. I don't think Darry knew what to do either.

"Sandy's pregnant." I finally spoke, and Darry's jaw dropped as did several of the other guys.

Soda's face softened, "Why was she so upset, why didn't she tell me?" Soda asked as Steve clamped his hand on Soda's shoulder.

"I shouldn't tell you, you _need_ to ask her." I had my eyes closed.

"No," he fought me. Damn was her persistent, I blame my mother.

"Soda," I sighed, "You're not the father." The tear I had been fighting rolled down my cheek burning all the way down my cheek.

"No! That's a lie!" He yelled.

"I saw her outside a health clinic, I gave her a ride and she told me. I told her that if she didn't tell you I would," I was over whelmed by a nausea feeling

"I have to talk to her." Soda's face was white as a sheet. I turned and hurled in the bathroom. I didn't think anyone even noticed because Darry and Steve were both talking over each other giving Soda advice. I walked to my room and struggled to put on more clothes as Johnny came in. He didn't say anything at first he just looked at me.

I looked at him as he sat there. I felt bad because I knew he didn't like it when we fought."I'm sorry it seems like we are always fighting." I sat down on the corner of the bed as I caught my breath. It felt like I had run a marathon. I was kind of impressed with the fact that I was able to form sentences. I always got frustrated when I would cry, and I couldn't speak.

"Where's Pony?" I thought suddenly. I hoped like hell he hadn't heard any of that.

"He went to see a movie." Johnny told me.

"Oh good, I wish you woulda gone too," I stood up and put all of my books in my backpack. I grabbed a couple things off my desk, and then turned and looked at Johnny. Trying to be as tough as I could I stared at him. "You keep an eye on everyone, hold down the forts. I'll see you at school tomorrow," I ruffled his hair and opened my bedroom window. I knew there was only a slim chance that he'd go to school, but I figured I might as well try.

"Wait, Mary!" Johnny spoke louder than I had heard in a while. I shifted my body to half look at him as I started to climb out. "Don't leave," he looked sympathetic. I felt bad for him because I didn't want to leave Johnny upset, he had had a rough few weeks.

"I can't stay here pal, you understand don't you?" I looked at him until he answered.

"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders and spoke softly.

"Look, Pony's gonna need you when he comes home. You know how much he looks up to Soda, just be there for him you know? I'll be back." I climbed down the window.

"Promise?" He came over to the window.

"I'll be back sooner or later. Don't worry, you're face will stick like that." I tried to lighten the mood.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"I'm sorry little buddy, I don't know what to tell you," Darry had his hand on Soda's shoulder. He looked like he was going to throw up and pass out at the same time.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to talk to her, do you want to go over there?" Steve didn't like seeing him like that anymore than I did.

"Or we can go get wasted, that always makes me feel better," Two-bit also looked concerned. I knew he was trying to crack jokes to lighten the mood like he always did.

"I need out of here!" Soda pushed everyone's hands off of him.

"Soda!" Darry grabbed him before he got too far. "I can't let you leave right now. You'll do something you'll regret. Trust me." I knew Darry was doing what he thought was best, and maybe it was. Soda would probably do something stupid considering his state of mind, but Darry grabbing him like that wasn't going to go over well.

"Get off!" He struggled.

"Soda," Steve started to try to calm his friend down.

"Darry, stop!" In the moment of distress Soda lashed out at Darry giving him a shiner across the jaw. It didn't look like it hurt too bad, but it took everyone by surprise. Darry's next move was better, he draped his arm over Soda and Soda leaned into him as he fell apart.

"I love her," he cried. Everyone just watched, no one knew what to say. I was looking out the window because I didn't know where else to look when I saw Pony walking up.

"Uh, guys, here comes Pony." Steve grabbed Soda's arm and lead him to their room. Darry moved over to the kitchen before Soda pulled open the door. I kept seeing more and more every time I was around them how much they looked out for Pony. It was a real shame Pony didn't see it too.

"Hey Kiddo," Darry forced a smile.

"Hey, man," I chimed in. "I was waiting on you."

"Me?" Pony asked he still had that innocent sparkle in his eyes. I hoped he'd keep it.

"Yeah, I need someone to help me get my lazy butt to the track. Care to be my inspiration?" I glanced at Darry and saw him shake his head my direction.

"Yeah, let me change real fast." Pony's eyes light up. I knew Darry saw it to.

"Let me grab it for you," Darry cut in. Pony didn't seem to realize what was going on, and Darry seemed to be thankful for that.

"Where are we headed?" Pony asked as Darry walked into Soda and Pony's room.

"I was thinking your track again?" I didn't really know of any place else to go. He seemed okay with that and walked to the bathroom with the clothes Darry gave him.

"Thanks man," Darry nodded his head at me.

"I don't mind. He's good company." Darry looked like he needed to sleep for a few weeks. I felt badly for him, but I didn't know what to do or to say. "I don't know if you want to hear this from me, it's not really my place-" I started talking and Darry looked up interested in what I was about to say.

"There's no use in stopping him. What ever he wants to do you have to let him, if not this anger and pain he's feeling will just get worse. He really loves her, and he's the only one that is gonna know what to do next." I was trying to explain to him what I was thinking with out making him angry. I knew that the last thing Darry wanted right now was to listen to someone tell him what to do.

"He's too young to be in love, look where it ends up putting you!" Darry pulled a beer out of the fridge after looking at it for a long time.

"You ever have a girl break your heart?" I asked him making small talk.

"Not to this magnitude," he tilted up his glass and took a long swig. His face showed that he hadn't drunk one in a while.

"Did a girl run you here?" Darry guessed.

"Quite the opposite." I laughed thinking about how wrong he was.

"You running away from one?" He asked again looking at me with judging eyes.

"Not a girl."

"Then what?" Darry wasn't going to stop until he got answers.

"I'm in the army." I looked him in the eye.

"Oh come on, tell me something I didn't know." Darry finished off his drink.

"I'm on leave indefinitely, and a buddy of mine told me to come here. Told me it would help me clear my head. Apparently he didn't know this family!" I added the last part trying to be funny, he didn't laugh.

"Mary can't solve your problems." Darry spoke bluntly. I respected that. He was watching out for her. "I don't know if you've noticed but we've got a lot going on here. I don't know if she needs someone playing with her head."

I couldn't help but laugh at Darry just then. I wrinkled my eye brows as I wondered what I could say to satisfy what he wanted to hear. He didn't have a clue. "Solve my problems, man you couldn't be any farther off. I like being around her. She gives me hope. But it is a two way street. She doesn't mind being around me either." I looked at him hard and he softened his eyes. I completely understood that Darry was stressed far more than anyone his age should ever be, and his family had been through hell, I wasn't denying any of that. But, what I couldn't seem to make any of them understand was how lucky they were to still have each other. Each one of them seemed to jeopardize that everyday with out even meaning to.

Finally I spoke again, "You might have gotten your wish though. Mary's not talking to me. In her mind I lost her trust. So, I'm going to leave you with this and you'll never see me again." I took a gamble and put my finger on his chest.

"You're the quarter back of this family. So, you have to keep you cool no matter what. When you fight with Pony it upsets Soda who worries Mary. You have to find a way to talk to him or he's gonna rebel like you've never seen." Right at that moment Pony walked out of the bathroom, but I wasn't done yet. "Hey man, here's the keys. I'll meet you out there." I threw them to him. I could tell he knew something was up, but I figured I could work that out later.

"He's a good kid. You expect a lot out of him, and you should, but for now expect less." I took my hand away from him and turned to walk out the door with out saying an other word. As I walked to the car I kept thinking about what just went down. I didn't know if I did the right thing or not. I felt like Darry didn't really have anyone to talk to, and I didn't exepect him to come to me, but at the same time I thought he should know he could.I got in my car all the same putting the key in the ignition letting out a long sigh.

"You okay?" Pony asked me.

"I could always be worse." I started backing out of the driveway.

"What were you talking to Darry about?"

"Well here's the thing man," I started to tell him everything. He was old enough. Everyone expected him to be a man, but no one seemed to treat him like one.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I drove around Tulsa for several hours until the tank went to half full. I didn't want to have to fill it up so I parked on the side of the road. It was starting to get dark and I still did not know where to go. I noticed that the gym Travis took me to that one time was right down the street. I followed the road and pulled into the parking lot. I expected the gym to be closed, but it wasn't. There was a large window in front of the gym and there were people practicing right in front of me. I was surprised that they were still at it in there. I watched as they moved in ways that didn't seem possible. I always dreamed of being like one of them when I was younger, but things changed and I honestly never once regretted it.

I slouched down in my seat as I watched them finish up. When I saw them putting on their clothes I slouched down even more hoping none of them would see me. I didn't know why I chose to sit outside here, but I didn't want to leave yet. I got my wish, and everyone left. I closed my eyes and leaned my head up against the steering wheel. I did something I hadn't done in a while, but I didn't know what else to do. I prayed.

Next thing I knew someone knocked on my window scaring the living Jesus out of me. I smacked my head on the window giving myself an instant headache. "Get out, come on inside." The man instructed. My heart started to pound worse then my head as I wondered what was about to happen. Was I trespassing? Did he call the police? For some reason I did as he said, and I followed him inside.

He looked at me from head to toe making me uncomfortable, but then he spoke. "You better get changed if you want to get to school on time. There's a shower in there." He pointed.

"Uh," I stuttered not knowing what to say. He looked at me waiting for me to figure out what I wanted to say. "You're not going to call the police are you?"

"No, I'm not," he didn't express emotion. I was thankful he was going to let me shower. It would be hard to go about my day like I was fine if I looked like I wasn't.

As I was in the shower my head kept going to how odd it was that he just let me use their shower with out asking any questions. The more I thought about it the more peculiar it seemed. It didn't really phase me too much, because I couldn't really think of what might happen. I got out toweling off with the towel that was neatly folded on a stool in the bathroom. I ran my fingers through my hair the best I could trying to make it look like I made it messy on purpose. I also put on a new outfit that I had in the truck. My stuff often accumulated in the truck from work, school, or other activities. I felt a little better too after I got cleaned up. I put on a little make up and the walked out the bathroom. I tried to be extra quiet hoping I could leave with out him knowing, but I failed.

"You ought to lock your door next time, someone could come up and grab you before you even notice. This is Tulsa, you know." He said from his desk with out looking up.

"I will do that, thank you." I walked out as fast as I could. I pretty much ran. I didn't have much time before classes started anyway. I was so weirded out by what just happened. I guess in an unusual way my prayer was answered.

It was about a 15 minute drive to school and all I thought about the whole drive was how badly I needed coffee. I made it to school somehow, my body had a magical auto pilot that saved me in more ways than I can count. I put the truck in park and got out walking towards the building. I got to my locker racking my brain to remember if I read the reading for biology. Pony spotted me before I could have gotten away.

"Mary," he called making me look up.

"Hey, Pony." I gave him a smile trying to play it off like I had it all together.

"Where were you this morning?"

"You know, I can't even really tell you to be honest. Have you talked to Soda?"

"A little last night. Travis told me what happened." Pony surprised me.

"Travis?" I was shocked.

"Yeah he told me everything, Mar you need to give him an other chance-" I cut him off.

"You know pal, its not a good time. Is Sandy here?" I was not about to think about Travis. Why did Travis tell Pony? What did Travis tell Pony?

"Yeah, she's trying to find Soda. Soda dropped us off today."

"Alright, that's probably good. Did Darry notice I was gone?" I didn't know if Johnny would have told Darry or not.

"He didn't say anything to me. He was up all night with Soda. He wouldn't let me stay up to help." I knew that probably made Pony upset, and on other circumstances I would have justified it to make him feel better, but right now I didn't want to.

"Mary," Angela came up behind me and Pony.

"Hey Ang," I noticed she looked flustered, I knew that couldn't be good.

"I need to talk to you, now." She looked at Pony.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" I half hugged Pony. It was more for my comfort than his. Pony seemed like he had it all under control for the first time in a while.

"Angela, you gotta be nicer to him," I sighed I knew she was not going to listen to what I was saying, but I felt like I should at least say it.

"Mary, I'm late." Angela said making my head start throbbing.

"Shit," I said with out thinking. That was not the response she needed just then.

"Will you come with me to the gas station to take a test?" Her bottom lip started to quiver. I put my hand over my mouth. She could not be pregnant. It had to just be stress or something. Wasn't it even too close to tell?

"I'll drive." I put my hand on her back. I knew skipping my classes was a bad idea, but Angela needed me to be there. She was like me. She had no one. Neither of us spoke until we got to the DX. I prayed Soda wasn't going to show up, I knew he was working today, but I figured that he would come in late.

We got out of the car and I was stressing, so I could not imagine how badly she must be feeling. I opened the door to the DX and she followed me in.

"Curtis, your brother just called me and said he was gonna be late! Is he okay, he didn't sound it?" I recognized him, and I could have probably remembered his name if I was thinking straight, but I wasn't and I was drawing a blank.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He had to make a stop before he got here's all." I hoped I was right. At this point I didn't even know if I believed what I was saying.

"All right, in that case can I help you with something?" He was being awful polite, and I felt bad for being short with him.

"Uh no, we got it, but can you keep it between us. Don't tell Soda?" I asked him taking the test from Angela. He looked at me confused at first, but after a second I think he got it.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't breath a word." He rung it up. I paid him as Angela went to the bathroom. I paced around hard as she was in there. I didn't even know what to do if it was positive. I closed my eyes and said a brief prayer again.

"How's uh, how's everything been." He tried to take my mind off Angela.

"Oh, it's been fine. You know, just a little busy. It keeps me young though." I remember my dad saying that multiple times I figured I might as well say it now.

"I came to your parents service, it was real nice." He told me as Angela walked out. She was shaking that stick up and down like she was angry.

"I can't look," she handed it to me. She was sweating profusely. I stared at that stick until I saw the little plus sign show up. I looked at it twice incase I saw it wrong, but it didn't change.

"You know sometimes the first time is wrong. It could say positive, but it could actually mean negative. You should try again." I decided to be positive.

"No!" She grabbed it from my hand as I went to get her an other test.

"Mary, what am I going to do!" She started to panic.

"You're going to go back in there and take the test again!" I handed it to her.

"I don't even have to pee!" She cried.

"Here, the water's on me." He handed her a huge bottle.

"I'd rather have a beer." She whined.

"Girl, I don't know if you can have one of those for a while. Drink it, fast." I instructed. She started pacing around the store the way I was earlier. I closed my eyes for a split second and heard the bell ring on the door.

"Mary," the cashier said softly. I looked up and saw Soda. Neither of us said anything at first.

"Did you talk to her?" I finally spoke. I had learned that I always had to take the first step.

"I told her I loved her." He looked down at the ground. "I told her I wanted to marry her anyway. I told her I would be a father to her baby." He stopped as he started to tear up. My heart was breaking for him. "She's moving to Florida to stay with her grandmother." He gripped the side of the counter.

"Soda," I put my hands on top of his. I thought about apologizing to him right then, because I was sorry about how it came out. But I wasn't okay with him treating me like crap. He had been so quick to blame me on everything lately.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Angela." I pointed.

"I drank the whole damn bottle, so if that didn't do it I don't know what could!" She came around and saw Soda.

"Oh hell no." She covered her face with her eyes.

"Go to the bathroom, I'll hold my breath." I told her. I didn't honestly believe holding my breath would do any good, but I felt like it couldn't do any harm.

"Is she?" Soda started.

"We don't know yet."

"Oh man."  
>"That's what I said too."<p>

"Damn it, Mary, I can't go!" She said loud enough for me to hear.

"Try to relax, you must be stressed." I didn't mean for it to sound conceded, but the way Angela heard it it was.

"I know you did not just tell me I was stressed! No shit Mar, no shit!" I almost laughed at her then because I was so exhausted.

"What's going on?" Soda finally asked. I assumed he would have been able to figure it out by now, but I assumed wrong. I didn't know how he would handle a pregnancy scare for Angela. Not only was he not a huge fan of Angela, but I'm sure anyone being pregnant would not make Soda feel so great.

"Angela's taking a test." I really hoped he would figure the rest out himself.

"How the hell?" Soda started. He looked mad. That was not a good look for Soda. I did feel bad for him, but I really just wished he wasn't there right now.

"This has to be a joke?" He said again.

"It's not, and she doesn't want people to know. You don't know the whole story." I tried to explain with out having to go into much detail. Angela walked out of the bathroom stall with her face as red as a tomato. I had an over whelming feeling in my stomach making me feel like I was gonna pass out. I took the test out of her hand look at it, and the tried my hardest to think of something to say.

"You can't tell anyone." She pointed at Soda.

"What is it with girls thinking they can keep it a secret! Be a human being and tell the father!" Soda steamed. I knew what he was talking about, but I knew Angela did not.

"You can't judge me!" I felt like Angela's anger was masking how upset she was. Right now she was so confused on how she felt, anger was what she knew the best.

"I _can_ judge you, you can't tell me you don't know what happens when you have sex!" Soda shouted at this point.

"I was raped you ass hole!" Angela met his yell then stormed at of the DX before I could even attempt to stop her. The next thing surprised me even more: Soda went after her.

I put my hands on my knees and took a deep breath, but it didn't stop me from throwing up in the trash can across the room. I didn't even know when the last time I ate, so I did not understand how I could throw up.

"You okay?" The cashier asked me after I stood there not knowing what to do.

"Yeah, thanks." I responded on instinct. I walked out of the DX to my car on auto pilot. I knew I had to get back to school for my classes. I had already missed all of my first one, and most of my second, but I couldn't really miss anymore. There wasn't anything I could do for Angela, and right now I didn't want to have too much to do with Soda. When he wanted to talk I knew he would find me, but it wasn't going to be the other way around.

I parked the truck and started walking towards my second class. I was glad Two-bit and Steve were in that class, because they would always piss the teacher off enough that she wouldn't care I was late.

I walked in and everyone turned and watched. I hated it when people did that to me, but honestly I did it to them too so I could only be so upset.

The teacher didn't even care she just kept on talking as I sat beside Two-bit.

"Late start?" Two-bit nudged me.

"Something like that."

"Where were you this morning?" Steve leaned over.

"I left before you, did anyone say anything?" I turned and faced him.

"I'm not even sure they noticed," Steve shrugged. Normally he would make some cheap shot joke, and I would roll my eyes, but both of us were too damn tired.

"Did you stay over last night?" I whispered, I couldn't even guess what all happened after I left this morning.

"Yeah, stayed up most of the night with Soda. Darry did too." Steve looked tired; I could tell he had been up all night. I worried a little about Darry being up so late on top of a rough.

I put my head down on my desk for the remainder of the class, I didn't even try to listen. I had this dull achy pain in my head. It was almost behind my eyes in my eye sockets.

Next we had lunch, and I honestly didn't even want to move to go to lunch.

"Come on Mar," Two-bit nudged me when everyone was leaving. He gave me a look letting me know I needed to pull it together. I appreciated that. I guess if I had to choose one of the guys I was closest to it would be Two-bit. Probably because he didn't give a damn about anything at all. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't actually close with any of them. Before My parents died we had little to nothing to do with each other. The only reason we even come in to contact with each other now if because I am home more often, and so are they I guess. I followed them both to the cafeteria where we met up with Pony, Curley, Dally, and Sylvia.

"I heard about Sandy and Soda man, that blows." Dally sat down with all of us. Coming from Dally that actually meant a lot I nodded my head acknowledging what he had said.

"Yeah, man, he's taking it really hard." Steve added. I thought that was kind of obvious. Any idiot knew he was crazy about her.

"He ended up making it to work though, I saw him at the DX." I pointed out.

"Speaking of work, Mary, anything interesting happen at the diner lately?" Curly looked at me weird. I got kind of hot and flustered when he said that, I did not know why.

"What do you mean? I never knew what that kid was talking about. He had this way of just really pissing me off.

"I think you know what I mean," he winked at me. It was a creepy wink too.

"What the hell kid, clearly she does not know what you are talking about!" Sylvia added making me smile. She was quite a character.

"I just know how her boss feels about civil disobedience, and I know the fight that broke out caused a lot of people to avoid the diner." He just kept talking, and he would not stop.

"You wouldn't," I challenged him. I knew where he was going with this, but I didn't know how he knew. Now I started to get red faced. I could tell.

"Oh I would!" Curly smiled an evil smile.

"What are you talking about?" Steve growled at Curly. Everyone seemed to be on a short temper today.

"Mary here had a complaint called against her at work!" He kept going.

"So, people complain about _you_ all the time?" Two-bit started laughing at his own joke. I did too, sometimes he was pretty funny.

"You ass hole," I started to put the pieces together.

"See, it must be comments like that, that make you look bad. I know that's what did it for me." He had this smug look on his face. I wanted to smack it off so bad.

"You didn't, how could you!" I stared to get mad.

"I was looking out for the safety of others!"

"You bastard! It was _you_?" I stood up fuming.

He didn't even respond, no one did.

"I'm lost," I heard Sylvia whisper to Dally. All of the guys were watching me now trying to figure out what was going on.

"You don't even understand what you've done, when are you going to grow the hell up and realize that not everything is a joke! When you screw with me you are messing up my whole family!"

"Is everything okay over here?" A teacher I had never seen walked over.

"Yes ma'am, never better!" Two-bit put his hand on my back and tried to make me sit down. My head was racing, I did not even know what to do. Curly was behind me getting fired, how is that even possible. The more I thought about it, the more I understood it.

"That was my income you piece of garbage!" I said loud enough to make the whole cafeteria be completely silent.

"Why don't you just calm down and come with me young lady." The teacher put her hand on my arm. There was no way in hell I was going anywhere with this teacher.

"You go to hell Curly," I pointed at him as I jerked my arm away from the teacher and pretty much ran out of the school. I could feel that I was going to cry. I hated it when I got this. This only happened when I was beyond exhausted and stressed. I wouldn't know what to do, so I would just want to cry.

I opened the door to leave and was almost to the truck when I heard my name.

"Hey Curtis!" I knew who it was before I even turned around. I told myself to get it together before I turned around, but I honestly had less than half a second and there was no way to pull it together then. He noticed too.

"Get in," he opened the door from the inside. I got in and held my breath to prevent myself from crying.

We drove back to his house in complete silence. It wasn't but a two minute drive, so it wasn't really uncomfortable, but when he put it in park and looked at me I was still on the edge of crying.

"What coulda happened so bad so early in the day?" He looked at me.

"You don't wanna know." I choked out with a chuckle. He looked at me, then he looked back to the road. I could tell he was thinking about something, but I could not put my finger on what it was. I forced deep breathes to calm down. I was not about to cry infront of Tim Shepard.

I hadn't had a gentleman in my life for quite a while now.

"Well, I don't even know where to start," I got out of the car.

"Start at the beginning," he led me into the house. I followed leaning up against the wall as he went in the kitchen.

"Is it too early for beer?" I knew for me it wasn't, but some people didn't appreciate that. I didn't think that Tim would care, but I thought I better ask just to be on the safe side.

"I guess not." He laughed easy bringing one to me. He sat on his couch, but I started walking back to his room, he too followed me.

"You gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" He pulled a sheet up on the bed and then lay down.

"Nope," I laid down beside him. He didn't say anything at first he just looked at me. I took that time to kiss him.

"You know, most girls won't shut up," he pulled away from me.

"Good thing I'm not like most girls," I rolled on top of him.

"Can't argue with that." He laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Okay everyone, let me know what you like, don't like, what you want to happen, or what you don't want to happen. I am open for all feedback! Let me know if you're reading, I feel like I've lost people!


	28. Chapter 28

I knew something was wrong. Appearance wise she looked fine, better than fine she looked hot! But, when I looked closer I could tell she was pale and even a little shaky. The way she kissed me wasn't as passionate as last time either. It was like she was thinking about someone else. That made me paranoid. She pulled off her shirt, and I certainly was not going to object, but after a little while I rolled on top to change positions and I swear I saw a tear roll how her cheek, but as quickly as I saw it, it was gone. I was taken by surprise, and I didn't know what to do. Girls didn't cry when I slept with them. That just made me look bad.

"Mary," I finally said rolling over off of her.

"What's wrong?" She asked me, but her back was to me at this point.

"You tell me?" I twirled her hair around my finger. I pulled her into my arm and she laid her head on my chest. At first she pulled away, but after a second she laid into me.

"You can tell me," I encouraged.

"No, I can't." She fought me, "Please Tim," I felt a tear roll onto my chest. I didn't understand what was going on. I wasn't into talking about feelings and shit, but I wasn't about to have sleeping with a fragile person on my conscious.

I dated a lot of girls, I had slept with even more, I had even flirted with love once or twice, but never have I ever been as fascinated in a girl as I was with Mary. It could be her courage she had dealing with her parents' death, or maybe the intelligence she had, or it might have even been simply how low maintenance she was.

"Sandy's pregnant with someone else's baby," Mary told me as I rubbed her back. I paused rubbing it, and processed what she said.

"Shit," I mumbled.

"He got all mad at me last night and accused me of a whole lot of shit, so I slept in my car in a parking lot, because I couldn't even be around any of them," she put her hand inside of mine. "They just don't get it. All of them." She sighed.

"You could have come here," I said with out really thinking. She ignored me, which was probably wise.

"Then, I got to school and had to go to the DX, and that was a fucking disaster, and Soda was there when it happened. Here's the best part, think you can handle it?" Once she started talking she was going a mile a minute. I wasn't even sure I was ready for the next thing.

"Your brother told me that he is the reason I got fired. He called and made some kind of complaint against me, and he told me at lunch in front of everyone, including Pony who didn't know I was fired. Real piece of work, that brother of yours." I expected her to cry at this point. She may have had the worst day in the history of worst days, but she didn't. She looked like she was going to throw up. I swear her face was green. She stood up and put my shirt on being bashful all of a sudden. She started pacing around my room.

"I could kill him," I was getting angry. Why did he choose to do such dumb shit?

"I called him a bastard, among other things, at school and got just about everyone's attention. Including a teacher who I pretty much ran away from. So probably just about now the principal is telling Darry how much of a disturbance I am, maybe they will just expel me that would make my life so much easier." She didn't sound like she was kidding. She seemed like she didn't care whether she graduated or not.

"That son of a bitch," I said louder this time. She didn't say anything either.

"Is Darry," I started and then I stopped. I thought about what I was going to say. I didn't know much about Darry and Mary's relationship. "What's Darry going to do?" I had heard Curly tell me that he would light into Pony pretty hard about school I did not know if that was the same for her too.

"I have no idea," she said with out even a pause like she had been thinking about it also.

"I'll talk to him, I'll make him fix it," I tried to get her to lie back down but she was too quick.

"No, that wouldn't do any good. My boss would probably be even madder if he found out what really happened. Just forget it, I don't know why I told you," She sighed putting back on her clothes. I was kind of offended she said that. Why wouldn't she tell me?

"You know we have to keep this a secret right?" She started looked at me in the eyes briefly for a while. Her eyes were red.

"Why exactly is that?" I too sat up. I wasn't going to go around telling the world I slept with Mary Curtis, but I wasn't going to act like it didn't happen.

"Angela is my friend, friends don't sleep with friends' brothers," she looked at me like it was stupid that I did not know that.

"Darry is my friend," I started to argue then I thought about it and understood her point. I didn't want to tell Darry we were sleeping together.

"I should go," she didn't leave room for me to plead her to stay. At this point I was going to give her what ever she wanted.

"Where you gonna go, huh? Mary you can't just sleep in your car. You have to do something." She gave a look that she didn't care what I said so I gave in."I'll drive you back to your car," I started to get up.

"I really need to walk, will you go make sure that your siblings aren't out there will ya?" At first I thought she was kidding, but after a quick second I realized that she was not and I pulled the sheet off the bed and went to go see.

I didn't see anyone, and when I went back to tell Mary and she was gone.

xxxxxxxx

"I don't understand what just happened?" Pony asked as a teacher dragged Curly out of the cafeteria.

"I think Curly might be the reason Mary wasn't at work on Sunday," I thought out loud.

"He really is an ass hole," Sylvia seemed to be awfully flustered. Sylvia and Mary were always friends, but it wasn't until recently that they because super close. Angela was the reason for that; Angela was always with Sylvia so Mary started too. I'm not sure that was such a good thing.

"What's Darry going to say?" Steve spoke up.

"Christ, he just started that new part time job too," Evie told them.

"How did you know that?" Pony asked.

"Angela told me."

"What happened to make Curly such a jerk?" Karen asked. I knew that he tried to sleep with her when she was drunk and she turned him down, and ever since then he has been a devil too her, but I knew for sure that Pony didn't know she drank. I didn't even know if Steve knew. I kind of doubted that he knew, if he knew Soda would know.

"When are they gonna catch a break, huh?" Dally ate some potato chips off of Pony's tray.

"She's going to be lucky is she isn't suspended," Karen brought up what I hadn't even thought about. "That was pretty much a fight, and she is already on thin ice for skipping."

"Darry's going to flip," Pony also looked concerned.

"That's only if he finds out, kid," Steve nudged Pony.

"They'll call him, I bet they are now. They practically have our number memorized." Pony laughed a little.

"Soda and I have a thing or two to do with that," Steve started laughing. Everyone smiled and nodded their heads. Those two knew how to raise some cane.

"Where do you think she is now?" I asked. There was no telling.

"With Travis I am sure." Sylvia added. "What?" she asked when we all looked at her. "They are really close she is always with him! And you call yourself her friends!"

"Travis told me they had a fight. He didn't tell her he's in the army, and she found out by seeing his uniform." Pony filled us in. I started to really wonder how Mary was going to play everything out. I didn't think she was going to tie loose ends.

"He's in the army?" Dally repeated. "Well damn it all makes sense now."

"Where is she staying?" Evie asked starting to get the apprehension I had been feeling.

"Staying? What do you mean staying?" Pony didn't seem to follow.

"Angela told me Soda scared her off lastnight, and asked me to find out where she crashed." Sylvia said.

"Oh please, its Mary, she's fine," Dally was the first and the only to speak.

"It's different now, man." I tried to defend her because it seemed like the rest of them didn't even comprehend what was going on.

"What are we gonna do about Soda?" Steve gazed over to us.

"Hell if I know. I thought I'd take him out to get shit faced as soon as possible. Always works for me." I only knew love through Karen, and I couldn't imagine what I would do if she got knocked up with someone else.

"Whose the father anyway?" Sylvia asked we all had been thinking.

"Where do you think she is? You still go to school when your pregnant don't you?" Pony also brought up a valid point.

"I don't think her parents knew. Maybe she told them and she freaked out or something." Evie offered a valid point. I had forgotten briefly that Evie was Sandy's best friend.

"Did you know?" I asked her. I was out of line a little I guess, but I figured there was no harm in asking. Plus I never paid attention to lines anyway.

"I didn't have a clue. I didn't know she cheated on him either. I swear." She said it offally confidant. Like she had practiced or like she had said it before. It sounded fishy to me.

"Hey, when's Johnny planning on coming out of confinement?" Dally remind us all of a part of a past that also haunted us.

"Do you think you could help him Dal?" Pony seemed hopeful.

"Help him? Christ, want me to pick him up and drag him out?" Darry's attitude wasn't helping the situation much, but it had been a while since it happened. Most of his cuts and bruises were gone.

"I uhm, I'm moving out of my parents, for a while at least." Steve surprised all of us but Evie it looked like.

It was quiet for a minute as everyone put some pieces together. "So it was him?" Dally raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was," Evie spoke for him when he looked down.

"Good for you." Dally seemed to approve.

"Man look at us, we are a mess." I threw my napkin down laughing a little. It is pretty crazy how about three months ago none of this shit was happening.

We all got up and went to our last class, but I paid even less attention than usual. I didn't know if the Curtis' could handle a double hit like this. Loosing Sandy and Mary's job that was going to play all of them against each other.

Xxxxxxxxx

I got back to school and there were few cars there. No one seemed to stick around much after hours. I know I sure didn't. I don't know why I didn't drop out of school when Soda did. I had a steady job, if I would have just gone full time maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. What would a high school degree do for me? It wouldn't get me into college. I knew that I wasn't going to college even when my parents were alive. Even when we didn't live pay check to pay check I knew I wasn't going to college, but still, I wanted my degree. When my parents died I felt like I was just so close to graduating it would be a shame to quit. I didn't realize it would be such a pain in the ass. I should have just packed up and moved. I should have just found a job in an other state and started a new life.

I walked past my car in the direction of the football field. Darry had his first practice today, and I was going to talk to him after practice. I was going to tell him that I needed some space and I was staying with Linda. I figured he would respect that. I remember once or twice him and my dad would have a conflict and he would flea to his football buddies houses. I even recall him staying with Tim, that seemed ironic now.

I had thought about coming clean and telling him everything, but even though Darry and I should be on the same page with a lot of things we really weren't that close. He actually wouldn't be able to handle anything I told him.

I got there before practice was over so I sat in the bleachers I watched him. He looked so happy, he was doing what he loved and I really respected that. I was proud of him. I knew he deserved this. I realized how hard everything had been and I understood how much pressure he felt everyday.

He was showing the guys a specific play, and he had this smile on his face that I could see all the way up from where I was sitting.

The more I watched him the more I realized why I didn't move when my parents died. Someone deserved to be happy.

Xxxxxxxx

"Alright guys, I looked forward to our next practice. Thanks." I patted a couple of them on the back as they walked into the locker room.

"Man that was the rush it's the same I use to feel when I played!" I shook the coach's hand, " I really appreciate this."

"You deserve it. What you did today, it was more than I have gotten them to do since I have been here." The coach made me feel accomplished. I hadn't felt like that in a while.

"I think you may even have a fan," he pointed to the bleachers.

"Ha, that's my sister. You want to meet her, sir?" I offered. I was thrilled that she came to watch my first practice.

"An other time I'm sure," he walked to the locker room. I ran up the bleachers to see Mary.

"Mary, what did you think?" I couldn't wait to get some feed back. Mary didn't know much about football, but she usually came to a couple games a season when I played back in high school.

"You looked very professional, those guys loved having you out here. You belong on the field you know." She gave me a warm smile. That felt nice. I let out a long sigh that had been building up all day, I loved coaching, but it was stressful I had to admit.

"I missed you this morning, I was a little surprised you weren't there." I added to remind her that she matters. What Travis told me the other day had really played with my mind.

"Yeah, I just had a lot to get done. Everything went fine, right?" She didn't seem too concerned. It sounded like she asked because she had to, kind of like the greeting, 'hi, how are you.'

"Oh yeah, it was fine." I reassured her. I did wonderer where she could go to so early in the morning.

"You tired from coming straight from work to here?" Her question actually surprised me, I had not even thought about being tired.

"It's funny you say that, because I'm actually not. Beats me, how did I look?" Man, I enjoyed this job.

"You're a natural!" She also smiled at me. I guess it was contagious.

"I gotta go pick up Soda from the DX, you drive here?" I stood up. "Maybe you can make Soda's favorite tonight to get him feeling a little better." After I asked I saw a look on Mary's face that made me regret that I asked.

"Yeah, I was just going to tell you that I'm going to be late tonight, you shouldn't wait up for me, coach." I liked hearing her call me coach, but I wasn't sure I understood why she was going to be late. Usually I would just agree and not ask questions because I knew how much she always had going on, but I just had a feeling that I should keep asking.

"Oh yeah, you working?" I knew it was late for her to be working.

"No, I've just got some stuff, you know?" She seemed a little stressed, but I felt like all of us were.

"Does this have something to do with Travis?" I asked her. I wasn't necessarily trying to pry, but the way Travis was talking the other day had a feeling that they had a fight. I didn't know if they were dating or what, but he left out house as if her weren't coming back.

"Nah, everything's fine. Can you handle lunches, laundry, groceries and what not for a few days?" She was asking calmly like everything was normal, but for a few days? That didn't seem right.

"Mary, what's going on? Just talk to me, please," I put my hand on her leg. She pulled it away and looked at me.

"I'm fine Darry!" She smiled at me like nothing was wrong.

"Is it Soda?" I guessed again, I knew better. "He'll be okay over time." The blank stare she had on her face worried me. She looked emotionless.

"He didn't mean what he said, you know." I guessed again.

"I don't know that actually Dar!" She raised her voice a little then looked at me for a long second, with a sigh she continued, "Everything is _fine_; I've just got to get some studying done, and some stuff sorted out for a little while." She didn't really give me much of an option.

"Well, Mary can you work on it at home? I think we really need to be there for Soda. I could really use your help." I was really worried about Soda. I knew deep down she was too. "Sandy's the one who helped him through Mom and Dad's death he's in a lot of pain Mar. Then there's Pony, I can't stay on top of him and his grades with Soda moping around. Don't even get me started on Johnny." When I started listing, I too started to get stressed. There was so much more to do than I thought.

"I need a little space Darry, you understand don't you?" She looked at me. I didn't mean to dismiss her comment, but didn't she realize there wasn't time for space? She never needed space before. Hell, the day of the funeral she was already stepping up to the plate thanking neighbors and friends for food.

"No, I don't understand. Why do you need space all of a sudden? I need your help Mary." I looked at her waiting for her to speak. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to demand that she come home, I never had told Mary what to do before, but there's no way in hell I could get through the next through nights with out her. "I thought we were on the same page when I took this job?"  
>"You're right. I'll meet you at home." She said matter of factly. I kind of felt like she said it just to get rid of me, but right now I would take that.<p>

"Thanks Myra, I'm going by the DX then I'll meet you at home. Do you have to go by the store?"

"No, uh, I can make something out of what we have. I don't know if Soda's at the DX."

"What do you mean? I dropped him off this morning." I stood up and looked back to her.

"I went with Angela and he was gone when I left. He might be back now though. I don't know.

"He left? When was this?" I was trying to figure out what she was talking about.

"I don't know this morning sometime, Angela needed something."

"You didn't go after him? Where do you think he is?" I wasn't trying to accuse her, but I didn't understand why she would let an emotional teenager out of her sight. We didn't seem to be on the same page at all right now.

"I had class Dar, I couldn't chase after him. He's a big boy you know!" She started to get defensive.

"Oh come on, that's not what I meant. I'll meet you at home okay?" I patted her back and started down the bleachers. I had a voice in my head telling me there was something she wanted to tell me, but I decided not to look back as I walked down the bleachers in the direction of the truck.

I threw my clipboard and whistle in the passenger side on the truck and put her in reverse. I use to treat this car like it was royal. I would spend every weekend working on it, even if there were nothing wrong with it. I remember my dad, Soda, and I working on it. Pony just started to be slightly interested in them, right before the accident. I needed to make a point to do more stuff like that with him, I knew I needed too, but lately it just seemed to be so awkward. It was easier not to I guess. I'm sure that was the problem. It seems like the easier route is always the wrong one.

XXXXXXX  
>An: Give me some feedback Please!


	29. Chapter 29

I opened the cabinet and pulled out some dishes laying them on the table. Usually Mary would set the table as she cooked, and I would just be in the way, but I figured if I got it done before she came home, she would appreciate it.

"Need help?" Johnny asked from the couch.

"You wanna set the table while I wash these?" I raised my eyebrow. Johnny didn't speak, but he started laying out the plates and silverware the same way they are every night.

"Where's Mary?" He finally asked me.

"Beats me," I shrugged. I thought for a second before I started talking. "Mary, got really mad at Curly today over her job or something. Apparently he got her fired." I tried to make sense of it.

"Why would he do that?" Johnny looked at me from the table.

"I don't know, but they caused quite a raucous. A teacher dragged Curly out, Mary ran off. No one's seen her since."

"Man, that's messed up. He's sure been out to get her a lot lately it seems." Johnny said what I was thinking earlier. "It's weird because Mary and Tim are such good friends."

Our family and the Shepard's family use to be close. Mary and Angela were friends, Darry and Tim, and me and Curley; but then times changed. First it happened with their family then ours.

"Hey Johnny, when are you gonna come back to school?" I asked what everyone had been thinking about for a while.

"I don't know man," he answered me with a shake of his head. He almost looked ashamed.

"It's really calmed down. We haven't had a problem with any of the soc's since. I hate seeing you cooped up in here." I was being honest. There hadn't been any problems recently, not with the soc's anyway.

"Yeah, I know." He muttered, so I let it go right as Darry walked in.

"Hey guys," he greeted walking in the door. He looked like he had a good day.

"You like the new job?" I smiled a little thinking about how much he loved football. I watched him pull of his shoes, drop his keys in the dish on the table, and let out a painful moan as he collapsed on the couch like he usually did.

"Mary's on her way," He told us as he pulled off his shirt. I wasn't going to tell him, but he smelled kind of bad.

He was right, Mary walked in right after him. She let the door slam behind her making Darry look over, but he didn't say anything, and neither did she.

"Hey Pony, Johnny." She walked over to both of us. "Thanks for doing this," she smiled and gave me hug from behind. She put her hand on top of Johnny's as he was drying dished, "You doing okay?" She asked casually. He paused washing dishes and leaned into her gently, almost as if he was relaxing. She had a way of doing that. She could ask how someone was with out making it awkward. I noticed Darry watching her from the couch, I wondered if Darry knew about what happened at school.

"Is Soda and Steve here?" She asked both of us, but it also caught Darry's attention. The way his eye's lit up it seemed as if he had forgotten.

"Yeah, they're in our room." I answered. She nodded her head washing her hands in the sink before opening the fridge. Then she went to work, like she always did. Darry disappeared into the bathroom, but not before asking me if I had done my homework. Mary gave me a slight nudge reminding me to answer nicely, I assumed.

"I've done everything I can, there is some I still can't figure out." I admitted.

"Well go get it, I'll look at it after I shower," Darry told me as he walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes at Mary and she gave me a half sympathetic smile.

"Buddy the work only gets worse from here!" Darry nagged his voice drifted off as he walked away.

"Hey Mary, are you okay?" I asked her before I turned the corner to go to my room.

"Yeah, Pone, don't worry," she gave me this reassuring look that made me believe her. She always looked fine.

I opened the door to my room to see Steve sitting on the floor and Soda laying on the bed. They weren't doing much, just talking a little. Soda looked better, well not better, but considering everything he didn't look too bad.

"Hey, Pony!" Soda sat up and motioned for me to sit beside him. I laid down and he draped his arm over my shoulder.

"How are you doing pal? We haven't talked in a while, what's new?" The way Soda asked me made me feel weird. I looked to Steve who gave me a weird look in return.

"Pretty good Soda." I answered tentatively because we talked almost every night before we went to bed. Not as much recently because he would be up later than me. Darry had really been on my lately to get more sleep. I didn't know why, I would usually wake up screaming, and not remembering why I was screaming!

"How's school, are you doing good in school?" He asked my least favorite question.

"It's okay Soda." I still had no idea what was going on.

"Pony, study hard- you know why?" He patted my chest. "So you can get the hell out of Tulsa- there is bigger and better out of here." When he said that it kind of scared me.

"Soda, I want to be with you, I'm not leaving you." I couldn't imagine being separated from Soda.

"Thanks little buddy." He grabbed me into a big hug right as Two-bit and Dally walk in.

"Excuse us, we should have knocked." Two-bit joked grabbing the both of us.

"I would ask what's going on, but I'm not sure I want to know." Darry batted Soda's feet off the bed so he could sit at the bottom.

"Ya'll staying for supper?" Mary stuck her head in.

"The last time I ate something you prepared it just about killed me." Dally remembered the time in the diner right after he got out.

"Make that be a lesson to you all, don't mess with me," she half joked pointing at Dally.

"Nah, I already ate Mar bear!" Two-bit sang.

"It smells great Mar," I pulled back from Two-bit's grip. Steve mocked me from across the room, but I didn't care, or I didn't care as much as I use to at least.

"You've survived the first night man, your on your way," Dally looked at Soda before lighting a smoke. I knew the second Darry smelt that he would have a field day. Soda gave Dally a weak smile, about the time Mary called everyone to dinner.

"There's plenty," she backed up and let Soda, Steve, Darry, Johnny, and I sit at the table.

"You not eating Mar?" I asked.

Xxxxxxx

"I ate a little earlier, I've got some work to do," I patted Pony's head as my eyes met Soda's, but I quickly looked away.

I could see that Darry thought about saying something, but I interrupted him.

"Are your dirty clothes in your room?" I asked him as I rinsed a dish in the sink. He nodded his head at me.

"Where are your DX clothes?" I looked over to Soda, once again I was taking the high road. I considered not washing his clothes, but I realized that would be petty.

"I have no idea," he started to get up.

"No, I'll find them." I knew Pony's clothes were already in a pile he always left them in the same spot.

"I need a Mary in my life," Two-bit smirked from the couch.

"You do, lazy bum, you live with your mom," I smacked him on the back of the head as I walked by. The other guys laughed at him, and I did a little bit too.

I went about the house picking up dirty clothes and throwing them in the washer before I went to my room to look at some homework while there was peace. Darry and Pony studying together never went well, especially when there were distractions such as Dally and Two-bit.

I picked up my pen and started taking notes, I didn't know what I was writing, but I figured it was a start. I was undisturbed for about an hour when I heard a wrestling match break out. I could tell because first I heard friendly shouts and harmless threats followed by the coffee table being pushed across the floor. I couldn't help but go watch. That was a huge part of our family: spontaneous wrestling matches.

This one was between Steve and Two-bit, everyone else in the room was cheering for one person. Even Darry was picking a side. I started to wash the dishes in the sink as the fight started to settle, Steve was running his mouth about how Two-bit cheated. I expected him to storm out like usual, but I guess the Soda situation kept him from straying off.

"Oh don't be a baby Stevie! Anyone could beat you!" Two-bit ragged on him.

"That's not true!" He paused. I'm sure he was trying to think of someone he could beat. "I bet I could beat Travis!" When he said that I just about dropped the plate I was washing. Successfully I played it off like it slipped.

"I bet not!" Dally disagreed with a snort.

"What are you on! Yes, I could!" Steve defended himself. They were all joking and laughing, but sometimes it was hard to tell when they were no longer joking. When that happened they would start to beat on each other.

"He's in the army, he'd kill you dumb ass," Dally said through laughter.

"Army, Travis?" Darry started and then stopped. " I guess I can see it. He has a military hair cut, he called me sir, offered to help out when he was over here, it all screams army now that I think about it." Darry added in.

"He told me yesterday in the car on the way to the track," Pony included himself in the conversation.

"Car mechanic my ass! What is he doing in Tulsa?" Steve was having a hard time registering it all.

No one seemed to have an answer to that, and neither did I. I kept washing the dishes pretending that I wasn't listening to them.

"Blondie, did you know that?" Two-bit blew my cover.

"Yeah, I did." I answered plainly.

"Why is he here?" Steve asked.

"I don't know." I tried to keep my tone flat, and not to let them know they were bothering me. I wondered what all he told Pony the other night.

"How don't you know? Isn't he your new best friend?" Dally piped in.

"Don't you live with him?" I rolled my eyes. Steve and Two-bit got a kick out of that, but I didn't pay too much attention I was finishing off the dishes and moving to change the laundry.

"She's feisty!" Dally kept talking.

"Come on Dal, leave her be." Pony encouraged. I appreciated that he felt like he needed to protect me, but I was use to ass holes. I dealt with them at the diner, and I could deal with them at home if I needed to.

I folded some clothes and dropped them off in everyone's room, before returning to the kitchen to make lunches for tomorrow. We were running low on sandwich meat, and I wasn't going to get any more paychecks, so I was going to have to find another job fast, before people started to ask questions.

Everyone except Darry was crowded around the T.V. I didn't know where he was.

I put them in the fridge like I did most days in the same order. Darry's was first , followed by Soda's, and then Pony's on the bottom shelf. Every once in a while one of them would grab the wrong sandwich and I would hear about the next day, but not too often.

"So Mary, what was that all about today in the cafeteria? Curly got his sorry ass suspended." Dally asked walking by me to get a beer out of the fridge. I gave him a look, but I didn't respond.

"Here, you need this more than me." He held out the beer. "You know, Princess, tomorrow morning at school they will suspend you too. I'm surprised they haven't called here!" Dally wasn't exactly being quiet, but it wasn't like the guys in the other room could hear me.

"What, are you trying to do? Are you trying to look out for me now or something?" I didn't exactly know what he was getting at. Neither did I want to think about tomorrow, but I did take the beer.

"I guess someone has too look out for you, hell no one else is." Dally caught me off guard, and when I didn't respond right away he followed it up with, "Don't flatter yourself," and that same cold stare with icy eyes returned to Dally's face.

I thought about what he was saying as I walked back to my room. I sat down on my bed and I thought about what I was going to do next. I started to think about work. Was I going to tell Darry, or was I going to try to find a new job? I didn't really know where to look to get an other job.

I then moved on and thought about Angela. What was I going to do about her? Was I going to tell Tim? As Angela's best friend I shouldn't, but as Tim's- what was I to Tim?

I started to think about Travis. I knew he didn't tell me the truth about being in the army, but he didn't really lie. So why was I so mad at him?

Then I thought about Soda. I worried about him because I knew he was in a world of pain, and I didn't know what he was going to do about the whole Sandy being in Florida thing, and I was sorry for him about that. But, I also worried that Soda and I would never be the same again, at least not for a long time.

I felt my heart racing, and I started to get stressed, so I did the only think I knew how to do. I left. I closed the door to my room, opened the window, and I packed a bag. I packed my books and a change of clothes. I put the bottle in my mouth as I reached my foot out the window. There was a crack in the bricks I would step into giving me enough support to lower myself down, but this time it did not go as smoothly. My foot slipped out of the ditch and my left leg slid across the bricks as I fell onto the ground taking a huge chunk of skin off . On top of that I dropped my beer. Getting up, I brushed off the dirt, and threw my bottle onto the ground. With a smile I walked around to the back of the truck, threw my bag in and then backed out of the driveway. I didn't even notice the blood running down my leg.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I heard the truck crank outside about the same time I heard the phone ring, I pushed open the blinds to see it backing out, but before I could ask I saw Two-bit scrambling to get to the phone, but somehow Darry beat him to it. Dally and Two-bit exchanged a look before he took a long swig of his drink

Everyone was watching Darry, and I had no idea what was going on.

"Hello?" Clearly Darry did not know what was going on either.

"Yes, this is Darrell Junior."

"Shit," Two-bit mumbled under his breath.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Steve.

"Mary and Curly caused quite a scene today in the cafeteria. He got suspended, she just left in a huff." Steve answered.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" I asked Steve.

"She was upset, I guess I thought it'd be better to let it die down. She left awfully pissed." Steve threw his hands up.

"You woulda been proud, she has a tongue," Dally acted like that was a good thing. I would admit that I am glad she can defend herself, but I'm not quite sure how all of it would play out her getting in trouble at school. If it was Pony, he'd be in a whole different trouble than her, I'm sure. It's hard because Mary and Darry are so close in age, among other things. I also think that Darry remembers how he was a year or two ago, so he has a hard time with Mary.

"Oh yes Mr. Jones, how are you?" Darry turned at gave Pony look. I found a little bit of irony in the fact that this had absolutely nothing to do with Pony. Usually when Mr. Jones called it was me, when I was in school.

"Everything is going real good here sir, thanks for asking." Darry had on his best responsible voice, a completely different one than he used with us.

"With Mary? Everything is good, may I ask why?" Darry's soft look on his face turned harder by the second.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. She had an argument with Curly Sheppard? Yes, I knew that he had been giving her a hard time a week ago, but I didn't know it was a _disruption_." He paused and I assumed he was listening to the principal. Darry was curling the cord around his finger.

"Again? What do you mean look the other way, _again_? This has happened before?" Darry face was red, this was not going to go well.

"A guidance counselor?" Darry pulled the phone away from his ear. "You want to make it mandatory? Uh… I don't know about that."

"I think we better beat it," Two-bit grabbed his keys and Dally stood up as well.

"I don't think so!" Darry pulled the phone away from his ear. I knew that Two-bit and Dally could leave if they wanted to, but I think out of some kind of respect they didn't.

"Tomorrow, yes sir, tomorrow I'll make sure she's there. You too," he hung the phone up and turned around to all of us as fast as a heart beat.

"Was anyone going to tell me what happened today? Darry looked at each of us. I knew something was going on. I could feel it!

"I guess we were all hoping you wouldn't find out," Pony shrugged his shoulders.

"It wasn't as big of a deal as dip stick Jones is making it sound. Curly was nagging on her, and I guess she decided it was time she stood up for her self! You oughtta be proud of her Curly was being a prick." Two-bit tried to make Darry lighten up, it didn't work out.

"Why didn't any of you guys stand up to Curly? What did he do to cause this?" Darry was desperately trying to put the pieces together. I kind of felt the same way.

No one answered right away, and Darry slammed his hand down on the coffee table making both Johnny and Pony jump.

"I knew I'd have to watch out for Pony, and recently Soda, but I never thought I would have to watch Mary!" I knew Darry was speaking out of frustration and maybe in a little bit of fear and disappointment, but his remark kind of stung.

He pulled on his hair let out an exhale before walking back towards Mary's room.

"Look's like Princess might actually be in trouble," Darry smirked.

"Maybe, but she just backed out of the driveway," I pointed out the window and they all looked to the empty spot.

"I didn't even see her walk out," Steve sat back down.

"This is going to be interesting," Two-bit said out loud as we heard Darry knock on Mary's door.

"Do we have a plan for this?" Pony almost whispered.

"Just keep your trap shut, and head down. That's what I always do with my old man." Steve might have been trying to be helpful, but I knew that Pony did not think that that was a helpful comment.

"Maybe, you guys oughtta leave before he comes back. Johnny maybe you should go too?" I suggested as I heard Darry open Mary's door.

"You'll let us know if you need help tracking her down?" Two-bit asked draping his arm over Johnny. Johnny didn't even object he just followed them out. I was surprised.

"Why don't you go take a shower Pone?" I saw Darry out of the corner of my eye. I knew he wasn't going to do anything too stupid, but I didn't really know what I thought he was going to do. Pony reluctantly did what I asked. Steve was sitting on the couch watching Darry the same I was.

"Where is she?" Darry came back out.

"I saw her back out of the driveway, I didn't know or I would have talked to her." I said looking out the window as if I expected her to be back. Darry walked out on the porch, and I started to follow, but Steve stopped me.

"I don't think you can say anything he wants to hear right now, you know? I think he's just worried." I knew Steve was right, but I wish I could fix it. I knew Mary was mad at me right now for lashing out at her, and I knew she would tell me that she forgave me when I ask for it, but she would never really forgive me. She's like Darry in the way that betrayal is the worst possible thing. And to her I had betrayed her by accusing her, but in my defense love makes you blind.

Xxxxxxxxx

I sat on the front porch for close to an hour before I saw Two-bit approaching.

"Any sign of our little sneak?" Two-bit smiled, but I didn't.

"Dar, she's tough in all, but she too has a breaking point, and I believe Curly pushed her over hers today. Don't worry, she'll be back," Two-bit lit a smoke and sat in a chair behind me.

"I've been told it is different for girls. When they get pushed too far they can't just have a rumble, that they have other ways. But never thought Mary needed one she's always so collected. She was the strong one. I thought she was holding the pieces together, and then I find out she's skipping class, making D's, and causing a scene in the cafeteria! The principal recommends required counseling." I kept looking at the same spot on the ground.

"She's just trying to get her footing again Dar, you have to cut her a break. She's not invincible. Don't start doubting her just because the principal calls and starts telling you there's a problem. You're just gonna have to trust her to tell you herself. There's a lot that you don't know." Two-bit gave me a bad feeling in my gut. What did I know? Why didn't I know it?

"She use to talk to me," I exhaled, "How am I suppose to know what'd going on when she acts like everything is perfect all the time?" I grumbled. Maybe I was being dramatic, but I just found out that we had even bigger families.

"She did not use to talk to you! Maybe more than she does now, but no one ever knows what's going on with Mary! She's probably more talkative now than she ever was. Yeah, maybe she talked to your dad, but even then it was short and sweet. Like that time she failed math! Your parents weren't even mad that she failed they were mad she didn't tell them." I remembered what Two-bit was talking about, they were mad for most of the summer. She didn't even tell them, they found out when the report card came in the mail. When they asked her about it she didn't seem surprised or anything she just told them what the report card said, that she would have to retake it.

"What am I even suppose to do right now? She's not like Pony! I can't ground her. She works, and does a million things, so grounding her would hurt us. Plus, she'll be an adult in a matter of months anyway!" I put my head in my hands.

"Just let things play out. She'll talk to Jones tomorrow; just let her put everything back in place. Like Pony said, she didn't think you would ever find out. She's been pretty good about not letting you know anything until now. Don't you kind of appreciate that a little? You do have enough to worry about as is." Two-bit was right, but he was also wrong. It wasn't that I didn't have time for Mary's problems, I just didn't know she had any! But, I guess it was a little true that I have known for a little while that something was going on, but she didn't tell me and I didn't really want to have to think about anything else.

"I don't want her to be out in there with the weight of the world on her shoulders because she won't let anyone in."I sighed.

"Have you told her that?"

"When did you grow up?" I looked back and grinned.

"You better not tell anyone!" Two-bit nudged me.

"Now what?" I asked him after a little bit of silence.

"If it were my sister I would try to find her. But, Mary is nothing like my sister, so I don't know what to tell you." I knew Two-bit had a sister, but I guess I had briefly forgotten.

"I guess I could call Linda, from Mary's work, or maybe even Angela." Two-bit squinted up his face and I looked over to him. "Just say it," I sighed.

"I would start with Travis." He said, but then he looked like he had something else to say.

"Yeah, I guess they are pretty good friends." I agreed, but he still had a look on his face.

"Damn it, Two-bit!" I didn't mean to snap, but I didn't even feel bad about it.

"You could try Tim." He looked at me as if he expected me to over react. I didn't. I nodded my head and stood up going back towards the house.

"Darry," Two-bit caught my attention. I stopped, but I didn't turn back around. "Have a little faith. She _is_ the strong one."

I walked in the house, and was greeted by Steve and Soda on the couch. I thought about saying something, but I didn't know what to say.

"What are you doing Dar?" Soda spoke as I pulled out numbers in a drawer under the phone looking for Buck's.

"I'm going to call Travis." I answered. No one said anything, which was probably wise. I could tell Soda was trying to think of something to say.

"Buck, it's Darrel Curtis. Is Travis around?" I paused as he put the phone down to go find him. I didn't even know what I thought Travis was going to do. Why would he know where she was, weren't they in a fight?

"Hey, Darry is everything okay?" Travis picked up the phone. I could hear the concern in his voice. I wondered if mine sounded like anger or fear. I guess it could be a combination.

"Not really, Mary uh." I started and then paused. How was I suppose to explain Mary. "She left-" I stopped talking again.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Travis didn't understand.

Soda reached over and took the phone, "Travis, she left like an hour ago. She had a pretty bad day. Do you know where she might have gone to?" At first I was annoyed that he grabbed the phone, but in hind sight it was a pretty good thing he did just then.

Soda and Travis talked for an other minute or two, but he then hung up. "He has a couple places he can look. He suggested calling Tim." Soda looked at me waiting for directions.

"Call Tim." I said apathetically.

"Tim, it's Soda. You seen Mary?" Soda cut right to the chase.

"Not recently, but maybe she's with Angela? I haven't seen Angela since she left this morning." I could hear Tim talking to Soda on the phone; he was loud.

"Oh, okay, well will you give us a call if either of them show up?" Soda spoke very well on the phone. I wondered if he had to talk on the phone much at work.

"He said-" Soda started.

"Yeah, I heard him." I cut in sitting down.

"What do you want to do?" Steve asked nobly.

"I want to know what's going on," I said with a hint of hostility. I waited until they started talking.

Xxxxx

Mary wasn't at Buck's, I assume she wasn't at Tim's, but I had a couple other guesses. I put the car in reverse and drove to her parents' graveyard. I never like graveyards. I understood why she never went to visit; it was an especially creepy graveyard.

"Where are you Mar?" I asked myself. I was afraid of what she was doing or thinking right now, especially if she was alone. When she was alone she didn't have anyone to be responsible for, so she just did what ever the hell she wanted. I guess when you become a head of a house at 17 when your parents' die you do get to do what you want sometimes.

Finally it dawned on me, I knew where she was. I kicked myself for not thinking about it sooner. With a sigh of relief I pulled over at the next gas station I saw to get a few necessary items.

Once I got to the parking lot I physically held my breath as I turned the corner. I hoped with all my might that Mary's truck was going to be here. Luckily, it was. I parked beside hers and opened the gym door.

My heart stopped when I didn't see her right away. I opened the door farther and walked in. There she was, hanging by her knees on the uneven bars. I stopped and looked to see if she was crying, or if she looked mad. I just wanted a heads up on what to expect.

"Mary," I spoke through a voice crack. She flipped down and looked at me faster than a hiccup.

"What are you doing here?" She asked not even surprised to see me.

"I wanted to find you." I walked a little closer.

"Find me? I was never lost." She didn't walk toward me.

"I know you're mad at me, but I brought a peace offering." I placed two cases of beer on the balance beam.

"Why, Travis, why did you want to find me?" She didn't seem like she was mad, or even upset. She honestly just seemed like she didn't care. She looked like I had lost her trust, like the whole world had lost her trust.

"You want to know why I keep telling you to trust me or why I never told you the reason I could be gone at any second?" I opened two beers and handed her one. She took it watching me. "You, Mary Curtis, are my person."  
>"What is that suppose to mean?" She took long sips of the beer.<p>

"It means that when I'm around you I feel better. It means that when I'm not with you I'm thinking about you! It means I care about you for reasons I cannot explain. Mary, there's no one like you in this world! I love you, but not in a passionate kind of way , but also not as a sister kind of way, but as a you are my person kind of way. When you hurt, I hurt." I opened a second beer and handed it to her, and she looked at me.

"If I have to sit here all night in silence because you still hate me I will, but I'm not going to leave. That was a mistake I will not make again. You can fight or push me away, but I won't leave. Mary, as long as I am able to stay, I will not let you down." As I talked I saw tears well up in her eyes. Of course, she turned away, but I grabbed her shoulder. She drank the rest of her second beer with out coming up for air.

"I over reacted, you didn't lie, you just didn't tell me the truth. It just ended the image I had of you in my head," she put her hand on my arm.

"What image?"

"The image of you being the one person in this world who hadn't hurt me," her bottom lip quivered, but she was a fighter and she fought the tears opening a third beer. Her words hurt. I felt horribly about hurting her.

"Mary, give me an other chance," I got down on my knees and begged. Her next move was unexpected.

"Will you give me an other chance?" She asked me the same question on her knees as well.

"Always, I will always give you as many chances as you need." I pulled her into a hug as she started to cry. It was a soft cry , it might not have even been a cry. She stood up and walked around as she drank her beer.

"What happened today? What caused this?" By this I meant her literally drinking her weight.

"Curly Sheppard got me fired from my job," she finished the third drink and put her for arms on the balance beam catching her breath.

"He told me at school and I pretty much flipped a shit, cool and collected Mary no more!" She held the empty bottle in the air. "The principle suspended Curly. I just left that hell hole before they even had a chance to suspend me, which probably made things worse," she squinted one eye and pointed her finger at me as if she was thinking.

"Does Darry know?" This must have been why Darry seemed so frustrated on the phone. He seemed more than frustrated. I was pretty sure a word had not yet been invented to explain how Darry sounded.

"By now, I'm sure. I left before the principal called," She reached for an other drink, but sat on the ground in the process.

"Mary, I'm so sorry," I draped my arm over her. I didn't even know what else to say.

"I don't even know if I'm afraid of Darry being mad, or if I'm afraid that I let him down. Shit, I let him down everyday he just doesn't know it. There's no way to hide this!" She pulled away from my arm. She never like people touching her, that was not anything new.

"You ready for some twisted bull?" She drank first. "I'm sleeping with my best friends brother, whose other brother is trying to ruin my life. But, Angela and Curly don't know that I'm sleeping with Tim, and Tim and Curly don't know that Angela's pregnant. So, all three will soon hate me when they all find out eachothers secrets." Mary was starting to slur her words.

"Angela's pregnant?" I actually felt my mouth drop a little.

"She was raped."

"Did she call the police?" My heart was racing again.

"No, remember when she was at my house for a few days a few months ago. That's when it happened," Mary put her hand on her head.

"I do remember that now, man this is messed up." I understood Mary much better now.

"Yeah, that's an understatement." She grabbed an other drink.

"You know you're drinking too fast and you're going to throw all of that back up right?" She didn't even listen to what I was saying.

"Tell me Mary, why do you think drinking in stressful situations helps?"

"Because it helps me forgot all the bull shit. I can't tell my best friend I'm sleeping with her brother, or I can't tell the guy I'm sleeping with that his sister is having a baby that a rapist put inside of her. It helps me forget bullshit like, I can't tell my family that I'm unemployed, and not being able to contribute to my family, even though they might already know thanks to my melt down at school which caused bullshit like getting suspended from school. It helps me forget that my brother is hurting because his girlfriend is a whore, and that he's been hurtful It helps me forget that I've hurt so many people too. It just helps." Mary was still holding her head, I was just counting down until she puked.

"I'm going to get a trashcan." I told her. I was also going to call Darry, but I didn't know if it was a good idea that I told her.

"Darry, it's Travis." I had a feeling Darry would know it is me. I didn't know who else would call him at quarter till 12 on a work night. "I'm with Mary."

"Is she alright?" Darry asked. I knew he was worried about her.

"I think she will be. I'll make sure she gets to school tomorrow." I tried to underplay what was going on, I actually didn't know if she would be able to go to school. She was going to have a hell of a hang over.

"Are you brining her home?"

"No, were at a buddy of mine's place. I can't get her to go home." I hadn't really tried, but I was sure if I did she would object.

"Take care of her, Travis." Darry instructed.

"Yes sir," I hung up the phone and carried a trashcan back with me. Even drunk, I could tell Mary was in pain. She was laying on the ground, so I went over and sat beside her. I didn't know what to say, so I was glad she spoke first.

"I don't know why you'd want to be my person. You have such a respected title. You are a _soldier_. Why would you want to hang around a screw up like me," Mary leaned forward and threw up in the trash can.

"I'm not any more respected than you are a screw up," I told Mary as she put her head on my leg. I felt a tear on my leg. They became frequent, so I put my hand on her back only for her to throw up again.

"What am I going to do Travis?" She sobbed laying back down.

"Right now, you're going to sleep. Tomorrow, we'll worry about that later," I whispered in her ear. She didn't fall asleep for such a long time She cried for what seemed like forever, I'm sure she felt like death. She drank up wards of 6 bears in a small time period on an empty stomach. Not to mention the built up pain she seemed to burring constantly. She cried and cried and cried. I kept stroking her hair not knowing what to do. She was going to have to go to school in less than 4 hours, I didn't know what I was going to do if she was too hung over to go.

The way her head was on my leg made my toes fall asleep. Over time they started to pulse, but I was too afraid to move my leg and wake her up. I eventually fell asleep sitting in an upright position. I woke up a little before she needed to wake up for school. I thought about everything that had happened. I thought about what was going to happen next. Thirty minutes were gone before I knew it, and I shook her waking her up.

Her eyes opened immediately and she sat up looking around, "Where the hell?" She started looking at me.

"Were at the gym," I stood up and massaged my leg where head had been.

She didn't speak, I could almost see her mind working trying to put all of the pieces together.

"You have that meeting with Mr. Jones soon Mar." I reminded her.

"Shit," she muttered holding her head, I figured her head probably was hurting by now. "I've got to shower," she told me picking up a bag from the corner. I had not even realized it was there.

"I see you've done this before." I watched her walk into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later she came back out dressed nicely, but you could see in her face that she wasn't feeling super great. The gym had one of those really long mirrors that she walked up to as she put on some eye make up.

"I guess you can't avoid the inevitable huh?" She gave me a smile as I opened the door for her.

"Can you drive?" I followed her to her truck.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm completely fine." Her words and her face told different stories.

"I'll follow you," I insisted.

"I really have to do this alone," she looked nervous. Her hands were even shaking a little.

"I get that. Mar, worst case scenario you get to see me instead of being in a classroom for a little while. Or even worse, you get to see Tim. He'll owe you too cause his kid brother got you in this mess. Think of that!" She smiled at me as she cranked the car and pulled out.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Anyone still reading? It's been a while...

I sat in the uncomfortable chairs fidgeting with the hem of my skirt as I waited. I hadn't really noticed how bad I felt until just now. My body hurt everywhere, and my stomach. I had not been this nauseous in a long time. I kept taking deep breath through my nose, and before I know it Mr. Jones called me into his office.

"Mary, have a seat," he pointed to the chair across from his desk.

"I see we have a bit of a situation our hands, wouldn't you say?" He pulled his glasses on his nose and looked at me.

"Yes sir." I agreed not knowing what else to do.

"You've had quite a few weeks here Mary. When I talked to you about skipping classes a week or so ago, I thought it was going to be our only run in, and when you talked to our counselor I assumed that things were going well. So you can understand my surprise when I found out that not only did you exchange words to an other student you deliberately disobeyed a teachers orders, and left school." He paused speaking and looked over to me. I felt so hot, I was worried that I was going to start sweating through my clothes.

"I took it upon myself to talk to your teachers who also agree that you have been distracted and even at times a disruption, coming in late and not paying attention. You are even close to failing a class. I realize that you have never been a straight A student, but I have never seen any problems with you before." He looked over at me for a long time. I wondered if I looked as bad as I felt. I felt a huge chill wave come over me, but I was wiping sweat off of my forehead.

"I have some concerns Mary. I worry that your situation at home is affecting you more than you are letting people realize."

"My situation at home sir?" I didn't even know what situation he was referring to because I couldn't even count everything that was going on at home.

"How are you getting along at home with out your parents?" He tried to tip toe around some big question by asking aggravating little ones.

"I'm not sure what you mean. It hasn't been easy if that is what you are asking, but other than my parents not being around not too much has changed." I lied a little but tried to keep a straight face even though all I wanted to do was lay down on the floor and die.

"I know that Darry just took the football coaching position, and I know he has an other roofing job as well. That doesn't really leave him much time to take care of Soda and Pony. Do you feel that added burden?" He took his glasses off of his face and placed on end in his mouth.

"Sir, my brothers don't expect anything out of me that my parents didn't before they died. The only thing that would have made my parents dying worse would have been being separated from the three people left that I call family." I was short on breath when I stopped talking. My head was pounding

"Mary, are you alright?" He asked me. I nodded my head and paused before he kept talking.

"You have put me in a hard position on what to do now. If you were an other student I would have already suspended your ass by now. But, I don't think that would do you any good. I called Darry, I explained to him that I thought you needed mandatory counseling, he didn't agree. With out his consent I can't make you go, but with out you agreeing to attend I can't put the last few incidents behind us. Do you understand?" He kept talking to me like I was stupid.

"So you want me to go to counseling or what?" I wasn't about to meet with that annoying lady and talk about my feelings.

"Suspension." He told me flatly.

"For how long?"

"Mary, you would rather be suspended than talk, why?" He looked at me hard.

"Sir, how long am I suspended for?" I didn't even care how long I was suspend for I just wanted out of his dang office.

"I'll make you a deal, you talk to our counselor, just this one time today and then go home for the rest of today and, I'll consider that a three day suspension. In addition to that, detention. Let's make it tomorrow too, give you a little time to get it together," he scribbled down on a red piece of paper and looked at me. I wondered if he thought I was hung over, hell I wondered if I was hung over.

"When do you work, I can be a little flexible about that." He waited for me to answer.

I knew the look on my face probably looked pathetic as I tried to think about what to say. "I don't." I was ashamed to say that. I had been working for so long. Before my parents died they'd never let me help them pay for anything, so I saved everything. If I wouldn't have had that money they wouldn't have had a decent funeral, and we would be in a lot tougher place than we are now. Not being able to contribute made me feel worthless.

"You don't what?" He didn't follow me.

"I don't work at the Diner anymore."

"What a shame you were so good at it." I thought he meant well, I don't think anyone really likes to hear that they are a good waitress, but I'll take the compliments where I get them. "What made you quit?" He asked me. He had to be the dumbest man alive just then.

"I got fired sir, Curly made sure of that," sweat dripped off my forehead, I was kind of grossed out by myself. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Darry if you call him, I just found out and I haven't told him." He looked at me again. I guess he wasn't use to people who were complicated, because he seemed surprised by everything I said.

He let out a long sigh like him keeping his mouth shut was a real inconvenience, "I'll see what I can do. Go talk to the counselor, and I'll see you Friday in detention after school." As I stood up everything had black dots and I couldn't see. I guess Mr Jones saw it too, as the next think I new he was beside me.

"Mary what's going on?" He put his hand on my back as I leaned up against the wall.

Wouldn't I like to know what was going on! It took me a little while to get ahold of myself, but when I did the best I could I forced, "I'm fine sir, I just want to go talk to this lady and get it over with." I sort of nudged him away.

"I'll bring her here, okay?" He wiped his hand that had been touching my sweaty back on his pants leg. I sat back down as he went over to his phone. I was feeling really weak, my legs felt like jelly. "I hope you feel better Mary," he told me as he walked out and the counselor walked in.

"Mary, hi, it has been a while." She smiled at me warmly. She seems so nice, but I just didn't buy it.

"How have things been?" She asked casually, but I knew the faster I talked the quicker I got out.

"What can I say to get out of here in the next few minutes?" I didn't mean to be a bitch but I felt like border line death.

"Are you hung over right now?" She asked me catching me by surprise.

"I don't think this is a hang over." I was being honest. I have been hung over, but I never felt like this.

"But you have been drinking." She clarified.

"Sure, haven't." I lied.

She put her pen down and looked at me, "What am I going to have to do to get you to trust me?"

"There's nothing you can do, I'm here because the principal made me, I don't want you to fix me I'm prefect just the way I am, so my parents both told me." I think I lashed out at her, which wasn't fair because it wasn't her fault, but she knew I was feeling bad.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, let me call someone to come pick you up." She offered.

"I'm okay, I drove here this morning," I stood up more cautiously this time, feeling kind of bad I turned back around and thanked her anyway before I left. I felt like the hallway was especially long, and right as I closed the door the bell rang for class change making my eyes feel like they were going to fall out of my head or something.

People kept bumping into me, or maybe I was bumping into them once I was almost out the doors someone took it a little to far.

"What where you're going Grease!" One spat followed by several other rude comments. One guy blocked my path.

"Where you going, huh? Even scum need an education." I wasn't really worried that one of them was going to hurt me, I never threatened any of them and Socs didn't _usually_ go much past harassment unless they had a reason, but I wasn't feeling up to it.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard Steve's voice behind me. I turned my head and saw Dally, Two-bit, and Johnny too.

"Get away from her, who do you think you are?" Two-bit stepped up. They were all getting in each others faces I knew this probably wouldn't end well.

"Aw look, the runt of your little gang finally came out of hiding." It sounded like that was Randy, but I couldn't really be certain.

"You better watch it!" Dally grabbed his shirt.

"Or what?" I was pretty sure that was Bob. I knew I shouldn't even waste my breath trying to get them to break it up, not that I really had the breath to give. My head started to really pound, and I thought I was going to throw up. The next thing I knew I was grabbing on to someone's shirt on my down. I don't remember actually hitting the ground. I felt so many hands on me, I was sure some of them had to be the Soc's.

"What'd you do!"

"I didn't touch her man." I didn't know who was talking or what was going on. I left arms pull me up, and as I stood back up I could see better.

"What's going on over there?" I heard Mr. Jones' voice. He monotone annoying as hell voice was engraved in my head.

"Get out of here guys," I hissed walking a little bit, "I'm fine, just lost my balance is all." Truthfully I didn't know what happened. Two-bit had his hands on my arms, I was sure he was gonna leave a bruise.

"Are you going home?" Two-bit let go as I pushed him off.

"Yup, you're going back to school. I'm not gonna be responsible for you too Two-bit." We got to the stairs and I held on to the railing like my life depended on it.

"Oh please, I wasn't planning on going anyway. Let me drive?" Even if I wanted to I couldn't have fought with him. I handed him the keys and got in.

"So what happened?" Two-bit waited a little while to ask. I thought about not answering him, but I figured I might as well.

"I'm suspended until Friday, then I have detention once I get back," I kept looking out the window, but I closed my eyes because looking at the trees made me dizzy.

"So are you sick or hung over?" Two bit laughed a little. I didn't blame him, I laughed at him every time he was hung over.

"I fine." I grumbled.

"You might as well stop lying cause you look like hell," I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah well, I didn't ask you to drive me." It was a cheap shot I knew it, but I didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, like this family could handle anyone else dying in a automobile accident." Two-bit put the car in park. I wondered if he was going to be mad at me now, but I didn't really care if he was.

"Is Soda at work?" I really hoped he was.

"We dropped him off this morning." Two-bit walked ahead of me inside.

"He doing okay?" I was worried about him, I just didn't need him to know that.

"As good as you can expect," he shrugged sitting on the couch with a beer.

Xxxxxx

I watched her walk into the kitchen. She was walking like she had been hit by a car.

She took one look at the kitchen and started cleaning, it was like a disease she had.

I watched her struggle for a while. She had to stop after every dish, I was just waiting for her to throw up in the sink. When I thought she had suffered enough, I walked over to her, "I still don't think Darry or Soda know that you were fired. But seeing as Pony and Steve know, I would say it is only a matter of time," I pulled out a chair for her to sit in, but she just slid down and sat on the floor instead.

"How mad was Darry? Mr. Jones said he called." She asked me pulling the pins out of her hair follows by taking off her shoes.

"I talked to him last night about it. I told him that girls are different than guys, dealing with shitty situations I mean. I told him that Curly pushed you too far. Hopefully it helped." I was being modest, because I knew that it helped.

"Thanks Two-bit." She told me looking up a little.

"There's still plenty he doesn't know Goldilocks. He don't know you party hard, drink, or sleep with Tim. I don't think Steve even knows that, so rest assured." I thought I would get a smile or a sigh of relief out of her, but I was starting to worry a little.

"I'm starting to think this isn't a hang over Mar," I told her touching her forehead. She didn't even bat my hand away, which was an other give away something was off. "You're burning up." She didn't respond. "Come on, you need to get in bed." If she had been feeling well she would have made a joke about how many women I _got in bed with_, and how she wasn't going to be one.

"I'm fine, I can' walk," she stood up and fell into me. It wasn't like huge fall it was more of a sink, like she lost her balance or got dizzy.

"Like hell you can," I mumbled. I easily picked her up under her legs and carried her back to her room. She didn't object or anything, not even when I made a comment about her being lighter than Karen.

I pulled the covers over her even though she was sweating bullets.

"I'm gonna be sick," she sat back up. There was a trashcan on the side if the nightstand I grabbed quickly and she threw up in it. It wasn't much content, just enough to make me want to throw up. She then laid back down shivering. She closed her eyes but I figured she wasn't asleep. She didn't look like she was in peace at all. I sat on the floor and leaned up against the bed watching. What else was I suppose to do?  
>"Two-bit," She lifted her head.<p>

"Yeah?" I stood up.

"You don't have to stay, I'm" she started, but I interrupted.

"You're not fine Mary. You're not, accept it," I handed her water that I brought back into the room. She took a couple sips and placed it on the nightstand.

"Do you think this is what it feels like to be dying?" She asked me throwing me off guard a little bit.

"I would imagine so, but I have no idea." I didn't really know what to say to that.

"I wish I was dying." She muttered. That hit me like a stack of bricks.

"Aw, come on, you don't mean that." I didn't think she really meant it either, but when she didn't say anything I did have my doubts.

"When is everyone supposed to be home?" She didn't even look at me, her eyes were closed. She was laying on her back, and I knew that she couldn't really be comfortable.

"Soda gets off at 5, Pony gets home at 3, and Darry who knows," I let out a sigh and resumed my seat on the floor.

"If you insist on staying," she started talking, but her voice was raspy. "I don't bite." I appreciated her trying to be nice.

"I don't want to get sick," I laughed laying down beside her.

"I'm not sick," she argued closing her eyes. This time she kept them closed for awhile. I watched her for a little while, then when I figured she was going to be asleep for a while I walked back out the den. Watching her sleep wasn't really in my line of duty.

I flipped through the channels a bit, but it wasn't much after I sat down that Travis came in. Of course he knocked briefly before walking in.

"Hey man," he greeted.

"Hey yourself," I offered him a seat.

"Not to be rude, but I wasn't really expecting you," I couldn't help but chuckle at the kid, _or was he a kid? Who was this guy really?_

"Sorry to disappoint, just who exactly were you hoping to see?"

"Well I wasn't hoping to see Mary, but I figured she would have been suspended now." He started looking around the house.

"Yeah, the convict is in her room sick as death. Quite literally," I knew he wouldn't understand why that was funny, but I did.

"I figured so this morning," he walked into the kitchen and started straightening up.

"What'd you guys do last night?" I raised my eyebrow interested. "Last I heard, from Darry, she was mad at you."

"Yeah, she was mad. I didn't tell her I was in the army." He answered one question, but left about a million unanswered. Maybe that was why they got along.

"And why wouldn't you tell her that? Chicks dig a man in uniform!" I thought back to the uniforms I had worn, none of which were mine, to impress a woman.

"It's complicated," he didn't pay me any attention. He was putting dishes away and cleaning off the counter. I wanted to tell him to uncomplicated it, but I hardly knew the fellow.

Mary came walking out of her room, "I need an aspirin." She certainly didn't look good, because I knew how she looked when she was at her best. But, I bet a stranger wouldn't be able to tell she felt as bad as she did.

"Mary, how are you feeling?" Travis asked the obvious, I could tell that she was gonna snap at him. What can I say, I know women.

"Just peachy," she moseyed on over to the cabinets. Travis handed her water and she sat down on the chair.

"Are you any better? You don't look _that_ bad. Well I mean there's your hair and everything, but if you over look that," I laughed at my joke as usual, and she smiled a little too.

"I'm really hot!" She drank a little of the water.

"Eh, you've looked better," I disagreed.

"No smart ass, I meant temperature wise. Are you not hot?" She was still sweating, but I was pretty sure it was just from a fever.

"You do have a fever Blondie," I told her. "What do you think?" I asked Travis.

"Oh I know nothing about people being sick. I've never been sick," he put his hands up like I was pointing a gun at him.

"How is that possible?" I didn't know if I was more impressed or doubtful.

"Its not possible," Mary contributed.

"It sure is. I don't know how to deal with sick people." I believed we had just found a flaw in soldier boy.

"You garden, you run, you are an engineer, you fix things, but you aren't a doctor. Useless." Mary hung her head in her hands.

"It could be a hang over from hell," that was an other flaw, he knew nothing about drinking.

"If this was a hang over, there would be a whole lot less drunks out on the street. It's the flu or something." I told them both turning on the ceiling fan so princess wouldn't melt.

"What time is it?" Mary asked.

"2," Travis looked over to the clock. "What can I do to help clean or what not?"

"There's not much to do other than cook dinner, I'll do that in a little while," Mary was pulling her hair into a bun on the top of her head. It was pretty much wet with sweat.

"What were you gonna cook, I'll do it?" He offered.

"You cook?" I was impressed.

"Only a little, but I survive," he was modest, I didn't know many modest guys.

"What ever I could find. I haven't been to the store since I got fired," Mary rubbed her eye brow. I was wondering if she was gonna puke.

"Are you gonna throw up?"

"Nah," She lifted her head. She looked pretty miserable. We asked if she wanted to go back to bed, or lay on the couch, but she kept insisting she didn't want to move.

"Can you die from a heat stroke?" She asked from what I thought was out of the blue.

"Well I assume it's possible. What is this fascination with death? Its creepy," I stood up and walked to the fridge. When I opened it and saw no beer I thought I might die."You've been robbed!" I shouted.

"Damn it Two-bit!" Mary jumped. I thought she was going to stab me.

"You're out of beer!" I told her.

"I guess no one got around to buying it. It's too hot in here," Mary started walking outside.

"Is that a good idea?" Travis asked me.

"I guess, it's cooler outside," I shrugged following her outside. She pushed my arm off her back.

"Stop fussing over me."

"I'd hate for you to die, with me knowing I didn't do everything I could, okay?" I was completely joking, but I guess she didn't think it was funny. "You're not really dying." I added to clarify. She closed her eyes again and leaned her head against the railing.

The next thing I knew her body was slumping over like she was unconscious.

"Mary?" I stood up real fast putting out my smoke on the banisters. "She's on fire," I said to myself touching her forehead.

"Travis, get the ice out of the freezer!" I yelled. I had seen my mom put ice on my sister's head before when she had a high fever.

"There isn't any, why?" Travis came outside surprised to see me standing over Mary the way I was.

"We have to cool her off, she's burning up," I picked her up again and Travis grabbed the door. "Such a gentleman," I told him carrying Mary to the bathroom and putting her in the tub. I turned the water on cold and put it on her.

"Do you think we need to take her to the hospital?" Travis asked. I didn't answer him for many reasons. I didn't answer mostly, because I didn't know if she needed to go or not. I knew if she went and didn't really need to her and Darry would both be pissed, but also knew if her fever got too high something bad could happen.

It didn't take but a long second until her eyes opened. She clearly didn't know what had happened.

"You have a fever Princess, do you think we need to take you to the hospital?" I was kneeling beside the tub almost as wet as her at this point.

"Hospital, what? No, I'm fine!" She batted my hand off of her arm.

"Says the girl whose fever was so high we had to put her in a freezing tub," Travis fought back. I figured if I would have said that she would have for sure swatted at me.

"What time is it?" She asked a few minutes later. We were all just sitting there looking at each other not knowing what to do.

"Almost 3," I told her.

"3, Pony will be home soon. Travis, will you take him somewhere? He really likes you. You too Two-bit." She didn't really ask, she more told us.

"I don't know Mar, we shouldn't leave you here." I told her as she turned off the water.

"If you want to help, keep Pony away until later tonight when Darry and Soda get off okay?" She stood up. I thought that she looked unstable, but I wasn't too sure.

"What's the big deal if you sick Mar? I'm sure Pony's seen you sick before," Travis handed her a towel.

"I don't have time do be sick. Okay, guys, out, go find Pony," she shooed us and closed the door behind us.

Xxx

I did as she said and walked out the door knowing in my gut that I was making the wrong choice. It's not like it is my house anyway. Two-bit followed me out, and we meet Pony at the street. Johnny was with him too.

"Hey kid, we're going to the movies," Two-bit said nonchalantly. I would have believed him too.

"We are, why?"Pony didn't seem to believe him.

"Well, I guess we don't have too, but I just thought for sure you would want to. You're always blabbing about wanting to go!" Two-bit kept at it. He should just drop out of school and become an actor because clearly school was not the place for him.

"You want to go Johnny?" Pony turned to him. He shrugged and we all started down the street. My mind was juggling what to do.

"You know, I forgot something, I'll just catch up on a bit." I knew that someone needed to stay with Mary.

"I bet you didn't forget it." Two-bit grabbed the back of my jacket.

"No, I really did, trust me," I looked at him until I let go.

"What was that all about?" I heard Johnny ask as I was walking away.

It only took a mater of seconds that passed as I walked back to the house, but  
>but my mind was racing as I walked. Not necessarily because I thought she was going to be dead or anything, but mostly because I didn't really want her to be mad that I was there.<p>

When I got back to the house and she was in her room I started to make myself useful. I started to round up laundry and put on supper. I paid special attention to the time so that the buzzer wouldn't go off and wake her up. While I was searching for the salt I opened a drawer and came across old opened mail. Being nosy I started looking through them. There had to be at least 8 bills in there that looked like they had not been paid. I got an overwhelming feeling that something was going on. Feeling uncomfortable I stopped and put everything back. But not matter how I tried I could not shake the feeling I had in my gut.

Did Mary know about the money troubles? If she didn't am I suppose to tell her? What does that mean about her loosing her job, that's money they no longer have. The last time I didn't tell her something I was pretty much dead to her.

I sat down and started to think about it all. What could I do? What should I do? People weren't kidding when they told me there was never a dull moment with the Curtis'.

Right around 5, Soda walked in the door I was a little surprised he was alone. I thought for sure Steve would be with him.

"Hey, Travis!" He seemed surprised to see me.

"Hey, how was work?" I asked getting my feet off the coffee table.

"Not too bad, I have tomorrow off, so that will be nice. Where is everyone?" He asked getting water out of the sink.

"Two-bit went to the movies with Pony and Johnny. Mary is sleeping." I told him as he sat across from me in the chair pulling his shirt off.

"Any word about what happened to her at school?" He asked me looking at me a weird way.

"You wouldn't tell me if you knew would you?" He gave me a hard stare, I was surprised someone as happy go lucky as him could give such a stern stare.

"Honestly?" I asked him.

"Wouldn't expect anything less from our countries finest," he half kidded, but I could not be sure.

"I wouldn't say anything she wouldn't tell you herself." I told him honestly because I figured there was no point in lying about this.

"Loyalty, that's good. So what does that make ya'll dating?"

"Quite the opposite." I told him simply.

"What does that mean?" He didn't seem to follow, not that I blamed him, I'm not sure I did either.

"You ever have anyone in your life that's solely there for your best interest? Someone that wants what is best for you always, that believes in you when no one else does?" I thought it worth a try to explain.

"I thought I did, but I don't think that exists." He looked at me like he had been hit one too many times.

"You see, I was the same way until I ran into Mary," I told him with a smile.

"What does that even mean." He was edgy.

"It means that I care about her! There are no strings between me and her, I only want what is best for her with no "what ifs" attached! Do you understand?" I tried my best, but it was something so new to me.

"What do you get out of it?"

"Nothing but good laughs and good memories man!" I laughed a little.

"The problem is I don't believe you. I think you are swooping in here at a real convenient time, when she's vulnerable flash your army card then crush her because you don't have to deal with the fall out because you'll be god knows where, only you know when."

"I'm sorry you think that. I'm mostly sorry because you're letting the rare and unfair situation that happened to you affect your judgment. I wish I could tell you I was raised better than that, but I wasn't. I wish I could tell you I've never hurt anyone but I have," I stood up and turned around to look at him. "Life if short man, believe me I saw that in ways I wouldn't wish on anyone, and if by coming here I can help hers, it's worth it. I'll be lucky if I make it back alive the next time, and because I don't know I'm damn sure going to make this time count for something. Luck is all it is out there."

"Are you in love with her?" He squinted his eyes and looked at me very hard, I could tell he was trying to tell if I was lying or not.

"I love her smile, have you noticed that when she smiles there's a sparkle in her eye? I love that when I am with her she lets her guard down and I know I am with the real Mary. I love that she makes me realize there are some people worth fighting for. But its not a passionate love if that is what you mean. I'm not attracted to her anymore than I am attracted to you or anyone else. And your right when I'm gone I'm gone, and I imagine that will be hard, but if I help her now isn't that enough?" I walked out the door letting it slam behind me. I wasn't upset by what he said. I didn't expect him to understand.

XXXXXXXXX

I forced my eyes open almost anticipating on a headache, but I sat there I wasn't feeling too horrible. I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I hardly recognized the ghost looking at me. I headed off to the shower thankful no one was home yet. Turning on the water and stepping in took my breath away for a bit. It made me realize I was going to be fine. I stood there motionless I started to plan the next bit of my life. When Darry came home I was going to apologize for not telling him, and then tell him how I was going to fix it. Then I really needed to find Tim, and I needed to figure out what him and I were, and from there I would figure out if I needed to tell him about Angela. I decided I was going to avoid both Soda and the being fired conversation for as long as possible. Unless Darry already knew I was fired, and in that case I didn't even know what I was going to do. Having a bit of a plan made me feel a little better. I did still have a cloud over me, it felt like I was moving slow motion and I couldn't do anything to speed it up. It felt like I was fuzzy.

I opened the bathroom door noticing that something smelled really good, someone must be home. I walked into the kitchen looking to see what time it was.

"Mary, it smells good!" Soda came up behind me.

"Hey, Soda," I spun around and looked at him, I was confused, if he didn't cook then who did?

"You're day go okay?" He asked me as I lifted the lid off the pot. It was soup, what a perfect idea, you can make soup out of anything.

"It could have been worse," I tasted the soup. It was not half bad! I was very impressed. This had to be the work of Travis.

"What happened?" I could tell Soda was trying to pull information out of me.

"No offense, Soda, but I'm not in the mood to talk to you about this." I wasn't trying to be rude, but I didn't think I owed him an explanation.

"Why's that?" Soda had a blank look on his face.

I looked at him first with out speaking, "no reason," I finally said with a sigh. Expecting him to understand that he hurt me accusing me of the whole Sandy situation was unreal, mostly because since then he had been in a down word cycle, and I doubted he even remembered.

Not much after that Pony walked in with Darry, "Hey guys," I smiled, "Did Darry pick you up from the movie?"

"Yeah, he saw us walking back it was starting to rain, Johnny went home with Two-bit." Pony answered me.

"Smells good," Darry said walking towards his room.

"Was the movie any good?" Soda asked him.

"Yeah, but you would not have liked it," Pony sat beside him.

"You're probably right about that," Soda smiled. As they talked I weighed some options in my head, and I decided it would be better if I approached Darry. "You guys go ahead and eat while it's warm," I told them walking back to Darry's room. I stood outside his door, I could feel my heart rate picking up. I wasn't scared I was in trouble, I knew Darry wouldn't do anything, I was mostly just afraid of disappointing him.

I knocked and waited for him to respond, "Come in," he told me.

"Can we talk?" I asked half in half out of the room.

"That's probably a good idea." He didn't really look at me. I closed the door behind me, and took a deep breath.

"What do you want to know?" I asked not even knowing where to start.

"I guess tell me what I need to know," he was folding clothes. I thought about what that meant.

"Uh," I started what does that mean? "I'm suspended for two days." I thought for sure this would get a response.

"Is that all?" He asked emotionless.

"Yeah, I got some detention too, but it won't be too bad." I shrugged. I waited for him to acknowledge me. When he didn't I started to leave his room.

"For the future, it would be nice to tell me in advance when you screw up so I'm not caught off guard when the principal calls me and makes me look like a damn fool." I froze at the door and he looked at me hard.

"It won't happen again," I walked back to my room and grabbed a couple things, and headed towards the front door.

"I'm going to Angela's guys." I told them picking up the keys.

"You okay Mar?" Pony asked me.

"Yeah, don't you worry everything's fine!" I turned around and kissed the top of his head before I left. The last thing I wanted to do was freak him out.

"Angela just struggles in school is all!" I glanced at Soda, I wondered if he knew where she actually was.

"It's really raining out there," Soda looked out the window, "Be careful."

"Always am," I pushed the door open and walked out.

I drove to the little general store down the road where I knew there was a pay phone. My heart was still racing as I shifted the car into park. I ran from my car to the phone booth, but I couldn't get the door completely closed so the rain was creeping in.

"Hello," I heard at the other end, I knew immediately who it was and I let out a sigh.

"Hey, it's me." Even though he couldn't see me I still smiled.

"Mary, I've been wondering if you were a one hit wonder." He joked.

"Oh please, you alone?"

"Sure am, hopefully not for long." I could imagine the look on his face. He would pull his shoulders back making his shoulders look broad, and he would tilt his head. He did that when ever he was trying to flirt.

"I'll be there in a minute," I hung up the phone and ran back to the car. My anxiety started to turn to excitement as I backed out. I enjoyed being around Tim.

In their driveway I put on a little make up and I ran my fingers through my hair trying to look at least a little presentable. I walked up the door and walked in.

"Right on time," Tim smiled at me handing me a beer and leading me to his room.

"Ah, you're perfect!" I kissed his hand that was on my shoulder.

"So where were you last night? Darry called here looking for you!" He pulled me onto the bed with him.

"I made an ever so graceful sneak out of my window to get away before the principal called Darry to tell him what happened between Curly and I. Where is Curly?" I hoped he wasn't going ask many questions. "Looking back I think it would have been better for me to have stayed though."

"You don't have to worry, I took care of him. I don't want anyone causing trouble for my girl." _Your_ girl, I thought to myself. I didn't know if I liked how that sounded.

"You didn't kill him or kick him out did you?" I didn't want to be what came between them.

"No, nothing like that, don't worry," he rubbed my shoulders. "You feel okay?" "Much better now," I leaned my head back. He started to kiss me and pull off my shirt, "have you seen my sister?" He asked me out of the blue.

"Please tell me you don't think about your sister during sex with me." I was half kidding and half not.

"Trust me I don't, but I haven't seen her in two days and if she isn't with you, then I have no idea." He pulled away from me. What a buzz kill.

"If she's not in school tomorrow, I'll find her. I'll have tons of time to find her seeing as I'm suspended and unemployed." I was partially impressed that he was worried about her, that was nice.

"Deal," he seemed more focused and carried on.

We laid there in silence once he was done. I had slept with a couple guys other than Tim, none of which I was attracted too, but it was better with him. I don't know if it was because he was better, or if it was better when you were interested in the person.

"I'm not going to offer you food because the last time I did that you left mad. So, how about you spend the night?" He gambled, I knew he knew I wouldn't really stay.

"As much as I would rather stay here than go home, I figure that would not be wise." I told him the truth.

"Why's that? No one would know! Is it because of Curly, honestly he's never going to bother you again." Even though what Tim said made me feel better, I also partially did not believe him. What could he have done to Curly to make sure that he never bothers me again. Because I didn't even know what happened to cause such bad blood between the two of us!

"I told Darry today that I was suspended." I told him flatly.

"So what, he grounded you? Can he do that?" Tim was still laying on his stomach I could hardly hear him.

"No, but he was so apathetic about it. He honestly didn't care. He just told me to tell him the next time I screw up so he won't hear about it from the principal." I still couldn't get over Darry's reaction.

"Well see you're off the hook." He rolled over on his back and looked at me. He didn't get it, at all.

"Yeah, you're right, I just feel like I let him down. But, I know it will all blow over. I can't tell if he knows that I'm fired or not. I can't tell if everyone knows or not."

"You worry too much what other people think. You need to just say, 'fuck it' and move on with your life." Tim's advice wasn't all useless, I knew that there was some truth to what he said.

"That's what makes us different Tim, I care." I kissed his head as I put on my bra.

"That, and your smoking hot body, is what attracts me to you." Tim made me blush. I know every girl should want a guy who loves things other than looks, but truthfully, I loved that Tim found me attractive.

"What can you do to prove that you don't just say that to all the girls that come in and out of your life?" I looked at him skeptically.

"Come here, let me show you," he challenged me. I took his bait, and wound back up on top of him.

"You know you're really getting good at this," he complimented.

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself." That was an understatement he was really good. Still, I had to get up to leave.

"How do I know that you don't only come here for sex?" Tim threw me for a hoop. How would I answer that.

"Hm, you don't do you? I'll guess you'll have to keep me around long enough to find that one out on your own." I flashed my eyelashes at him.

"I may just have to do that," He playfully spanked me as I looked at myself in the mirror. I pulled open his window and grabbed my bag.

"When are you going to tell my sister?" Tim hadn't gotten up yet.

"When are you going to tell my brother?"

"I'm not."

"Exactly, don't make this more serious than it is just yet. I'm not sure anyone would take that well right now."

"You're probably right." He told me as I was lifting myself out the window.

"I'm always right," I told him from the ground. I wasn't sure if he heard me or not but I walked back to my car feel 10x better than I did when I left.


	31. Chapter 31

Xxxxx

"What do you think happened?" Pony asked me.

"I'm sure nothing, that was a two minute conversation and we didn't hear any yelling!" I tried to make him smile. Truthfully I didn't know.

"He's probably giving her the silent treatment, trying to make her feel bad." Pony guessed.

"Nah, I don't think he'd do that pal. He really wants what's best ya know?"

"Mhm, easy for you to say you two don't argue."

"Aw come on Pone don't start." I pleaded.

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely.

"I know," I playfully kicked his shin. "Do you have a lot of work tonight?"

"It's not too bad."

"We'll that's good. Wish I could help." I told him truthfully, but I knew there was no point in even trying.

"You should just relax, you worked all day anyway." Pony reminded me.

"But I have tomorrow off!" He sang. "I was going to try to help Mary out with cleaning and laundry, but this place looks amazing. I do not know how she does it!"

"I wonder that a lot too," Pony looked at me before going to get his books. Darry came out of the shower looking tired. He laid down on the couch where Pony had previously been sitting.

"Tough day at the office?" I smiled because neither of Darry's jobs gave him an office.

"You could say that," he let out loud sigh. I looked to see where Pony was before I started to ask about Mary, but I guess he sensed it too because he cut me off.

"I don't know anything little buddy, just that she's suspended for two days. That's all."

"Did you not ask?" I did not understand.

"No, I only want to know what I need to know. Apparently girls are different than boys, and I was told I needed to give her space and let her work it out. She didn't want me to know."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I thought that was a horrible idea.

"No pal, I don't but, we'll have to let it play out okay?" He had his eyes closed and I knew at least for now I needed to let it go.

"The soup Mary made was real good Darry, don't you want some?" I was a little worried about him.

"Ya know, I think I'll take some to my room. Will you make sure Pony gets his work done?" He looked back to me before leaving to the other room.

"No problem." I knew Pony would do his work I wouldn't even have to say anything. Pony liked school, he didn't usually mind doing his work.

"Soda," Steve opened the door to own house quicker than usual.

"What's up buddy?" I wondered what he was up to.

"Evie just told me something, and I don't know if you want me to tell you or not." Obviously him saying that was going to make me curious.

"What's it about?" I had a feeling I knew who it was about, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Sandy." He looked at me.

"What is it?"

"She's leaving tomorrow, but her parents are letting her go over to say bye to Evie, Evie said she'd keep her there until you got there. If that's what you want to do." Steve spoke so fast I hardly understood. Mary walked in as I was thinking about what to say. The look she had on her face made me know she knew what we were talking about, but she didn't say anything.

"Did she say she wanted to see me?" I knew that I sounded too hopeful.

"No, she wouldn't know you were coming. You could yell at her tell her how messed up she is!" Steve was being a protective friend, and I knew it would be easier to be mad at her, I just wasn't at that point!

"You could get some closure, when's the next time you'll see her ya know?" Mary suggested. She had a valid point.

"Okay, let's go," I stood up not knowing entirely how I felt.

"Can you follow me there, I'll probably stay with Evie after, she's been awfully upset about Sandy leaving."

"Yeah," I hesitated a little. It wasn't that I couldn't drive I was just kinda worried.

"I can drive, I'll wait in the car if you want." Mary offered. I was a little surprised she offered, and I was even more surprised I said yes so fast. It probably would have been better for me to drive myself and just pull over if I was an emotional wreck. "Let me just leave Darry a note." She told me writing on a piece of old news paper.

"look at you all responsible," Steve smirked.

"I feel like I'm on thin ice, couldn't hurt right?" She followed us out the door. "I'll follow you," She told Steve getting in the truck.

Either we were silent on the drive, or I was too nervous to listen, all I remember her saying was good luck as I closed the door. Steve walked in with me, and as soon as we go in to the room it became very clear she didn't want to see me.

"Soda!" She looked flustered "Did you tell him I was here!" She looked to Evie.

"Come on, let's give them some privacy," Steve pulled Evie out. I could tell they both had been crying.

"I'm sorry if you didn't want to see me, I just couldn't let you leave with out saying good bye!" I tried to be charming.

"Soda," she sighed.

"How could you leave with out saying good bye? Do I mean nothing to you?" I was already about to cry, I knew this was not going to go well.

"You do, you mean so much to me that's why I didn't want to say bye, I knew it would be too hard!" Her eyes watered.

"Then don't Sandy! Don't let your parents do this! Move out, we can get a place, I'll help you with the baby! I'd do anything for you, don't you know I love you?" I reach for her hand. She pushed me away.

"I can't do that Soda, my parents would disown me, and we can't raise a baby together, you're not the father!" She was telling me what I already knew, but I didn't know why that had to mean anything.

"Who is? Who is the father." I didn't want to know earlier, I hadn't even thought about it until now.

"I'm not telling anyone. It wouldn't do anyone any good knowing." She rubbed her eyes.

"How long have you known you're pregnant?" I thought I could almost see the baby bump.

"Two months."

"You knew you were pregnant when we had sex, and when you told me you loved me. Why, why would you do that?" I was now crying angry tears.

"Because I thought I wanted you to be the father!" She full fledge was balling now.

"Sandy I will! I will be the father! We can tell people it is mine!" I grabbed her shoulders feeling excitement for a brief moment.

"We can't! Damn it Soda stop living in a fantasy! I'm 16 I'm having a baby not playing house!"

"I love you! Do you love me enough to stay?" I got on my knees.

"Love had nothing to do with it," she broke my heart.

"It should." I could taste the tears running into my mouth.

"You need to listen to me. This is what is happening. I am going to Florida until I deliver this baby. Then I am giving it up for adoption. My parents are telling people that I'm ill and going away for treatment." She blew her nose into a torn tissue before looking at me. "There is nothing you can say that will change this Soda, please don't make it any harder."

"I'll wait for you to come back. 7 month isn't that long!" I started to have hope again.

"I'm never coming back Soda. You'll never see me again," she too kneeled down on the ground and cried with me. I decided to give it one more try.

"Let's run away."

"You have a family, you can't abandon them!" She swatted my hand.

"I want you to be apart of my family."

"I'm so sorry Soda, I wish I never would have met you, because then I would have never hurt you," she kissed my cheek and walked out.

"Sandy!" I cried out, but she was already gone. I didn't know what to do. I felt so devastated.

Mary appeared eventually, and pulled me off the floor. "Come on, she instructed. I know where we can go where no one will know you." Again, in the car we were either silent or I wasn't contributing to the conversation.

We pulled into the parking lot and she told me she'd be right back. She went inside and came back a few minutes later.

Xxxxxx

"Hey," I smiled walking up to the bartender. The bar was completely dead, like last time,

"Hey, yourself." He paid me little attention. Under normal circumstances I may have been offended, but right now I couldn't have cared less.

"My brother's gonna come in here, and he's fresh off of a break up from hell, so we're drinking until I'm actually broke," I cleared the money out of my pocket on the table. "That okay?"

"What ever you want." He raised an eye brow. I went back outside and got Soda, I knew he didn't really like to drink, but at the same time I thought this could help.

"Drinks are on me," I told him as he sat in the booth. He wasn't crying anymore, but he looked like he could at any second.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asked. When Soda had a blank look on his face I turned back around to the bartender, "anything strong." He nodded with out saying a word. He returned quickly after.

"Here, it'll make you feel better." I slid it to him.

"Can it make me forget the last year of my life?" Soda asked weakly.

"No, but it can make you feel no pain for tonight." I knew that for a fact.

"What can I do to forget Sandy? She said she wished she'd never met me, maybe I wish the same thing," Soda took a sip and crinkled up his face.

"It's a part of you now, you know? Just like Mom and Dad, just because when they died they caused us a lot of pain does not mean it takes away the memories."

"I wish it would, it hurts so bad," he continued to drink.

"I know you feel that way now." I rubbed his arm.

As we sat at the bar it took Soda one drink to stop crying, two drinks to get angry, and on the third one he was slurring and stumbled something awful.

"I think we should go Soda," I stood up.

"I don't want too!" He objected, but I pulled him up. He stumbled into me and we both about fell onto the floor. The bartender walked over and helped me get Soda into the car. I bet if it was just me at the bar I could have really got him talking. He wasn't so horrible looking, and I bet his tough guy attitude was just a cover.

"Here, he's a light weight you didn't use it all," He tried to hand the money.

"Keep it," I told him letting out a sigh as I turned on the car.

"It's going to get better I promise," I told him even though I didn't know if it were true. How could anyone truly know how things would turn out?  
>It didn't take long to get back home, and as I was getting closer I was wondering what I was going to do with Soda. I figured I'd just get him to crash in my room.<p>

I lead him inside he managed to bump into the side table knocking over the lamp. I knew really fast that it was only a matter of seconds until Darry came out maybe even Pony, but Pony tended to be a deep sleeper.

"Come on Soda shhh," I pulled him towards my room.

"I offered to run away with her," he put his hand on my shoulder making me have to stop moving.

"I'm sorry Soda," was all I knew to say.

"I told her I would be the father to the baby!" He shouted instantly Darry's door opened.

"What is going on!" Darry looked from Soda to me.

"Sandy's gone!" Soda threw his hands in the air.

"He went to say bye to Sandy," I filled him in as I pulled him toward my room. Darry stabilized him and helped him onto my bed.

"Soda, tomorrow might not be any better, maybe not even next week or next month, but you aren't alone you know?" I kissed his forehead closing the door behind me and Darry.

"What the hell was that?" Darry was talking in a hushed voice.

"Steve came in and told Soda that Sandy was leaving if he wanted to come say bye I drove him because Steve was going to stay with Evie. He was really upset when we left, so we stopped by a bar, he only had three drinks. He is such a lightweight." I started to walk to the kitchen but Darry caught my arm. His grip actually hurt a little.

"So your bright idea was to get him drunk?" He looked so angry I didn't even understand.

"I wasn't drinking I was watching him, I wasn't going to let anything happen. I just wanted to help him relax."

"I'm going to have to deal with your mess again Mary, honestly what next? Are you going to take Pony to a strip club? He is you little brother you should have known better," his grip on my wrist tightened I started to feel my heart race. "He is your little brother you should not be taking him to bars!" He let go of my arm.

"I knew what I was doing Darry!" I fought back.

"Did you? Because you were out at night with out telling me where you were getting Soda drunk. Why don't you just call up the social worker and ask her to send them to a home!" His face was red.

"Darry I left you a note, I didn't mean to upset you I am sorry! He isn't working tomorrow I didn't see the harm in it!"

"I'm so sick of you sorry ass excuses, you can't just do what ever the hell you want you know!" He raised his voice.

"Darry please calm down!" I pleaded, the next thing I knew Darry's hand slapped me across the face. It caught me so off guard I didn't even know what to say. I could taste blood though.

"Just get out of my sight," He turned back around and went to his room. I stood there in complete awe not knowing what to do, then I heard Pony. That's all it took for me to do a complete 360.

"Mary, please don't leave us." He looked so scared. I thought about Pony a lot, how he was feeling how hard it must be on him. Four years was not really a huge age gap between the two of us, but when I thought about what I was like when I was his age I couldn't imagine what it must be like for him. Life is hard enough with out your parents being dead. I missed them and everything, but my life wasn't going anywhere anyway. But Pony's, he was, he was going somewhere.

"Pony," I gasped as he came out. He looked so afraid. "I'm not going anywhere pal," I tried to reassure him. "Go on back to bed, I'll be here in the morning I promise."

"Mary, you're bleeding," he told me. I hadn't even really noticed. I wasn't hurting, Darry didn't physically hurt me he just scared me. I didn't see anything like that coming.

"I'm okay, please Pony, go to bed." Reluctantly he listened and went back to his room.

I sat down on the couch and reached for the phone, after it rang several times I heard a muffled hello. "Can you come over?"

Xxxxxxxxx

I just struck my little sister, after accusing her of being a bad role model, but she made me so angry, what was going on with her?

I didn't know what to do. I was still too mad to talk to her.

My heart pounded in my chest as I thought about it. What was I going to do now?

Xxxxx

I didn't even knock I just walked straight in, I figured no one would be awake but Mary.

"Hey," I said softly seeing her on the couch. I knew better than to ask her if she was okay, I knew she wasn't. I also knew better than to ask her what happened because I knew she wouldn't tell me. So instead I sat beside her on the couch. She leaned into me and started to cry softly. I stroked her knotted hair and placed my arm around her. It wasn't an uncontrolled sob like the other night at the gym, this was more of a casual tears falling of her cheeks, I wouldn't have even known she was crying if I didn't feel it through it through my shirt. Neither of us slept a wink, and 6am got here quick. When I say not a wink, I honestly mean not even for a second. I knew she never slept because her fingers circled a hole in my pants leg the entire night.

"I need to wake up Pony," she told me turning on the lights.

"Hey," I grabbed her arm as she left."She stopped and turned about around to face me. I used the sleeve of my shirt to try to get some of the dried blood off her lip, but I wasn't all that successful. She didn't even flinch when I touched it. I wondered how she was so tough. "Okay," I agreed watching her walk to Pony's room. It didn't take her long to come back in the living room. She looked really bad, her lip was busted and bruised, you could easily tell she had not slept. The bags under her eyes were so big and dark she looked like a skeleton in her face. I wondered if I looked as bad too. I had been up with her the last two night, I was feeling a little tired too. She went into the kitchen to start making some breakfast, and I just had a feeling that she didn't want me to try to help.

It surprised me how early Steve came in.

"Hey," I greeted him. He seemed surprised to see me, he looked over at me for a long second before saying anything.

"How's Soda?" Steve asked Mary.

"Probably feeling no pain getting the best sleep of his life."

"What does that me?" Steve gently reached for Mary's arm to get her attention.

"What happened to your face?" He's face was priceless.

"Nothing what are you talking about?" Mary played dumb. I guess I didn't get it all. "Travis will you," she motioned to the eggs.

"What happened?" He asked me when she was gone.

"She was like that when I got here, and I have no idea what happened."

"It looks worse than it is, it's nothing." She told him as she came back out. I assumed she washed her face and put on make up because she did look better. "After we left Sandy's I took Soda to a bar. He only had three drinks, but he was pretty gone when we got back last night."

"That was probably a good idea, sorry I wasn't there," Steve grinned.

"How's Evie?"

"She's been better, but she'll be okay now that Sandy's gone. Out of sight out of mind." Steve seemed confident, I was not sure it worked that way. I thought I heard Darry moving around, and I figured it would not be long until Two-bit and Dally showed up, and I didn't really think them asking a bunch of questions would do anyone good, so I turned to Mary. " I think I'll head out, I'll be back in a couple hours, okay?" The look on her face let me know really fast that she was not okay with that. "You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I don't really have anywhere to go." I added real fast, and I saw the relief in her eyes, it didn't last long though, Darry walked into the kitchen and I could sense there was something going on.

About that time Two-bit walked in with Johnny and Dally.

"How's it going Curtis' and extras," Two-bit patted Steve's back. Steve took a swing at him but Two-bit was fast. "Travis, good to see you bright and early!" Two-bit spotted me, "Did you have a sleep over?" He whispered to me winking.

"Hey Pony, how'd you sleep?" Mary ignored Two-bit.

"Okay I guess," he sat at the table beside Darry and started eating.

"I assume you are feeling better now that you are up and adam." Two-bit circled Mary.

"Yeah, I heard you nearly passed out leaving the principals office!" Dally kidded. Still Mary ignored them.

"Oh she passed out hard core, we had to put her in the shower to get the fever down!" Two-bit took it too far as usual. "I thought we were gonna have to hall her ass to the hospital!" When Two-bit said that I looked over to Darry to see if he sparked a reaction, but if he did I didn't notice it.

"You put her in the shower?" Steve had a wide ass grin on his.

"I didn't know you were sick Mary!" Pony seemed surprised

"Both of you shut up," Mary had a bit of a bite in her tone, I thought they might listen, but Two-bit took it one step too far.

"Oh take it as a compliment, you look better, although you are wearing the same clothes as you were yesterday," Two-bit got up close to Mary. "And that busted lip wasn't there when I left either!" Two-bit seemed proud of himself.

"Dang, Mary, that's tuff, what's the story, chick on chick fight, was it hot?" Dally chimed in.

"No nothing like that, some ass hole took a cheap shot is all." Mary said casually as Darry's food literally flew out of his mouth. Pony had a grin on his face that helped me narrow down who I thought was involved in this drama.

"Did you hit the bitch back?" Dally did not seem impressed.

"Nah, wasn't worth my time. Now go on, y'all are going to be late. Lunch is in the fridge," Mary glanced to me and I smiled back at her.

"Mary successfully got Soda drunk lastnight." Steve told everyone.

"How, I have been trying to do that for years!" Two-bit seemed insulted.

"Good for you, he probably needed it!" She got Dally's approval.

"The problem is how long is he going to sleep now, and what is he going to feel like when he gets up?" Steve added. He was a good friend to be so worried.

"Oh he'll be fine it builds character." Dally dismissed him.

"Yeah, just look at me, I'm full of character!" Two-bit boasted. I could see steam rising in Darry. I looked stared trying not to be obvious.

"Pony come straight home afterschool, and start on your homework okay, I'll help you with what you don't get when I get back" Darry told Pony standing up and putting the dishes in the sink.

"We should get going, I would hate be to late and stunt my learning," Two-bit said seriously but we all knew he was kidding.

"You're too far behind to catch up," Dally rolled his eyes. I found their attitudes funny, the way they all treated each other. Pony was following all of the guys out of the house, while Darry went over to the fridge. "Pony, did you grab my lunch again?" Darry asked him.

"No," Pony answered not thinking much of it.

"Oh, I didn't make you one, I didn't want to make just an other mess you would have to clean up," Mary had a quick tongue, but what was ever funnier was Dallas' reaction.

"Damn, Mar bear say it how it is!" Dally laughed. "I told you she's not as nice as you all think, I told you she tried to poison me!"

"Real mature Mary," Darry didn't pay her much attention.

"So then does that make him the ass hole with a cheap shot?" Two-bit was really enjoying the scene. I would have thought that Mary would have been embarrassed or angry, but it almost looked like she was apathetic about it.

"Wait Darry, did that!" Steve caught on, but he didn't seem like he thought it was as funny as the other two did.

"Super man lost his cool on his little sister!" Dally stopped at the door. That was like a switch for Darry, I could see the match light in his eyes.

"Alright, alright, it was an accident you don't want to have too much excitement in the morning or you'll run out by the end of the day. " I stood up walking towards the door trying to get them out. I didn't even know what I was saying or what I was doing, but I just knew the situation could get a lot more out of hand a lot faster.

"It wasn't an accident," Mary glared at me as she walked back in to the bathroom, and Darry walked out the door. I thought about wishing him a good day, but I knew that would sound weird so I just kept my mouth shut.

As Mary was showering I though about telling her about the letters I found of Darry, the over due bills, but seeing as she was already mad at him I didn't really think now was the best time. I needed to find her a job first, yes that was what I was going to do, and I had an idea how.

Xxxxxxxxx

"I decided I'm going to tell Tim," I told Travis who was sitting on the couch.

"Tell him about Angela?" He looked like he disagreed.

"Why, is that bad?" I felt my heart racing.

"Uh, no, but how is that going to make Angelia feel? She's going to find out you told her brother and then she'll find out you're with him. I don't know how girls are, if guys got knocked up it would just be easier." He was uncomfortable talking about it, and I thought that was funny.

"If guys were the ones who got pregnant then the human race would die out," I smiled walking into the kitchen. "I don't even know where she is, Tim told me he hasn't seen her, I keep thinking the longer I wait the worse it's going to be ya know?" I doubted that he knew what I meant but I figured he was my best bet.

"Let me ask you a question," he paused waiting for my response.

"Should I be nervous?" I turned away from the dishes at the sink. I had a feeling in my gut that made me think he was about to tell me something that I didn't want to hear. I could tell by looking at him face that he was trying to say it in a nice way.

"Do you see a future in you and Tim?"

"I don't believe in the future Travis. There's not point in looking past the day after tomorrow, because shit happens." I told him truthfully, I could have sugar coated it, but I didn't.

"Right, but just pretend. Is what you and Tim have worth ruining what you and Angela have? She _is_ your best friend right?" Travis was acting weird and I didn't really understand why. I started to think about what he said, was Angela truly my best friend?

"That's a complicated question." I finally answered.

"Uncomplicate it," he said simply. He had a confident look on his face that he could get to the bottom of this. I wasn't so sure.

"Okay you tell me that makes someone your best friend?" I figured he was going to list many things Angela and I were not.

"I mean it is different for girls and guys isn't it?" His question threw me off guard.

"Why would it be different?" I felt a smile spreading on my face.

"Well I have sisters you know!" He seemed offended by me laughing at him.

"Yeah who are like what 5?" I was still smiling, and still wasn't.

"8 and 12 now, and let me tell you their friends are not like mine. There's girl code and stuff you know?" He started to relax a little more, I decided to stay away from talking about his sisters.

"Yeah, but that's just the thing, Angela and I aren't like that." I couldn't explain it, I was starting to get annoyed too because usually he understood with out me having to tell him.

"Do you consider her a friend?" I could tell Travis knew I was short tempered, he got up and came over to help me dry.

"Honestly we haven't been friends for that long, we didn't really have much in common before I started going out which was," I started then stopped. I don't know what made it so hard to say out loud, its not like I didn't know it happened. It's not like I was struggling with accepting it, I accepted it rather quickly after it happened.

"Your parents died," Travis filled in. It was odd though because he didn't say it with a sad way, or he didn't look at me like he was expecting me to start crying or he didn't try to make me feel better. That was new. I liked it.

"Yeah, so I don't think we would be friends they hadn't died, so then are we really friends?" Saying it out loud I realized it proably sounded petty so I tried to make it sound better, "If I didn't go out with her we wouldn't really have anything in common."

"I don't know if you can use the argument 'if my parents weren't dead' because if you think about it if your parents weren't dead you wouldn't be with Tim anyway probably right?" He had a good point.

"Yeah, I guess." I started to think about how different my life would be if my parents weren't dead. They had only been gone 7 weeks now, but my life had changed so much I really don't even think much about what it was like before they were dead.

"Are you thinking about telling people about you and Tim?"

"Not really telling people, but not really hiding it." I figured that didn't make sense, but I didn't really feel like explaining it. I was so tired.

"Can I tell you what I think?" Travis stopped drying and looked at me.

"Please, just tell me what's on your mind!" I couldn't stand him being so weird.

"I think yours and Tim's relationship is strictly physical. I think the sneaking around and having it be a secret is half of the fun. I don't see him as the kind of guy who is going to come over here at 2am when your scared of Darry. I don't think he is going to step up and be the guy you deserve. If Angela is a good friend I would hate to see you end that friendship for Tim and then have him end up being in left field. Especially when Angela is about to have a baby, she'll need you." I understood was Travis was saying, and I wasn't even really offended by it, because I knew he was right.

"Well let me tell you what I think," I looked over to him boosting myself up on the counter.

"Please do," Travis also sat on the other side of the sink and looked at me eagerly.

"I think what attracts me to Tim is that he doesn't need me. It's easy with him, he's fun, he knows me, I can be me! I don't have to worry about him, because I know him. There aren't any standards or expectations. I don't want to loose Angela, but I can't help but feel that she only likes me because she needs me. She needs to copy my homework, she needs to sleep a hang over off at my house, and that worked when I needed her to take me out, and to help me hide it all from Darry but now," I paused not truly knowing where I was going with it.

"But now you have Tim for that." He finished, and he was pretty spot on. "Let me ask you this, is he still going to be the one you want to hang out with in 6, 9, 12, months? I guess you have been seeing him for a little while now, but can you see long enough term to end a longer friendship? Can you afford that? People are going to give you hell for being with Tim, are you ready for that?"

"Honestly, Travis, I can't see things getting worse than they are right now. I'm unemployed, suspended, my brother was so mad he tried to take off my face, my little brother saw it, my middle brother is sleeping off a hang over in my bed, I'm sleeping with my pregnant best friend's brother, and he doesn't know she's pregnant, and I feel like shit all the time. If people gave me a hard time I honestly think I would just add it to the list." I knew I was rambling and complaining and awful lot, but I figured Travis wouldn't care.

"Will any of that change by telling Tim? Or will any of that change by telling Angela?" Travis raised a good point nothing was connected, fixing one part would not fix the others.

"I want to tell him, worst case scenario he flips a shit and I loose him and Angela, add it to the list, I'll move on and I'll still have you." I gave Travis a weak smile. He returned my smile and reached over the sink and put his hand on my knee.

"If that's what you want to do I support you, why don't you go tell him, and I have one place I need to go. Then let's meet back up here in 2 hours, because I need to show you something," Travis jumped down.

"Okay," I agreed shaking my head.

"Promise me that no matter how bad you feel, or how tired you are that you will still come with me, okay?" Travis held my hand. I looked at him for a second trying to figure out what was going on.

"Was it too much of me to ask you to come over here last night? Was that weird, did I cross a line?" I couldn't think of what else it could be, I hadn't felt weird around him ever, not even when I first met him.

"What, no, not even a little I'm glad you did. I'm just sorry that I didn't help much, don't take this the wrong way Mar, but you look so tired."

I smiled a little when he said that, I'm sure I looked as bad as I felt, but I learned form my mom a long time ago that if you act like your okay even when your not you can trick your body into thinking that your okay.

"Its been a long time since I felt okay," I sighed looking at him.

"Worrying about other people is exhausting, you've been doing an awful lot of worrying for an awful long time," he slid off the counter with his hand still on my knee.

"Yeah, but I don't see that changing any time soon, do you?" I raised an eye brow wondering what he was gonna say to that. He gave me a puzzled look like he didn't really know either, so he changed the subject.

"Run to lover boy, break the news to him, figure out where ya'll stand, then lets meet back here at 10, okay?" He really was serious about where ever it was he wanted to take me.

"It's a plan," I agree getting of the counter grabbing the keys and a piece of paper to leave Soda a note.

"Good luck!" He smiled at me.

"Thanks," I laughed as he walked toward the door. "Travis," I stopped him, he turned around and looked at me.

"Thanks for being my super man," I followed him out. He kissed the top of my head as I got into the truck. That was the thing with Travis, I didn't know what I would do with out him, and I could sleep on the couch or on the floor in the gym and not feel tempted or attracted to him. He could hold my hand or kiss my head and it was not passionate. I wouldn't say he was like my brother because my relationship with my brothers was tiresome but it was like nothing I had ever had.

Xxxxxxx

I already finished the next chapter, it is my favorite one yet finally reveling some information on Travis, but I really want to what everyone is thinking? What don't you like? What do you like? Do you like any of it?


	32. Chapter 32

As I was driving down the road I felt a lot of anxiety. I was worried if I was doing the right thing or not. I was worried Mary would find out and be upset. When she was upset with me about not telling her I was in the army it felt like a dagger in my back. I also knew she needed a job more than she knew she needed a job, and I knew I could get her this one. I also knew it would not be easy to get him to hire her, and I also knew she would not easily take the job. Trying to be brave I put the old car in park and got out of the car walking up to the gym. I used the front door this time instead of using my key to walk in the side. Once I walked in I noticed that there were about 15 kids on various equipment in the gym. I watched them amazed at what they could do. It's amazed me to think that I use to be able to do it too.

It didn't take long until I saw him, I nodded my head at him, and it was like I was 13 again.

"Travis, always a pleasure," he walked over and shook my hand. I smiled at him taking his hand as he pulled me into a hug. "You can't stay away can you, I saw you with your lady friend the other night," he nudged me.

"That's who I came here to talk to you about actually," I figured there was no reason to beat around the bush, but to come right out an ask him.

"That's my best friend Mary, she's saved my life sir." I decided to be bold, so just open up and tell him the truth.

His face softened when I said that, so I decided to slow down. I didn't want to upset him just yet.

"When Andy told me you moved down here and opened a gymnastic studio I thought you lost your mind!" I laughed thinking about that conversation, he did too, "Gymnastic in Oklahoma, hell I didn't even know where Oklahoma was. But you know what he told me?" I put my arms on the balance beam and looked away from him. It hurt to talk about him in past tense like that. "He told me that the ones that were really going to make it would follow you here. As I look at what you've done, he was right. He would probably have a heart attack if he heard me admit that that he was right." I shook my head. As I talked to him I understood why people said their hearts could break, I could feel mine.

"It's a shame he never saw it," was all he said.

"Sir, you don't owe me anything, and I can't imagine how you even get out of the beds in the morning, but I came here for a purpose, and I think that I have found it." I tired to be strong like the army taught me, but it was hard to prevent the shake from my voice.

"You never did tell me why you were here, I figured it was to pay respects to my son. I thought you had left because I didn't see you for a while, but I hoped you wouldn't leave with out saying good bye, but I remembered what my son told me when he joined with you. He said he could be gone at any second with out any warning. So I thought you maybe went back, then I saw you here with your lady friend, and I didn't know if I was relieved you were alive or mad you'd been here and didn't tell me."

"I had no where else to go, and I figured since Andy followed me to California I could follow him to Tulsa," I squinted when I said Tulsa, it sounded so unnatural.

"Yeah, and that girl has kept you here. Not my son." He assumed.

"You're right, but it's not what you are thinking. She's going through the same thing sorta, her parents were killed in a car accident she lives with her older brother and takes care of her little brothers now, she's a Curtis." I said her last name assuming he would know who she was.

"I heard about that, tragic story, but son, I'm not sure I understand what you want me to do. If you have some idea in your head that I'm going to talk to her and help her heal, then you best just be on your way." He was starting to get angry so I decided to hurry up.

"She's worked at the diner for some time now, but she recently found her self unemployed and she needs a job bad." I worried I should have told him that she was fired.

"What kind of job can I give her here, son," he did not seem convinced.

"Just have her clean up and assist you in what ever way. She did gymnastics when she was younger. She's the hardest worker I have ever met, you won't be sorry." I tried to sell Mary the best I could in as little words as possible.

"I don't have much spare money to hire someone to do a job I can do myself." He was not buying my act, so I decided to take my last try.

"What ever you can't give I will pay you to pay her. It'll be coming from you, she can never know that I did it." I gave him an offered I hoped he could not refuse.

"You must really love this girl," he looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"I held Andy in my arms Mr. Grayson." I told him as I felt a hot hear burning my eye. I don't know why I fought it so hard. Men cried in Vietnam, and they didn't look bad doing it. "He told me to come back to Oklahoma with him. Because once you join the army you don't have a home any more sir. He just wanted me to bring him to you, and I did. I think he brought me here to meet Mary sir, because she saved my life. She has given me the strength to go back with out Andy. A day I dread more than death itself. Because I never would have made it back with out him, and I wish it was me and not him. I wish it every damn day sir." I paused, but I knew I left him speechless.

"I'd never tell you what it is like over there, you would never believe me if I did. I'll leave it at I'm lucky to be here, and I don't think that luck happens twice. I need to leave here knowing she's going to be okay when I don't come back." I wasn't afraid of dying, sometimes it worried me that I wasn't afraid of drying, your greatest fear was your greatest weakness though, so maybe I did have the right mentality. Mr. Grayson had a serious look on his face we stood there looking at each other for what felt like eternity, I wish I knew something better to say.

"Have you talked to your parents son?" His words suffocated me. "Ryan told me what happened and Son, I would have done the thing you did, hell I never would have suspected." He was giving me that look Mary always talked about.

"When did he tell you that?" I was appalled, that was so unlike Ryan.

"When he left and went to join you in California, now don't be mad, he did it so I wouldn't wonder. No father wants to hear that there son if going of to war, he was all I had! He did it for closure." I understood what he was saying I just could not believe it. "I know why you wouldn't ever want to go home again, why you feel like you don't owe any of them anything, but let me tell you hearing that your sons dead will kill apart of them, especially if they don't even know you enlisted. Not even they deserve that." I couldn't believe what he was telling me. He had a nerve telling me that. I thought about leaving clearly he did not understand, but I kept thinking about Mary.

"With all do respect _sir_," I tried to remember what the army taught me.

"Don't you all do respect, and sir me, Travis. I've known you since you were big enough to walk over to my house!" He interrupted me.

"My father tried to kill me himself, he would probably be relieved to hear that I was dead. You weren't there for 17 years you don't know." I told him coldly, I probably should have felt bad but I didn't. "I owe more to you than I do to them, and Mr. Grayson that is why I am here, because I need your help, for Mary. You know I wouldn't ask for a hand out if I had any other option."

"Your right, you would never even take seconds at dinner," he smiled at me. "If she's half of the person you are Travis, there is a place for her here." He stuck his hand out for me to shake it. With that I pulled out my wallet and gave him the money I had been gathering.

"I could never thank you enough," I put the money in his hand and shook it. I could tell by looking at him that he wanted to say something else, but I also knew I probably didn't want to hear it.

"I'm sorry at the way things ended up. I wish you could have been out there still," he pointed to the people training. "I wish I would have known your dad was the real reason you quit, I always thought it was because you out grew it like Ryan did. I wish you wouldn't have had to run away to war," he started to choke up, and I cut in.

"The only regret I have is dragging your son into it with me, sir, he deserved better, not me," that burning feeling I had in my eyes was back. I knew better than to blink.

"You need to let go of that guilt. It's not doing anyone any good. You were his best friend and he wanted to go. Hell son, if he didn't enlist with you they would just drafted him later. I'm glad you were with him, I glad you came back here, I'm glad you met that girl. And I hope like hell, things go better next time and you are not in harms way. I hope you come back. Don't be a hero and do something stupid ya hear me? Keep your head down and your mouth shut and get your ass back here in one piece. That's an order," He pulled me into a hugI wasn't sure if I felt better or not.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," I smiled walking in to his house. It wasn't even a fake or forced smile that I was so use to. I was excited to see him.

"Look at you getting bold, not even calling to see who is here," he returned an even bigger smile and kissed me.

"Well, I had a feeling Angela wasn't back and you told me not to worry about Curly, and I decided to trust you," I winked at him and he picked me up.

"I think that was a wise decision, does that mean we can have sex anywhere now?" He raised his eyebrows at me pulling off my shirt.

"Yes, but first I think I should tell you something." I didn't want to but I knew I should.

"Aw shit," he thought he knew where this was going, he was going to be in for a surprise.

"Let me ask you a question, what am I to you? Because that will make up my mind if I have to tell you or not." He put me down but he was looking at my boobs because I didn't put on my shirt. I guess it was true that boobs are boobs, and if they are little guys still like to look at them.

"What is the right answer here? Which answer leads us to sex?" I didn't really blame him, he had no way of knowing what I was going to say.

"Listen trust me, there is nothing I would rather do than sleep with you, but you told me that one of the reasons you are attracted to me is because I care, well Tim," I looked at him waiting.

"Christ Curtis, spit it out," he grabbed my waist. Considering the circumstance I decided not to correct him for calling me by my last name.

"Over a month ago Angela came to my house really drunk she stayed for a couple days and while she was there she told me that she thinks that she was raped." I told him like I practices and then I waited for a reaction before I continued. "I didn't tell you because Angela is my best friend, and it's girl code but as me and you got more serious I realized if tables were turned I would want you to tell me if one of my brothers were pregnant." I held my breath and waited.

"She's pregnant?" Was as he said.

"The day before yesterday we took two tests, and I have not seen her since then. I have some ideas on where she might be, I don't think she went far, but I thought I should tell you.

"How the hell did this happen?" He seemed in complete shock. He kept holding on to my waist and just started at me. It didn't feel like he was seeing me when he was staring at me, it was like I could see the wheels turning in his head trying to process what I just told him.

"Do you just want me to leave?" I was so scared about what he was going to say next.

He looked at me for a minute and let go of my waist standing up. He put his hand on my cheek, I flinched at first not understanding what was going to happen.

"Jesus kid, what did you think I was going to do huh? What kind of guy do you think I am?" He kissed my forehead.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked pathetically.

"Wait for her to tell me." He didn't seem as worked up as I would have suspected.

"I don't think she's planning on telling you babe," I told him sitting on the couch. I was a little surprised that he wasn't more angry. I thought he'd be ready to go beat someone to hell, and not stop until he found whoever it was who hurt his sister. I thought he wouldn't stop until her found her.

"She'll tell me alright," he acted like he wanted to say something but he didn't. He just stood there looking my direction, but I knew he wasn't looking at me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I need to tell you something," Travis opened the door to our house came up to Mary quickly. She heard her turn around, and although I couldn't see her I'm sure she was giving him a puzzled look.

"Hey, I was starting to think you were standing me up, I'm ready to go to the secret destination." I had my back against the wall in the hallway, I was going to go to the bathroom, but I figured that I would wait. I typically did not eavesdrop, but I had a feeling this was going to be interesting.

"You've actually already been here, but listen Mary," he paused.

"Uho, this doesn't sound good."

"Do you know why you're my best friend?" He asked her, but I figured it was rhetorical because she didn't answer. "Because you knew I had a story, and although I kept pressing you for yours you never pressed me for mine. You pretty much opened me up to your life not expecting anything in return. I am so grateful for that because you replaced a void that was missing inside of me." I saw Mary push up onto the counter but Travis didn't move.

"You don't have to tell me, I'll still be your best friend. Just wait until your ready." She suggested.

"When I decided to leave New York and move to join the army my best friend Ryan moved with me. His dad was moving to Tulsa to open the gymnastics studio I took you to." Travis was stumbling with his words I would have expected Mary to hug him or comfort the poor guy, but maybe that was a part of their relationship.

"Mary, Vietnam is hell. There is death everywhere, you don't even bother to make friends because who you meet at breakfast might not be at dinner. People get bloody and blown to hell, and you know what you do? Not a damn thing. It is between you and your gun to kill before you are killed. The war made people hard it made them hateful and changed everyone," Travis stopped and Mary finally spoke.

"But it didn't change Ryan."

"Yeah, Mar he stayed the same. He was always finding the good. The food was shit and he would say at least he was getting a baiting suite body. We were constantly covered in dirt and he would say it covered the blood. He would get up to watch the sun rise because he said it was the same one as back home. Hell he even believed that we were making a difference over there. But you know what happened to him?" I had a bad feeling about what happened to Ryan. "He died in an ambush when we were trying to figure out the problem 90 mm M48A3 I was under the truck and it came out of nowhere. I saw him hit the ground and he was long gone by the time I got out from under the truck." Travis had tears in his eyes but he was fighting them.

"Travis, I'm so sorry but you said it yourself death was everywhere." Mary tried to help him. I wasn't sure she was though.

"He never would have joined the army if I hadn't and he would have been under the truck if I hadn't insisted that I could fix it." I felt badly for Travis, what a horrible burden he had been carrying all along.

"You can't believe that, he probably would have just been drafted later, I heard it on the radio. At least he got to spend that time with you. He kept you from changing." Mary got off the counter and held his hands.

"That's what his dad told me today, it was the first time I talked to him since Ryan's funeral."

"You saw him today?"

"Yeah, Mary don't hate me," he let go of her hands.

"I could never hate you," she laughed.

"I went to ask for you a job." I wondered how Mary was going to respond to that, she hated having people take care of her.

"You what?" She finally said.

"Trust me when I tell you that you need a job, and you need on now." Travis had fear in his eyes. The fact that Mary could intimidate a soldier said a lot.

"I appreciate it, honest I do, but Travis I can find a job." I wondered if she was right, could she find a job? What did Travis mean she needed a job now.

"You don't even have to tell Darry you were fired, he'd never find out, you said so yourself he never went to the Diner." Travis thought he had it all figured out, and I would give the guy some credit he did pretty good.

"I'm glad you told me about your friend, and I understand why the gym is such an important place to you, but I don't know what help I would be there." Mary was trying to be nice I could tell she wanted to slap Travis.

"Mary, Ryan brought me back to Tulsa to find you. Because I died when Ryan died. I had no plans, no one who cared about me, and nowhere to go. I was waiting on the call to go back to Vietnam where I would too die. If he hadn't insisted that if anything happened to him that I bring him to his dad then I would probably be in a ditch somewhere, and not a damn person would care." He stopped for what felt like forever. I could hear my own heart beating in the silence. "Mary you have saved my life, you have given me a reason to live, and I need you to take this job because when I am gone I want you to be okay," he hand his hand against the wall supporting him so I could not see his face, but his body language displayed distress, I knew Mary saw it too.

"Travis," Mary whispered putting her hand on his back.

"Mary if I don't make it back I want you to have every opportunity to better your life, you know? I don't think you can do that if you loose your electricity, hot water, and I know you would starve before you let anyone else go hungry." I heard him cough back a tear. That was a brave man.

"When can I start?" _Thatta girl Mary_, I rooted her on in my head.

"How about Monday, you look like crap," he let out a laugh and they both embraced each other for a long hug.

"You are not going to die on me. Every day, every step, every shot, every close call, and every shitty day you think it's not worth it think of me. Because Travis, you saved me. I'm surround by people who should care about me but they don't. Darry attacked me, Soda accused me, and Pony is 12. I didn't die when my parents did, but a part of me died with every disappointment since then. And then you show up with your charm and your class and reminded me that I can have fun other ways than the bottle. So don't you die on me," she kissed his cheek.

"I won't," he assured her.

"Promise me," she pulled away.

"I promise." He didn't even hesitate.

"Okay, then let's not talk about this until we have to, until you get notice," she pulled away. They talked for a few more minutes as I kept my back against the wall, did Mary really think we didn't love her? I guess I never did apologize for treating her so badly, and what was this Darry attacking her?

I was trying to think of when it would be the best time to come around the corner, I didn't want them to know I had been listening to the whole conversation.

"Now what?" I heard Travis ask Mary.

"I should get up and do some laundry," I assumed Mary was sitting on the couch. "You know what I really need to do though? I need to go to the grocery store, I can't even remember when I went the last time, and I actually don't even know what I would make for dinner." I felt a little bad then too because I never went to the grocery store, I don't think either Mary or Darry trusted me enough to stick to the list.

"Wait for Soda to get up, he can go! You should probably rest. You'll have to go back to school tomorrow, and I can tell you're still sick." I knew Mary was probably giving Travis the look, because she hated it when people fussed over her, but I couldn't see them from where I was sitting.

"I'm not sure he's going to feel up to it," Mary laughed a little.

"Oh come on, you said it was only three drinks. I'll tell you something I can't imagine Soda tipsy." I had heard that before, Travis wasn't' the first one to say it.

"He wasn't like tipsy like when Steve and I were dancing on the tables at Bucks, it was just to knock off the edge, that's what I tried to tell Darry." _When did Mary and Steve dance on the tables? _

"Remember what you told Pony that one time he was upset about Darry coming down on him? He can't think like your brother all the time, he has to think like a parent. Would your parents have approved of you taking Soda to a bar though? I guess that's where he's coming from. I get why you did it, and I think it was a good idea, if you didn't go to bars then I never would have met you ya know?" Travis made a valid point, I wondered if Mar was going to think so.

"I know you're right, and honestly If Soda would't have knocked over the lamp Darry would have never found out. It's just hard because I thought of myself almost as an equal to Darry, as far as looking after everything, like we were a team and everything. But, lately he's been more testy, and I think that's only going to get worse. He doesn't even know the half of it, and I think it's only a matter of time. Sometimes pal, it's like a war here too." Mary's comment stung a little, I didn't really know how much more of the conversation I could take.

"I'm sure it didn't help when he struck you either," Travis added I thought for sure I must have heard him wrong. "I feel like a normal family would just talk it out, I think there's been so much chaos lately, but If I were you, I would just act like it didn't happen and let things blow over. When I told you earlier that I thought it was an accident, I knew it wasn't. I know he scared you, and I'm glad you called me, but I think you got your revenge this morning, I'm sure he's embarrassed, it's not he really hurt you ya know? I'd let it go." I was so confused on what they were talking about.

"Pony saw," Mary said plainly.

"Well that changes everything then huh?" Travis answered.

"I thought about picking him up at school to tell him not to talk about it, but then I figured a) I should just stay the hell away from the school and b) is it ever a good idea to teach my little brother not to talk about things? I guess it goes back to the whole roles ya know? We hid things from my parents all the time, but if Pony hid something from me," Mary started but Travis interrupted, "Would you care? If Pony hid something from you so well that you didn't know you needed to know, would you care?" I was wondering where Travis was going with this.

"Yeah, I think I would, because I would hope he would always talk to me. I don't think Pony would ever do anything he couldn't tell me." Mary seemed confident in her answer.

"Do you not think that Darry feels the same way? Don't you think he would want you to feel the same way? That's what I think is going on, I think he's a big macho guy who got his feelings hurt, and he didn't know how to handle it." Mary didn't answer right away.

"The difference is Pony wouldn't do the shit I do. If he did, then maybe I wouldn't want to." Mary defended.

"Why do you always do that?" Travis put his feet on the coffee table.

"Do what?"

"Talk so bad about yourself. What are you so ashamed of? Look at what you do for this family, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Why do you hate yourself?"

"Were not doing this." Mary said completely emotionless.

"Why not?"

"We're not going to start talking about death and feeling just because," Mary stopped herself.

"Just because what Mar, say it," Travis egged her on, but it wasn't in a nagging angry kind of way.

"All I meant was just because you got a little spooked about going back does not mean that we have to cover our lives stories in a couple days, we have the rest of our lives for that." Mary had a nice cover.

"I got word Mary."

"No." I felt my heart stop when he said that, I could only imagine how Mary's was.

"Nothing definite, but its coming." Mary turned her back to him and leaned over the sink. ""Travis, what's going on?" Mary stood up and looked at him. It looked like Travis wanted to bolt.

"Ladies first," Travis just sat down on the kitchen floor, Mary joined him. She bit her lip and crinkled her forehead, I could tell she was thinking.

"I just feel like I'm letting everyone down Travis, Pony is young and having to listen to your big brother as a parent is torture! He's bound to rebel, hell I rebelled and I didn't even have an excuse. Soda is too, he just turned 16, so they're allowed to screw up. To Soda Sandy leaving iseven worse than you leaving because she chose to! So his world is crashing in front of his face. Darry has huge responsibilities so he's bound to make mistakes he thought he'd be playing college ball at this point in his life , but I'm almost 18, I'll be an adult in a matter month Travis I shouldn't be contributing to the problem! Darry talked to me when he started coaching the football team, and I told him he should do it, that it would work out, then since then it's all gone to hell!" I was surprised Darry talked to Mary about that and not me.

"I don't think I can go back Mary, and I feel like such a coward for even thinking that. When I enlisted they talked about pride and how I'm making a difference, but I don't see it that way." He paused and neither or them said anything. "i've thought about going a-wall, it's not like I have anyone to disappoint, but at the same time, its not like I really have anyone to die for. But I'd rather go than have one of your brothers or someone in a position like them."

"I don't think you're a coward, you're the bravest person I know. Hey, you became apart of this family and that takes a lot of courage." She smiled and he laughed gently looking up to her."So what, you a little scared, last time you were there your best friend died, only a crazy person would be thrilled to go back, but I know you'll do the right thing, just don't over think it too much, we still have time. Let's just cross that bridge when we get to it." His hand was on her knee hand her hand was on top of his.

"I should go work out, maybe you should sleep? I'll come back and check on you around dinner okay?" He stood up off the floor.

"You were right it was an accident, Darry isn't going to do it again, you don't have to come back if you don't want to," I watched Travis pull her up off the floor.

"I know, but I want to, Mar," the way he spoke made me think that that meant more than I knew, I figured Mary knew.

She walked him over to the door and as she opened it I stood up hoping they wouldn't see me, "Mary, the only person disappointed in you is you," he kissed her cheek. "I'll pick you up at 6, well go find a good time." She stood there and watched him leave,"Maybe 4:30, I have an idea, we'll need some daylight." The second she finished she dashed to the bathroom, I thought for sure she would have seen me by now, but I guessed not because she didn't even close the door all the way and threw up in the toilette. I could see through the crack in the door that leaned up against the wall in the bathroom with her hands on her head. I didn't know what to do with all of the information that I had just heard from Mary and Travis. I didn't know if I should be upset by a lot of it or relieved that I finally heard her express emotion. I was happy that Mary and Travis worked things out, but I was worried about a lot of what both of them said. I got off the floor and walked over to the couch so she wouldn't think I had been sitting there for the last hour. As I waited on the couch I tried to put together what I was going to do. I tried to pick the part that upset me the most, but I couldn't decide what part it was. I was going to wing it, when she walked out was going to just go with my gut. When I saw her come out of the bathroom my plan went out the window.

"Soda," she seemed surprised to see me, "How are you feeling?" she walked closer to me.

"Not too bad," honestly I wasn't feeling horrible, just sluggish with a headache.

"I'm glad to hear that, can I make you something: eggs, omelet, anything?"

When she said eggs I thought I was going to toss my cookies too, but I let out a loud exhale instead. She noticed because she gave me a motherly smile, "Sorry, I'm about to run to the store, then you can have some toast." She walked back to her room before I could say anything else. While she was gone I did a little more thinking. Maybe I should just act like I didn't hear anything? If she wanted me to know I guess she would have told me, and everything they talked about was news to me, so she was doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

"Anything you need?" She came back out quickly. She walked fast and silent scared me every time.

"You sure you feel up to it? Come on Mar, just relax with me." I tried to persuade her, it wasn't working.

"Everyone will be home soon Soda, I've still got a lot to do, you relax I'll be back soon." With that she left, she didn't even look back.

xxxxxxxxxx

I hated grocery shopping more than I hated any other kind of shopping, I could never find what I was looking for, I always forgot what I came to get, and I would get home pissed. However, this grocery store experience was different. I was looking at the cereal's amazed at all the different kinds of the same stuff when I saw a familiar Curtis walking down the opposite direction. I would recognize her anywhere. She dressed like a greaser, but she didn't dress like a slut, it wasn't anything like soc's dress. She had smoking long legs, a skinny figure, and hair that was always fixed. She didn't wear as much make up as Angelia, but she did wear some. She'd left lipstick marks on me a couple times now.

"Hey pretty lady," I walked up behind her putting my hands on her waist. She made me smile when her eyes light up when she saw me.

"I never expected to see you here Shepherd," she stood on her tip toes kissing me.

"Mar, someone might see," I made the mistake of pulling away from her. She gave me a daring look with a simple response of, "so what." She got so much hotter to me just then.

"I like that," I put my hand on the back of her head and kissed her again. "How about we post pone this shopping," he raised his eye brows.

"And do what instead," She pulled back from me slightly before making the same facial expression I made early.

"What if we get lunch to go, eat in the back of the truck, and maybe one thing will lead to an other," I squeezed her waiting for a response.

"What if I finish here, you go get the food pick me up at my house, and I'm all yours until 4, then you have to bring me back because I need to make dinner," she kissed me intimately convincing me if I wasn't already before.

"It's a date." I agree spanking her and getting away briefly before she could stop me. She sure was something.


	33. Chapter 33

"Hey pretty lady," I walked up behind her putting my hands on her waist. She made me smile when her eyes light up when she saw me.

"I never expected to see you here Shepherd," she stood on her tip toes kissing me.

"Mar, someone might see," I made the mistake of pulling away from gave me a daring look with a simple response of, "so what." She got so much hotter to me just then.

"I like that," I put my hand on the back of her head and kissed her again. "How about we post pone this shopping," he raised his eye brows.

"And do what instead," She pulled back from me slightly before making the same facial expression I made early.

"What if we get lunch to go eat in the the back of the truck and maybe one thing will lead to an other," I squeezed her waiting for a response.

"What if I finish here, you go get the food pick me up at my house, and I'm all yours until five, then you have to bring me back because I need to make dinner," she kissed me intimately convincing me if I wasn't already before.

"It's a date." I agree spanking her and getting away briefly before she could stop me. She sure was something. She smiled at me as I walked out of the grocery store. I briefly hoped that I didn't really need anything, but I mostly didn't care. I had two things on my mind. Picking up food and going my place to pick up the beer. Mary could drink like a fish. I also wanted to try to remember to grab some blankets, maybe a candle or something. Just because I wasn't usually romantic didn't mean that I couldn't be. I didn't feel like I needed to impress Mary. A lot of times with chicks they were always nagging about them not getting enough attention and other shit like that, but Mary just wasn't like that. I could get use to that. But still, I like to surprise, I doubt she would be expecting dinner in my truck to be romantic, I was about to show her how wrong she was.

Going to get food, and picking up some stuff at my place was the easy part. The hard part was getting to her house and not knowing what to do. I got to her house and had to weigh my options. Did I honk and wait for her to come out? Should I go to the door, but what if someone else answers the door, then what do I tell them? Finally I let out a sigh, cleared my throat, and walked towards the door. In those 24 steps my head was spinning a mile a minute. I was thinking of all the different scenarios in my head, none of which had any answers. If my life were a movie fast paced dramatic music would be playing right now. As I got to the steps leading to her house she came out leaving me puzzled. She caught on to it to.

"Were you expecting someone else?" She laughed at my expression.

"No, I was just wondering if I was suppose to knock or not!" It sounded dumb when I said it out loud.

"Well do you want me to go back in?" She stopped walked and looked at me.

" I just want to make sure I'm not going to mess this up." Mary was like blank book I couldn't read.

"Tim, you worry too much," She told me plainly walking off the porch leaving me standing there looking like a damn fool.

"At least let me get the door!" I skipped the steps and jogged to catch up with her.

''What a gentleman," she complimented me. I couldn't help but smile at her, she was so cute.

"How's the suspended life?" I raised my eye brow putting my hand on her knee as I backed up.

"Much better now," she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Glad I can be of assistance."

"I'm hoping you can assist in more way than one," she gave me a look I recognized. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I know a place where we can pull over, I'm sure no one will be coming over there, we'll have total privacy." I kinda gave her a look similar to the one she had given me moments earlier.

"Sounds nice," she smiled. Damn she's hot.

"Was anyone at your place?" I was wondering if she told people about us, were we an item?

"Just Soda, I don't think it'll be too long until Pony and who ever else will be back. But don't worry I don't have to be back until 5," she winked at me. I was surprised she wasn't more concerned about people finding out about us. Every thing to her was always a secret, I didn't understand why this was not.

"What happens at 5?" I asked her as I pulled off the road. I figured she would freak out as I drove my truck off road, some of the trees were a close fit, most chicks would fuss but not Mary she didn't say a word. I wondered is she had been here before.

"I'll have to cook something real fast, Darry should be back around 5:30 or 6," her eyes were looking around to where we were. I put it in park and turned around and faced her completely.

"Well aren't you just a great house wife," I told her instantly regretting it. She scruntched up her face looking at me.

"I just meant," I started

"No, you're right, what ever keeps Darry happy right?" her frown turned to a smile and she opened the door.

"I could have gotten that," I told her getting out too.

"I know, but I can too!" She laughed dismissing my worry. "Do I make you nervous?" She challenged me as I opened the hatch and climbed up in the bed of the truck getting the food, beer, and blankets situated.

"What would you do if I said yes?" I offered her a hand up to the truck.

"I guess I would tell you not to be nervous, just relax and lets see where this goes, no harm right?" She sat down crossing her legs.

"Yeah, but I _know_ you." I tried to explain.

"Mhh, do you know, or do you just think you do?" She leaned into me. Now I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I know you, I've known you almost my whole life. You're dad coached my football team, your mom cooked for us when my parents split, Darry's a good friend." I thought she might get mad, because her smile faded, but her eyes were still soft.

"What does any of that have to do with me though? You're not interested in my family, or at least hopefully not the same way you are about me, so why does that matter?" I knew she had a good point, and I really wished I could just be with her and not think about her family, but it was always on my mind.

"I wish it was that easy," I sighed and held her hands looking at her.

"Why isn't it?" I could tell she was trying to be patient with me, but I also knew it probably would not last too much longer.

"You try to keep your life so separate, your social life, your work life, your family life, and your relationship, but I don't want to just be a part of your life Mar." I was amazed at how good that sounded, I never could say shit like that on the spot, Mary's different.

"You don't want to be apart of the rest, its messy!" She took a beer out of the cooler.

"Just give me a chance. You already know my family is a nut house, Curley is at reformatory school, Angela is with child, and me hell I'm the only normal one and that ain't saying much." She smiled at what I was saying so I figured we were okay.

"I figured burgers were safe, everyone likes burgers right?" I handed her one.

"I would certainly hope so!" She took it finished the rest of her beer. She drank her faster than I drank mine. I knew we were going to get along just fine.

"So tell me, what did you do on your day off besides grocery shopping?" I moved my shoulder back to get more comfortable, she had a hard head.

"Travis came over and we talked for a while. Then I talked to Soda for a bit." When she talked about Travis it kind of made my skin crawl. Why was she always with him? More importantly why did it bother me so much? I didn't say anything knowing it probably would not come out right, she didn't seem to pick up on my silence. I thought she might have fallen asleep she was so still and I could tell she was breathing heavy.

"How are things with Darry? Are they getting better?" I figured that was a good place to start a conversation. He body language told me other wise. I could feel her tense up, and I bet if I could see her face she would have a stressed complexion.

"He was pretty peeved at me last night, and I certainly didn't get on his good side this morning." She said with a nonchalant sigh.

"What happened last night?" I was sure it wasn't a big deal chicks had a way of blowing things out of proportion, however, I also knew that chicks had a way of loving to talk.

"There was a whole lot of drama with Soda. Sandy was leaving for good, so I took Soda to say good bye. He was a mess when we left so I took him to a bar and got him a little tipsy." She said this like it was no big deal, but I knew it was a big deal. Soda didn't need alcohol to be drunk.

"Oh man, Soda tipsy huh? Good for you, ya'll all need to live a little. What did superman think about that?" I felt like I kind of already knew, but I thought it'd be better if she told me.

"He came in and knocked over a lamp waking Darry up, he was all pissed said I was irresponsible, but I kinda think that he was upset because he didn't even know we were gone. I left him a note, but I don't think he even realized we left. It made him look bad that's why I think he lashed out." She didn't seem to upset about what she was saying she was so damn hard to read.

"I wouldn't worry he'll get over it. Probably by the time he gets home from work someone else would have pissed him off and he'll forget about you," I tried to make her feel better. She turned around and kissed my cheek, so I knew it must have helped a little. She finished her burger in mostly silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was peaceful in a way. He next question kinda of threw me off I wasn't expecting it.

"Have you ever struck Angela or Curley before?" She asked it casually like she was just wondering, and she didn't really tense up so I didn't really think too much of her comment at first.

"Yeah, Curly more than Angela, but that's different because Curly's tried to hit me before too." I smiled a little thinking about how Curly was always unsuccessful in trying to beat me at pretty much anything.

"Yeah," she agreed, but her tone sounded like she wanted her to say more.

"Why?" I finally took her bait.

"Have you ever disciplined Angela? Like filling in where your parents didn't?" Answering a question with a question was never a good sign.

"Yeah, but I'm not a bad guy. It's always been for a good reason. I haven't gone after her with a belt like my dad does or thrown shit at her like my mom, but i'm not afraid to give either of them a piece of my mind when they've done dumb shit." When I finished what I said I thought I figured out why she was asking. It all made perfect since. Angela.

"I'm not mad at Angela, Mary. I'm not going to yell at her or give her a hard time. I'm not that guy." I was a little offended that she thought I would act irrationally.

"Oh I know, Tim!" She assured me like she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Then why'd you ask?" I shifted around not really hiding my frustration all too well.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to upset you, I didn't mean anything about it, I think Curley and Angela are lucky to have you. Honest, I do." She too moved back away from me looking me in the eyes. That was usual for her.

"Yeah okay," I let out a sigh massaged her shoulders, trying to get her to lay back down. She was currently sitting in between my legs with her back against my chest. We were silent for a while, but it didn't feel quite as peaceful as it was before.

"What are you thinking about," I tried asking after a longer spell of silence.

"I'm thinking about kissing you." A smile spread across my face when she said that, even if I didn't believe that that was what she was actually thinking.

"Anyone ever tell you that you think too much?" I leaned forward and kissed her before she could move. She turned and put her legs around my waist facing me. Damn she was flexible. I didn't reach for her shirt right away, and I knew she was waiting on me to make the first move, she always did. After an other few good kisses, I pulled her shirt off and lowered her to her back. I laid on top of her being careful not to squish her and kissed her all over. When my face was next to hers I could tell she had a fever, she was sweating too and we hadn't even started yet. It all made since why she was laying so still and closing her eyes.

"Mary," I started to say, but she shushed me reaching for my pants. I rolled off of her, but I was still laying down. She sat up and looked at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Let's do this an other time." I told her not really knowing what else to say. I knew she would not appreciate me telling her that I knew she was sick. I was sure there was a reason she didn't want me to know.

"Why?" She looked at me skeptically reaching back for her shirt, it had gotten thrown across the truck.

"I'd rather just talk." Those words came off my tongue like vinegar. She knew it too.

"Yeah, right," she put her shirt on and leaned up against the truck sitting up right.

"Aw, come on don't be like that, I don't just want to have sex when we get board ya know? I've done that with other girls before, but Mary I want to be different with you." I wasn't completely bull shitting her, so I hoped she would at least half buy it. Mary didn't say anything, but she moved and sat beside me. It took a little coaxing but after a few minutes i had my arm around her and she was leaning into.

"We have to leave before 5," she told me as she closed her eyes again. I thought about trying to talk to her a little more, but I too closed my eyes and just tried to really enjoy the moment. It didn't seem like it had been much time at all before she told me we had to go. She jumped down from the back of the truck in her skirt in all. I smiled thinking about how unlike everyone else was. We didn't speak much on the ride home, until I spoke too much.

"What are you doing tonight after you make dinner?" The reason I asked was because I hoped she was going to go to sleep and start to feel better, but her response changed what I was thinking.

"there's this playground Travis wants to fix up, and I thought I would take him to it after I get everything done." She said it in such a casual way. Everything she said was casual. She never expressed emotion. It was like nothing was a big deal to her.

"You're going to hang out with Travis again?" I asked with out really thinking about what her reaction would be.

"Yeah, why?" Again, her voice was flat.

"Nothing its just you were with him this morning." I tried to sound as calm as her.

"He's my friend Tim. He's my best friend." I wasn't really able to control my next thought.

"What does that make Angela?"

"Don't get me wrong I really care about her, but Travis really looks out for me." In that one sentence she said so many things that tried my temper.

"Isn't that weird?"

"How?" She started to pick up on my annoyance.

"Because you spend more time with him than you do with me!" I told her as we were pulling onto her street.

"Oh don't be dramatic, I do not." She argued getting annoyed by my accusations, but she still had a smile on her face, although it did not stay there long.

"You do! I bet you tell him everything we do! You probably talk to him more than you talk to me!"

"I hope you don't really think that!" She didn't raise her voice like I was, she actually did the complete opposite.

"It's hard not to. It's like he's got you all figured out and I'm just lost in it, always a second best!" I stopped the car in the drive way.

"Now you're just making this up!" She opened the car door. I got out quicker and stopped her before she got very far.

"What am I suppose to think ya'll are doing when your going to parks at night, or talking all morning alone in your house? You spent the night with him god knows where the other night when Darry called here looking for you! How does that make me look?" I thought I was making perfect sense, she did not.

"It makes you look better than you sound right now thats for sure!" She raised her voice for the first time.

"Mary, I'm being serious, I want to be the one you talk to and tell things to. You're my girl!" I added that last part to try to sugar coat the first part.

"Then be that guy Tim!" She threw her hands up in the air

"Jesus Christ Curtis, how?"

"Travis wouldn't have to ask me that," she told me coldly raising an eye brow.

"I guess he's just perfect then huh, and what does that make me? Why don't you just date him if you think so fondly of him? Because clearly he has it all figured out." I realized looking back that that was not my best move.

"Because I chose you damn it!" She slammed her hand down on my car leaving me speechless. "And you know what, he's not perfect he's hurting because his friend died in Vietnam, and he's not perfect because he's having to go back soon, so grow the hell up Tim, you're acting jealous like a third grade girl." With that she left me standing at my car dumbfounded, but not before adding one last sentence to pour boiling water on a burn.

"You should actually thank him, because he found me a job, ya know because I needed one because your brother got me fired from my last. So think about that."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey Pony, how was school?" Soda asked me from the couch.

"It wasn't too bad. I've got a lot of homework though. With track starting soon I wonder how I'll be able to get it all done." I told Soda honestly, even though he dropped out of school he was still really understanding about it.

"You'll get it done, you're smart. Mary and Darry will help too." Soda gave me an encouraging nudge. "None of the guys walked home with you?"

"Nah, they were all hanging around the DX with Steve." I wasn't really in the mood to hang out at the DX.

"Oh, okay." He smiled at me putting his feet back up on the coffee table.

"Where's Mary?" I looked around.

"She left after she dropped off the groceries, I don't really know where. I was in the shower." Soda didn't look like he was really hung over like Two-bit did, but he did have some bags under his eyes.

"Oh," I said and he must have sensed my doubt because he looked up at me. "How did she look?"

"How did she look, she looked like Mary, Pone," Soda laughed at my comment. I didn't really know what to say so I kinda just shrugged it off and walked to my room. I knew Mary wouldn't want me to tell Soda about Darry and hers encounter last night, but then again Mary told the gang this morning so it was only a matter of time until he too found out. There was no such thing as secrets. Soda came into our room breaking my thoughts a few minutes later. I was sitting at our desk not really doing any homework, and Soda laid down on our bed.

"How much do ya know Pone?"

"Probably more than you do," I didn't face him, but I spoke up so he could hear me.

"I'm sorry I came home so late, I'm sure it worried you that I wasn't in here." Did he not think that I knew he was drunk?

"I don't think you need to tell me your sorry Soda," I didn't mean to sound like a smart ass, but at the same time I knew he had no idea what all went down.

"What do you mean?" Soda looked like he honestly had no idea what I was talking about.

"Darry was really upset at Mary."

"Yeah, I heard her telling Travis that today, how'd you know?"

"I heard them fighting."

"Wow, I must have been really out, I woke up in Mary's room this morning. I'm sorry I caused all of this pal," Soda gave me a sympathetic look. I could tell he did truly feel bad.

"It'll all blow over, it always does." I smiled a little to Soda.

"Darry hit Mary Pone?" Soda sat up from the bed watching my reaction. I didn't see that coming.

"How'd you know that?" I knew Mary wouldn't have told him, and I didn't think any of the guys had been around.

"I heard Mary tell Travis."

"Oh, yeah, she must have told him to come over because he was here when I got up."

"Did he mean to hit her Pone?" Soda had hope in his voice, I could tell he wanted me to tell him that it was an accident.

"I don't think he did it on purpose, I just think his temper got the best of him." I don't think Darry would ever intentionally hit Mary, until recently Mary was probably Darry's favorite, even before mom and dad died. Soda was a real close second, but I think Mary's self containment pleased Darry.

"Oh boy."

"Mary's tough Soda, she'll be fine. If I was you, I would worry more about Darry, the gang knows he hit her, and there was a slue of reactions to that."

"The gang knows? How?" Soda seemed as if he almost didn't believe me.

"Two-bit was being Two-bit and asked about the shiner, she seized the opportunity to say that some ass hole took a cheap shot, and then she didn't make him a lunch saying she didn't want to make an other mess for him to clean up, and they all just figured it out. " I figured I would just tell him straight because he would find out anyway.

"She really said that?" I nodded to answer him.

"Wow." Soda looked like he was having a hard time processing it all.

"It's going to be fine Soda." I tried to reassure him.

"Shouldn't I be the one who tell you that?" Soda gave me a weak smile.

Soda and I talked for a while longer, but not about much. We didn't talk about Sandy, or Mary, or Darry, so that just left the DX and Steve. Soda told me that he worried a lot about Steve's dad, and how he didn't understand why Steve let his dad get away with hurting him. Steve's a big guy, that's what makes him different than Johnny. We both stopped when we heard a truck pull into the driveway. We both walked over to the window and watched.

"Is that?" I started

"Tim's truck," Soda finished for me.

"She looks upset," I spoke the obvious.

"What do you think they are talking about?" He asked me.

"I don't know, do you think we should go out there."

"Not just yet anyway, let's wait and see." Soda held the blinds open further I was afraid that she was going to see us. She slammed her hand down on the car and walked away. I jumped back from the blind thinking she saw us but Soda stayed. Mary turned and said something to him before coming in the house.

"Hey Mar," Soda yelled trying to be subtle.

"Hey Soda, did Pony make it home okay?" Mary asked like nothing had just happened.

"I'm in here," I spoke up.

"How was your day?" She called to me. I decided just to come out and talk to her, so we wouldn't have to yell. I was surprised to see her smoking in the house she never did that. She must have seen the expression on my face too. "I would have taken this outside, but I can't cook outside, want one?" She threw a pack onto the table and went back to working.

"Hey Mary, what were you and Tim talking about outside?" Soda just bluntly asked as he walked out of our room.

"He's jealous of Travis." Mary said plainly like it was no big deal. Neither Soda or I really knew how to respond to it. We both sat there and watched her work, I did a little bit of homework but I had already done all of it that I knew how to. She finished her cancer stick right before she put the dish in the oven. Next thing I knew she was piecing back together the lamp that Soda broke last night. She had a very determined look on her face, I was afraid to talk to break her concentration. I gave Soda a nudge encouraging him speak up, in return he nudged me back.

"If you have something to say, say it." Mary must have noticed us.

"I just want to say how sorry I am." Soda stood up, but Mary didn't look up.

"If you're talking about last night, I probably should tell you I'm sorry. It's never appropriate to take your little brother to a bar, and everything that happened after that is my fault too, so you're off the hook." She still didn't look up, but Soda and I both had similar looks on our face. There was an other long pause before Soda tried again, but this time he went and grabbed her hand that had the glue in it.

"I'm sorry." He repeated. She looked at him finally and crossed her legs letting out a sigh.

"I know I haven't been a good brother, I know I got all down your throat about Steve and then Sandy, and I should have never lashed at you, Mary, please?" I admired Soda just then.

"I know you didn't mean it, it's okay all is forgiven pal." She gave him a smile.

"Mary, I am here for you, and not just today if you ever need to talk to anyone, if Travis isn't here, then I can be your temporary best friend," Soda pulled her into a hug but she pushed him back a little bit and looked at him skeptically.

"You heard us?" Mary whispered I almost didn't hear her.

"Yeah, but I won't say anything," Soda tried to make her feel better.

"Soda, that wasn't for you to hear!" She sat back down and kept working on the lamp. I wondered what they were talking about, but I figured my chances of talking to her about it later were greater then asking her now.

"It wasn't on purpose," he tried to defend herself.

"That was between Travis and I," she repeated, but she didn't really sound mad.

"I'm sorry, but Mary I can't stop thinking about it, I want to help, you can talk to me." He pleaded with her.

"That's why I didn't tell you, I don't want to talk about it, its not something we can talk about with out it changing out relationship."

"How do you know if you haven't tried?" Soda made a good point. Mary must have thought so too because she didn't say anything right away. "You're shutting us out when you should be letting us in because Mary we are never going anywhere, we will always be here."

"I'm sorry Soda, but I don't have time for this," she put a little more glue on the lamp then scribbled on a a piece of paper_ Don't Touch. Two-bit that means you. _

"Thank you for taking care of the lamp, I'm sorry I broke it." I could tell Soda was retreating.

"Don't worry about, it's replaceable," she opened the oven and looked at her dish. I wasn't really sure what it was, but it smelled really good. Soda grabbed some plates off the counter and placed them on the table.

"Soda, everything's fine. We're fine, and if I'm ever not, I know I can talk to you, or Pony, savvy?" She added my name because she saw me staring at them. Soda smiled like it was Christmas, and they both hugged. It was a long hug too.

"Aw, ain't that sweet?" Two-bit hooted as he walked in the room followed by Steve and Johnny.

"Peace is restored, about damn time." Steve muttered sitting on the couch next to me.

"Something smells good what you cooking blondie?" Dally came in smoking a cancer stick.

"Its a kinda lasagna, there's plenty," she told him dumping some beans into a bowl. "There's nothing I like better in a woman than some good home cooking!" Two-bit called over.

"Really, that's the most important thing?" Steve had a grin on his face.

"Well the most important thing I can say in front of the kid, if you know what I mean," Two-bit nudged me. I could feel my face turning red, I hated it when they talked like that.

"How are you feeling Soda? I hate I wasn't there last night!" Two-bit unintentionally changed the subject. I was glad he did though.

"Yeah, yeah, it won't be happening again any time soon," I was sure that Soda was saying that just because I was there. He started doing that a lot more. He was tying to be a better role model or something. I didn't know what happened to make him be that way more recently. Everyone babied me, it was such a pain. Well, everyone but Steve and Dally.

"What'd Super Man say about your new hobby?" Steve asked him.

"He hasn't yet, he's not home," Soda said as the door opened.

"You scared of what he's gonna say, you nearly jumped out of your skin for Travis!" Two-bit laughed at Soda.

"Don't worry, we won't let it get too physical," Dally lit an other smoke.

"Dally, keep you mouth shut, let's just let this one play out," Soda kind of surprised me with his reaction.

"Alright, well don't come crying to me when he takes a swing at you too," Dally put his feet up and leaned back closing his eyes.

"Hey," Travis finally spoke up. Mary turned around from the sink recognizing his voice.

"Hey, Travis," Mary smiled towards him.

"You better watch out kid, people are going to start to call you a greaser if you keep hanging out with hoods like us," Two-bit told him making Dally crack a grin opening his eyes.

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" Travis sat on the arm of Dally's chair. I thought that Dally was going to push him off the chair, but he stood up and walked over to hover over Mary instead.

"You really ought to put that out, tensions are already high with out you pissing Darry off when the house smells like smoke," Mary elbowed him.

"Oh please, I can hold my own. I fight back," Dally gabbed Mary's chin looking at the cut.

"Come on Dal," Johnny had a pleading tone in his voice. Dally didn't respond but he let go of my chin right as Darry walked in.

"Superman!" Two-bit called.

Darry mumbled a half hearted hello, he looked really tired.

"What the hell did you do to the lamp?" Dally pointed to the table.

"I fixed it, don't touch it it isn't-" Mary started to tell him but he picked it up causing all the pieces she put together to fall apart.

"Can't you read Dallas," she hissed point at the note.

"It doesn't have my name on it, it says Two-bit!"

"Well the glue is on top of the fridge, be careful not to get you fingers stuck to anything," Mary told him with a smile walking towards Darry.

"Lasagna should be cool in a few minutes, and the beans are on the table. I should be back before it's too late. Ready?'' She turned away from Darry to Travis.

"What do I look like, Mary freaking Poppins?" Dally shouted after her.

Although Mary ignored him, I could tell she was smiling.

I watched her and Travis and walk out the door, I got up and ran after them.

"Mary," I got her attention as Travis was opening the door.

"Yeah Pone?" She turned back around.

"Can you be back before I go to bed, I need some help with some homework." I hoped I didn't sound too pathetic, but I liked it when she helped me more than Darry, that just never ended well.

"Yeah, maybe Travis can help too." She smiled getting all the way back in the car waving.

"I'll get her back soon, bud," Travis placed a hand on my shoulder I looked up to him and gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah okay," I nodded. He stood there and looked at me then looked at Mary.

"How about you come with us? It'll be good for you." He nudged me towards the car.

"Oh I don't want to be a tag a long. " I knew Steve hated it when I came with them.

"Oh nonsense. I'll go tell Darry," He walked back in the house and came out not even a minute later. With some lasagna on a paper plate.

"Pony's joining us," Travis told Mary opening the door for him.

"Oh good," Mary smiled warmly to me.

"Where are we headed?" Travis looked over to Mary.

"I knew this guy one time, he was knew to the area and didn't really know how things worked, but he wanted to fix up a playground on the greaser side of town, can you believe that?"Mary turned around and looked at me, I didn't really get what she was saying.

"Oh yeah, I think I remember her and her _gang_ mocking him." Travis still had a hard time understanding the greasers and the Socs.

"Yeah, exactly, well after some thought I realized we should make that our project, you know scope it out and maybe get some people to help us?" Mary's voice was raised like she was asking a question, but she seemed confident that he was going to agree.

Travis smiled real big and didn't say anything


	34. Chapter 34

For about two weeks everything was going okay. Darry and I acted like our fight never happened, Pony was doing fine in school, and Soda got a little bit over Sandy every day. It seemed like we finally were able to come up for air. I started my job at the gym, Travis wanted to come with me the first day, but I told him I needed to do it myself. That didn't stop him from driving over and sitting in the parking lot for hours though. I didn't think he knew that I saw him, I never told him I did, but it made me smile when I saw him sitting in his car with a baseball hat on, as if that concealed his identity.

There was still a little tension between Darry and I. More of a mutual distrust than tension. I went back to doing his laundry and making lunches, but we didn't speak much. Neither or us went out of our ways to see how things were going. I never even told them I got a new job. I didn't know if they assumed I found a new one or if I still had my old one.

I didn't know if there was peace in our house because everyone was busy and at night we were all too tired to get on each others nerves, or if it was that we were finally able to look at each other as siblings and not as orphans that belong to Darry. Two-bit, Dally, and Steve were even behaving. There weren't causing many problems or getting on my case too much everything was honestly fine. I was pulling my grades back up, I could have possibly even gotten all A's and B's which made Angela happy because she as able to copy the right answers. Sylvia was even being nicer to me, I figured it was only a matter of time until she told me what she wanted, or what she knew. I had a feeling she knew about Tim and I. She could be a real bitch and figure things out from pretty much nothing. I was happy with where Tim and I were. He apologized for being jealous of Travis, and even though it was stupid for him to be that way, I could see how a guy like Tim had a hard time trusting the girls he dated. Greaser girls have an act for running around on their guys, I'm sure Tim had been on the other end of that himself. Still we were in a pretty good place, he was going to pick me up in a little bit, as soon as I finished th dishes.

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Mary had her sleeves rolled up at the sink washing dished, Darry was sitting at the table with some bills. I could tell the two of them still hadn't really made up, but they were talking and playing nice. If you didn't know how close they were, or how they use to act, then you probably wouldn't even notice. Two-bit, Pony, Dally, Johnny, and Steve were playing a rather intense game of poker. Since Dally got back from lock up he hung around a little more, if I didn't know him better I would have said he missed us. I was about to offer to help Mary dry when Angela walked in and all hell broke loose.

"What the hell made you to think that it was okay to screw my brother?" She opened the door and let it slam behind her. Mary turned around from the sink and looked at her speechless, surprisingly so were the guys, well at least at first.

"Don't you know its common fucking courtesy not to sleep with your best friend's brother, I mean damn you don't see me going after Darry!" Angela pointed at Darry who started to stand up from his chair.

"Lets go outside Ang, let me explain," Mary started, I could almost hear her heart beating from beside her.

"Why, you don't want your precious family to know that you're not as perfect as they think? Jesus Fucking Christ Mary as if Curly wasn't enough! I was fine with you and him when you were drunk, but not Tim!"

"Curly? Angela NOTHING happened between him and I, not even a kiss!" Mary seemed horrified.

"Why would she try to get with Curly he's been a pain in the ass?" Steve spoke up. I made a mental note to thank him later, I wished Two-bit would crack a joke, I really needed something to lighten the mood."

"Mary lead him on for how many weeks, then finally when he wanted to make a move she turned him down because she was too good for him, but not Tim, shes fine with him." Angela had such hate in her voice I didn't know how she could talk like that.

"Anglea please!" Mary begged.

"You could have at least told me. I always that you were better than us, not sleeping around, and keeping your legs together like your daddy taught you to, but in reality you were screwing my brother behind my back! Here I am coming to you for support with this baby, and you are banging my brother in my house! I wanted to be you, I wished I was as good of a person as you! Then I find out your no better than any other slut!" She glared at Mary, I thought one of them was going to either cry or start fighting.

"Angela, you are way out of line," Soda started to say.

"I am so sorry I should have talked to you about this, you did not deserve this," Mary's fingers were tracing the design on the plate she was previously drying.

"You're not sorry you did it though are you? You're really only sorry that I found out. What do you love him or something?" She wasn't yelling anymore, but her tone sounded so sharp. I was at a loss for words I guess the guys were too. They weren't even watching their eyes were at the floor or on each other. Mary looked like she was trying to figure out what to say.

"Love, Angela I don't know what that is, but I'm not just sleeping with him, we're" Mary was only digging herself deeper into a hole.

"I hope you and him are happy then. I'm going away to have this baby, because I can't have it here with my best friend treating me like a piece of trash. So, I hope you two have a good life." Her anger started to rise again as Travis half opened the door. He held it open and Mary's back was to him so she didn't see him, but I had a really bad feeling.

"Angela," Mary whispered.

"I think everyone need to cool off," Darry started.

"Not now Darry, it's getting good," Dally shushed him, Darry shot him a look. I could slap Dallas, in fact I probably would later.

"Tell me when this started!"She yelled.

"It's not what you think, it was harmless at first we kept running into each other, it didn't mean anything!" she sighed.

"How'd you go from harmless to sex monkeys? When I agreed to take you out with us I did it because I'm nice and I thought someone should cut you a break, show you how to have a good time, but you just became a hoar!" Angela was making all of us uncomfortable, except for maybe Dally he seemed to be enjoying it.

"Now who exactly are you calling names here, Shepard because you don't exactly have a clean record with the guys," Two-bit tried.

"It just kind of happened, I went over to see you," Mary started, I wished she wouldn't have spoke, Angela was lashing out.

" oh right, because I wasn't there free pass to fuck my brother! And Travis, what are you two? Because he seems to be pretty damn convenient, you say you're in love with my brother, but then why is Travis always coming to your rescues. You can't have everything you want, damn it! You're going to hurt him, I know you're just looking for a pleasure toy to forget this hell hole, and Tim's not your guy!" Her voice sent chills down my spine.

"Angela, it's not like that, how could you think this?"

"Mary," Travis interrupted. "it's time."

"Oh look, here is now!" Angela snarled as Mary turned around and saw him in his greens and dropped the plate all over the floor. It shattered into a million pieces on the floor, symbolizing how i'm sure her heart felt just then. Her face was completely white, even Angela hushed. There was a musty feeling in the room, everyone was afriad to speak this time.

"Can you drive my car to the bus stop. I was thinking, if it's okay with Darry, Soda and Steve can work on it, use it for parts or whatever, and then Pony when its time for you to drive it's all yours pal," He winked at Pony as Mary opened a drawer and was searching for something.

"That'd be great, you can teach me when you get back." Pony was too naive to really understand what Travis' offer meant.

"Shit man, I was just getting use to you," Two-bit stood up and shook his hand smiling the best he could.

Darry was next, "You're a great man." It was simple, but I'm sure it meant a lot to Travis his face light up a little with gratitude.

"Don't work too hard man, life will get away from you." Travis had such a firm look on his face. "It has been a pleasure to be apart of the gang. I for one am glad I got to experience being greaser." He smiled making eye contact with everyone at least briefly giving them a nod. There was nothing to joke about when it came to war, we all knew what this meant, there were no words to describe it.

Last he turned to Angela," I know that you weren't expecting this baby, but it is a miracle, and it is lucky to have you as a mom. It's your chance to make a difference in this baby's life," he put his hand on her stomach and looked at her softly. He then turned and held his hand out for Mary who had a piece of paper in her hand, and a tough expression on her face. She followed him out the door and we all stood there dumb founded.

"Well shit," Steve muttered as Darry got on the floor to pick up the plate. Angela sat down in Darry's chair looking light headed.

"I bet you feel like shit," Dally point to her. I can't say that i blame him for his remark.

"Fuck off Winston," she hissed.

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I had known this day was coming for a long time. I had imagined it so many times in so many different ways, but some how as he opened the door for me I sat there feeling panicked because I didn't know what to do.

"Mary," he whispered breaking my thought.

"You have to keep living. You are the backbone of this family, do not break because I am gone. You do not need me." His words made me want to hurl.

"How can you say that? I do need you, I was broken until you got here!" I didn't mean to sound so pathetic, but I didn't know what else to say.

"But now you're healed and strong enough to do this. You have a good job, you and Darry are at least talking now, you and Soda are stronger than ever, Pony still adores you, you're going to be alright." He put his hand on my knee, and I literally did everything I could not to cry.

"Stop fussing over me, you're right I'll be fine! I'm always fine! What about you, will you be okay?" I know he needed to hear I was fine, so I would be damned if I didn't convince him before he got out of this car, even if it was a lie.

"I've done it before, I can do it again," I could tell he was trying to reassure me the same way I was trying to reassure him. The ride to the bus stop was hardly 8 minutes, damn Tulsa for being so small. The bus was already there.

"This is it Mar," he looked at me getting out of the car.

"This is it for now Travis," I told him getting out too. He gave me a weak smile.

We hugged and I closed my eyes feeling a tear escape. I brushed it off on his rough uniform.

"You be nice to my car now, and while you're at it, be nice to yourself too. You're a good kid Mar." He smiled holding my hand. He kissed my forehead before starting to walk away.

"When you start to give up you think of me, when you start to have doubts think of me, when you start to be scared you. think. of. me. This is a list of all we will do when you get back. You have not let me down yet, so don't you dare start now, come back to me." I held my breath at the end so I wouldn't cry. It was only kind of successful.

"I love you Mar," he squeezed my shoulder one last time. I leaned up against the car as I watched him walk away. He got to the bus and they opened the door for him. He gave me one last wave getting on. I kept it together for about an other 2 minutes. I told myself he would get back off, I told myself that this was just an other sick joke, but once the bus started to drive away I lost all hope and with that I lost my composure. It was just a few tears that a couple deep breaths got rid of. I got back in the car and drove back home. I was numb, I told myself that I didn't have feelings.

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"What a night," Johnny muttered.

"Never a dull moment in the Curtis house." Dally light up a smoke and threw them on the table for anyone. I thought about telling him to take it outside, but in a twisted way that may have been Dallas' way of helping. We all took one, myself and Soda included.

"Those are two things I never wanted to hear," Pony finally said.

"What your sisters sex life and what else?" Dally spoke bluntly. I didn't even bother exerting an effort of controlling him, at this point no one could say anything that was going to surprise me more than I already had.

"Her best friend being sent to hell," Pony not only sounded wiser than his years, but I think he actually made Angela get off her pedestal.

"I'll call in a couple days, all this smoke is bad for the baby," she told us walking out.

"What now?" Soda asked.

"I wish I knew buddy." I told him truthfully.

"Its not like he's the first one to go to war, hell the whole country is pretty much going," I knew Dally was just being Dally, but I wasn't in the mood to take it, and neither was anyone else.

"Lay off Dal," Johnny whispered. He looked like he was going to say something, but he didn't. "Let's get out of here before the next show, I think this is enough I can handle in one night." Dally was the only one to get up at first.

"Should we stay or go?" Steve asked both me and Soda. Soda raised his eye brow towards me.

"Stay," Soda said before I responded. "One of her best friends just humiliated her, and the other one is gone indefinitely, do you think she wants to come home to an empty house?" Soda made a good point, but I didn't know if he was right or not. Dally left, but he left in silence meaning that he wasn't doing it to be an ass, he probably made the right decision.

"Deal me in," Two-bit threw the cards on the table. Sometimes I was really thankful for him. I watched them play cards and although there was more energy expressed than I expected you could tell there was a storm brewing.

Travis' car pulled up and we all looked at each other when we heard the door close. I honestly didn't expect her to come in right away. "Your turn Johnny-kid," Two-bit tried to keep the game going. Soda looked so nervous I could see his hands shake.

She opened the door and out of reflex threw the keys in the dish like she would the truck's, she causally picked it back up and placed in on the counter.

"It was real nice of you to drive him Mar," Soda smiled at her sympathetically.

"You'd think they'd pick him up in a helicopter being as he's such a valuable engineer ya know?" I really admired Steve just then, such an unusual act.

"Yeah," she smiled looking at the plate in the trash can.

"Do you think that I should try to glue it back, it was mom's," she shrugged. We all got over the phase of being upset about out parents' belongings a little while ago. Honestly we were in their house, that was enough.

"Nah, but you could, you did a nice job with the lamp, and I'll have you know I didn't touch it." Two-bit looked up from his cards. She smiled a little walking back to the sink to finish the dishes.

"Mary, why don't you let Pony get those?" I knew under normal circumstances he would have objected, but I knew he wouldn't dare right now.

"Oh no, he helped cook, it was good, yeah?" Mary was almost fooling me with how okay she was.

"At least let me dry," he insisted.

"Yeah, okay," she nodded. I watched for a second, but when they seemed fine I took my eyes away only to bring them back a couple minutes later.

I assumed Pony reached for Mary's hand under the water, and I knew he meant well but I guess Mary couldn't handle that just yet. She backed up and dried her hands on a towel. She looked to the fridge, I had a feeling I knew what was just about to happen.

"I guess Angela so graciously blew my cover, so no ones going to have a heart attack if I drink this?" Mary pulled open the fridge. I knew I probably should have said something, either about her drinking underage, or discuss what Angela said, but I didn't think it was a good time.

"I'll drink with you," Two-bit got up and met her at the fridge. She handed him one and the sat up on the counter. I was almost expecting Darry to tell her to get off the counter, but he looked like he was in total shock.

"You know Angela she just says shit to get attention, don't give her the satisfaction of believing any of her lies," Steve also got a beer and pulled a chair out from under the table.

"If only they were lies," Mary sighed holding her beer up as if she was toasting herself. I watched Mary hard and I could tell she was trying so hard to put on a face. She must have sensed it too because she got down.

"I think I'll finish it outside, it's kind of warm in here." Mary jumped down. We all kind of nodded trying to be less awkward, "Thanks guys," she told us opening the door. I think we all knew what she was thanking us for. I got up and went after her a long minute later.

"Hey," I greeted her leaned up against the door. She was in the swing looking the other way.

"Hey," she responded not looking at me. I looked at her face to see if she was crying, which to no surprise at all she wasn't. Her eyes were watery like she might cry, but I knew she wouldn't if I was there.

I sat beside her silently. We didn't say a word. I started by putting my hand on top of hers. I left it there for a few minutes before draping it over her shoulder. It took a little longer for her to lean into me, but once she did I would have sworn that she was going to give in and talk to me, but right before she bailed and stood back up, "You know I've got some unfinished homework and a really long day tomorrow, so I better get inside."

I didn't know if I should have stopped her and insisted that we talk, or if I should let her go. Was it healthy for her just to move on with her life like nothing had changed?

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"Come on Pone, you've been working for a long time now. Why don't you just call it a night?" I asked him. He has been looking at the same page for a while now, I figured he wasn't really getting much accomplished anyway.

"Yeah, okay," he reluctantly agreed closing his book.

"Thatta boy," I smiled as he got into bed.

"Tomorrow's a new day Pony," I put my arm over his shoulder.

"Yeah," he agreed moving to his back. We were silent for a while, but I knew Pony wasn't asleep. He never slept on his back.

"What are you thinking about," I finally asked him. He had asked me that before, so I figured I would try.

"I'm just thinking," he sighed.

"Well, tell me what your thinking, I need something to think about too," I tried to convince him. When he didn't say anything I decided to result to beggary. "Aw come on Pone."

"I just can't really believe Mary is with Tim."

"Yeah, I guess Mary hasn't really dated anyone in a while, huh? But ya know shes's dated lots of guys remember, its not like this is really anything new." I tried to defend her.

"She's never dated anyone like Tim," Pony wasn't really understanding what I was saying.

"That we know of Pon, we never really know what she's up to."

"Soda that's not what I mean," he was getting annoyed.

"Then tell me what you mean, Pal." I tried to keep my voice soothing so that I sounded approachable but I wasn't really sure I was going to get to the bottom of it.

"I don't know what I'm trying to say, she just reminds me of mom so much." I was starting to figure out what Pony was saying.

"She may be nurturing and take care of a lot of stuff Pone, but she's not mom. She's almost 18, shes acting like an 18 year old, do you remember what Darry was like 18, or think about Two-bit, or Dally." Although I probably didn't really agree with a lot of what I heard Angela say I thought someone should defend Mary.

"Yeah, I guess I just expected more out of Mary than I do out of Two-bit or Dally." Pony was speaking wiser beyond his years.

"Does that remind you of something someone else says you know?" I nudged him.

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes knowing that I was talking about Darry.

"Listen Pony, obviously no one ever wants to know the sex life of their older sister, clearly thats why she tried to hide it, but it doesn't change all of the good things she does for our family, it doesn't change her. So she's not perfect, hell none of us are." I almost convinced myself of what I was saying.

"I know you're right Soda, I just didn't expect it is all."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry that you had to hear it." I honestly was, there were a lot of things he shouldn't have to hear that he's heard, but so has the whole family, and the gang too. There was no avoiding it and I'm sure there would be more to come.

"Soda, did you ever sleep with Sandy?" His question kind of caught me off guard, but then again it didn't really. It was a fair question, he knew about Mary, it only made since he would ask about me.

He sensed my hesitation and back peddled, "you don't have to tell me, forget I asked."

"I've never lied to you before, I don't see why I should now. We did sleep together only once though. She always wanted to take things slow, and I was always okay with that." I added the last part because I didn't want him to think that it was okay to just casually sleep with anyone.

"Could you be the baby's father?"

"No, I asked her, she said she was pregnant before she slept with me." It hurt a little to tell him, but I think I was finally starting to get over her. I went from depressed to angry, and now I am sort of just numb to it, just ready to feel better.

"That's messed up," Pony told me. I had heard that and thought that many times before too.

"Yeah, pal it is, that's why you have to be sure when you sleep with someone. I mean really sure, because I don't care what anyone says it changes things. Look at me, I was sure I was in love, and I wanted to sleep with her, but I had no idea she was seeing someone else ya know?" I figured I maybe shouldn't have told him that last part.

"Yeah, I know Soda," he assured me very straight forward. I smiled because I knew it would be at least a couple years before Pony even thought about any of that, not only because he was young, but because he really just wasn't into girls.

"I know you do," I smiled a little rolling over.

"Night, Soda," he told me.

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I laid there listeneing to Soda and Pony through the walls. I felt so guilty, which was a new feeling for me.

I couldn't take it anymore, I was so antsy I couldn't even stand it. I packed a bag with extra clothes, my work clothes, and school books. I knew that lying in bed thinking about sleeping would just make matters worse, so I went on of the only places I knew to go. I figured there wouldn't be much going on at 11 on a Wednesday, but I didn't expect it to be this dead.

"Mary, I've been expecting you," Buck looked up to me as I close the door. I smiled not really knowing how to respond to that. "Let me get you a drink."

Still not really knowing what to say I smiled and forced a, "thank you," as I sat on a bar stool.

"It's a bloody shame," Buck told me as he watched me drink the beer he put on the table. I needed to be careful if I was going to drive back home.

"What's that?" I asked even though I knew what he was talking about.

"A good guy like him gets shipped out," he put his elbows on the bar and leaned down to eye level with me. Truthfully it made me uncomfortable.

"Someone's gotta go so it might as well be the good guys, at least they'll do what right." I don't know why I defended the army when truthfully I had thought some un-American thoughts the last couple hours.

"When he came down in his greens this afternoon I knew he was called." It was not my night for knowing how to respond.

"How long do you think he'll be gone for?" I blurted, I didn't even really know where that question came from.

"Hell if I know," he shrugged looking at me as if he expected me to cry..

"Stop looking at me that way, it was his job, I knew he was going to go back sometime," I traced the rim of my drink with my fingers.

"Yeah, but that doesn't make it any less shitty, does it, he was one of us." Buck's words made me smile, he was one of us.

"Ain't that the truth," I laughed thinking about him.

"Looking at the beer won't make you feel better," he told me while he was busy cleaning.

"I think I drink too much, and I don't know if I think that's a bad thing or not," personally I didn't see a problem with it, but my parents always said that if you had to hide something then you already knew it was wrong, and up until Angela's act I had been hiding it. "I'm tired of letting people down."

"Shoot Mary what kind of question is that?" he laughed at me, I didn't expect him to understand.

"I don't have anyone to impress Blondie," typical Buck response.

"Do I?"

"I don't think I can answer that," he stopped and looked at me.

"How am I suppose to know if its okay to do what I want, or if I should be the perfect big sister who cooks, cleans, and keeps the peace, because I can't hide it anymore Angela blew my cover."

"You know do what you have to survive Mary, that's all. Plain and Simple." I looked at him when he said that. It was solid advice. He must have recognized the look on my face because he paused before speaking.

"You know Travis, being the model citizen he was, he paid the rent through the end of the month, so his room is open, I haven't even been in. Stay as long as you want. You're drinking for free tonight, " I started to object but he wouldn't give me a chance, "I gave him my word I'd watch after you Kid, and dammed if I won't keep my word to a hero." Hero, what a powerful word. I knew Travis was my hero, but Buck was right, he was a hero in so many more ways than I even realized. I watched Buck walk upstairs and he left me thinking. Thinking about my life, and Travis'.

"So tell me one thing I've been dying to know Princess," an unwanted voice broke my concentration.

"Yeah, and why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

"Is Timmy any good in bed?" I should have expected this.

"Surprisingly well, I guess the saying is true," I decided two could play this game.

"What saying is that exactly?" He picked my drink up.

"Practice makes perfect," I made sure to say that right as he took a sip hoping it'd make him choke, but all I got was a grin.

"If you ever really want to know perfect let me know, because Princess, mine is like royalty," he sent me a wink. The old Mary probably would have been disgusted, would have swatted at him, or left, but the new Mary found his comment funny.

"Not a chance in hell," I watched him with my drink.

"Yeah, and what does he have that I don't?" He started drinking it, I knew he was joking around and all, but I also knew him and Tim would always have a jealous relationship. They're both too hot headed to think rationally.

"Hm, I guess I'll never know then huh?" I was a little annoyed he drank all my drink, but not angry enough to say anything.

"You're drinkin for free, right? So how about you get you a drink?" His logic didn't make sense even when he was sober.

"Get your own damn drink!" I remarked.

"I got one!"

"Get your own," I hissed.

"Hey, you better start watching what you say you're running low on friends, you lost two in the same hour tonight." The old Mary would have been upset by Dally being such an ass, but the new Mary, hell she knew it was true.

"What does that make you my friend?" I would not consider Dally my friend. Or really any of the other guys. Sure we cared about each other, in the sense that we didn't want the other one to die, but we didn't hang out, we hardly talked, hell the only thing I knew about them was what my brothers told me.

"Maybe if you're lucky," he winked at me.

"Oh boy," I said with no emotion. He snickered and went back to his drink. "You know what you need, is better friends. You need to have people you go out with. Coming here to drink does not count. You need to meet people here! Angela already knocked you off you high horse so hell why not embrace it?" If I didn't know better I would have assumed that this was his way of an invitation.

"I do, or I did. I went out with Angela and her friends before I met Tim."

"Yeah, so what Tim doesn't allow you to go out an play?" Dally never left an opportunity open to make fun of Tim.

"Why do I need to go out, when I can stay in with him and have sex? Isn't that why you go out?" I knew I was at least partially right.

"Or to sleep with someone new," he shrugged as we heard the door close, I was slower to turn around than Dally was.

"Well damn isn't that funny, we were just talking about you," Dally fussed.

"All good things I'm sure," Tim said sarcastically coming up behind me. "Hey, Angela told me what happened, I thought I might find you here," he kissed my head.

"Get a fucking room," Dally fake gagged.

"You're just jealous, wish you had a girl as beautiful as mine, or one that wasn't cheating around on you in general," Tim, like Dally, never would play nice.

"I'm not about to sit here and listen to anymore fighting, so can it or I'm walking." I blurted before either of them continued.

"That's right your sister sure bitched enough for one day," Dally agreed.

"My sister?" Tim didn't understand Dally's comment so I wondered what Angela told him.

"Yeah coming into the Curtis' bitching about you and Mary! It caused quite the scene! Don't look so surprised pretty boy, you can't say you didn't know? How else would she have found out? It sure as hell wasn't Mary!" Dally never knew when to stop. I put my head down on the bar hopping my head would stop hurting.

"Can you leave us alone so we can talk? Christ Dally have some respect!" I assumed that Tim hit Dally because I heard something, but my head was down.

"You wanna talk to me about respect? Try talking to your sister!" Dally laughed at him. They started shoving each other, and I got up and left before they got any more violent.

"Now look what you did?" I heard Tim tell Dally.

"I didn't do a damn thing," Dally replied to him. I went upstairs and opened Travis' door, I found myself holding my breath as I opened it. I knew he wasn't going to be in there, I don't know what I was hoping for, but I was hoping for something.

I walked in his room and sat down on his bed, I really did believe that Travis' was going to come back, honestly I was just being selfish and wanted him here because I liked him being around.

"You know, even when you're upset you still look pretty cute," Tim told me as he walked in the room. I couldn't help but smile, it was real nice of him to come find me the way he did.

"You're alright Tim, I think I'll keep you," I met him a couple steps in and kissed his cheek. He wasn't settling for just a cheek kiss though.

"I'm sorry my family is such a pain," he pushed me back onto the bed.

"Mine's not really off that easy either," I told him pulling back a little hoping he'd get the hint.

"I'm sorry about Travis too, I know ya'll were close," he didn't get the hint, but I knew it was a lot for Tim to say that. He didn't dislike Travis, he was just the jealous type and always wanted me to be with him which could either be cute or a pain, maybe a mix of both.

"I appreciate you checking up on me," I gave in and wrapped my legs around him. I don't think Travis would have minded. But, when he reached for his pants I stopped him.

"Let's go back to your place," I pulled back. I could tell he wasn't in the mood for talking.

"Angela's home."

"So what she already knows, she told my family!" I kept scooting back, It was more obvious now that he was annoyed.

"Well then lets go to yours!" I knew he said that because he knew it wasn't an option.

"Just because my family knows doesn't mean they are okay with it or that we should flash it in front of their face.

"Then I guess we are staying here," he gave his usual smirky smile, because that's what he wanted all along.

"Tim, no." I stood up almost knocking him off the bed. Not because I all of a sudden got real strong, but because he probably wasn't expecting it.

"Why the hell not?" He was angry, which kind of made me angry.

"Did you come here just to have sex with me?"

"No, but since Im here!" He rolled over onto his back still not understanding what the problem was.

"I'm sorry but I can't!"

"Why not, huh?" He wasn't amused by my sudden change in plans.

'I can't do it here!" I finally told him.

"Bull shit, the first time you almost had sex was here! I'm the one that made us wait until you weren't drunk!" He crossed his arms clearly angry now.

"Yeah but that wasn't here, and a lot has changed since then, Tim come on!" I pleaded with him.

"Jesus Mar, is it because this is Travis' room? Please, its not like he would care! He has bigger problems to worry about! Why do you care what he thinks anyway!" Tim was also standing now.

"Please Tim, don't do this," I whispered. He reached his hand out and I thought he was going to hit me so I flinched. "Christ, Curtis," he swore continuing to picking a paper up off the night stand.

"What the fuck is?" He started to read it, I had no idea at first.

"He left you a love letter!" Tim looked disgusted

"He did not," I reached for it, but he was faster than me.

"Tell me you don't have feelings for him!" He demanded

"I've told you this a thousand times Tim, him and I were just friends don't be like this!" I yelled back at him the same way he yelled at me.

"Well good," he smiled ripping it in half. I felt like I had just been punched in the gut.

"What the hell did you do that for!" I screamed at him.

"It shouldn't mean anything if he was just your friend." He spoke flatly as if that made a lick of sense.

"I can't believe you are jealous of someone who isn't even here, why can't you trust me!" I didn't know how I was feeling just then.

"because I just don't!" he wasn't making any sense.

"Damn it Tim, I have never done anything but be faithful to you!" I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

"Mary, if I walk out that door I'm never coming back," Tim lowered his voice. I looked at him for a second not really believing what he was saying.

"You're telling me that I have to either have sex with you right now or we're through?"I was horrified at what just came out of my mouth.

"I mean so little to you that you can just walk out and never think about me again?" I started to feel light headed.

"I should have listened when everyone told me a Curtis was just damaged goods," and he walked out with my letter from Travis in his hand. As the door slammed I fell to my knees in so much pain. I was so hurt by Tim, I was so devastated by Angela, and I was so scared for Travis. I tried to contain my tears but I couldn't I laid down an cried. I had heard people say they cried all night long, but I never truly believed them, because I had cried myself to sleep before, but never had I cried all night long. Well it was around 2 when Tim left so I only really cried for 4 hours. When I saw the sun coming up I figured I better get up for school. As mush as I honestly didn't care if I didn't go and they kicked me out, I just knew it would kill Darry, and I couldn't imagine hurting anyone else. I did the best I could to look less like I had been crying all night, but there wasn't much I could do to stop my face from looking so swollen. I did change clothes and fix my hair. I walked out of Travis' room at the same time Dally walked out of his.

"Well don't you look like a bouquet of roses this morning." I didn't even dignify his comment with a response. But of course that didn't stop him from talking. "That was quite the argument you and Tim had last night, so if I'm looking a little tired its because you two kept me up." I save him a quick glance before ignoring him walking to Travis' car. "Aren't you going to give me a ride?"

"Fine" was all I answered.

"You know," Dally started, but I cut him off.

"I don't want to know Dallas," i sighed. He was quiet for about a minute before he started again.

"The sex better be good if you'r going to let him upset you like that." I gave him a look again but it just made him talk more. "All I'm saying is it better be worth it."

"It's not, we're over, so spread the word or what ever the hell you do because I couldn't care less Dally." I wasn't even upset, I wondered if I could have truly gotten over it this fast or maybe I just didn't care anymore.

"Well shit, Princess, I didn't think you'd tell him no." Dally was about to push me too far.

"Yeah, well, I guess you don't really know me." I took my hands off the wheel to light a smoke, but I couldn't get it, and Dally got tired of wathcing me struggle.

"Come here," He pulled my hand to his necklace and light it.

"What a gentleman," I muttered putting it to my mouth and taking a drag.

"I try." He grinned as I parked and we both got out. He stood around the car waiting for the rest of the gang to get here, I didn't I had a lot to do and I wasn't in the mood to be around people. I hope that changed by the time I went to work because I had about 20 people to interact with then, it was pay day, so that made it a little better. I wasn't sleepy tired like I might fall asleep, I was more exhausted tired where I thought I might die, and I wasn't really sure that I would care all that much either way. I went by my locker and picked up some book going to my first class a little early to read the chapter real fast incase she quized us the more I read the more I realized that I really didn't care. I didn't care about school, I didn't even really care if I failed out. Just look at Soda, he dropped out and he loves his life. Then again, I would not want to work at the gymnastics studio my whole life, so I probably should at least stay in high school. I decided I didn't care, I was leaing. I gathered up my books and left even before the bell rang.

"Mary!" Two-bit called after me as I left the classroom.

"Hey," I smiled, I was glad it was only him. But as if my luck turned right in front of my eyes Steve and Pony came over too.

"Whoa, you're looking rough," Pony said and Two-bit swatted at him.

"Yeah, sorry, I didn't sleep well last night," I don't know why I felt embarrassed, its not like I needed to dress up for them.

"Where'd you take off to this morning, Super Man was kinda pissed to have to make breakfast!" Two-bit tried to change the subject.

"I just had a lot I needed to do, I won't be back for dinner either, but I froze some soup the direction to thaw it are on the the fridge, can one of ya handle that?' I looked over my shoulder as I starting walking the other way to ditch when I walked right into Angela.

"I'm so- Angela?" I said when I realized it was her.

"Tim told me you and him had a big fight, he was really pissed that I went off on you like that with out letting you explain that ya'll were in love, I should have listened. I just wanted to clear the air," Angela talked like she hadn't betrayed me on every level.

"You wanna clear the air Ang?" I sighed and decided not to take the high road.

"Pulling that shit in front of my family is something I will never forgive you for, you know how hostile its been already and you just added to it. I know you were upset, but still how could you? And as for loving your brother, he honestly never looked at me than someone screw so that's on me. I'd be better off if I never saw either of you again. Have a nice life,"I thought I would feel better after I got that off my chest but I didn't, I just started to walk. I didn't know where.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Let me know what you are thinking. How would you feel about a Travis POV from Vietnam? I don't have much experience witting from that setting, but I have been doing some research. Also, does anyone know if letters were two ways during Vietnam? Could Travis write Mary letters as well as her write him? Anyone know?

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The move from Texas to Tulsa hadn't been an easy one. The teachers weren't especially kind, I hadn't actually helped a student other the ones who were forced to come to me, and when students are forced to talk to me we never get anywhere. If I wasn't so prideful I'd move back to Texas, but I'd never hear the end of it and I wasn't that desperate yet.

"I need a favor," my door swung open startling me.

"Mary, please sit down, what do you need?" She looked so scared I had never seen her like this.

"I can't go to my classes today," she stood leaned up against my door.

"Are you sick, you don't look well," I wasn't sure what help I could be other than sending her to the nurse.

"No I'm not sick, that's why I need your help. I can't just skip because the principal will call home to see if I was sick, and I won't be home to answer because I'm working. I just can't let Darry down anymore. Can you please help me," she looked so tired and fragile I just wanted to give her a hug.

"Why don't you just sit down, and let's figure out what I can do to help." I tried to coax her, I should have known she was too smart for that.

"Can you go tell my teachers I'm going to miss and get my work?" She didn't budge.

"I can do that, but Mary you'll first have to tell me what's going on." I had to many of Mary's teachers on a fairly regular basis, so I knew they would be on board and wouldn't give me a fuss for pulling her out of class.

Mary looked panicked and I smiled trying to make her feel more comfortable."Okay lets work out a deal. Where can we go talk out of my office, off school, that will make you feel like you can open up. You're family is at school or work right, can we go to your house? Or what about the Diner where you work can we talk there?" I thought both of those were valid suggestions but she argued.

"We can't go to my house, and we certainly can't go to the Diner, I was fired. I know a park?" She raised her eye brows at me.

"Sounds perfect," I tried to sound over excited so maybe she would mellow out. "I'll go talk to your teachers, and then we'll walk out to your car okay? I don't think your suppose to be in my car. You've not going to leave me stranded are you?" I tried to joke with her, she wasn't in a laughing mood. So I went and talked to her teachers, none of them gave me a hard time, but I was surprised at how much work they wanted her to do. I was certain she wasn't going to miss that much.

"Okay, lets go,"I held the door open for her. We walked out the back door to her car and we both got out in silence.

"I really like this car, it drives so smoothly," I complimented trying to get her to trust me.

"Thanks, It my friend Travis'."

"Hm Travis, does he go to our school?" The name didn't ring a bell I figured we'd start with him, I knew Mary wasn't going to volunteer any information.

"No, he's from California, he just deployed yesterday." Hm, okay, so far so good, I believed that Mary and I might actually get some where.

"My dad was in the military, and I know that it's nothing like a friend, but it was always really hard at first when he leaves because it always seems so sudden right? And life keeps moving so fast its hard to keep moving with out them." I watched her body language as I talked and I could tell that I had described something she had felt. "I'm not saying that it goes away, but you start to trust a little more. You learn to get use to the unknowns. Is this his first deployment." I kept going hoping I would get lucky.

"No, this is his third. He came home early on his 2nd because his best friend died." Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought.

"Man, that's tough I bet you were really able to help him out huh, because you too experienced loosing two people," I swung and I missed. She pinched up her nose.

"He didn't even tell me until a couple weeks ago. He felt responsible because his best friend only joined because he did. He said his best friend kept their spirits high over there and always found the glass half full," Mary smiled faintly.

"Why'd Travis join the army?" I figured if it were his third tour he either had to be a lot older than her or he had to have dropped out, I wondered if she wanted to drop out too and maybe that's why they got so close.

She paused thinking about her answer, I didn't want to give her a chance to think of a lie,"You're going to have to talk to me Mary, I stuck my neck out for you with all your teachers."

"His dad as abusive."

"Did he talk to you a lot about that?"

"No he only mentioned it once," he face hardened again.

"What did you guys talk about?" I asked her hoping to get my next clue because this was a dead end.

"Anything and everything. He became my best friend, and really a part of the gang. Everyone like having him around. He went to his first rodeo, cooked meals, cleaned, played football, he did everything with us." She was smiling again not tearing up, so I knew her memories of him were fresh enough to help her not be depressed over him leaving. "So then how did Angela feel about you having a new best friend?" She started to pick at the seem in her skirt.

"We just stopped hanging out as much because I was always with Travis or my boyfriend at the time, and she had her own problem that kind of kept her busy so we both stopped going out so it wasn't a big deal." I knew I had hit the jackpot.

"Tell me about your boyfriend, he's new right?" I hadn't heard or seen Mary with any guy at school. Most of the information I get is by watching the students and from what other students tell me. For example, I already knew Angela was pregnant, but I didn't think that Mary knew I knew.

"Uhm," I knew this was hard for her to answer.

"You have nothing to loose by telling me, I honestly only care if you care." I continued to try to reassure her.

She thought for a minute, and I could tell she was trying to think of a way to say it with out sounding bad, "I was dating Tim, Angela's older brother, but it wasn't as bad as it sounded. He actually was a gentleman, I really liked being around him, I thought it could have turned into something, but I was wrong." She didn't start to cry or anything, but I could tell this was a main source of her pain.

"My mom always told me that you meet the right guy through all the wrong ones, so what happened to make you and Tim break up?" I didn't expect her to react the way she did to my question.

"I really think we have talked enough," she almost sounded a little angry.

"You're right we have talked a lot, and I want to remind you that you've still got a long way to go," Sometimes I try to take the approach of being their friend in oder to make the student open up to me, but with Mary, I knew that would never work. She would never trust me enough, so I knew I had to play bad cop. I had leverage too, she came into my office begging for help, I could use that.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it," Mary's tone changed I knew she knew I had the ability to make her tell me, or get her in a lot of trouble with her brother or the school.

"Why not? Why can't you tell me?" I was curious, but mostly I just wanted to get her talking in order to connect the dots.

"I just want to forget it," she mumbled.

"I can help with that, but you have to tell me." I felt like a robot, I kept saying the same things. Mary was quiet and didn't budge. "Mary, I don't appreciate you jerking me around!" I raised my voice and she jumped. "Did he take advantage of you, did he cheat on you, did he hurt you, did he," I was going to keep listing things until I made her uncomfortable enough to talk.

"Nothing like that!" She yelled back to me. I expected this so it did not really startle me.

"Then what!"

"He was always jealous of Travis and I thought we were passed that he told me he trusted me, and he came over when he found out Travis deployed and he wanted to have sex in Travis room! When I told him I didn't want to he just accused me of liking Travis, he tore up a letter Travis wrote to me called me damaged and left." I could tell by her reaction that this was the first time she said it out loud.

"So this happened last night after Travis left, talk about a rough evening. I am sorry you had to go through that. What did Angela say when she found out you and Tim were dating? Did you tell her when you first started?" In a way I hated to ask such hard questions when she was starting to get upset, but on an other hand she was more likely to say something useful.

"She came to my house and bitched me out in front of my family about it, and at first I did feel bad because I should have told her, but Tim and I decided I wouldn't tell Darry and he wouldn't tell his siblings." She pulled onto a little side street and I had no idea where we were.

"Why didn't you want your family to know?" I had a feeling why, any teenager doesn't want their family to know their love life, but if she said it it would help her more.

"I just try to keep it together for them ya know? We're just not the kind of family who talks about that. They wouldn't understand." Classic response- they wouldn't understand.

"Did you try telling them though, have you tried to communicate?" I asked her as she parked the car.

"No, honestly I don't want to, I didn't ever want them to know especially like that." She had a valid point. We got out of the car and I followed her across this old parking lot.

"Well what did your family say when they found out?" I was not dressed to be walking through the woods the way we were.

"I don't know yet, Travis came in and told me he needed a ride to the bus stop before he deployed." So Angela and Mary fought, then Travis deployed, then her and Tim broke up. Talk about the worst night ever.

"Oh boy," I sighed. We were both quiet for a little while as we walk to this park. "Where are we?"

"A park," she replied like I was stupid. I did kind of set myself up for that one.

"Travis wanted to make this an appropriate park on our side of town, when he first got here he didn't understand the greaser/ soc situation, he just wanted everyone to have everything." I had heard about the greaser/ soc situation Mary referred to, however I never gave it too much thought.

"He's a special guy, Mary it's okay to be scared." She sat in a swing and I stood beside her. "It's okay to be angry too. It doesn't make you a bad person to be upset that he's gone."

"I wish I could tell you what I felt." She looked distraught, and I really did feel for her.

"What you have to do is figure that out, unfortunately that's hard because you have so many people in your life that has caused them emotions to reveal, so you have to sort through each of them and Mary it's a lot of work! You have to know there is nothing wrong with you, and there is nothing wrong with letting people know how you feel." I put my hand on her knee and she looked at me in the eyes for the first time since I met her.

"Let's start with Darry, because I think his is going to be the most complicated." I saw her nod in agreement, so I took a deep breath in and continued. "You told me you got fired from the diner, is what why you feel like you can't let Darry down anymore?" This would have been my second strike of the evening, but you can't always guess right.

"Not really, Curly, Angela and Tim's brother got me fired from there, that's why I was suspended a few weeks ago for calling him some unlady like words in the cafeteria when I found out. No one knows that I'm not working at the Diner anymore, or if they do they haven't asked me about it. All that really matters is the pay check." So much of what Mary just said disturbed me.

"So what are you doing now?" I had a bad feeling about her answer.

"Travis' best friend who died, dad owns a gym here and I work there."

"So why not tell Darry?"

"Why tell him?"

"So you two can be on the same page? You need to have good communication skills, he is your guardian Mary, what if he needed you and called the Diner and you weren't there?" I thought I had a valid point but she didn't agree.

"Yeah, but it was easier not to tell him I was fired, it was easier to just start working at the gym. Nothing else could possibly happen to this family that they would need to pull me away from work.

"Things can always be worse Mary," I lost her respect just then.

"Easy for you to say," she got off the swing.

"Okay, okay, lets go back to Darry. Why do you feel like you can't let him down anymore? What are ways you have let him down?"

"Well, Soda and his girlfriend of a long time broke up because she was pregnant, so I took him to a bar and he was such a light weight he knocked over a lamp when I got him back in the house, I was suspended from school, I've been sleeping with one of the biggest ass holes in Tulsa, and I drink too much. I think that if anything else is added to that list he will just up and disown me." She didn't seem upset by what she was saying, and that confused me.

"Do you care what Darry thinks?"

"More than I realize. Hell, it's the only reason I'm staying in school, because I know it would kill him if I dropped out too." I didn't understand why Mary didn't seem more upset.

"If you worry about what he thinks so much then why do you drink and sleep with Tim? Wouldn't it be easier not to do it than it is to hide it?" I sort of let my age show then. It just made so much more sense to me why hide it?

"You sound like Travis," she smiled a little,"it's fun and it helps me relax. There was never any harm in it."

"I'm looking at you right now and I can tell there's harm that came from your choices. Maybe not on other people but on yourself. Mary life does not have to be this hard."

"You can't possibly tell me that life doesn't have to be this hard! It's the hand that we were given! Life got hard when my parents died, life got hard when Darry started working two jobs, when Soda dropped out, life got hard when God decided to give parental responsibilities to teenagers! None of these have to do with my social life!" I knew Mary being defensive right now meant that she really felt like she was responsible, but either she didn't realize it or she didn't admit it. I could tell she wanted to cry, and I really just wished she would.

"Mary you know about heart ache you've experienced a lot of it, but what heart break is really all about is how you handle it." I couldn't tell if she was listening to what I was saying or not, but I decided to keep trying just incase. "When your parents died you and especially Darry went into what we call crisis mode. You knew you had to keep it together for Pony and Soda, and you knew there was a lot to be done, so you just did it. In a lot of ways that's a good thing. It put order in your house, it established roles that were necessary, but it also left you with out resolving those problems. Now you're out of crisis mode with your parents death because from what I can see you have a pretty strong hold at home, but the little pieces like your friends and your boyfriend can't be fixed the same way you fixed that way. You have to let somethings go you can't fix everything."

"Yeah, well I let both Angela and Tim go today, so I'm way ahead of you."

"It's obviously not that easy though or your wouldn't look this upset." I didn't mean to upset her, but I had a feeling that I did.

"Yeah, well, what's meant to be will always find a way. It was a one way relationship anyway." I could tell that wasn't true.

"Maybe they took more than they gave, but if you truly never benefited from the relationships then you wouldn't care if they ended." I didn't mean to sound like a know it all.

"I mean Angela and I go way back you know? But we only became best friends when I started to want to go out. With Tim, he's always in for the sex, and even though I knew that I guess I still fell for him, I thought he really cared about me."

"Let's start with Angela, if she apologized to you would you forgive her? If she recanted what she said would you want to still be friends?" I thought she would need to think about her response, but she didn't she responded faster than a speeding bullet.

"No, the Shepherd phase of my life is over. I just need to move forward for once. I was doing that with Travis."

"What did Travis do that the Shepherd's don't?"

"He actually gave a damn about me," she laughed. "He cared about me and my family. He made everything relevant, he knew me and still liked me."

"He's not the only one in your life who cares about you, but he's just the only one who knows how to show you." I knew very confidently that Mary's family cared about her. Families who had been through loss like her's did either brings them together, or it tares them apart. I believed it brought hers together.

"Ma'am don't act like you know my life when you don't. With all do respect you have no idea! The pressure, its suffocating. I know they love me, but most of that love comes from need. We never were super close before they died, all that changed what I stepped up once they died." I knew this was bound to happen. I was going to strike a nerve and make her angry one too many times.

"Is it the pressure that drives you to drink? Is it the pressure that drove you to Tim? Is it the pressure they put on you, or is it the pressure you put on yourself?" And I was off in the deep in.

"I think i've talked to you enough to hold up my end of the bargain. I need to take a nap before I go to work, if I go in like this he's going to fire me." She started walking to the car. I would agree that she did talk more than I would have expected. We got in the car and I didn't say anything. I could tell her mind was over heating, anything we talked about from now on would be nothing but defensive comments. I just hoped she would come back into my office again, although I had doubts.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
>I finally got the bitch out of my car only seconds before I had a total melt down. I rested my head on my steering wheel when I got to a stop sign.<br>"Come on Mar," I talked to myself feeling a bit of shame. I felt so ashamed talking to her like that, she didn't help, what was I thinking? I was so relieved when Buck's car wasn't in front of his house I walked in and went straight to Travis' room and laid down. I hadn't felt this tired in a really long time. I knew if I closed my eyes that I would fall asleep immediately, but I didn't care.  
>"Mary, you're better than this."<br>"Travis?" My heart was pounding my my chest.  
>"Yeah, who else would it be?" His voice sounded like him, but I couldn't see him clearly. Everything was a fuzzy light image I couldn't make out.<br>"Is this real?" I didn't understand.  
>"It is to you," he assured me.<br>"Travis," I whispered.  
>"Don't let the Shepard's drag you down. What's meant to be will always find a way. You didn't do anything wrong so you don't need to fix anything. Fix your family Mar, use that extra time to be there. You'll get through this." He seemed as confident as ever.<br>"Travis I'm alone."  
>"Mary, don't you start feeling sorry for yourself. You are not alone."<br>"I need you Travis," I started to tear up again. When did I become such a whiney pain?  
>"No you don't, you can do this. The Mary I know is strong and independent, she just needs to get her head back on. Get a beer after work Mary, and get on with your life." I wished he could give me a hug, but I didn't think that it worked that way. I didn't know how this illusion I was having worked.<br>"Are you safe Travis?" I had this knot in my gut that I couldn't shake, I knew he wasn't.  
>"Don't worry about me doll, I can take care of myself, just like you can take care of yourself. Don't you trust me?" His words made me smile.<br>"Of course I trust you, I never stopped." That's true. I trusted him from the beginning, and I never knew why I did. With that he was gone. My eyes opened and I was more confused than I was before I laid down. I sat up looking over to the clock disoriented. Taking a few deep breaths I put my feet back on the floor and started to change into my work clothes.

"You are not crazy Myra, pull it together." I talked to myself out loud. "Travis would want you to keep moving." I wasn't sure I believed myself but I dragged my tired butt out the door with out looking back. My body was numb, and I was on auto pilot. I liked working at the gym I really did, but I probably like my waitress job better. Sometimes I felt l was in the way and didn't really have much to do. Sure I helped them stretch, and I timed them when they did strength training, but it wasn't ever anything urgent. Sometimes I would spot the girls on the beam and uneven bars, but normally he would just do it, and I kind of stood their watching. When everyone left I scrubbed mats, floors, and cleaned towels.  
>"Mary, you are early!" Mr. Grayson smiled at me as I walked in. "I'd love it if you worked with these three on basic beam form. They are starting from square one." He always had such passion.<br>"It's been a while sir," I opened my eyes wide at his suggestion.  
>"Oh please, it's like riding a bike!" He assured me. Little did he know I never learned how to ride a bike.<br>"What the hell," I sighed turning to the three five year olds. "This is the balance beam. I spent most of my life thinking it was a bean, like a string bean, but its actually beam. The trick to the beam is to not think about being off the ground. I'll show you a trick." I pulled some tape out of a bucket and put it in the floor. "This is the same size as the beam, but on the ground. Anything you can do in between those lines you can do on the beam." It took us a while, but they did handstands, cartwheels, and one girl even did a split. When I first put them on the beam, I explained to them that on beam it was just as important to look graceful and sawn like as it is to nail tricks. I forgot I was talking to five year olds. All they cared about was doing cool stuff high off the ground. I liked being around them though. They made me laugh with how much  
>energy they had, and how happy they were. I lost that part of me a long time ago. Time went by faster, and I was cleaning mats and washing towels before I knew it.<br>"Too bad Travis couldn't have seen you with them, you really did good Mary!" Mr. Grayson complimented. I looked at him puzzled as to how he knew Travis has left.  
>"I may be old but I'm not blind. I saw him in the parking lot checking on you almost everyday!" He chuckled and I smiled to only to realize he didn't know, and I was torn on whether I should tell him or not. The place cleared out pretty fast everyone's parents were either on time or they got rides. That's how you knew socials trained here, by the parents who had the time and the money to spend watching their kid fly through the air.<br>"Something on your mind Mary?" He came up behind me scaring the life out of me.  
>"Jesus!" I dropped the rag I was using. He took my breath away startling me like that. I must have been deeper in thought than I realized.<br>"You nearly wore a hole in my mat," he pointed. I looked at the hole and then back to him. His smile faded and he leaned on the beam behind me.  
>"Travis went back last night," I knew that would bring back memories of his son Ryan. He was quiet for a long time. Then he got up with out saying anything and walked into his office. I assumed he needed sometime alone. I went back to cleaning the mats trying to pay more attention not to wash it too much. I wondered how hard it must be to loose your son. Loosing my parents was bad, especially both of them that way, but loosing your son. Having to burry him, never to see him grow up, I could only imagine how horrible that must be. He came back out with scotch in his hand and sat down on the beam straddling it and patting it motioning for me to join him. He poured me some of his liquor, but we still hadn't spoken. I was starting to get uncomfortable.<br>"It gets easier," he looked at me a way that reminded me of how my father use to look at me.  
>"I use to live in fear of this day. Then once they were gone I would do nothing but worry about him when he was gone. Every time the door bell rang I would get chills down my spine. Then when he finally made it home he wouldn't be the same. It was like he was a guest in my home. He didn't sleep for days, it was like he was still in survival mode he could never just sit down and watch t.v. Then once he finally started to get better he would leave again. But the third tour I learned how to adapt. I learned that I needed to keep living my life." He drank all of his drink in one sip then poured more. I did the same gritting my teeth having a hard time swallowing.<br>"He cares about you. You have to keep living for him. When he comes back he'll need that." He put his hand on my shoulder.  
>I smiled weakly at him trying to search my words for something good to say. "How do you shake the feeling that he might not come back?" He looked at me for a long time before saying anything. "Sorry that was out of place," I wish I could take that back.<br>"Your world stops when you loose someone you care about. For a long tim I just pretended he was back over there. It made it easier, but then you finally just accept that things have changed and you continue to move on. You live for there memory," he poured me some more and then put the cap back on.  
>"I know what death does to a family," I spoke up looking up from a floor.<br>"Yeah, you sure do. So, that makes it harder doesn't it? When my wife died Ryan was all I had left. I was so afraid he would die too, but you can't think about that. It won't do any good." He put his hand on top of mine and I let a tear slide down my cheek. "You need to do something for yourself. I did, I bought this place, moved down here and started my own studio. Maybe you should follow in my footsteps. You were good with those girls today. I'd be willing to work out a deal with you." He stood up on the beam and looked at me.  
>"What kind of deal are we talking about?" I had a funny feeling about this.<br>"You coach those girls everyday to get them ready for their competition, and I'll work with you to get you back into the saddle, early in the mornings or late in the afternoons." He seemed so sure of himself, I wondered if he was where Travis got it from.  
>"I don't know about this." I told him as I jumped down.<br>"You deserve to do something for you self Mary. No one has to know, I know how you like your secrets. Don't seem so surprised kiddo, Travis and I talked. I know more than you think I do." He kept looking at me.  
>"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that." I wasn't comfortable with what was going on.<br>"Don't you trust me?" He asked me. I could have hurled when he said that. That was Travis' line, he could not possibly say it too. On the first night I met Travis he asked me if I trusted him. It's what made him stand out. With out him catching my attention like that we probably never would have become such good friends.  
>"I don't trust anyone anymore. It's a waste of time." I left like mine and Travis' relationship was a fraud. It was like I had a relationship with Mr. Grayson.<br>"Travis was the same way at first. His dad made him loose his trust. It took years and years for him to build back up trust. But over time he learned, and look he taught you." He was a wise man, Mr Grayson.  
>"I really think I should be going," I started towards the door.<br>"When Travis came and talked to me about getting you a job, I was hesitant.I had already lost my son, and I really thought I was done with kids. I know your not a kid, and I'm not saying that I would be parenting you or anything, all I mean is that when someone works with me or trains with me, you develop a relationship. I had a good relationship with my son, and then I had a good one with Travis, and now there both gone, so I thought in a way I was too. I was tired of being hurt. But then I realized something. I can still help Travis. He came in here and told me that you saved him. So, by working with you I'm helping him, and he is all I got left." He touched my arm, waiting for my response. I didn't know how I felt about what he was saying. It was too much to take in, and I had no one to talk about it to.  
>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<p>

"Where's Mary, I didn't see her at lunch either?" Pony asked as he walked up to the car. "Hell if I know, I haven't see her since her run in with Angela," I shrugged my shoulder smiling a little bit thinking about Mary. She really could hold her own.  
>"Did they fight?" Dally seemed interested.<br>"Nah, but Mary called her out on her bull shit, told her that she would be better off seeing any of the Shepherd." Steve summarized the earlier events with ease.  
>"Geeze when is she gonna catch a break?" Kathy asked. We had had similar conversations like this before. Usually they all involved a Shepherd as well. Maybe it was good she was staying clear of them, although that was news to me. I didn't really think that Mary and Tim were in love, definitely not like Soda and Sandy were, but I don't think they were just fooling around either. I had seen them around enough to know that there was something there.<br>"They had a hell of a fight last night, I was surprised she even came to school today!" Dally added that last part adding more and more to this story I knew so little about.  
>"Yeah he wanted some in Travis' room, and she was not for that. Left with doors slamming and screaming. That broad cried the whole damn night. Believe me, the whole night. She told me this morning on the way over here to spread the word they were done." Dally said this all so lightly like it wasn't a big deal, when it really was. "If you ask me the sex is better when you're sneaking around. When people find out about it, it takes away the surprise," Dally wrapped his arms around Sylvia's waist giving her a wink. Pony's face turned fire truck red.<br>"I would have been okay not hearing that," Evie added making a face at Dally. "Ya'll need to give her some privacy!"  
>"I wouldn't want ya'll to talk like that about me!" Kathy defended.<br>"What makes you think we don't!" I kidded her only because it was easy to. Kathy swatted at my arm like girls do.  
>"As fun as this has been, I need to get to work," Steve was still smiling and kissed Evie's cheek before leaving.<br>"Geeze kid, you're still red, take a deep breath, a little sex talk never killed no one!" I ruffled his hair.  
>"Did Mary tell you where she was going?" Pony hopefully asked Dally.<br>"Shoot kid, I ain't her keeper. She was gone by the time I was even out of the car!" Dally lit a weed and offered us one.  
>"I'm sure she's fine Pony," Johnny tried to assure Pony like a good friend.<br>"Alright, I'm heading out to the the stables, you hoods stay out of trouble," Dally gave Sylvia a look before he left. Kathy, Evie, and Sylvia walked off by themselves after I told Kathy I would call her. I made a mental note to remember to call her, she got awfully pissed when I forgot to call her the other night. That left Johnny, Pony, and I to fend for ourselves.  
>"I need to get to practice, after I have a lot of homework I need to do. Where are you headed?" Pony spoke up not surprising me much.<br>"Shoot, whats the hurry? He can't really punish you, your sport is already a punishment. What about you Johnnycake, any plans?" I knew Johnny didn't have any plans either, but I figured I might as well ask.  
>"Nope," Johnny added.<br>"If Mary is MIA, what's for dinner?" I was starting to get hungry already, and I needed to make sure if there was not going to be food at the Curtis', or edible food, then I would need to make sure I get home in time for my Old Woman to feed me.  
>"She told me she froze some casserole in the freezer. She said the instructions were on the fridge." Pony didn't seem too sure, and I had my doubts, but I knew it would be better than what ever Soda tried.<br>"Is she suppose to be working tonight?" Johnny wondered.  
>"Yeah, she said she'd be late. I just hope she comes home for Darry's sake. He doesn't like it when she's not there in the mornings." Pony seemed a little worried. That kid could get worked up over nothing.<br>"How are Darry and Mary? Are they getting along better? I haven't heard anything." I knew when Darry struck her it was an accident, and I knew she didn't hold it against him, but I could also see Darry giving Mary a hard time, and I could see Mary being angry.  
>"They are fine," Pony didn't let on much. He probably didn't even know. He could be so blind at times..<br>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
>"Hey Soda," Darry greeted me earlier than I had expected.<br>"Hey Dar! You're home early!" I considered that to be a good thing. I liked it when he was home early. That meant he wouldn't be as tired the next day.  
>"Yeah, we finished the house today, let me tell you, that was a rich fellow!" I smiled at Darry. Sometimes I think that Darry wished he could live like that. I think he wished he would have something to show off all of his hard work. I wasn't like that. All I needed was the gang, I didn't care about the rest of it.<br>"Where's Pony?" I asked him as he set al of his stuff down on the table. I assumed he was just dragging his feet in the car.  
>"What do you mean? Isn't Mary picking him up?" Darry was starting to look nervous.<br>"No, she's working late, didn't you read the note?" Soda pointed to the fridge.  
>"No I didn't think to look at the fridge, this is what happens when she's a-wall in the mornings!" Darry snapped grabbing his keys.<br>"Let me do it, you just heat up dinner, directions are on the note," I couldn't help but grin. I knew Pony was fine, he knew better than to leave the school. It was early still he probably wasn't even done yet. Darry was mumbling to himself when I left.  
>It wasn't but a 3 minute drive from the house. If we didn't have to working about the socs we'd definitely let him walk, but we weren't on great terms with them since Johnny. It was only a matter of time before something went wrong.<br>"Hi ya Pone!" I waved out of the window. He was standing at the steps to the track with some of his team members.  
>"Soda, what are you doing here? Is anything wrong?" It worried me that the first thing he thought when he saw me was something bad.<br>"Nothing like that! Mary's working late and Darry's home early!" I tried to calm him down. I leaned over and opened the door for him.  
>"Did Darry forget to pick me up?" Pony's always been bright, you couldn't just breeze things over your head.<br>"He thought Mary was," I hoped he would drop it there but he didn't.  
>"She's working late," Pony told me, I already knew that.<br>"Yeah, Darry didn't know that," I gave him a smile reassuring him that it was okay.  
>"Mary left a note," Pony added.<br>"I know that, you know that, Mary knows that but you know Darry, doesn't. He doesn't always see the obvious things so please, let this slide. For a peaceful night I beg you!" I tickled Pony with my right hand. He wasn't as ticklish as I use to be.  
>"Fine, fine, remember this when he accuses me of not using my head." Pony laughed as we parked the car.<br>"Roger that," he followed me in putting his arm around me. Dinner smelled good when we got in.  
>"Hey Dar," Pony greeted him making me take a sigh of relief that there wasn't about to be a fight.<br>"Hey little buddy, sorry about the mix up," Darry looked flustered.  
>"It's fine it was perfect timing actually. It smells real good," I was proud of Pony. Taking the high road at 13.<br>"It's not okay! What if you would have been left there and had no ride at all! What is Soda didn't remember. Something could have happened to you being out on your lonesome." Darry's imagination was getting the best of him.  
>"I'm okay Darry, don't sweat it. Let's eat I'm starved." I knew it wasn't that simple.<br>"Yeah Dar, next time Mary leaves a note I'll make sure to tell you, no big deal. It won't happen again." I smiled hopefully.  
>"She was suppose to pick up Pony, if she couldn't then she should have told me this morning. Where the hell was she anyway?" Darry growled.<br>"I think she had a lot on her mind, she probably just left early to get some work done," I defended her, but I knew this was only just the beginning.  
>"Yeah, well we all do." Darry sat down in the chair. I hoped it was done there, but I had a feeling it wasn't<br>"Let's not over react," I pleaded.  
>"Was she at Tim's, has she been sleeping there?" Darry shocked both of us with that comment.<br>"Darry!"  
>"She's still under my guardianship for a couple more months and I will not have her sleeping around!" Darry was being so cold. I couldn't believe it.<br>"Pony, can you give us a second?" I asked not wanting to talk about Mary's sex life in front of Pony. I didn't want to talk about it at all actually.  
>"How come, she's my sister too?" Pony disagreed. I gave him a look and he started to move, but not before Darry started talking.<br>"Tim Shepard," I should have known that would upset him.  
>"Pony, now," I nudged him onto the porch.<br>"She's not a little kid, you had to have thought she was dating someone."  
>"No, I thought she was too busy to have a relationship, like the rest of us!" I hoped Darry didn't say something she would regret.<br>"I know Tim's not the ideal guy, but they care about each other, can't you tell?" I hoped he could, because I could tell she had feeling for him.  
>"I will not have my sister be that easy! Tim fucking Shepard! It's like vinegar off my tongue. I'm with Angela on this one." That may have been the first time I heard Darry swear like that. I was so ashamed for him.<br>"Geeze Dar, what a thing to say! How can you act this surprised! Two-bit told you to call Tim the night we couldn't find her, what did you think they were doing, playing chess!" My heart started to race.  
>"Well I didn't think she was having sex with Tim!" He slammed his hands down scaring me a bit.<br>"I don't think I can trust a thing she says or does anymore! Getting suspended, getting you drunk, sneaking around with Tim, coming and going as she damn well pleases she is out of control!" I didn't even know how to respond, but Pony came in taking my attention.  
>"Can I say something? Before you jump down her throat there is so much you don't know, Darry. You only ever know your side of the story!" It surprised me a little that Pony spoke up after what he too was telling me the other night.<br>"Ponyboy," Darry started in a stern voice.  
>"You spoke, let him," I challenged.<br>"You don't give her enough credit. She left a note Darry, on the fridge, everyone saw it, but you. Maybe she should have told you in person, but she was at work, not sleeping with Tim. You know getting suspended wasn't her fault, that was all Curley, why don't you believe that!?" Pony wasn't yelling, but he did raise his voice.  
>"Pony you can't understand your 13," Darry interrupted, but Pony didn't stop.<br>"When she got Soda drunk maybe that wasn't the best idea, but any of the guys would have done the same thing, the only difference is that they wouldn't have been sober to help him get home safe." He had a good point there, I hadn't even thought of that. They had all even offered multiple times to take me out.  
>"I'm with you on Tim, but she was hiding it because she knew we wouldn't approve, and I just think that's awfully sad. And Darry, if you would take a second and look at her you could tell that she goes and comes as she pleases because it's how she stays sane. She leaves when she gets upset. It's the way she keeps it together for us! She's so much like mom you can't even see it!" Pony was yelling a little at that point, and it caused Darry to get defensive.<br>"You don't see the rest of us running every time we get upset Pony boy, you can't run away from her problems!" A classic Darry line.  
>"Who was she suppose to talk to Darry? Soda accused her of threatening Sandy and wouldn't speak to her after Steve's dad, you hit her and you've done nothing but doubt her, and I'm 13! She didn't have anyone Darry! Can you imagine what that must feel like?" Pony was upset now so I put my hand on his back, but I think he was successful in getting his point across.<br>"You're wise beyond your years kid," Darry told him a long moment later. "Let's eat." We all made small talk and sat together at the table, but I could tell that Darry was really thinking about what Pony said. After dinner I lounged around with Darry as he read the paper. Pony was in his room doing some homework. When 10 came, I decided to rally Pony up for bed before Darry asked.  
>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<br>I was feeling a lot of regret. It was nauseating really. I couldn't believe I could be such a jerk to my own sister. I hadn't even said out loud some off the worse things I was thinking. I almost felt worse for those. Mary did so much, and I was willing to just throw all that away because of what I built up in my head.  
>The turning of the front door broke my thoughts as Mary walked in. When she saw me I could tell she didn't really know what to say either.<br>"Hey Mary. Dinner was real good. I appreciate you preparing it like that."  
>"It's not a problem Darry. I've got to get some stuff done. I'll see you in the morning." I didn't want to let her leave yet. I wanted to talk. I wanted to mend our relationship.<br>"Can we sit and talk Mar bear?" I made a lame attempt to catch her soft side.  
>"No, I don't have the energy Darry." She did look really drained.<br>"Is it because of Angela?" I guessed, because that had been draining me.  
>"You could say that," she let out a sigh.<br>"I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to keep Tim a secret. I wish that I would have told you that you can always tell me anything, but I never did."  
>"Don't worry about it Darry." She didn't seem phased at all by what I was saying.<br>"But I do, Mary, I am sorry! Do you want me to get down on my knees?" If I thought that would have worked than I would have.  
>"It doesn't matter, we're done, no use is getting upset about the past," she filled up a cup of water.<br>"What do you mean you're done?" I wasn't following her.  
>"We broke up Darry, so we don't have to have this conversation." If she cared about him how could she be this okay after a break up.<br>"Why?" I was at a loss for words.  
>"Darry, I'm exhausted," she gave me a tiring look.<br>"I'm sorry if you broke up because of us." That was the only thing I could come up with.  
>"It had nothing to do with you, so stop worrying," she was half way into the bathroom.<br>"Then why?".  
>"Were not having this conversation Dar-" she stopped me.<br>"Mary I'm trying here, meet me half way!"  
>"You're too late Darry," she closed the bathroom door leaving me sitting there with a broken heart.<br>xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had to copy and paste my word doc into here and the format got all messed up, I apologize, please bare with me. Also Check out my story Faults


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